Page 36 of Nightshade

STILWELL LEFT THE island with Tash on Sunday afternoon. They took the Express. Checking before they left, he was informed that Oscar Terranova’s whereabouts remained unknown. With Baby Head at large, Stilwell believed it was safer for Tash to be off island with him. They would stay at a mainland resort and try as best they could to forget the events of the past two days. Stilwell also planned to show up at the behavioral science unit first thing Monday to try to get in for his psychological evaluation and a quick turnaround on his return-to-duty process.

Stilwell had been relieved of duty, but he was not planning to stop forward momentum on his investigations. There were leads to follow on the mainland and he was going to make good use of his time. He decided to splurge for Tash, and they checked into a suite at the Huntington in Pasadena. Staying there had several benefits. It was a luxury resort located far from the crowded city Tash so disliked, and it had a spa and easy access to the Huntington Gardens, which he believed Tash would love and where she could spend time while he went about his work. It was also a straight shot on the freeway from Pasadena into downtown, where he would need to go for his psych eval and casework. And finally, the last address the DMV had for Daniel Easterbrook was in Pasadena. Interviewing Easterbrook was first on his list of priorities on the mainland, and Stilwell believed that talking to him about Leigh-Anne Moss at his home was preferable to interrupting him at his downtown law firm. He wanted to confront Easterbrook when his guard was down, and there was no better way to do that than to knock unexpectedly on his front door.

But his plans went awry soon after he and Tash checked into their two-room suite and unpacked their bags. Stilwell looked up from his laptop after connecting to the hotel’s Wi-Fi and saw Tash pacing in the suite’s living room, arms folded tightly across her chest. It was a clear signal that this would not be a relaxing getaway for Tash and that she might have been more traumatized by the events of the weekend than she had let on. Stilwell knew that was on him. It was his relationship with her that had drawn her into Oscar Terranova’s crosshairs.

“Do you think you want to talk to somebody while we’re over here?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” she replied.

“Well, I have to go in and talk to the shrinks. You know, standard procedure and all of that. But when I’ve had to do it in the past, it’s kind of helped—talking about it with a professional. I might be able to get you in to—”

“I don’t want to talk to anybody. Especially a sheriff’s shrink.”

Her words were clipped. Her tone indicated that the subject was not up for debate. He wanted to tell her that keeping the trauma of what had happened bottled up inside could create difficulties down the line, but her answer had been so decisive that he let it go.

“I’m okay, Stil,” she said. “I mean it. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I know you’re strong,” he said. “I just thought maybe you’d want to. That’s all.”

“Thanks, but no, thanks.”

“Okay, cool.”

“What I want is to go home. Be in my own space. This was a mistake.”

There it was, the undercurrent coming to the surface.

“Tash, we just got here,” Stilwell said. “Why don’t we just see what happens for a couple days? You know, relax, check out the spa… wait and see if they pick up Terranova and—”

“No,” Tash said. “You said it was unlikely he would come after me now.”

“I know. That’s true. But why take a chance? Look at this place. It’s like a vacation. How ’bout we just stay—”

“I don’t like it here. I feel safer at home.”

“Okay, okay, but there’s no way we can get back to Long Beach today to get the last ferry. So let’s just sleep on it, and in the morning if you feel the same way, we can talk about going back over.”

She stopped pacing. “You’re not listening. I’m not going to change my mind. This whole thing was a mistake. I want to go back.” She started pacing again.

“Okay, we’ll go back,” Stilwell said. “But I don’t want you going back alone, and I’ve got to go down to BSU first thing. You can try to sleep in and I’ll hopefully get in for my evaluation, then come back and we’ll check out. How’s that?”

“Whatever,” Tash said. “I wish we could just go tonight.”

Stilwell checked his watch.

“Well, we can’t,” he said. “The last ferry leaves in twenty minutes and we’re an hour away. That’s why I picked this place. It’s away from everything and it’s safe. Also…”

“Also what?” she asked.

Stilwell wasn’t sure how this next part would go.

“There was an interview I was going to do over here tomorrow,” he said. “If we’re leaving, I should probably try to get it done tonight.”

“What interview?” Tash asked.

“It’s on my other case. A guy who knew Leigh-Anne lives here. I could run over there now and—”

“Wait, he’s here in Pasadena?”

“Yeah, I think about ten minutes from here. I was about to look it up. I’d be quick. Maybe we could order dinner when I get back.”

“This whole thing, is that why we’re here? So you can do your interview?”

“No, not at all. I mean, I knew it was close, but this place is—”

“Don’t bother.” Now she looked angry as well as agitated. “Your work always comes first. That’s why I got caught up in this shit and why some gangster wants to kill me.”

“Whoa, wait, hold on a second.”

Stilwell closed his laptop and got up from the room’s little desk. He walked toward her but she held both hands up to keep him away. He stopped.

“Tash, what’s going on?” he asked.

“What’s going on is that my life has suddenly changed and I don’t like it,” she said. “I don’t want it. As long as that guy is out there, I have to look over my shoulder. And you don’t seem to care. You’re on to the next interview and the next case.”

“That’s not true. Come on. First of all, you don’t have to look over your shoulder. There’s no chance he’s coming after you. He’s on the run, Tash. He’s out there hiding, and going after you makes zero sense. Why would he do it? Before, he needed you to get to me. That doesn’t work anymore.”

“Then, if I’m so safe, why did you take me off the island?”

“Because I thought it would be good for us to get away and be together. And, yes, I have to do things over here. I have to see the shrink before I can go back to work. I told you that.”

“And you have to do your interview. What else?”

“I still have my job, Tash.”

“You’re relieved of duty.”

“I know that, but it’s temporary. And things don’t just stop because I’m off duty.”

“I’m never going to be first with you, am I?”

“What are you talking about? Of course you are.”

She walked into the bedroom and opened the closet. Stilwell followed and watched as she pulled out her suitcase and swung it up onto the bed. She started to open its zipper.

“I just want to go back,” she said. “I want to go home.”

“Tash, we can’t,” Stilwell said. “Not tonight.”

“Well, I’m packing anyway.”

Stilwell stepped over and put his hand on the suitcase so she couldn’t open it.

“It can wait till tomorrow, Tash,” he said.

“I want to do it now,” Tash said. “Why don’t you just do your work. Go do your interview. I want to be alone for a while. Since it’s so safe here.”

The sarcasm in that last line cut Stilwell to the heart.

“You are safe, Tash,” he said. “I don’t want you thinking different.”

“Fine,” she said. “Can I open my suitcase, please?”

Stilwell removed his hand.

“Look, just go,” Tash said. “Go do your thing. I really need to be by myself right now.”

Stilwell knew she needed space. He backed away from the bed.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll be quick and then we can talk about this again.”

“I’m tired of talking about it,” Tash said. “I just want to go back.”

Her face was turned away from him but she sounded sad. Stilwell nodded, not knowing whether she meant back to the island or back to the way things were before she knew him.

He headed toward the door.

“Please don’t be mad,” Tash said.

Stilwell stopped and turned to look at her.

“I’m not mad,” he said. “I’m worried about you. You’ve been through something pretty heavy and I want to take care of you. But you’re not letting me.”

“I appreciate that. Really. But I can take care of myself. I know what’s right for me.”

“I hope so. You know I love you.”

“I do. And I love you.”

He hesitantly approached her again. This time she didn’t put up her hands to stop him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her in the embrace for a long moment. He kissed the top of her head.

“I’m good, Stil,” she said. “You can go.”

“Okay, I’ll be back,” he said.

He released her and headed to the door.