Page 76 of No More Secrets
That’s the second time he’s said that to her.
She puts down the burger and wipes her mouth. “Who?”
His nostrils flare. “Lily, my sister. Though I guess she goes by Jenna Mason now.”
Shiloh’s mouth falls open. One beat, two. Then she smacks the table. “I knew it.” She points a finger at him. “Knew it, knew it, knew it.”
“Shush.” He bounces his hand for her to lower her voice as he looks around.
“Omigosh,” she loudly whispers, clapping her cheeks. “Jenna Mason is your sister. That is sick. You have to introduce us. I want to meet her. I have so many questions.”
Lucas is shaking his head, and he looks kind of sad.
Her hands flop into her lap. “What?” Then she remembers the article she read, the one she told him about. Jenna Mason hasn’t seen her brother since she ran away fourteen years ago. Her chest deflates. “Why haven’t you called her? It’s been so long. Don’t you want to see her?”
“Every day.” He absently scratches a fingernail on the table.
“Then call her.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
He scowls at her.
“You’re scared.”
“By all means, beat around the bush. Subtlety is not one of your strong suits.”
She shrugs. “When I want something, I go for it.” And right now she wants to talk about his sister.
“I envy that about you.” He pulls out his wallet, inching toward the seat edge, but Shiloh isn’t ready to go. This is Jenna Mason they’retalking about, her idol. And she senses something terrible must have happened between them. But the article she read left her with the impression Jenna misses her brother, too.
“I’m scared,” she admits. Lucas stops fiddling with his wallet and looks up at her. “I’m scared to go home. I know I need to. Eventually. It really hurt when my mom didn’t believe me, but it doesn’t mean I never want to see her again.”
Lucas leaves the wallet on the table and leans back. His face slackens and his mouth parts. His shoulders drop, and his hands fall listlessly into his lap, and what Shiloh witnesses is a man who’s been carrying a lifetime of regret and guilt and shame finally set down his burden at his feet. “I was there the night my sister ran away. I saw everything. My dad, the gun, Wes. I was living in the apartment above my parents’ garage, and Lily was shouting for me to come help. It was foggy. I knew she couldn’t see me, but I was already there. Watching. I didn’t help her.”
“Why not?”
He shrugs. “Don’t know. No... I do. I’ve been telling myself I didn’t care. I was still hating on myself and the world, you know, because of juvie. But really, I was scared.”
He visibly swallows, and she can tell it was difficult for him to admit. But it still doesn’t explain why he hasn’t reached out to her. Unless...
“You’re still afraid.”
His eyes snap to hers.
“Of Jenna. Lily to you. You’re afraid of what she’ll say if she finds out you were there.” His mouth pulls into a taut line. “You have to tell her, and you have to apologize.”
“Uh-uh.” He shakes his head hard. “Won’t change anything.” She suspects he thinks the truth will make things worse between them. But it might ease his guilt.
“You don’t know that.”
He doesn’t say anything.
“I hate that my mom didn’t believe me about Ellis. But I miss her, and I’d forgive her in a heartbeat if she apologized.”
“Thanks for the pep talk, Dr.Bloom.” Shiloh snorts, and his face sobers. “This is different. She lived a life on the run because of me. I didn’t stop her or go after her. She won’t forgive me,” he admits in a low voice.
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