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CHAPTER FOUR

ANNA

S ubtle shadows played on the ceiling as I lay in Niall’s bed, the mattress conforming to my body in luxury and the comforter warm.

I was safe. I knew that, yet I couldn’t relax. Lifting my head, I could see the sofa where Niall slept, a silent guard between me and the door. So close, and yet, still too far away.

I didn’t understand my draw to him. Why his presence made me feel so safe.

I shut my eyes, reliving the past few weeks.

The moment I’d walked past a dark alley and had been grabbed. I had fought hard, but they were stronger, and in moments, I was tied up and thrown in a trunk. A needle pierced my arm, and when I woke up, I was chained in a dark, damp place, disoriented and terrified.

I lost track of time, unsure of the hour, the day, or anything. I heard noises from somewhere down a corridor I couldn’t see. Smelled chemicals that made me feel unwell. I caught murmurs of conversations of other women, but when I tried to call out to them, I was punished, so I knew not to do that.

And there was the man. Young, slim, evil-looking.

Always smiling with an expression that made my blood run cold.

When he was close enough, I could see the disconnect in his eyes.

They were icy and lifeless. He taunted and touched.

Pinched and hit. He liked to kick me. Keep me down on the ground.

He whispered of the pain and humiliation I would endure.

How I would belong to him. Serve him.

I wanted to die.

And then one day, they carried in another woman.

Una. She was the first person I had seen other than the man and an older version of him, whom he called “Uncle.” Somehow the older one scared me even more.

His gaze was pure ice. Unfeeling and ugly.

He laughed at my discomfort. Stared in fascination at this new woman, and with a sinking heart, I knew she would be facing the same horrific life I was now going to live.

When she woke, she was as terrified as I had been, but she had hope. She spoke of her Finn, firm in her faith he would find her. Rescue her. Rescue us .

She was the one who gave me the strength to keep going.

Our whispered conversations were long, and we learned about each other.

Depended on each other. After a visit from the men, we comforted each other.

Juan, as I came to know he was called, was as evil as I feared.

His uncle equally so. And when she confessed the redheaded man I had seen the day she was brought there was her brother and that he was the reason she was there, I was shocked.

Her pain was so deep at his betrayal, and I had no words of comfort to offer.

All I could do was hold her hand as she wept quietly.

She spoke of Finn the most. Her hero. She also talked about Niall, his cousin. How close the two of them were. Their shared traits and their differences. I felt as if I knew them, and I prayed she was right and we would be found.

Nothing prepared me for the day they rescued us. The way the room plunged into darkness. Just as I had given up hope. The sounds and smells. The men and guns.

Or how it felt when Niall lifted me into his arms, his strength and warmth surrounding me. How gently he held me while he carried me out of that horrible place.

How he cared for me after.

How he was still caring for me.

Earlier, he had informed me I wasn’t going anywhere. I was staying there in the hotel. With him. What it meant, I didn’t know, but I knew what I wanted it to mean. I was just too afraid to ask.

He had kissed me earlier. A soft, quick press of his mouth on mine. Meant to reassure and ease. Or, at least, that was what I told myself. It had felt like something different to me.

I slowly sat up, knowing I couldn’t sleep.

When I shut my eyes, the memories came. Dark, twisted, scary.

Sleeping, even with the pills the doctor gave me, only brought nightmares and screaming.

I reached for the water glass, not surprised to find it empty.

I was thirsty all the time—they’d never given us enough to drink or eat, and now I couldn’t get enough liquid, no matter how much I drank.

Carefully, I got out of bed, tiptoeing to the kitchen, not wanting to disturb Niall.

I failed.

“What’s the matter, Anna?” he asked, sitting up as I crossed the room.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I was thirsty.”

He rose from the sofa, heading my way. His chest was bare, the dim lighting playing off his muscles. His arms were massive, his torso thick. He had long legs, and he crossed the floor before I could blink.

He stared down at me, a towering mass of muscles and heat. “You should be sleeping. You need your rest.”

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. “I tried.”

He frowned, lifting his hand and running his knuckles down my cheek. “You’re safe, mo mhuirnín. I won’t let anything harm you.”

“I know that.” I shook my head as tears gathered in my eyes.

“I know that, but my head hasn’t figured it out yet.

As soon as I close my eyes, I’m back there.

Or I feel as if he is in the room with me.

” I drew in a shuddering breath. “And I’m trying to be quiet so I don’t disturb you, and I’m failing at that too. ”

“Hey,” he murmured, stepping close. He wrapped his arms around me, drawing me to his chest. I melted into him.

He was so big. So warm, so safe, so everything.

I couldn’t describe how it felt when he surrounded me.

Untouchable. Protected. Sheltered from anything that would hurt me.

He eased my fears. But when I was alone, all my anxieties came back.

“You’re not disturbing me. I wasn’t asleep.”

“Why not?” I asked, my voice muffled.

I felt the press of his lips on my crown and the exhale of air before he spoke. “I was too worried about you.”

I lifted my head, meeting his gaze. His eyes were as dark a brown as mine, but he had flecks of gold around his pupils. Set under heavy eyebrows and long lashes, they were incredible. He showed a lot of emotion in his gaze, but I had noticed he was also very good at hiding his feelings.

But right now, they were on display for me. Warmth, care, and patience were all I could see. And an underlying emotion I wasn’t sure either of us was ready to discuss.

“Niall,” I whispered.

“Anna,” he replied, his hand on my back pressing me closer.

“I only feel safe when you’re close.”

“Then I’ll stay as close as you want.”

“You stop the memories.”

“Good.” He eased back. “I’ll get you more water.”

“Okay.”

“Go back to bed. You’re shivering again.”

I wasn’t sure how to tell him it was because of how he made me feel. Nodding, I turned and climbed into the big bed. He followed a moment later, handing me the water glass. I sipped it, shutting my eyes as the cold water slid down my throat.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever take that for granted again.”

“You will,” he assured me. “And that will be a good thing. It means you will be forgetting that time in your life. Moving forward.”

He slid in beside me, holding the comforter up until I lay on his chest. He pulled me close, tucking the soft material around us.

I sighed as my body relaxed immediately.

His arm around me held me tight to his body, and his heat sank into my skin.

I traced circles on his arm, and he flexed then relaxed.

“You kissed me earlier.”

“I know.”

“I liked it.”

I felt his smile. “So did I.”

“It was my first kiss.”

He stiffened. “What?”

“Well, unless you count the attempted lip-lock Tommy Jones tried on me when I was thirteen.”

He chuckled, the sound reverberating in his chest and shaking me a little.

“How can you not have been kissed before?” he asked. “You’re the same age as Una, right?”

“I’m twenty-six. Two years younger.”

“Still,” he murmured. “You’re beautiful. It seems impossible.”

“I was always busy as a kid and a teenager,” I explained, surprised how unembarrassed I was talking to him about this. “No time for dating like other kids. I was always busy at the campground.”

“No crushes? Visiting handsome young campers?” he teased.

I laughed. “After the Tommy experience, I wasn’t really interested.

And when my brother died, I was sad for a long time, and there was even more work.

After Dad died and it was only the two of us, life was busier than ever.

When my mom got sick, I cared for her until she died, then I was grieving again.

I lived a fairly isolated life, and there was never much opportunity to date, so… ” I trailed off.

He was quiet for a moment. “That wasn’t a real kiss,” he announced.

I lifted my head. “It wasn’t? It felt like your mouth on mine.”

“I mean it wasn’t how I would kiss you if you wanted me to kiss you.”

Silence hung between us. “How would you kiss me?” I asked, aware my breathing had picked up. The way his chest was pumping, I knew his had as well.

He shifted, rolling slightly so we were face-to-face. “Are you sure?” he questioned.

“Yes.”

He cupped my face, stroking along my cheek with his thumb. “So beautiful,” he murmured. He smoothed his hand to the back of my neck, caressing the nape gently. I shivered in anticipation. Our eyes locked, and I saw a brand-new emotion in his gaze—lust. Desire.

Unlike the disgusting feral sneer Juan had when he stared that terrified me, all I felt with Niall was his unspoken need. A new sensation unfurled in my chest. A languid warmth that filled me. A need to be closer to him.

He lowered his head, pressing his mouth to mine, pulling me close. Our lips moved together, and when he flicked his tongue to my bottom one, I opened for him.