Page 38 of No Match for Love (Regency Love Stories)

Lucas did not return to the study, where he’d been overviewing some of the arguments that Parliament would be holding that week.

Instead he went straight out the door, his blood pumping in his ears as if he were mid-fight.

He was halfway to Colin’s club before recalling that he was still dressed as a gentleman.

Silently cursing himself, he had the carriage stop and directed the coachman to Henry’s home instead.

Usually, if in need of advice, Lucas would go to James.

Much as Lucas appreciated Henry and his friendship, he was not the levelheaded individual one usually sought for counsel.

But right now, Lucas wanted someone else to talk so that he did not have to. He needed a distraction. And Henry was far more suited to that task than James was. He needed someone to distract him from the problem he’d created.

Lucas arrived at Henry’s townhome but was shocked to be told by the butler that no Sir Henry lived at that location any longer. The home had been rented.

Rented? Henry had mentioned no such thing, not that Lucas saw him regularly any longer, but still, a change in lodgings seemed something a friend ought to know about.

He supposed that was just one more way in which he was failing lately.

He was struggling to keep his emotions in check, he had led his brother to something that could have killed him, and now he was even neglecting his friends.

Lucas stood on the steps to the townhome in which Henry no longer resided and stared aimlessly down the street.

What was he to do now? He could not go to Colin’s club.

He could not visit his friends. He certainly could not return home, not with Miss Faraday now living there.

He flexed his hands and paced back to the carriage.

He was grateful—immensely so—that his parents had so quickly taken up Miss Faraday’s cause and brought her into their home, but what he’d not realized in his attempts to protect her was that he was doing a very poor job of protecting himself .

Seeing her in his drawing room and knowing that she was there permanently did something to his brain.

The fact that they could have breakfast together, evenings, even bump into one another outside their rooms?

It was more than he could bear. More emotions than he could keep at bay.

There were no other options, so he instructed his driver to take the longest possible route home, and then he retreated back inside the carriage to stare at the upholstery and try to realign the internal workings of his mind because their current configuration needed a great deal of help.

***

Lucas sat in the corner of his family’s drawing room, paper raised to cover his face, but nothing available to mute the sounds from his ears.

Miss Faraday had been in his family’s home for three days now, and he’d managed to avoid seeing her entirely.

His parents had even escorted her to a ball, and Lucas had been able to find an excuse not to join them.

The idea that she now slept only a few doors from him, that she took her meals with them and joined them on outings, was proving difficult for him to manage.

Lucas did not regret for a moment offering her safety in his home, but he rather wished he could offer himself safety elsewhere.

This forced proximity was near killing him.

He was not sure he could manage to be a friend to her any longer, not when he barely seemed to be holding himself and his conflicting feelings together.

He was beginning to believe he truly wanted—and could not have—more.

He’d dropped the act—which was not hard, as he’d not been doing much—of trying to find a wife.

It was an added burden he could not deal with now.

Soon. Soon he would try again, but for now, he needed to fix something about his situation and the emotions spiraling from his control.

Three days. He ought to have managed to come to terms with the fact that this woman was now staying with them, but he had not. Instead, he sat at the edge of the family’s gathering, pretending to read the news.

“You are truly terrible at cards, Miss Faraday,” Charlie declared, laughing.

“Charles, that is no way to treat our guest,” Mother reprimanded, though there seemed to be a smile in her voice as well.

“I do not know, Lady Cheltenham,” Miss Faraday said. “It is not as if he is wrong.”

Lucas’s lips quirked at that. He lifted the paper higher.

Father laughed, and Charlie said, “See! Honesty, Mother. Do you not wish me to treat our guests with honesty?”

Mother tsked good-naturedly, and the conversation ceased but for the occasional groan or exclamation regarding the cards being played in their game of whist. Charlie needled Miss Faraday over her card playing several more times, to which Miss Faraday responded with wit. They fought like brother and sister.

His stomach drooped at that. He did not need reminders of Marietta when he was already so emotionally volatile.

“Lucas, would you like a turn?” Mother asked, forcing Lucas to put down the paper just enough to see her watching him expectantly while Miss Faraday collected the cards.

“No, thank you though. You all enjoy your game.”

Mother gave him an inquisitive look, but he pulled the paper back into place so he would not have to respond to it. The group resumed its playing, and Lucas tried to ignore them. It was fairly easy until Mother declared a desire to read, and Father claimed the spot next to Lucas.

“Is that today’s paper?” his father asked.

Lucas nodded.

“Do they mention the Stamp Duties act?”

Lucas froze. He’d not read a bit. “I have not come to it yet.”

“May I see?”

Lucas handed over his shield, which left him with an unimpeded view of Charlie and Miss Faraday. Charlie had a bandage around his head and was reclined in a chair, regaling Miss Faraday with some sort of tale. A ghost of a smile hovered about her lips as she listened to him.

“And then—I swear to you this is truth, on my honor—then he slipped, losing his pastry and colliding with not two, not three, but four elderly women. We had to call a physician out to the ice to care for him. He is a good chap, but I tell you, he has two left feet.”

Miss Faraday chuckled. “It sounds marvelous. I wish I had been in London in time to see it.”

Charlie’s eyes were wide. “I wish you had too. An entire city on the ice—the stuff of fairy tales!”

Miss Faraday glanced up, catching Lucas’s eye in that moment. Something flashed in the depths of hers. It drew him in and scared him all at once. “Did you attend the frost fair, Lord Berkeley?”

Lucas did not have the time to answer before Charlie did so for him. “No. Lucas remained home. He is not one for festivities.”

Miss Faraday cocked her head at him, and Lucas wished he could have gone back and attended the event so that he might regale her with his own tales. Except he would not have because he was keeping to himself for the evening. And the rest of the Season, if he could manage it.

“As Charlie says, I did not attend.”

She nodded, and he nearly teased her over the action but wisely kept his mouth closed.

Charlie pulled her back into conversation, but she glanced at Lucas a time or two more before becoming fully engrossed in whatever they were speaking of.

He caught snatches of the topic. Something about America, boats, and horses.

It was not until they began talking about Society that Lucas attended fully to their words.

His mother had rejoined the conversation.

“When I marry,” Charlie was saying, “and, Mother, please note I said when . It will happen eventually, so you can stop worrying.”

Mother shook her head. “Become a parent and tell me it is possible to stop worrying. Why, you boys are both past twenty years, yet I still worry that you are not eating enough and getting enough rest.”

“I will always take more food and more sleep, Mother, but when I marry, I intend to secure my own lodgings.”

“We have room enough here,” Mother said.

“Yes, yes, but I think I should like a little more freedom...”

“I do see the appeal of freedom, I suppose,” Mother said. “But perhaps you could live nearby?” She spoke with equal parts humor and request.

Charlie just laughed.

“Freedom will always be appealing, will it not?” Miss Faraday added. To some, it might seem that she was just joining the conversation, but Lucas knew the struggle she had with her guardian. To her, freedom would be monumental.

“What would you do if given an excess of freedom?” Charlie asked, lounging back in his seat.

Miss Faraday’s face pinched in thought. “Whatever I wanted, I suppose. Set up a home in a quiet little town. Work, maybe—”

Charlie barked a laugh. “No wife of mine will ever work, that is for sure.”

Lucas sat forward at that, seeing the way Miss Faraday’s wistful expression had dimmed. “You do not own your wife, Charlie,” he said.

“Hear, hear,” Father said from beside Lucas.

Lucas’s mother smiled at her husband then turned to Charlie. “Your brother is right.”

“Well, I did not mean she could not if she wished it. Only, well, that she would not need to,” Charlie said, attempting to retract his words.

Lucas looked at Miss Faraday. She was already watching him. A smile lit her lips. He returned it before he remembered himself and tore his eyes away.

Eventually, Father gave back the newspaper and bid them all goodnight, and not long after, Mother stood and stretched, silently indicating to them all that it was time to retire.

They all filed from the room, making their way up the stairs.

Charlie gravitated to Miss Faraday’s side, but their mother called him to escort her, saying she wished to discuss his recovery.

Lucas knew his duty, and though he was not thrilled to do so—or so he schooled his mind into thinking—he offered Miss Faraday his arm.

“How are your arms?” she asked.