Page 151 of Obsidian and Frost

I started. “He did? He took down that barrier?”

“Yes. He’s trusting me. He’s looking for guidance. He needs help, Sylas. He’s all alone in his grief, his lack of understanding about so much when it comes to personal matters and sentiment.”

Ah, fuck.She was equating his situation with mine.

“He needs comfort.”

“Yes. He really does.” She came to me and took my hands. “What he did to you… revealing your illness to Lazriel like that, it was wrong. I have no illusions about that. And knowing him, I’m sure it was partly intended as payback for you sending Lazriel to him. But I also felt his regret when he opened the Soul Brand to me. And confusion. He’s trying to understand what exactly he did wrong, he’s upset that he hurt you, and he’s insulted but not actually angry about your attack on him. In a twisted way, he actually respected it, to be honest.”

I shook my head. “He’s certainly a lot.”

“Believe me, I know. But so are we all, in our own ways.”

“Well, that’s certainly undeniable.” My gaze flicked to Lazriel and my regret over the position I’d put him in today slammed into me once again.

Velra drew me back to her with a squeeze of my hands. “He knows. And I know too.”

“Know what?”

“That it was an accident. That you didn’t mean to do that to him. It was a highly-charged and chaotic situation. You were already lost to rage and the need to punish when Lazriel arrived on the scene, and you were beyond stopping.”

“It still cost him. And when he wakes up no longer high and in the harsh light of day, it will hurt him. He lost control of his vampire side because of me. One of his fears.”

“I’m not so sure it will be as devastating as you think.” She shifted her weight. “Something happened when he was feeding from Cassius. For both of them. It could actually be a good thing if it’s approached carefully.” She gestured between us. “Lazriel can’t feed from either of us because our blood is toxic to him. The closer we grow, especially sexually, the more that need will be awakened from his vampire side. He’ll need it and he would have faced continued denial, unable to experience that, something that, despite his denial and fear over it, is innate to his vampiric nature. But with Cassius now in the picture, there’s the possibility for that to be fulfilled. So long as we can help him to maintain control with the potency of Cassius’ Immortal blood.”

“You’re saying Cassius can complete our unit from that standpoint?”

“That’s a little schmaltzy compared to the way I’d put it, but basically, yes,” she said, with a little laugh, trying to draw out the humor from all the rest.

“Yes, well, schmaltzy really isn’t my forte.”

She smiled. “I’d much rather the two of you stay with me in my room tonight, that all four of us do, but it’s too dangerous between Lazriel and Cassius right now. Cassius is weakened and unable to defend himself. And with the lingering animosity on your end toward him, it really wouldn’t be conducive to the whole comfort thing for him—or any of us.”

“You’re telling us we need to cool off for tonight while you get Cassius to the same headspace?”

“I am, yes.”

“I get it,” I said, reaching up and stroking her soft cheek, the coolness of her skin so soothing. “And I’m sorry. Not for kicking his ass, but for the burden of the fallout ending up on your shoulders.”

“I know you are. It’s okay. It doesn’t detract from what the three of us have been building. And, honestly, as brutal as it was, it did actually function as a wakeup call of sorts to Cassius.”

“Always focusing on the silver lining, huh?”

“I wasn’t. Not for years actually. But I’m trying to follow Lazriel’s example.‘The goal to life is happiness, right? To see and feel beyond the pain that’s afflicted us? It doesn’t just feel good, it sticks it to those who’ve harmed us and tried to keep us in that pained state.’”

I grinned. “For all his chaos and intensity, he’s got some wisdom, especially for a youngling.”

She kissed my cheek, then stepped back. “Get some rest. Maybe tomorrow we can finally get to dealing with the Death Sense spell? You can extract the signatures I read from the vampires protecting Lazriel and we can make some headway there, have you track them back to whoever their leader is, determine the actual source of the threat against Lazriel from there?”

It was all I could do not to tense at her words.

Time had already passed since I’d offered to take the lead there, because their discovery of my sickness had slowed progress, and the two of them had been worried about asking me for any magical assistance since.

“It could give Lazriel some peace of mind, give him something positive through all this of late,” she pushed, albeit carefully. “And then we can work on figuring out how my power can assist you through your sickness. If you’re ready to go there?”

“Yes, we’ll see to the Death Sense tracking so long as I’m well enough.”

“Of course,” she said, quickly. “Only if you’re up to it.”