Page 47 of Offside Attraction

But he’s not here to say those things anymore.

Fuck. I miss him. I miss him so fucking much.

I roll over, staring at the wall, my mind drifting back to my father when he was alive. Hockey used to mean something to me. Back when Dad was around, it wasn’t about revenge orproving a point. It was about the game, about pushing myself. I still hear his voice in my head sometimes—“Play with heart, Dakota, not anger.” He always said that. But now, it’s hard to remember what that even feels like.

Maybe that’s why it feels so hollow now.

What am I really trying to prove? That I’m stronger than Hayes? That I’m not the same boy who left town four years ago, broken and angry? Maybe. But sometimes it feels like no matter how much I’ve changed, Hayes still has this way of getting under my skin, of pulling out that version of me that I thought I buried a long time ago.

A knock on the door breaks the silence, and I tense immediately.

“Honey, are you decent? ‘Cause I’m coming in!” She doesn’t wait for an answer, just pushes the door open and steps inside like it’s her room

“Dinner will be ready soon,” she says, crossing her arms as she leans against the doorframe. Her voice has that edge to it, the one that always makes me feel like shit.

I’m not in the mood to talk right now.

“So I guess you made the team, huh?”

“Did Mrs. Griffin tell you that? You know since you guys are now besties.”

She sighs, the sound heavy and annoyed, like she’s the one who has to put up with me. “Stop being a brat, Dakota. No matter what you say, Kim and I are gonna be friends.”

Right.

I roll my eyes, my fingers coming to toy with my short hair.

“Look, I know you’re still adjusting to being back, but it wouldn’t kill you to try and talk to me once in a while. I’m trying here, Dakota. I’m seriously trying to make things work between us. I miss us. I miss talking with you,”

“Baby steps, mother. Baby steps.” I sigh and stand up, pulling my hockey Jersey over my head and tossing it on my bed.

That’s a signal for my mom to leave, but she doesn’t. I turn to look at my mom and she’s staring at the tattoos on my body. She’s still trying to get used to it. I can still remember the look of disappointment on her face when she found out for the first time.

“How was practice?”

“Good,” I say, my tone sharp and bitter.

“And I thought we were making progress with us,” she sighs, hesitates by the door, like she wants to say something else, but then she just sighs again and walks out, closing the door a little too hard behind her.

The second she’s gone, I sit down on the edge of my bed and rub my hands over my face, trying to shake the frustration that always comes when we talk. Coming back here was a mistake, I know that. But I didn’t have a choice. Mom needed to come back, and I’m stuck dealing with this town, with Hayes, with all the memories I tried to leave behind.

I glance at the photo of my dad and me on the dresser—the one I can never bring myself to put away.

I was 8 in the photo, with a big smile on my face as my dad held me. If he were here, maybe things would be different. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so lost all the time.

But he’s not here. It’s just me. And I have to figure this out on my own.

CHAPTER 10

IstandoutsideLance’shouse, staring at the flickering lights spilling from the windows and the noise of laughter mixed with music spilling into the night. Lance’s parents’ house is in the high end neighborhood, with all the houses luxurious and fancy. We may not be broke or poor, you know, since Mark’s a doctor and he’s doing well for himself, we don’t live in this side of town.

High school parties have never been my thing—just a tangled web of social dynamics I’d rather avoid. But here I am, reluctantly following Tripp's enthusiastic lead, Lance’s pressure and long speech about how he’ll be disappointed if I didn’t show up, and also this is part of the hockey team’s latest bonding exercise.

It’s been a week since I joined the team, and I’m going to say, Lance is the best thing that’s ever happened to the team. He'slike the glue holding the team together even though Hayes is the captain. He’s just too nice. You can’t help but like him. He reminds me a lot about Seth.

“Come on, Dakota! Just a few hours! I can’t believe I’m the one dragging you to your team party!” Tripp insists, his eyes sparkling with excitement as we get down from my car.

Yes, it has finally been fixed.