“I know you’re not going to understand, but I still have to try.” Carson’s voice held a hesitant tone.
I was almost too afraid to ask…. “Understand what?”
He sighed.
Without looking, I could feel him rub his hands over his face in exasperation. It made my stomach drop and my heart ache.
It would be so much easier if he wasn’t always so disappointed in me. Our lives would be so much better if I didn’t break. If I instead could be present like a normal adult in the face of our problems.
“Micah didn’t bring his pet hedgehog over. He doesn’t have one.” Carson’s voice was pleading. “Micah is the hedgehog.”
My mind swirled with another piece of information that made absolutely zero sense. I sat upright and gave Carson every ounce of my attention so there could be no misunderstanding. “What do you mean Micah is a hedgehog?”
My words sparked a surprisingly sharp reaction. His jaw tensed. His eyes flared—lit as if a switch had been flipped behind them.
Carson dropped down onto the floor beside me, grabbed my shoulders, and pulled me against him.
My entire body stiffened and sighed at the same time.
He was touching me— hugging me.
“You actually heard me,” he whispered against my hair. His shoulders shook.
He was laughing.
And a droplet fell down his cheek onto my forehead.
He was crying?
I wanted to stay exactly where I was, in his arms, forever. But I had to see his face. I had never felt so confused in my life.
Reluctantly, I pulled away to look at him. A wet line ran down the middle of his left cheek, but no tears were falling now.
He smiled.
Oh, that smile. It did things to me. Confusing, fluttery things.
It was the wide, unguarded, boyish grin I hadn’t seen in so long. The one that used to melt me in half a second. The one that melted me now.
We sat on the floor, no more than a foot of physical space between us. Even the emotional chasm that had seemed impossible to breach this morning felt like it was closing, like I could reach my hand out and I’d find him reaching back.
“You heard me about Micah,” he said.
I nodded. “But this is a joke, right?”
His earnest expression promised it wasn’t. “Erika, I know it sounds outlandish, but Micah is a hedgehog shifter.”
One of my best friends was a werebunny. I’d recently witnessed an army of zombie squirrels storm the park. Nothing imaginable was impossible. Still, this felt like a thing that happened to other people, not to my kid.
If Carson said this was the truth, I had no choice but to believe him.
“Werehedgehog,” I whispered under my breath. “You’re telling me he was bitten.”
He winced and adjusted his legs, probably hurt from sitting on the floor. “What?”
I repeated, “A werehedgehog bit Micah.”
“No.”
“What do you mean, no? If what you’re saying is true, and Micah turns into a hedgehog, what other possible explanation is there?”
Carson blinked, took a moment, and smoothed his features.
“He inherited it.” His voice was still soft, still patient.
This still wasn’t making sense.
“From me.” Carson waited for the gears in my head to click.
And click they did.
Micah and Carson were werehedgehogs.
“Seriously? How is that possible?” I took a long, steady breath. I found my hands on my cheeks, like my body was trying to stop my head from falling off. “You mean, you were bitten by a werehedgehog.”
“Well, uh….”
If Micah inherited this curse from Carson, Carson must have been bitten over a decade ago. The realization…it stung. “Why wouldn’t you tell me? How could you hide this from me for so long?”
His jaw clenched, then immediately softened. “I did tell you.”
No, he definitely had not.
Before I could protest, he continued. “I’ve told you so many times, Erika. I’ve tried to share everything with you, but every time I open up and tell you about my shifter side, you white out.”
My mind whirled even faster than before.
I wanted to get up, grab the rest of my bottle of wine, and dump the entire contents down my throat. Equally, I wanted to will away the glass of wine I’d already consumed, because I needed a clearer head to make sense of this reality.
“You’re serious,” I said, only half in question.
“Yes.”
“You’re not just messing with me?” I asked again, because that would really make this situation easier to digest.
His expression softened further. “Of course not.”
I flexed my fingers in my lap. “When exactly did you get bitten?”
“I was never bitten by a werehedgehog. My family, we’re hedgehog shifters. We’re born this way.”
“So, what about Adam?”
“He’s a hedgehog shifter, too.”
Was he…yes, he definitely was smiling. This time it was small, subtle, and restrained.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Is this funny to you?”
“Not at all. I’m relieved.”
“How?”
“I told the woman I love an essential part of who I am.” He placed his hand over mine. “And she heard me.”
He said the woman I love . Not loved . Not in the past.
He loved me now.
I’d jump for joy if this was the only revelation of the night, but it wasn’t.
How had I not heard him before? Were my white-outs always when something about hedgehogs came up? What did all of this mean for our family? For our boys?
“Not only did she hear—” He gently squeezed my hand in his. “She heard my words and she didn’t run.”
“Why would I run?”
“It’s felt like you’ve been running, in your head, from me, from the truth. Every time I brought it up.”
“I’m sorry. I would never do that on purpose.”
“I know.”
“But you’re hearing me now,” he said.
I took a breath. “And I’m still here.”
“I’m not running either.” His smile was warm.
What did all of this mean? Who were we now? Was it a fluke that I’d heard him? Would I white out again next time?
“I can’t promise the white-outs won’t happen again,” I said.
“I know. For now, though, I want to savor this moment. Can I hug you again?”
I didn’t know if it was the right thing to say or to do. I didn’t know if letting him hold me now meant more pain later. But there was only one possible answer I could give.
“Yes.”
He pulled me in like he couldn’t get close enough, like he’d been waiting months for this moment. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, firm and all-encompassing. He slid one hand up to the back of my neck like he used to.
His body was warm and solid and so right, and I heard the way his breath hitched when I didn’t pull away.
I was too busy holding on to care what could happen later. In this one perfect moment, we were on the same page. We were two people who loved each other.
An alarm went off.
Carson pulled away. “I have to go.”
I nodded, unsure if I was capable of producing real, intelligible words.
“Come to dinner with us tomorrow,” he said. “If you’re available.”
I nodded. It wouldn’t matter what was on my schedule, I’d drop a five-star dinner at the top of the Eiffel Tower with Beyoncé to be with my family. I couldn’t freaking wait.