Page 74 of Never Tear Us Apart

Chapter Seventy-One

The journey back to the half-house without Sal is long and weary. My sore feet guide me to the broken place that has become my home, but it feels like less of one without Sal. I long to lay my head on the sofa, close my eyes and visit oblivion.

When I reach the house again, it is morning, and Danny is sitting on the doorstep. He looks up when he sees me coming and opens his arms. I run to him and fall into his lap. He pulls me tight against him, burying his face in me.

‘What happened?’ I ask. When I look at his face, I see grey exhaustion under his tanned skin. ‘Come inside.’ Getting up, I pull him to his feet. He doesn’t speak, just lets me lead him inside, where he collapses onto the sofa.

When he looks up at me, I see so much sorrow in his eyes I can hardly bear it.

‘What happened?’ I ask him again. ‘There were no raids last night.’

‘No raids,’ he says. ‘But the recon boys were up. And they ain’t come back.’

‘Warby?’ I whisper, thinking of Christina.

‘Yeah,’ he nods, dropping his chin. ‘They sent me out to tell Christina, but damned if I know how to.’

‘It will be another one of his pranks,’ I say. ‘He’s probably gone to Gibraltar for an adventure. You know how bored he gets.’

‘Maybe,’ Danny replies, pulling me against him.

‘So, what do you think?’

‘I think he went dark over Italy, and that’s not good,’ Danny says. ‘I don’t want to be right; I never want to be right when it comes to this. But sometimes you can feel it, you know? Like a light has gone out.’

‘Oh, God – Christina.’ I never thought to look for their names, to see if they made it.

If I had, then maybe I could have done something.

Could I still? All these millions of lives lost in this war, and I am only trying to save three, including my own.

Guilt washes over me, and I turn my face into Danny’s neck.

‘Save your tears,’ Danny tells me gently. ‘Christina will need her friends to carry her through.’

‘I should have done something,’ I mutter half to myself.

‘What could you have done?’ Danny asks me.

‘I don’t know,’ I say.

‘One thing I’ve learnt is that you can’t fight this war planning to save the whole world,’ Danny says.

‘Not even one corner of it or all your friends and comrades-in-arms. There ain’t no one person in the whole world who can do that.

You fight for your life and the lives of the people you love, and you fight knowing that you might not make it.

You don’t have to accept it. You don’t have to believe it.

But you do have to know it. Adrian Warburton knew it better than most. That man took risks that few would have the courage to.

He rolled the dice; he hoped he’d always win. He always knew he might not.’

‘So many,’ I say. ‘So many lives gone, and for what?’

‘For the future,’ Danny says. ‘We gotta believe that tomorrow will be better because of us. Will you come with me to tell her?’

I nod. ‘Yes.’

Closing my eyes, I hold him close for a few moments.

I know the peace that Danny longs for hardly holds at all, that the world still tears itself apart in the name of causes he can’t even imagine yet.

But he needs to believe that his friends are dying because future generations are worth the sacrifice.

I need to believe that, too, more than anything.

I need to believe that we can be good enough for them.

We walk a little apart from each other to Christina’s house; we wait at her door while we hear shouting and laughter inside.

Finally, Christina flings open the door, smiling.

The moment she sees our faces, she knows.