Page 18 of Never Tamed (Bad Wolves #3)

Torin

I ’m not used to this.

Control has always been my bread and butter, the way I live my life. I’ve been trained to rule this way since birth as my father’s first and only son.

To have it shared, to have to work around the whims and fancies of another alpha, feel like I’ve lost my fucking mind.

But here I stand with Mathis and a part of me yields to him because he is my mate’s mate.

What a world.

What a fucking twist of heartless fate. Our packs worked together better than I ever thought possible in our absence.

Are we the problem?

Or are they just better together, kind of like we are? I’m forced to admit the truth when it’s right in front of my face this time.

I tap my fingers against my thigh before I catch myself and stifle the movement with a growl.

And through the mate bond, I feel them. Noble and Ren.

And fucking Dax although he’s not a part of this.

I only recognize the distinctive spike in her pleasure she gets when she’s being filled by more than one cock. And since Mathis is here with me—

Mathis only arches a dark brow higher, the lines of his forehead going deep with the movement. “You have to tune them out.”

His cabin bears all the rustic charm of a condemned building. Which it is. The twin bunk beds are pushed together into one large expanse. He and Dax are supposed to share the space but only Mathis spends time here.

His scent is all over the place along with an unhealthy number of red flannel shirts he somehow accumulated.

Ren’s pleasure pulls the bond tight.

I grind my teeth and flash him a pained grimace. “How do you stand it?”

“If my mate is happy, then I’m happy,” he says with a shrug. “We need to focus on the Blood Moons anyway. At least we know where they are now.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t give us the upper hand.”

“That’s why we’re here, asshole. To figure out how to get one,” Mathis protests.

The curse helps steady me because I’m much more used to having our teeth at each other’s throats than playing nice, happy home.

“We don’t know where he is,” I correct, tapping my foot, “but we have an idea where he’s hiding. We’ll have to proceed with caution. If he knows we’re planning to bring the fight to him, then he’ll kill the omegas he’s stolen to make us suffer.”

Mathis frowns and his jaw juts forward. “He already has.”

Worry, tension, agony. If the radio is believed, then yes, Andras made his move, murdering the kidnapped omegas.

We might already be screwed, but I have to believe we can pull a win out of our asses.

“He’s always one step ahead, at the very least,” Mathis continues, his voice tight with pain. “He’s had his plans in place for years.”

Something about him softens and a flicker of awareness pulses in my head. “You're thinking about Catarina.” And beyond Catarina there’s Ren, always Ren, and the way I hurt her.

“I can’t read your thoughts. It’s your face. You’re wearing your heartbreak on your goddamn sleeve, Torin.”

“It’s true though, isn’t it?” I clench my hand into a fist. “I had no idea he and Catarina were working together. I thought we were gaining allies with the Briar pack and it was nothing but a lie.”

A bullshit lie I swallowed willingly and almost jeopardized the future of my wolves.

“Then get over it,” Mathis snaps.

“Easy for you to say. You weren’t the one who almost married a mole.”

“A pretty mole.”

I’m gonna punch him. “Stop trying to make me feel better,” I say with a groan.

“Heaven fucking forbid. I’m trying to get you to focus and if you’re angry, then you’re more likely to pay attention.”

Mathis is right. We have no choice at this point. We’re united by a single mate. I need to focus.

The anger feels better. It feels normal. I reach for a tie I’m not wearing and growl. “It doesn’t matter. We’re out of allies. There are no more packs in the area that Andras hasn’t already absorbed.”

It’s just the two alphas, the way it needs to be. I’d rather be in my office but Mathis and his unraveling…it took precedence over my comfort, so we’re in his room.

Who the fuck am I becoming?

Any other day, I’d never give a shit how he felt, what he wanted. Now? I’m going out of my way to make someone else feel better.

The deltas are outside the door to ensure we’re not disturbed, and our mate is busy, distracted. In the best way. A part of me yearns to interrupt the three of them but duty tempers the feeling, as usual.

Duty and guilt.

The guilt is new.

“We’re not out of allies, you ignorant prick.” Mathis snorts. His hands clench, his knuckles turning white. “We have each other. It’s the best we can do under the circumstances.”

I draw in a breath and force it to the bottom of my lungs. “We’ve never trusted each other before. Pardon the fuck out of me if I need an adjustment period.”

I pull up short when Mathis growls, pacing the room. “Well, you can’t have one.”

It’s a strange turn of the tables, a different kind of dynamic between the two of us, but this time, I’m calm. As calm as a man in my position can be. And Mathis is the one snipping and griping.

“For the record, we never trusted each other for a good reason. Now we have a different reason to work together. There’s no going back.” A vein ticks in his temple. “We’re connected forever. You understand it, don’t you?”

The bond flares brighter. “Don’t remind me. Of course I understand it.” My wolf shifts, rising.

Ren is the tether between our two packs and if the mate bond between my beta and Mathis weren’t enough to do the trick, having the two alphas connected to one woman certainly does.

“So we put aside our differences and we get this shit taken care of. Andras isn’t going to stop until we make him stop.” Mathis pulls up short, his chest puffing out. “The wheels are already in motion.”

“We’re outnumbered and out maneuvered.”

“So fucking what?”

Mathis begins his stalking again, agitated.

“He might have the upper hand but he’s led by his ego and this is where we are. He’s taken too much from us to walk away from this. We have a chance to make this right.” I lock my knees to stay upright.

Time isn’t on our side, another lost ally. We’re rebuilding brick by brick, starting from scratch, and launching an attack at the same time.

I have so many things to make right.

I’ve royally fucked up more times than I can count and all in the name of doing the right thing. Which doesn’t make it any better and it doesn’t change the outcome. What do they say about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?

Story of my goddamn life.

My stomach knots, acid scalding my throat.

And now there’s Ren in the mix and the full strength of the connection between us that I’d tried to reject and shove aside.

There’s no more shoving it aside. Not when we’ve both accepted it. Not when I feel her pain. It lingers in the back of her head and even when she’s smiling, it’s still there.

Pleasure can’t erase the biting sting of the wrongs I’ve committed and how they impact her.

I’ll have to grovel to make this right. There’s nothing I can do about Andras at this current moment but I know I can fix things with Ren.

I thread my hands through my hair, pulling sharply.

Mathis groans and brushes his palms across his face. “For the love of god, man.”

I blink. “What?”

“Get it over with. Between the two of you, and dealing with this shit, I’m going out of my mind.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” I say carefully.

Mathis growls, a low warning sound under his breath. His dark eyes go black. “You might be able to bullshit the rest of the world but I know you too well.” He taps the side of his temple. “I fucking feel you in the worst place. You’re an itch in my goddamn head.”

I lift my chin. “I’m not going to apologize for it.”

We share the same mate . There is no going back now. I tried to ignore the bond and it only hurt Ren. Now, to break it is impossible, and Mathis and I will have to come to some sort of accord. Spoken or otherwise.

“Go to her and you beg on your knees like a fucking pup.” He walks his fingers through the air to the door. “It might not make a difference but you have to try.”

Then Mathis strides to the door, turning his back on me. But his anguish is there in my mind, the thin control he clings to like a life preserver in a stormy sea, and if I give in, I’ll be lost too.

“Do you think it will help your mood swings if I do?” I ask with a sneer.

He flashes me the middle finger in lieu of an answer but I can’t breathe easily even when he disappears outside. Meeting adjourned.

He’s right.

Getting down on my knees to grovel will only be part of the process of forgiveness and Ren is well within her rights to send me packing. But she can demand I lick her feet like a dog and I’ll do it.

I tap my fingers on my thigh and follow Mathis out the door. Maybe there’s nothing I can do about Andras right now. Our hands are tied. But I know I can start to fix things with Ren.

No one stops me, no one looks my way, not when I grab several of the slender chains off the barred doors of the old camp buildings. The ones not in use. There are piles of similar chains strewn from the cabins we’ve opened and made our own.

I need…

Something . Right now, there are no fancy jewelry stores available. I can’t show my face in the city without bringing the heat down on us. So what do you do when there’s nothing to buy to give your mate?

Normally I’d send piles of jewelry and roses and notes I barely put any effort into. Money did the speaking for me.

Money won’t work for Ren.

My hands aren’t used to moving like this anymore. Were they ever? I’m not the kind of man who fucking makes crafts like a kid and presents them to proud parents. One withering glance from my father and any kind of creative ability I used to have shriveled up and died.

I pry the wedding band off my finger, shoving it past swollen knuckles and swallowing down a bit of pain, stomping a path toward the main lodge.