Page 19 of Never Tamed (Bad Wolves #3)

The pieces of the mangled metal are easily torn apart and manipulated. Several bright chinks loop into a necklace with the band at the front like some kind of ridiculous One Ring to Rule Them All bullshit.

Step one.

The acid in my throat sinks deeper, scalding all the way through me.

Torin. You want to tell me what you’re doing ?

Noble’s voice sounds in my head and I stop mid-stride, knocking into one of Mathis’s wolves. The man bares his teeth at me before ducking his head, admonished, and hurrying away from whatever thunderous expression he sees on my face.

None of your fucking business , I throw back.

Noble chuckles. Testy, are we ? You’ll get used to this. But fine. I’ll leave you alone . A pause, and then, She’s down by the edge of the lake. When you’re ready . She said she needed some space after being fucked so good.

I ignore that last part. I’m not ready yet.

I’m not sure if I'll ever feel ready and confident and like myself. The old me, the person I used to be, has been fucking erased. Wiped off the map. The person I could be now hasn’t fully formed yet.

My mouth dries and I grind my jaw, working it back and forth despite the ache.

From the angle of the sun, the moon will rise within a few hours. It isn’t time for dinner yet.

Dinner, fuck. I haven’t cooked a meal on my own in my entire life.

So why would cooking for Ren be a good idea?

Because it’s not something you’ve done before , Noble answers.

Will you fuck off already ? I bite. Get out of my head .

He chuckles. You’re a real asshole when you’re being vulnerable .

But he shrinks until he’s only a nudging tickle at the edge of my consciousness, just like Mathis. The two of them are starting to integrate and feel more natural there. Like I’ve always had the space in my mind but I never realized it until the bonds sharpened through Ren.

The last bits of sunlight glint off the necklace in my hand as I stalk into the dimly lit dining hall. It’s stupid, really. Just something to say “I’m okay with sharing but I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

She’ll probably shove the thing down my throat and force me to eat it. Which, okay, fine.

The ring was supposed to be a symbol of commitment between me and Catarina.

I halfway consider yanking the ring off the necklace and throwing it into the bowels of the forest. But the cool shadows of the dining hall soothes a little bit of ragged edges. Restores some much needed sanity.

I stalk into the kitchen like I actually know what I’m doing and sneer at the wolves there.

“Move. I need this space.” I bark the command to them and they share a look before hustling off.

I don’t even think about it anymore. Alpha command is natural.

The pots of boiling chilli are abandoned and the salad is only half chopped. The scent of bread baking in the oven winds through my senses, my stomach growling.

Our people need to be fed. I don’t want to ruin what’s already been done while I try my hand at… ugh, fucking cooking.

So I turn off the burner beneath the chile and take the rolls out of the oven, finding some kind of mitt to protect me from the heat.

I want to give Ren something more.

What?

I find a few ingredients, something easy but thoughtful—at least in my mind—and then stop, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I slick my tongue over my lips as the pit in my stomach deepens. Christ, I need to grow a pair.

I shouldn't be this nervous to contact my mate. My wolf sits up, pays attention, and growls at me. She is mine .

Before I lose my nerve, I open the channel between our souls.

Ren ? I, ah , I need to talk to you . I send a wave of emotion along with the words.

Her awareness deepens but no words come through the bond. How do I even know if I’m doing this right?

Will you please come to the dining hall ? I need a minute of your time .

Again, there’s no response, and my unease grows stronger and louder.

My instinct is to inject a command through the bond and force her to me. Like I did in the office. I made her crawl to me and it was the prettiest damn sight of my life.

This is not the same.

The kitchen blurs, the edges darkening and the only bright spot is the image of her in my head.

Finally, softly, comes, You’re seriously saying please?

I will use it a thousand times if you come meet me , I add.

You’re calling me by my name, too.

Do you want me to call you something else?

I tense for a second and reach for the loaf of bread, slamming it down harder than necessary in front of me. Knife, where’s the knife? My fingers refuse to curl.

Ren’s confusion is a tickle in my brain. Fine .

The relief is immediate and I almost drop the blade. Then, regaining my composure, I purposely leave the door between us open, the bond like a highway. Ren, on the other hand—

Slams it shut.

The abrupt silence spins my head and I go dizzy.

Fine, that’s fine, for now. She’s on her way here. The necklace burns a hole in my pocket while I cut four pieces of uneven bread and search for a fresh pan. There’s a dented but clean stainless steel one near the sink.

I have to be the opposite of me

That’s the objective. I have to do what I wouldn't ordinarily do to show her I’m serious about making this work.

I’ve fucked everything up. I’m not sure there's a way to go back on it and it’s maddening to feel flustered. I’ve had my entire life under control for years.It's been the only way to ensure protection for my people and survival, for me.

I set the pan on the stove and grab a chunk of butter and cheese from the fridge. Grilled cheese is a classic, right? Comfort food. Something to warm the heart.

I haven’t let myself have comfort in a long time. There’s been an element of punishment in my control, as though it somehow makes me a better leader to suffer for the others.

No one likes a martyr.

Ren liked me anyway and look what I did to her? I hurt her. I put her directly into harm’s way and Catarina almost killed her because of it.

My awareness deepens the closer Ren gets and I force myself to go slow and steady as I construct the grilled cheese. Then a sigh, a soft gust of air on the back of my neck, tickles my skin. She’s here .

I turn slowly to find her leaning against the open doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. The sight of her takes my breath away and this time, I let it happen rather than tamping everything down. Sensation storms me in a way that makes me lightheaded. My fingers freeze around the pan handle.

Long hair curls over her shoulders and dark lashes flutter. “Well?” Her voice is soft.

But there’s fire in her eyes.

I clear my throat and hope the next words out of my mouth don’t make me sound like a complete fucking prick. “I cooked.”

“You…cooked.” She repeats. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to try to do something nice for you.” Something that isn’t me.

The air between us goes tight and hot and strained. “You don’t cook. You have an army of personal chefs who are Michelin star trained.”

She sniffs.

“I’m trying.” I let it land. Hopefully it counts. “I’m trying to be better than I was.”

Ren sags. “Christ, Torin, no one asked you to turn yourself inside out. I never asked you to change who you are.”

“But who I am is wrong.” My mouth fills with the taste of something bitter and disgusting. “I treated you like you were a choice. You’ve never been a choice, Ren. You’ve always been something special. To me and to the world. I can’t apologize enough.”

I want her in my arms.

“And you think cooking me dinner is going to be the trick to winning me over?”

My chest goes tight enough to split my ribs. “I have to try.”

Her eyes widen and hope surges like a fucking traitor in my bloodstream.

Then, “Torin, the pan!”

A belch of black smoke clogs the kitchen and immediately shoots straight into my lungs. My eyes burn and when I turn, the simple grilled cheese is a brick of ash.

“Shit.”

I grab the handle and yell when hot metal melts into my skin. I drop the entire thing on the stovetop with an obnoxious clatter and the spray bits of food that aren’t charred ignite with the flames from the gas burner.

Curses fling from my lips and my palm throbs with the beat of my heart. What the fuck kind of man burns a grilled cheese and starts a fire? A fucking failure, that’s who.

The stench of burning cheese assaults my nostrils.

Then, water starts to spray from above, drenching both of us and the entire place in seconds.

“Shit!” I yell, trying to cover my head. It’s no use though. We’re already so wet, our clothes are sticking to our bodies like a second skin. Strobe lights start to flash from every exit door. “The sprinklers!”

“Torin!”

The flames from the failed dinner are doused, at least, but the pulsing water and my own stupidity have definitely ruined the evening.

Strands of hair cling to our faces and drip off our chins. Everything is soaked.

Standing there, struck dumb as the water continues to cascade over us, we just stare at each other, unsure what even to do now.

So instead, we both just burst out laughing.