Page 38

S he made her way through the room, stopping only occasionally when a lady or two asked about her efforts to help the climbing boys. Nathaniel’s speech had made a difference in that regard. More women were now interested, even those who had previously avoided her.

She took comfort in that. If she and Nathaniel were heading toward another fallout, at least she would still have that cause.

Goodness, how could she think that way? They had only just found each other again. They had only just declared their love. He wasn’t going to throw all of that away—not for some other woman.

But then… if that were true, what about the other part of what Halston had said? That she was nothing but a distraction—a problem that had to be solved.

She shook her head. No. She had to find Nathaniel. She had to talk to him right now. Because the moment she looked into his eyes and heard his voice, she would know all of it was nonsense—that they were still united.

She spotted him then, with Julian, the two of them heading into the adjacent room.

She rushed after them, excusing herself as she bumped into assorted ladies. At the door, she stopped, knocked, and entered.

No one was there.

She looked around and recognized it—it was the music room.

Beyond it lay the gardens. Perhaps they had gone there.

She crossed the room with purpose and stepped outside.

She made her way through the gardens when she spotted them standing by the water fountain.

She walked quickly toward them, but then something gave her pause.

Nathaniel stood with one arm raised, gesturing in the air before letting it fall to his side. Again, he shook his head, looking exasperated. Beside him, Julian raised both hands in a calming motion, trying to settle him.

What happened? Why is he upset?

She stepped closer, walking quietly across the grass, careful to avoid any errant sticks or branches that might give her away.

She didn’t know why she was sneaking—why she wasn’t simply walking up to him—but something about the way he moved, the way he looked, made her uneasy.

She trusted him… yes, but it was always better to be safe than sorry, wasn’t it?

She crouched behind a carefully trimmed hedge and then heard his voice clearly.

“…trapped in a wretched marriage,” he said.

Her stomach dropped.

Behind her, the garden door squeaked open. She turned, momentarily distracted. The ground seemed to sway beneath her feet.

What was he saying? Why had her father lied? Why was Nathaniel acting this way?

She refocused just in time to see two ladies step down the stairs and circle the back. The two men were still speaking.

“I made it quite clear to her—I was not interested in anything. There was never anything between us. She must have lost her mind to think there was. She meant so little to me. If anything, she was nothing but a distraction.”

Evelyn staggered backward. Nothing but a distraction? Trapped in a marriage he didn’t want?

Was he talking about her?

What did any of it mean? They had been happy. She’d given him courage before his speech. So why would he say this? Had it all been a lie? Their heartfelt conversations… had they meant nothing?

No, she thought. This couldn’t be true. But she had heard him say it.

“I wish I had never met her at all,” he said then.

“Well, something good has come of it,” Julian said.

“Yes, but I would’ve liked for things to come about differently. Her interference has caused a great deal of trouble. And now she dares to think I’ll still dance to her tune?”

Evelyn let out a small gasp—then clamped her hand over her mouth.

Did he think her asking for help with the climbing boys meant she expected him to dance to her tune?

How could I have been so wrong about him?

Everything she had believed about their love, their story, their marriage—it had all been a lie.

Her head pounded. She pressed her palm against her forehead, as if the gesture might silence the storm of thoughts inside her.

Her father had just confirmed that Nathaniel lied about the clubs. He wasn’t just attending proper gentleman clubs—he had been going to Westcott’s. Seeing women. Halston had told her, but she hadn’t wanted to believe him.

And everything Nathaniel had said about Halston—was that a lie, too?

There was no more room for doubt. Even if she didn’t trust Halston, her father wouldn’t lie. And here was Nathaniel, speaking to his best friend, telling him the truth. Telling him what he really thought of her.

She had to stop pretending. She had to face reality.

She had been lied to. Deceived. Made a fool of.

Tears stung her eyes as she turned and ran through the gardens, back into the house.

She found her carriage and instructed the coachman, “Take me home.”

“Are we not waiting for His Grace?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No. You may return for him afterward.”

“Very well, Your Grace,” he said and climbed into the driver’s seat.

She had barely settled in when the carriage jolted into motion. The wheels groaned over the cobbled street, then shifted into a muted rumble as they moved onto the sandy roads leading out of London, toward the house that was meant to be hers.

But it wasn’t her home. Not anymore. It couldn’t be.

She burst through the front door and hurried to her chamber. Throwing open the armoire, she pulled out her most treasured gowns, her favorite books, and every document tied to her work with the other ladies.

She summoned her maid. “Pack my portmanteau with everything I’ve laid on the bed. Quickly.”

Then she rushed to the wardrobe, collected what she needed, and returned just as the maid finished.

“Are you going on a trip?” the maid asked.

“I…” Evelyn hesitated, then nodded. “Yes. It’s short notice, I know. Please prepare the other cases. I’ll be down momentarily.”

The maid curtsied and called a footman to take the trunks downstairs.

Evelyn ran to the library. Her favorite writing desk had been placed there. She seized a sheet of paper, her inkwell, and a quill, and wrote quickly. Then she sprinkled salt to dry the ink, brushed the grains into the wastebasket, and folded and sealed the letter.

She walked across the manor to the west wing—his chambers. For weeks now, they had been in his chambers, too. She had shared her nights with him.

She shuddered, remembering the tender kisses, the gentle touches… and those that were not so gentle. She had given herself to this man—heart, mind, body—and he had betrayed her.

How could I have been so stupid?

Falling for this sort of tomfoolery might be expected of a debutante in her first season—but her? A woman twice over?

She paced, then placed the letter on his pillow. A wave of fury surged through her. Without thinking, she swept her arm across the nightstand, sending his book, an old pocket watch, and the candleholder crashing to the floor. The candle rolled across the room, stopping near the window.

Still not satisfied, she hurled his pillow across the room. It landed with a thud.

Yes, these were childish actions—but she had spent the last year doing everything expected of a duchess. Refined. Reserved.

That was over. Let him think her foolish. Let him think her rash. She didn’t care what he thought anymore.

Nathaniel had hurt her for the last time.

She left the letter where it had landed, the red seal stark against the white paper like a warning bell.

Good. He’d see it the moment he entered—likely before he saw the destruction she had wrought.

Jaw clenched, nostrils flared, Evelyn turned and marched out of the room, down the hall, and into the waiting carriage.

She leaned back and closed her eyes. Her entire body was taut, tight with despair, anger, betrayal, and heartbreak.

Only once they had turned onto the main road did the tears fall.

And as they slipped silently down her cheeks, she vowed that these would be the last tears she ever shed for Nathaniel.