Page 83 of Offside Attraction
“Because?” I’m speechless, not sure of what I’m supposed to do with him. “My fucking God. You always do this,”always mess with my head and then act like it’s nothing.I want to tell him that but I don’t.
“Always do what?”
“You fucking kissed me four years ago after treating me like shit. And then you lied to everyone that I came onto you whenyouwere the one who kissed me. Do you get off from playing games with me?” I ask, my voice sounding more vulnerable than I intend to.
Why did I come out here with him?
Hayes is standing now, not saying a word even though I desperately want him to say something, anything to explain why he’s always been like this—why he keeps pushing me away only to pull me back in again. His silence grates on me, like an answer in itself, and it only makes me feel like a fool for agreeing to come here with me.
“Wow. You are a real piece of shit.” I manage to say, hating how the words sound in my ears; weak and vulnerable.
“Come on, Dakota. Don’t be like that,”
“Go fuck yourself.” I laugh, the sound sad and humorless as I step away from him.
My heart’s still racing, and I hate how shaky I feel. I hasten my footsteps, desperate to get away from this, from him. “We should go,” I mutter, the words sounding weak in the night. “Before someone noticed we’ve left.”
Hayes doesn’t argue, his eyes still on me, but there’s something unreadable in them now. “Alright,” he says, his voice casual.
I don’t answer. I can’t. My mind’s still spinning from what almost happened. I tell myself it was nothing—a mistake. But deep down, I know it’s not that simple.
We walk back to the bike in silence, the tension between us still thick in the air. I climb onto the back of the motorcycle, gripping the edge of Hayes’ jacket tighter than I should. As the engine roars to life and we speed down the road, I feel his body pressed against mine, the warmth of him burning through my skin.
And all I can think about is how close I came to crossing a line I’m not sure I can ever come back from.
CHAPTER 20
Thehumofthecar’s engine fills the silence, a steady drone that’s somehow louder than I’d like it to be. I sit in the backseat, staring out the window at the blur of streetlights and darkened houses passing by. My thoughts keep drifting back to the lake, to the way Hayes’s face was so close to mine, the air thick with the kind of tension that doesn’t just disappear.
What the hell was I thinking? Risking that kind of close proximity knowing full well how much power he has over me, even though I keep denying it. Why do I let him play with me all the time? When am I going to learn my lesson and just push him far away? Instead, I keep letting him in, close enough to fuck with me all over again.
“Hayes seems like a good kid,” Mom says from the front seat, breaking the silence. Her voice is casual, like she’s commentingon the weather. “I know you two have had your issues, but he’s really grown into a mature young man. Thoughtful and polite.”
Her words hit like a splash of cold water, snapping me out of my thoughts. I feel my jaw tighten as I look out the window, pretending I didn’t hear her. I don’t want to talk about Hayes. Not right now. Not after what he did just a few hours ago.
How could I have let him play me like that?
Mark, sitting in the driver’s seat, nods. “I agree. I hear he’s your team captain?” Mark asks. When I don’t respond, he casts a glance at me from the rearview mirror, a small smile plastered on his face as he watches me.
“Yeah,” I force myself to reply even though I badly want to get out of this car, go straight to my shower, and scrub every thought of Hayes out of my mind.
“I’m glad you two are finally becoming friends,” Mom says as she turns in her seat to look at me. “I know he treated you badly when you both were younger, but I’m glad he’s changed. He seems like a saint now.”
I bite back the retort that’s sitting on my tongue.
A saint, huh?
Hayes is anything but a saint. I know exactly who Hayes is. I know because I almost let myself forget it tonight. My fingers clench into a fist as I remember how close I came to letting him kiss me. Again. I was seconds away from lowering my guard for the same person who made sure I learned the hard way not to trust him
I stare at my mother before turning my gaze to glance at our familiar neighborhood coming into view.
Mom lets out a sigh, clearly disappointed, but I don’t care. She wasn’t there to see how things really went down back then. She didn’t see the way he laughed along with his friends, using my first kiss like a weapon to humiliate me. It’s been four years, butthe memory still stings, a reminder of why I swore I’d never let him get that close again
“You know, Dakota, when kids are around their peers, they tend to do stupid things all the time. This is why they’re called kids. Your mom told me what happened four years ago between you two and I think you should know boys that age make mistakes and they regret them. So I think you shouldn’t hold on to past grudges and don’t let it define what you think of him. People do change and Hayes seems like he’s really changed,” Mark says and I scoff under my breath.
I can feel his heavy gaze on me and I don’t have to look but I know he’s staring at me from the rearview mirror.
I hate it when people do this. Try to justify shit like they know what really went on in your life. Hayes might have “matured” or “changed”, but he’s still the manipulative asshole I knew four years ago and he showed me that side of him at the lake tonight.