Page 18

I’m not shocked to find the big house loud and chaotic when I arrive for family dinner.

The ranch has been in my family for generations, but my grandparents were only able to have one child—my dad.

After they passed, my dad was the only blood relative left of the Jenningses, but he wasn’t the only family.

Over the years, he and my mom have been collecting people and sewing them into the patchwork quilt that is this family.

The big house is an oversized log cabin, sprawling over three thousand square feet.

My parents always said with two boys and a little girl, each one wilder than the two of them combined, they needed space to breathe.

They built the new big house when Cooper and I were four or five, and I have distinct memories of Dad letting us nail boards into place and write our names on the walls before they painted over them.

This house is as much a part of our family as the people in it.

I make my way into the living room and see Cooper first. He nods in my direction, so I make a beeline for him, wiping my sweating palms on my jeans.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dad talking to Willow, Ruby’s mom, and her husband, Jesse.

They look deep in conversation, and I’m thankful for it, because I don’t want my dad cornering me.

Cheyenne is chasing one of Morgan’s boys around, and Morgan is nowhere to be found.

Mom is definitely in the kitchen, finishing dinner, and I’d bet my last dollar that Jade’s parents are in there too.

I think I’m in the clear. Tonight, I have to tell my family that I got my wife pregnant. Not all that crazy under normal circumstances, but these circumstances are anything but normal. And I’m not ready to face the music just yet.

I remember when Cooper told the family about Ruby. He wasn’t nervous at all to tell everyone that he was having a baby with a stranger. He knew that even if they were shocked at first, they’d be thrilled. And internally, I know that too.

But that doesn’t make me less nervous, especially since I’ll be sharing the news without Elsie here with me. Not having her here feels like I’m missing a vital part of myself, the way people who have lost a limb say that they sometimes still feel phantom pains in the spot it once was.

“You look like you could use this,” Cooper says, handing me his beer and pulling me from my thoughts as I reach him. I take it gratefully, the cold, sweating glass bottle a balm against my overheated palms. There’s a headache building at the base of my skull and sweat prickling beneath my shirt.

I take a long gulp, welcoming the bitter flavor against my scratchy throat. “That obvious?”

He grins, eyes assessing me, and I swear I see a flicker of concern there. “Not to everyone.”

“Just to you?” I ask before taking another sip, practically downing the rest of the bottle.

His smile stretches. “Just to anyone who shares our blood.”

To prove his point, Cheyenne sidles up next to me, her blue eyes narrow. Her dark brown hair, the same color as mine and Cooper’s, falls in tangles down her back, just like it always does. “What’s wrong?”

I let out a sigh and push a hand through my hair, avoiding her gaze. “Nothing.”

She steps closer—she’s never been one for personal space. I can smell her floral and honey perfume, the same scent she’s worn since high school, something she picked out at the mall in Bozeman and still dutifully purchases ten years later. “You’re lying. Spill.”

Cooper laughs, drawing Cheyenne’s stare away from me, allowing me to take a full breath.

“Do you know?”

Before he gets a chance to respond, someone asks, “Know what?”

I turn to see Morgan joining our group. He’s dressed in worn jeans and one of the plain short-sleeve T-shirts he wears year round, like the cold has no effect on him.

The gel I know he haphazardly ran through his dark blond hair is barely holding it in check, the thick waves fighting to break through.

Cooper fixes me with a look, one that I can easily read. He thinks I should go ahead and tell them, and I let out a long breath, knowing he’s probably right. I’d planned to pull Morgan aside and tell him before dinner, but Cheyenne will never forgive me if she finds out with the rest of the family.

I look at them each in the eye, taking them in.

My twin, who looks the same as me, dark hair and dark eyes, except no mustache and a five o’clock shadow that never seems to grow any longer.

My younger sister, tall, wild, carefree.

Morgan, a calm, steady presence that I swear he inherited from my father even though he isn’t related to us.

They’ve always been there, no matter what, and I know this time will be no different.

“Elsie’s pregnant.”

Cheyenne’s eyes blow comically wide, her mouth falling open, and a ball of chewed-up gum rolls out. “Seriously?”

Cooper snorts and picks up her gum, dropping it into the neck of the bottle I’m only now realizing I’ve emptied. “No, he’s making it up.”

She swivels to face him and smacks his arm. “Shut up. This is serious.”

Morgan’s eyes connect with mine, and I notice a small smile playing on his face. He looks both genuinely happy for me and amused at my siblings’ antics. “Congrats, Beau. You’re going to be a great dad.”

Some of the nerves in my stomach calm at his words.

Morgan is a dad as well. He has two rambunctious boys who constantly keep him on his toes.

I’ve leaned on him a lot over the last few months because, although our situations are very different, he’s been in a difficult marriage before too.

Shortly after the birth of his second child, Ryder, who is now two, he found out his wife had been cheating on him for a year, and he wasn’t even sure whether Ryder was his.

She left him for the other man, and after confirming his paternity, Morgan was able to get partial custody of both Ryder and Cash.

I give him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Morgan.”

Cheyenne turns back to me, eyes alight with a familiar temper that has been getting her in trouble since she could talk. “I better not have been the only one who didn’t know.”

“No,” I say with a shake of my head. “I only told Coop because he was annoying me.”

She nods sagely, because we both understand how he can be.

“What are we talking about?” Dad asks, entering the conversation.

I almost jump out of my skin at the intrusion. I can feel my heart in my throat and my face flushing, so I look down at the scarred, knotted wood floor, hoping he doesn’t notice.

Before I can think of a way to change the subject, Mom yells out from the dining room.

“Dinner’s ready!”

Thank God.

I’m the first to leave the group, hoping to get into the dining room and snag a seat before anyone else asks questions.

It’s not until I get in there that I notice Jade is absent.

I wonder where she is, since she rarely misses dinner at the big house.

Across the long dining table, her parents, Wyatt and Tessa, settle into their chairs near Mom and Dad.

I’m about to take my seat when a chubby toddler bounds into my legs, wrapping me in arms that are surprisingly strong for how little they are.

A smile creeps up onto my face without trying, and I bend down to pick up Ryder.

His blond hair is messy and he has what looks like jam on his face.

I imagine it came from Mom. She no doubt slipped him a spoonful in the kitchen while she finished up dinner.

“Hey, Ryder. How you doing, buddy?”

He gives me a broad smile, gaps between his baby teeth. His breath smells like sugar. “Hi, Uncle Beau.”

His little voice soothes the last vestiges of nerves inside me.

No one in my family could be upset about having another perfect little human like this in the family.

It’s not even that I thought they would be upset.

My only worry stemmed from the conversation I had with Cooper in the stables the other day, when he said he was going to look out for me if no one else would.

My family loves Elsie, and nothing could change that, not even her asking me to leave.

They may be as in the dark about her reasons as I am, but she’s a Jennings too, and nothing could make them stop seeing her that way.

I only wish Elsie knew that. I wish that she was here to see how excited they will be for us. That phantom limb feeling returns, and I look at the empty seat next to me, the one no one has filled for months, awaiting her return.

I tear my gaze from the empty chair, shaking away the grief that’s starting to burrow into me, and focus my attention on the little boy in my arms. The one wearing dirty cowboy boots that are sure to leave muddy marks on my favorite jeans. I can’t even bring myself to care.

Leaning forward to whisper in Ryder’s ear, I ask, “Can you keep a secret?”

His already huge smile grows even larger, and he nods excitedly. He’s absentmindedly toying with the collar of my shirt, and every little brush of his fingers makes the warmth inside me grow. “Mm-hmm.”

“Auntie Elsie is going to have a baby,” I tell him, keeping my voice low. It doesn’t feel like a confession. It feels like a promise.

His eyes widen, the same blue-green color as his dad’s. “Really?”

I nod and press a kiss to his sticky cheek. “Sure is, bud. You’re going to have another cousin.”

And then, to my complete horror, Ryder turns away from me and screams to the entire table, “Auntie Elsie is having a baby!”

Eleven sets of eyes settle on me, and to the little boy in my arms, I say, “We need to work on what the concept of a secret is, Ryder.”

Everyone takes the news as expected. Mom and Dad are thrilled. Willow tells me that she’s still got all of Ruby’s baby stuff in her attic and that she will make Jesse get it down for us if we want it. The Dawsons give me warm smiles and congratulations.