Page 28 of New Beginnings At Pencarrow Bay

But searching the pockets of his cargo shorts, he realized he didn’t have his mobile.

I must have left it in the van. He had no idea of Pam’s number offhand– he couldn’t remember anyone’s number any more, except Peggy’s perhaps, now they were all stored in the phone.

He bit his lip, thinking hard. He could ring Peggy on Lindy’s phone, but she was in the middle of an interview, or ring his own phone and hope Pam heard and picked up– although he was pretty sure it was on silent mode.

She would no doubt stay for him if he asked– she had such a kind heart– but that wasn’t fair.

He had no means of getting back to the van, though, without Lindy taking him.

Which, as she drove on in silence, she apparently was not about to do.

‘Left my mobile, so I can’t ring her. I really should get back, Lindy,’ he pleaded.

‘Please,’ she said, her tone hardly above a whisper, ‘we’re here now. We’ll be really quick.’ She pulled into a diagonal parking space at the top of a small fishing village along the coast from Pencarrow and turned to him with a tired smile. ‘Help me out, Teddy.’

And that was the moment . As he looked into her intense blue eyes, Ted’s whole being seemed to jolt.

He felt breathless, frightened, a helpless child again.

Help me out, Teddy … It was the phrase his mother had used, time and time again, when she was unable to function, broken down by her addiction.

The pained voice was the same, the gaze from her intense blue eyes– wide and tear-filled, so nakedly vulnerable– identical.

That’s who Lindy reminds me of , he thought.

The uncomfortable revelation was like a sword to his heart.

Now, as then, he felt the panic begin to churn in his gut.

He’d loved his mother to distraction– admired her, thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world– but he was also desperate for her to be like his friends’ mothers: on time to pick him up at school, tea ready on the table, open for a chat about his day.

He wished she could be more regular, more predictable, just normal .

He’d wanted, too, with all his heart, to make her better.

But he never felt he had the capacity to give her even a fraction of the shedloads of support she seemed to require.

He’d kept on trying, nonetheless, year in, year out, throughout his boyhood.

Hearing the break in Lindy’s voice, he knew this time would be no different.

Ted gave a heavy sigh. Poor Pam , he thought. But what was he to do? He could think of no obvious way to contact her, so his only option was to go along with Lindy, have what he hoped was a quick coffee, and pray she was calm enough to get them back in one piece.

Lindy seemed achingly vulnerable as she sat hunched opposite him in the cramped, noisy café.

Having toyed with her cappuccino– drawing patterns in the foam with her teaspoon but not taking more than a sip– she raised her eyes to Ted.

‘I thought having the family in the house would be lovely, especially since I’m now on my own,’ she began.

‘I adore dear Ada, and it’s been wonderful getting to know her better.

’ She sighed. ‘I just can’t believe it’s all gone so wrong.

What’s happening to me, Ted? Is this my fault?

Have I done something to turn Felix against me?

’ Her blue eyes gazed unseeingly at him. ‘We always got on so well before.’

‘Of course it isn’t your fault, Lindy,’ Ted assured her. ‘You’ve done a brilliant thing, taking the family in. You don’t deserve to be treated like this.’

Lindy gave him a smile. ‘Thank you.’

‘But it’s getting really serious. You have to talk to Kim, Lindy, if you say Felix crossed a line last night.’ Ted reached over and laid his hand on hers. ‘Will you listen to me this time? Please.’

She nodded, but he wasn’t sure she heard. Without addressing his plea, she said, ‘I’m so sorry for this morning. I know how busy you are. I feel so alone these days. I suppose I miss Gordon– he was always one hundred per cent on my side.’

Ted’s heart went out to her, but he didn’t know the best way to respond, and they both fell silent.

He was champing at the bit to be back at work and gulped down his black coffee too quickly– it was bitter and watery and burned his tongue.

But then he had to wait for Lindy to finish hers.

She did, at least, seem calmer by the time they climbed back into the Audi.

Ted almost held his breath as they wound their way– irritatingly slowly this time, of course– along the main road home.

‘Thank you again, Ted,’ she said, with a grateful smile, as they drew up at the castle car park. ‘You really are the dearest man, letting me disrupt your day like this.’ She touched his hand. ‘Sorry.’

Ted forced a smile and pushed open the door, scared he might never get away.

As he hurried over to the van, he was reassured to see that the woman framed in the hatch was Peggy, not Pam.

He waved as he approached, and she raised her hand in response.

She looked relieved to see him, but he also noted the concern on her face.

Walking round to the back of the van, he opened the door and stepped inside.

Face to face in the cramped space, Ted let out a long, fatigued breath. ‘I’m sorry, Peggy. It’s been a nightmare.’

‘Is Lindy okay? Has something happened with Felix?’ Peggy asked.

He blew out a breath. ‘All sorts– I’ll tell you later. But I let slip you knew– at least, she worked it out. And she just went batshit, I couldn’t calm her down.’

‘Oh dear. Pam said she was upset.’

Ted saw a look pass over Peggy’s face and thought she must be a little hurt at the knowledge that Lindy had reacted so violently to her knowing. He leaned on the counter, bowed his head, exhausted and on edge from his morning with Lindy.

‘So where have you been?’ Peggy was asking. ‘Couldn’t you at least have called?’

‘I left my phone here. Have you seen it?’ He glanced around, avoiding Peggy’s stare.

Her gaze never leaving his face, she reached into the back pocket of her jeans and handed it to him. ‘I thought there’d been a real emergency– you never forget your phone.’

‘I was alarmed about her driving in the state she was in, so I got into the car with her,’ he tried to explain. It seemed implausible now, although at the time it had felt like the only thing to do.

Peggy raised an eyebrow in disbelief. ‘You’ve been driving around with Lindy all this time?’

He shook his head. ‘We went to a café.’ He braced himself, knowing how this would sound.

‘Wait… You’ve been having lunch ?’

‘No, no, just coffee,’ he insisted. ‘Lindy said she needed time to calm down.’ He didn’t sense it was the right moment to explain to Peggy the sudden overwhelming reminder of his mother…

how he’d felt responsible for Lindy in the same heart-aching way he had all those years ago with Lois.

Peggy knew about his mother’s drinking, although not the extent and none of the gory details…

or how it had made him feel. ‘I didn’t have any means of getting home until she brought me,’ he finished lamely.

She gave a curt nod. ‘You do realize the reason I’m a bit irritated is that Pam had to take her mum for a hospital appointment? If I hadn’t turned up, she’d never have made it.’

Ted slapped his hand on his forehead. ‘Shit. I knew her mother was ill, but she didn’t tell me that.’ He squeezed her upper arms, looked into her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry. I’ll call her to apologize.’

Both became aware of a crowd of customers– a rambling party by the look of it– and the next fifteen minutes were taken up with sorting out muddled orders as the group changed their minds about cake or sausage roll or cinnamon bun, coffee or tea, decaf or regular and who was to pay.

When they were finally settled with their drinks and food at two tables, which they’d dragged together overlooking the view– resident robin eagerly poised– Peggy turned to Ted again.

‘This is all getting a bit intense,’ she said. ‘I mean, she seems to be depending on you an awful lot.’

He nodded miserably. ‘I know.’

Neither spoke. Peggy mindlessly wiped the already clean surfaces with a damp cloth. It was hot in the van, the air tense.

‘It’s Monday. Haven’t you got Ada today?’ he asked, remembering.

‘Half-term,’ Peggy replied, then added, ‘None of this feels quite right, Ted. I’m not getting at you. I’m just worried you’re being sucked into something you can’t handle.’

‘Meaning what, exactly?’

‘Look, Lindy is obviously in a bad way, if Felix is doing what she says. That was clear from this morning. But you’re not an expert. She badly needs someone who is.’ She took a breath to speak, then fell silent.

Ted frowned. ‘There’s that “if” again, Pegs.

You think she’s confused about what’s going on?

’ He knew he sounded unnecessarily defensive, given that the thought had briefly occurred to him, too, during that mad ride to the café.

But he’d resolutely pushed the idea away: it felt like a betrayal of the poor woman to think like that.

Peggy looked at him uncertainly. Then she blew out her cheeks. ‘Honestly? I don’t know what the hell to think. But one thing’s for sure. It’s driving us crazy.’

Ted watched as Peggy stopped wiping and stood up straighter, seeming to shake off their conversation as she took a deep breath and gave him a determined smile.

‘Anyway, I’ve got some exciting news. That’s why I came by the van earlier, to tell you.

’ Her grin got more genuine. ‘I think I’ve got a job in Sienna’s forest school. ’

Ted, happy to have something else to think about at last, gave her a huge, congratulatory hug. ‘That is fantastic news, sweetheart.’