Page 28 of Notice Me, Jameson Hart

As for me, I’m not even here. I’m back in Jameson’s car, replaying the entire night.

Not only the laughs—though there were a bunch—but the exact moment his arm came to rest between our seats.

I keep thinking about the way his face would do this little thing where he’d pretend to be stone-cold serious, then flinch into a smile like he couldn’t help himself.

I want to see that again, and I want to be the one to make it happen.

I notice Rita watching me from the corner of my eye. She holds my gaze for a second, eyebrow raised, then sends a barrage of heart emojis to my phone. I roll my eyes at her, but I’m smiling.

Soon, the boardwalk comes into view, the sound of distant carnival games mixing with the hum of cars and human noise.

The air smells of salt and fried dough and the promise of an everlasting summer.

For a split second, it’s like we’re kids again, about to win plastic prizes and stay up way too late because we’re hopped up on sugar.

The boardwalk is still busy despite the late hour. Families with sticky-faced kids, couples holding hands, groups of teenagers trying to act cooler than they are.

We park in the lot and pile out. Adam immediately heads for the walk-up window of the ice cream shop, the one with the weird sculpture of a melting sundae on top.

Robbie jogs ahead, Rita races after him, and I’m suddenly alone with my thoughts, trailing behind the people who make up my whole universe.

The rest of the gang joins us seconds later. We gather in line, and it suddenly hits me that this is the biggest group I’ve been a part of all summer.

It’s loud, chaotic, and perfect.

I catch Adam standing with his legs slightly apart, checking his phone with that furrow between his eyebrows that means he’s thinking too hard. The Stanford secret sits heavy in my chest. It’s been weeks since our conversation. Weeks since he promised to tell Robbie “when the time is right.”

I drift over to him and lower my voice so we won’t be overheard. “Hey. Have you talked to Robbie yet?”

Adam’s jaw tightens. “Not now, Kevin.”

“It’s been weeks. You said after practice started back up?—”

“I said not now.” His voice has that edge that used to scare me when we were kids.

“Adam, you promised. He deserves to know before?—”

“Kevin, I swear to God, if you don’t drop this…” He doesn’t finish the threat. He storms toward the counter even though we’re nowhere near the front of the line.

My stomach clenches. Everyone’s talking and laughing, while I’m standing under a spotlight of awkwardness.

“Everything okay?” Jameson walks up to me, concern written across his features. He must have caught the tense exchange.

“Yeah.” I force a smile. “Brother stuff.”

He nods slowly, understanding flickering in his eyes. “Ethan and I got into it last week because he borrowed my good headphones and left them at a friend’s house.” He shakes his head. “I may have overreacted. Slightly.”

I narrow my eyes playfully. “How slightly?”

“I hid all his phone chargers.” He grins sheepishly. “He had to borrow them from friends for three days before I caved and gave them back.”

Despite everything, I laugh. “That’s evil.”

“Brothers bring out the worst in us sometimes.” His voice goes softer. “But also the best. Ethan biked forty minutes to return those headphones when he realized how much they meant to me.”

I glance at Adam, who’s now pretending to study the flavor list with intense concentration. “Yeah. I guess they do.”

“Whatever it is,” Jameson says, “it’ll work out.

Brothers can’t stay mad at each other forever.

Trust me, I’ve tried. There was this one time, when Ethan was twelve, he told our mom I was the one who broke her favorite vase.

I was grounded for two weeks.” He shudders at the memory.

“I retaliated by putting blue food coloring in his body wash.”

“Did he turn blue?”

“Like a Smurf. For three days. Mom made me pay for the special removal treatment.” He bumps my shoulder gently. “The point is, we survived. You guys will too.”

The line moves forward, and before I know it, we’re at the counter. I order a mint chocolate chip to switch things up. Jameson gets rainbow sherbet, and I wonder if it’s because, like him, it’s more complex than it first appears.

Adam’s still giving me the silent treatment as we sit on the benches with our ice cream. He got vanilla. Robbie’s attacking something with three different toppings, and it’s already dripping down his hand.

“This is amazing,” Rita moans around a spoonful of strawberry. “Worth every weight-gaining consequence.”

“Indeed,” Ethan says, already halfway through his orange sherbet cone.

Matthew rates our choices, declaring Tyler’s butter pecan “an old man flavor” and Robbie’s monstrosity “an affront to ice cream everywhere.”

I let their voices wash over me, trying to enjoy the moment despite the tension with Adam. The boardwalk stretches out in both directions, alight with fun. The ocean whispers somewhere in the darkness beyond.

“Want to walk?” Jameson asks quietly, nodding toward the pier.

I glance at the group. Rita is the only one who catches my eye. She makes a shooing motion with her free hand.

“Sure,” I say.

We drift away from the others and follow the weathered boards toward where the pier juts out into the Atlantic. Other couples— are we a couple? Is that what this is? —lean against the railings, stealing kisses between ice cream licks.

“So,” Jameson says as we find an empty spot, “ Annie choreography, running away to be a governess, and now brother drama. You’re giving me the full Kevin Pryor experience tonight.”

“Lucky you,” I mutter, then immediately worry that it sounds bitter.

But he smiles. “Yeah. Lucky me.”

The words hang between us, heavy with possibility.

I focus on my ice cream, but I can sense him watching me.

A gentle breeze sweeps in from the ocean.

It makes the strands of hair dangling over his forehead flutter.

A chill runs up my back, but I can’t tell if the answering shiver is from that, the ice cream, or the proximity to Jameson Hart.

“Can I ask you something?” I say.

“Shoot.”

“Those books. The ones you bought at Pages & Prose.” I keep my eyes on the dark water that reflects the full moon and the galaxy of twinkling stars. “Did you ever give them to Ethan?”

Silence. Then, quietly, “No.”

My heart spins violently in my chest. “Why not?”

“Because they weren’t for him.” His voice is barely audible over the nightlife. “I saw you go into the bookstore and followed you in. Made up the whole thing about Ethan because I wanted an excuse to talk to you.”

I turn to gawk at him. He’s staring at his ice cream as though he doesn’t know how it’s half gone already.

“I’ve been reading them,” he continues. “ Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. Cemetery Boys. Even went back to get The Fault in Our Stars . They’re all good.”

“Yeah?” My voice comes out strangled, and I take a bite of ice cream to soothe the burn of excitement and the possibility of something amazing making its way up my throat.

“Yeah.” He meets my eyes. “They’re helping me figure some things out.”

The pier suddenly feels very small, like we’re on an island separate from the rest of the world. My mint chocolate chip is melting, dripping onto my hand, but I can’t move.

“Jameson—”

“I know this is probably weird,” he rushes on. “And I know we have different interests, and you probably think I’m some dumb jock who can’t dance?—”

“I don’t think that.” The words fall out, urgent and true.

“I think you’re smart and funny and kind to your brother.

I think it’s surprising that you’re terrible at video games and sweet that you cry at dog movies and adorable that you secretly love British baking shows.

I think you’re complex and interesting, and I’m really enjoying getting to know you. ”

Even in the darkness, I see the blush spread across his sun-kissed skin. He ducks his head, then peers up at me through impossibly long lashes.

“I appreciate that,” he says softly. “All of it. It means a lot.”

He takes a step closer, and my breath catches in my throat. My heart isn’t beating anymore—it’s doing the conga, with maracas and everything. The space between us shrinks to nothing, and he’s so close I can smell the rainbow sherbet on his breath, see the way his eyes flicker down to my lips.

Oh my god. This is it. This is the moment . Jameson Hart is going to kiss me right here on the boardwalk with the ocean and the stars as our witnesses. My toes curl inside my sandals, as eager for the moment as the rest of me.

His hand comes up, and I close my eyes, ready for the touch of his lips. But instead, I get the gentle press of his thumb at the corner of my mouth, warm and careful.

“You had some ice cream there,” he murmurs, his voice low and amused.

My eyes fly open to find him grinning at me, thumb still resting against my skin. Every nerve ending in my body explodes as a nervous chuckle escapes me. “Oh. Thanks.”

“Hey, guys!” Matthew’s voice shatters the moment at the worst possible moment. “We’re going swimming!”

I peer around Jameson to see our entire group standing at the edge of the beach, silhouetted against the boardwalk lights.

“Swimming?” I squeak. “We don’t have bathing suits.”

“That’s the point!” Robbie shouts, wiggling his hips. “Night swimming in our clothes! It’s a classic summer move!”

“Come on,” Rita calls out gleefully.

Tyler’s already kicked off his shoes, and Ethan’s bouncing on his heels with excitement. Even Adam, despite our earlier tension, has a small smile on his face.

“This is such a bad idea,” I mutter, but Jameson’s already moving toward the group.

“Probably,” he agrees. “But sometimes bad ideas make the best memories.”