Page 8

CHAPTER 8

Willow

I can’t do this. I can’t believe he’s even thinking of putting himself in this kind of danger. He doesn’t understand.

Tell him.

Lifting Eizlee Jane from her bed, I sit in the chair and slowly rock. Diesel nudges the door slightly open, sees me with her, and backs away. I knew he wouldn’t disturb nap time, and I need to think.

Ryrden is more dangerous than they know. He’s a drug broker and pusher. A killer. A rapist and sexual deviant. He has no conscience and the sweetest most sincere face and demeanor to reel the innocents in. No one can resist him or see through his facade. Until it’s too late.

What am I going to do? How can I tell them without exposing myself? If Diesel knew, he surely wouldn’t leave Eizlee Jane with me.

How many more people have to die?

I rock back and forth, lost in the past, fearful of the future. When my little one starts to stir, I change her then we make our way to the kitchen for her meal.

Diesel is at the counter working on his laptop and glances up. “I’ve got lunch ready. You can sit her in the highchair.”

He pours tomato soup into mugs and some of the same in a sippy cup, adding cold milk to make it the right temperature for her. Then pulls a tray of grilled cheese sandwiches from the oven and cuts Eizlee’s into eight small strips before giving her a tiny bowl of soup for dipping. She’s in her highchair smacking the tray crying, “Sticks, D. Wan’ sticks, D.”

He chuckles. “Got em’, baby girl.’

“Sticks?” I look at him. “Since Christmas she’s been asking for sticks. I couldn’t figure out what she wanted. We were both frustrated.”

“I made them for her while I was visiting. The wife of one of the guys on the team did this for their kid and that’s what they called them. I’m kind of surprised she remembered.”

“She’s a little sponge.”

“And a heart stealer.” He taps her nose. “Eat up so we can play.”

He turns to me. “You, too. After lunch we’re going on the roof. Diego said there are some chairs and a little grass area where she can get some fresh air and run around. Access is restricted, but he doesn’t want you going up without one of us.”

“So, you’re going through with this?”

“Yes. Willow, it’s an easy job. I just need photos for Raven. Then I’m out.”

“When?”

“In a couple days. The company I work for, HARDCORE Security, has an office in Maryland and one in Love Beach, South Carolina. They’re sending one of our guys to watch over you and Eizlee when I can’t be here. Diego is going to be backup for me on the street and we’ve got another agent who’s trying to get a job as a waiter at the club.”

We eat in silence. I can barely swallow. What am I going to do? Carl and Ryrden run their little scam like a tag team. Carl is the muscle and brute, Ryrden is ‘too nice to be real’. It didn’t take me long to piss Ryrden off. I knew I had to get out of there, I just waited too long.

They killed your friend.

“Eat, Willow. You’ve barely touched your food.” He covers my hand with his. “It’s going to be okay. Trust me.”

Shaking my head I glance up. “It’s dangerous. They’re dangerous. Don’t do it. Please.”

“I’m not letting him get away with this. He murdered my sister.”

“They’ll kill you too. Life means nothing to them.”

“I have to, Willow.”

Pushing from the counter, I stand. “I need a shower.”

After crying out my fear and frustration under the water spray, I go to my closet and the new clothes Raven brought. Two pair of jeggings, one black one beige. A lavender top with faint flowers along the scoop neck and another in soft yellow, white canvas sneakers and black ballet flats. Brushing my fingers over the last item I can’t help but smile. A Chinese red dress. I finger the soft fabric. I’ve always wanted a red dress. Mother always said I was too big to wear red.

All I’ve had for months is two sets of clothes and one extra shirt. That’s all that fits in my backpack. I’ve been mostly hand washing or putting my clothes in with Eizlee’s if I was babysitting. All the money I earned babysitting went to my burner phone, food, and my bus ticket fund.

I don’t know how he knew my size, but everything fits perfectly as I try them on. I settle on the yellow top and beige leggings. Having something new and pretty feels like such a luxury.

There’s a tap on my door.

“I packed snacks and some toys to take to the roof. I’ve changed and dressed Eizlee Jane in the outfit you laid out. We’re ready when you are.”

When I return to the living room, he’s playing with Eizlee on the floor. He runs a heated gaze over me. “My girls match. I like you both in yellow.”

My girls. I shake my head. I need to leave soon. I can’t endanger them, and I will if Diesel sticks to his plan. Not to mention the danger my heart is in. I already love Eizlee like my own, now her uncle is threatening my heart as well.

The fresh air feels good. Relaxing on a lawn chair with my juice as instructed, I watch as Diesel chases Eizlee around on the astro turf then holds her hands as he teaches her to kick the ball.

After a while she’s content to sit and play with the blocks and he settles into the chair beside me.

“It’s nice up here. Feels relaxing. It’s not a park with real grass and dirt but it is sunshine and fresh air. It will do in a pinch,” he says. “I just moved to Love Beach. It’s a nice town on the southeastern coast. Busier in the summers I’ve been told but not as bad as some places on the coast. I haven’t gotten a place yet and have been crashing with Silk, one of the other single guys, while I was going through orientation.”

Taking a drink, he glances at me. “Are you from here? You ever been to the east coast?”

I shake my head. “No and no. I grew up in the Midwest. A really small town, farming and cattle. I was related somehow to half the people in town. Everyone knew everyone, and their business. And everyone in town had one way of doing things. Their way.”

“And that was a problem?” he asks softly, when I don’t continue.

Releasing a sigh, I lean back in the chase lounge. “My mom and dad met in college. Both came from small towns. They moved back to Dad’s hometown to help Gramps with the farm when Dad’s older brother died. Dad didn’t want to farm but he was kind of stuck because that’s what families did.

“I have two older brothers who took to farming like ducks to water. I liked going to town, seeing more than cows. Dance and art were my passion.

“I guess things were okay for my parents for about fifteen years. There was a new English teacher who moved to town. She also did dance club at school and taught dance out of her home. I begged to take lessons. Mom was too busy with all her church and ladies’ clubs, so Dad always took me to my classes then we’d go to the coffee shop or ice cream parlor, sometimes my teacher would join us. Somewhere along the line the two of them started an affair. Mom and Dad divorced. Dad moved to town but still worked the farm until my brothers were able to take it over completely.

“And the town talked, and talked, and people took sides, and judged. It was hard for my Dad, but he never shirked his responsibilities to the family.

“When I got to high school, I tried out for dance club and made it. I was bigger than all the other girls, but because my stepmom taught me, I could really dance. Not just preen around. A lot of parents were upset that I got on the team instead of one of their little girls. Favoritism by the slut .”

“Why do you say that?” His brow furrows. “You’re beautiful. You look like a woman, a real woman, not some plastic, starving doll. Fuck, I hate how marketing and the media have made women afraid to be themselves. Do you think men really want to cuddle up with a chicken bone?”

He shakes his head and looks toward our little charge. “Given the circumstances, I should keep my mouth shut. I’m here to protect you, not hit on you. But you are so fucking gorgeous.”

I stare at him in disbelief. I have never once been told I’m beautiful or gorgeous. I’ve gotten the ‘nice eyes’ and ‘pretty hair’. But Diesel just said both.

“Tell me you didn’t quit the dance club?” he asks.

“No, I love to dance, and I wouldn’t give it up. I was close to my stepmom. More so than my mother who was more repressed. Mom was obsessed with being perfect, so the town didn’t talk about her. But she loved it when they badmouthed Dad.

“Senior year, I was dating a guy. His dad owned the feed lot. They were a big deal in town.” I feel the heat flood my face, but I’m tired of trying to be what I’m not. “We-ah-were caught having sex in his car.

“And the town talked, and talked, and people took sides.

“He skated by with a ‘boys will be boys’, and I was just like my cheating father. Of course that sent my mother over the edge. Again. We haven’t really talked since, except for her to criticize.

“As soon as I graduated, I moved to Chicago. My dad and stepmom moved as well and are happy in Florida.

“I worked and took dance classes in Chicago, got a couple small parts in local theater musicals. Met a guy at the gym and we ended up moving in together. Within six months, he’d drained my savings and left me for someone else. He said I was too needy, and I should work on my body.

“Then I tried New York, LA, and now here. Same story, rinse and repeat. I have terrible luck and judgement with men and not much better with dance.

“I was told full figured women could work here. But that hasn’t happened and so I babysit to make ends meet until I can save up enough to move again.”

Eizlee toddles over to me, holding out two red peg blocks. “Holp, Low.”

I press them together. Leaving them with me, she goes to the bucket and gets two more and hands two blue to Diesel. “Holp, D.”

Making one more trip she hands a pink block to each of us to add on our individual sides. Then grabbing both of our hands that are holding the blocks, she tries to press them together to make one long log. “Holp, D. Holp, Low.”

Once all the blocks are together, she climbs in my lap and reaches for Diesel, holding both our hands. Asking for and taking what she wants.

If only life was that easy as an adult.