Page 17 of Of Shadow and Moonlight

I pulled my foot up onto my stool, resting my elbow against my knee as I stared at the large pad of paper resting on my easel. My thumb pressed into my cheek and the palm of my hand covered my jaw.

In the portrait, Kat stared up through a window. Streaks of light leaked in through the curtains, casting rays down over her, illuminating sections of her face amidst the darkness of her surroundings. After months of working on the details, it still felt like it lacked something, but I’d yet to figure out what that was.

It would probably be best if I tried to sleep again, but the thought of lying in bed alone with my thoughts terrified me. I leaned forward, taking the stick of charcoal in my hands, adding more details to her hair. The moment I touched it to the paper there was a crash of trash cans outside the apartment, and I jumped, dropping the charcoal to the floor. My heart thumped wildly as I stared at the wall that separated me from whatever was outside.

The walls were suddenly caving in around me, adrenaline-fed hallucinations dancing in the corners of my eyes in the dark places of my living room. The weight of how alone I was in this apartment crawled over my skin. I glanced to my front door; it was locked.

Still, I felt the same. Unsafe.

My parents were asleep next door, but I couldn’t bring myself to bother them, let alone set foot outside my front door by myself to go. Damn that bastard. Marcus didn’t even know where I lived and yet he’d somehow managed to make me feel unsafe in my own home...

I rubbed most of the charcoal from my hands onto my shirt and leggings and snatched my phone from my desk. I couldn’t call Kat at this hour. What would I say?

Hey, just calling at two in the morning to have a casual conversation. Nothing strange about that.

She’d see through it and ask questions. I would have to tell her about Marcus, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I scrolled through my thin contact list in my phone. Damien’s name came across my screen and I stopped, my finger hovering over his name.

Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything.

His words clung to my mind. I shouldn’t call him this late. It wouldn’t be right, especially if he was asleep.

Maybe I could just text him, see if he’s awake. That would be harmless enough, right? Just a text; he probably wouldn’t even see it. His phone would likely be on silent at this hour. While a part of me hoped and prayed he’d respond, if he didn’t, that would be perfectly fine.

My fingers tapped across my screen as I texted him.

‘Hey. Just wanted to see if you’re awake. If you’re not, don’t worry. It’s not urgent.’

Sent.

I set the phone down on my desk, taking a deep breath. Did I really just text him this late at night over a noise outside? I was such an idiot.

You’re fine, Cas. It was probably just a raccoon or a stray cat. There’s no monsters outside you big baby.

I yelped when my phone suddenly vibrated on my desk, my ringtone going off. It hadn’t rested there but for a few seconds. I grabbed it.

Damien’s name flashed across my screen. Holy hell, he was calling me. Do I answer?

Dammit, Cas, answer the phone!

I pressed the screen and lifted it to my ear. My voice was hushed as I answered, wondering if it was a mistake that he’d called. “H-hello?”

“Is everything ok?”

I didn’t answer at first. What should I say?

No, everything’s not fine. I’m scared. I’m lonely. I’m on the edge of a breakdown. I don’t want to be alone right now. I want someone to distract me from the terrifying thoughts plaguing me.“Um…”

When I couldn’t form a response, he spoke. “Where are you?”

“I’m home.”

The line was quiet for a moment. “Areyouok?”

That question nearly unleashed the overwhelming emotions I’d been stifling up to this point, and my voice nearly cracked. “No…”

“Do you want me to come over?”

My heart leapt in my throat. Oh God I couldn’t believe I’d called him at this hour. He must have thought the worst. “Oh, you don’t have to do that. I feel bad enough waking you.”