Page 34 of Next Level (Royal Bastards MC: Oakland Chapter #1)

“I t’s fine.”

You piece of shit.

“Ruby?” I cringe, hearing my soon-to-be -ex-husband dragging out my name, probably hoping I’ll fall for his shit and submit to him like a good little obedient wifey.

I try not to sound like a bitch but fail when I reply, “It’s fine, Brody.” Fucking asshole.

“Don’t give me attitude, Ruby. It was your decision to move out while I was—”

“For fuck’s sake, Brody.” I cut him off before he can start spewing his lines of bullshit. “I’m not giving you shit. You do need to see your daughter. I agree. As I said , it’s fine .”

God, one day. One day, I will tell him how I really feel. One of these days when I’m mentally stronger, I’ll unleash fury on him, but right now I need my anger inside to keep me going and not go back to him.

Hell no, not this time!

“Hello…Ruby? Are you even fucking listening to me?” Brody raises his voice, sounding irritated.

“Yes. You will be home a week earlier than planned and you want Isabella to be with you for the time you’re home before you leave again. I got it,” I say snidely.

The voices in the background are my queue to get off the phone.

Probably one of the groupies. I was so fucking stupid to believe he was different.

Different than all the men my mother brought home or even married.

I thought he truly loved me, but what he wanted was an obedient wife who does what he says with no questions asked.

“Ruby, when I get back, we’re having a talk. This little tantrum you’re having needs to end.”

I laugh. “ I’m having a tantrum? You sharing your wife with your groupie and bandmate. or should I say, best friend, is not a fucking tantrum. You cheating on your wife is not a tantrum.”

“Ruby. Lower your voice. You’re overreacting. We will discuss this when I get home, not over the phone. I miss you and want my wife back. You’re not ending this marriage. I’ll see you soon.” The fuck you will…

He continues like nothing is wrong. “Kiss Bella for me and tell her that Daddy loves her.”

Annoyed, I answer, “Sure,” before hanging up.

I put my phone down on the counter, gripping the kitchen countertop with both hands, breathing in deeply and trying to calm down.

“It’s okay. I’m fine. I’m okay. Everything’s going to be fine. I got this!” I say, giving myself a pep talk but failing horribly.

Fuck no, it’s not fine and hell fucking no, I’m not okay.

“For fuck’s sake. Get it together,” I say to myself, looking up at the ceiling.

I try to say positive shit to myself throughout the day. It helps to keep me going, moving forward in life even though my life sucks donkey balls right now.

I’m a twenty-six-year-old, newly separated single mom. Well, actually, most of Bella’s life Brody has been gone either on tour, in the studio recording an album or he has just been too exhausted to deal with us, so I pretty much have been a single mom since the beginning.

Life isn’t all peaches and cream. It has its ups and downs, but most of the time it’s just draining.

I’m so inside my head, beating myself up with all the bullshit Brody has told me throughout the years and, of course, all my own self-doubts.

I try not to think about it, but every day I have that little voice questioning myself…

am I a good mom? Am I doing everything I can to make her life good?

Did I do the right thing? Blah, blah, blah…

“Mama!” my three-year-old daughter’s voice bellows through the house from her bedroom. When I don’t answer fast enough, she screams again but louder. “Mommy!”

I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to keep my shit together but fail when another scream echoes throughout my auntie’s condo.

“Isabella Malone! Stop yelling. What?” I yell back from the kitchen.

“Where are you?” she answers in a whiny voice.

For the love of God, help me stay calm.

Taking a deep breath, I reply back in a calm but loud voice, “I’m in the kitchen where you left me just a couple minutes ago. If you want to talk to me, come here and stop yelling, please .”

We’ve been living with my aunt Giselle for the last few months.

I grew up here, and it was the only place I knew I could come to and feel safe.

I’ve been over this marriage for a couple years now but never had an out.

Brody isn’t going to let me leave him so easily and he sure as shit isn’t going to be happy when he’s served divorce papers.

“Mama, what’s wrong?” I look up to see my beautiful baby girl looking at me with concern while holding her Princess Aurora doll.

“Mommy was on the phone with work stuff. Nothing to worry your little head about.” I put on a fake smile.

“K, Mama.”

“What did you need?” I ask.

“Mama, can you come help me?” she asks, moving her doll from one arm to the other.

When I see she’s still not smiling, I bend down in front of her and ask, “What’s wrong, Bug?”

I reach both hands out to her tiny little waist while looking into her sky blue eyes and I smile. One thing Brody did give me is this beautiful baby girl. My Isabella, who was named after my best friend and her godmother.

When she extends one hand up to my cheek, she smiles back. “Come play with me.” Moments like this make everything worth it. Her touch. Her smile. Priceless.

“Bella baby, I can’t right this minute, but once I get dinner started, I’ll come play with you, I promise.”

“Promise?” she whines.

Smiling back at her, I reply, “Yes, my little bug, I promise.”

I lean in to kiss her forehead before giving her a big hug and squeeze that makes her giggle.

“Okay, Mama.”

Once I know Bella is out of ear’s reach, I dial the only person I can count on no matter what.

When I hear my best friend scream, “Ruby Rube!” I let out a deep breath and smile. God, I love this woman. No matter how much time has passed between us, we’re always linked like soul sisters.

“Ruby? Are you okay?” Concern is etched in her voice.

I try not to cry, but my voice comes out shaky. “Iz, I need you.”

I hear shuffling of the phone. “Fuck! Are you okay? Oh my God, is Bella okay? Where are you? What happened?”

Letting out a sniffle, I take a deep breath. “I…umm. I—”

Izzy cuts me off sounding upset. “Rube, you’re freaking me out. Let me cancel—”

“NO!” I shout.

I’m not one to ask for help. Shit, she doesn’t even know I moved out or that I’m serving Brody with divorce papers.

Izzy is a big-time DJ in New York, and lately, she has been dealing with so much of her own life drama that I didn’t want to bother her.

She is over dramatic and would have flown home, but I needed to do this on my own. Until now.

Izzy yells at someone, “It’s my best friend, Ruby from back home. Give me a minute.”

I stand up straight, push my shoulders back and with confidence say, “I left Brody, and I’m asking for a divorce.

He’s coming home in a couple weeks and will be served divorce papers.

He only has a week or two before heading out again to meet the band in Texas.

He will want to see Bella, but I need to be gone. I need to…” My voice cracks in anguish.

“I’ll book your flight tonight. Just tell me when and you can come here. I got you, girl. Holy shit! You finally did it! I am so proud of you,” Izzy says calmly.

Her words hit me like a punch to the stomach, unleashing the dam of tears. I should have told her sooner. It might have made things easier.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t call or tell you. I just didn’t want to bother you. You were on your Europe tour and then all the stuff that has been happening to you. I just thought I would be bothering you,” I ramble on.

Izzy’s voice raises. “Rube, soul sisters for life, remember? No matter where I am in life, I will always be here for you. I love you and fuck yes, I’m mad at you, but I’m even more proud of you.

I knew you would come around. We can talk about the details when we see each other, but just know I’m here for you. ”

It’s been close to five years that I’ve been pushing her away, or I should say Brody has alienated me from my friends and family. Keeping me to himself while breaking me down.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for so much,” I squeak out through tears.

“Mama! You’re crying.”

I whirl around to see my girl standing there, looking stressed.

“No, baby, Auntie Izzy has me laughing so hard that I’m crying,” I say with a fake laugh.

Just mentioning Izzy’s name, and her face lights up with joy. “An-tee Iz! I want to talk to An-tee!”

“Okay, Bug. Hold on, let me put you on speaker, but it has to be quick, Auntie is working, and Mama needs to finish talking to her, okay?”

She starts jumping up and down. “Okay, Mama. Yay, An-tee!”

Izzy’s laughing. “Bella bug! How is my little snuggle bug?”

I let them chat while getting myself together, putting that fake wall back up.

It’s fine…I’m okay…

After Bella runs back down the hall yelling for her babies, I put the phone back to my ear. “Sorry about that. I know you’re probably working.”

With the upbeat auntie voice gone, she says seriously, “Rube, stop. Don’t close back up. Text me the dates, and I’ll handle everything. If you don’t text me the dates within the next twelve hours, I will be knocking on your aunt’s door. Seriously, you need to get away, and I’ll handle everything.”

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. I want to cry again. She has always understood me. “Thank you. I love you. I really need you.”

“Did he hurt you? I need to know if he physically hurt you. Is that why you finally left him?” Izzy’s voice is so low that it catches me off guard.

“No, nothing like that. It’s a lot of things and a very long story that will need a lot of alcohol and no baby girl to interrupt us.” I end with a laugh, thinking of my little spitfire down the hall, who’s still yelling at her babies.

“Okay, I’m a call away. I can’t wait to see you! It will be like old times.”

I giggle just thinking of all the crazy shit we’ve been through.

“I hope so. I miss you too, and thank you,” I reply.

After we hang up, I finish dinner. And like I promised to, I play babies with my little bug.