Page 37
E velyn’s head swam. Why had he been talking to Lady Charmaine for so long and in such an intimate manner? True, he had stepped back a couple of times, but each time he had done it, he had looked at her in such a peculiar way. Why?
You must stop making such a cake of yourself. He was looking at you because he wanted to make sure you thought nothing was amiss .
But then she stopped again and glanced over her shoulder at Lady Charmaine, who beamed at her. Why would he have looked at her that way? As if something was wrong? Did she truly still not trust him? After all this time, after all they had been through?
She needed to get air. There were so many people here and so many whispers.
She could not stand it. As she walked out, she saw her father and Nathaniel standing in the corner, talking intently.
Nathaniel looked after her and raised his chin, as if to call for her, but then turned away.
What was her father talking to him about now?
She stepped into the garden and sat on a stone bench, one foot slung over the other.
It wasn’t very ladylike, but she didn’t care right now.
It had been more difficult than she had anticipated—being his wife, really being his wife.
She loved it, of course, but at the same time, she felt the pressure on her.
The way people looked at her, the way people examined every little thing she did, as if they could not wait but find fault.
She had even heard rumors that wagers were being placed on her ability to carry herself properly. As if she had been dragged out of the ditch somewhere and hadn’t already been a lady—the daughter of an earl.
Outside, she took a deep breath. This was all far more than she had ever anticipated. She could not wait to get home, to be alone with him. To not have to answer to anybody. To not have to keep up appearances. She leaned back. Just then, the door opened, and she groaned.
“That is not a very pleasant welcome,” Lord Halston said as he looked at her, but there was a smirk in his eyes.
“Lord Halston. To what do I owe the?—”
“To nothing, Your Grace. I was not looking for you. I was simply leaving. I cannot help it that you had to stay, my dear.”
“I am not leaving,” she said. “I am merely sitting.”
“Very well,” he said, and shrugged. “And where is that husband of yours?”
“Inside,” she said. “Entertaining.”
“I see. He does that rather well.”
“Please, Lord Halston, do leave me be. I am not in the mood for your cryptic hints and machinations. If you have something to say, I would much rather?—”
“Very well. I will repeat what I told you before. You, Your Grace, are a fool. For trusting him. For believing that you are anything more than an inconvenience, he had to get out of the way.”
“I daresay most gentlemen are not in the habit of marrying their inconveniences.”
“Are they not?” he said. “You must not be very familiar with the same society I am a part of.”
She couldn’t say anything further to that because it was true. She did know their society well. And she knew what they would be like. There were so many gentlemen and ladies married who could not stand one another, who had wed only for convenience, but that wasn’t why she and Nathaniel had married.
“If you must know,” she said, puckering her lips before continuing, “His Grace and I are very fond of one another. We share confidences. We trust one another.”
“Is that true?” he said. “And what of Miss Bellamy? And Miss Carlisle?”
She dipped her head to one side, not wanting to admit that she didn’t know who these ladies were.
“Concubines at the club, Westcott’s. Surely you know—if he tells you everything, if you share your confidences.”
“He does not have concubines,” she said. She hated the way her voice sounded so weak as she spoke.
“Well, if that is what he said, I shall not shatter this carefully built house of cards the two of you have constructed together. I would’ve made you happy, you know,” he said.
“We could’ve gone on grand adventures together.
We could’ve seen the world. But you had to choose him over me.
Discard me like yesterday’s porridge. I would’ve shown you the world. ”
“If I had to be married to you to see the world, my lord, I would rather look at nothing but the bottom of my own foot for the rest of my life.”
He scoffed and started to grin. Then the grin faltered, as if he just then understood what she had said.
“Ungrateful wench,” he said. “You deserve one another,” he said and stormed away, leaving her behind.
She couldn’t believe a man like him. Like Lady Charmaine—self-absorbed, concerned only with his own well-being.
No, she couldn’t put any faith in him. And yet she couldn’t help it.
There was that nagging feeling. She still did not know Nathaniel that well.
Her heart assumed that it knew him. But her mind—her mind knew that they were still strangers.
She was relieved when the door opened and her father exited.
“My dear,” he said. “What are you doing out here on your own?”
“I am simply waiting for Nathaniel,” she said. Her father nodded, but then just sidled to one side.
“I see. And the two of you… Are you really content?”
Why was everybody questioning her today? It was exceedingly annoying.
“Yes, Father. We are perfectly happy. Why?” She recalled her father talking to her husband and how displeased he had looked. “Do you want us not to get along? I thought you had made your?—”
“We did. I only thought that he was more…” He waved a hand. “It does not matter. As long as you are happy.”
“I am,” she said. Her father sat beside her on the stone steps, and she joined him.
They hadn’t sat this way together for quite some time.
Something could always come between them.
His desire to place obligations upon her that were not her own to bear.
His wishes to marry her off to someone she didn’t want…
“Father, why did you never talk to me about what I wished? What I desired?”
He shrugged. “I suppose I always thought of what was best for us as a family, as opposed to what was best for each individual.”
She wanted to say, ‘You only thought about what was best for you,’ but bit the words back. There was no reason to upset her father further.
“I see. Did you not care if I was happy?”
“I did,” he said. “Very much. And you are happy now, with your handsome, rich fellow.”
She shrugged. “I am. We are still getting to know one another and…”
A thought came to her. Her father had been a frequent patron of the gentleman’s club before having to stop because his bills were getting out of hand. Could it be that he could put her mind at ease?
She turned to him. “Father? I have a question to ask you, and I need you to tell me the truth.”
“Of course, my dear. We have put all bygones behind us, after all. Now come—ask me. What bothers you?”
“The gentleman’s clubs. When you go there, are there ever…”
“Ladies?” he half-chuckled. “In White’s? No, my dear. They are not allowed. You know that.”
She already felt lighter.
“Now there are at other clubs, of course,” he said, and she sat up straight as an arrow.
“Other clubs? You mean Brooks and Boodle’s?”
“Brooks and Boodle’s, yes—they are White’s chief rivals. But there are others. There’s Westcott’s, there’s Wessex, there’s… some of them are less, shall we say, proper.”
“I see,” she said. “But you only ever attend White’s? You have never been to Westcott’s?”
“Why do you ask?”
She paused. “I think that is where Nathaniel goes at times.”
He grimaced. “I see. Well… I have been there a time or two.”
“And there are ladies there?”
“In the back rooms, yes. But why are you asking such questions? It is not suitable conversation for a young lady.”
She pursed her lips. Here was her chance. Surely if her father knew what Nathaniel was up to, he would tell her. They were on better footing now.
“Father,” she said, “I must ask you—do you ever see Nathaniel go into those back rooms?”
Her father eyed her, and she saw that calculating expression he sometimes got when he was trying to make their household ledgers balance.
“Evelyn,” her father replied. “You are not to ask such questions. A gentleman would never ask a lady what she does when she keeps company with her friends. And a lady should never ask what her husband does at the club. That is his private time to do as he pleases.”
“So he does something I should not know about?” she asked.
“Evelyn, I assure you, you would be happier remaining unaware of what goes on at the club. Especially a club such as Westcott’s.”
“Does he meet other women there?” she insisted.
“Evelyn—” her father said, becoming alarmed.
“No, Father. I want to know. You owe me the truth. I thought he and I were in full agreement on everything. But if there’s something I should know?—”
Her father sighed and wrung his hands together, then looked at her. “I see him at Westcott’s every now and again. And I have seen him on occasion going into the back rooms, where the ladies are.”
“Recently?”
He pressed his lips together and then let out a sigh. “I saw him last week.”
Last week… They had spent most evenings together, but there had been one evening when Nathaniel had gone out with his friend Julian and hadn’t returned until late.
He said that they had gone to see a play—but hadn’t she smelled a perfume on him that was unfamiliar to her?
Of course, there were many ladies wearing perfume at the theater, but still.
If the woman he had seen at the club—was it her scent she had smelled?
And Halston had said the same thing. That he was still seeing other women—that he wasn’t being truthful with her?
She would not have believed her father had he said this weeks ago, but they had made amends. He had done what he said he would—he had helped her.
He wouldn’t lie to her. Not now. He wouldn’t risk their relationship.
Her heart sank. Nathaniel… Why did I believe him? She should have listened to her father.
No. Maybe her father was lying. Maybe even if Nathaniel had been seen with a woman, there was no proof he had done anything. He had promised her honesty.
She had to see him. She had to talk to him.
She got up. “Thank you, Father.”
“Evelyn, do not be too harsh with him. He’s a gentleman. This is what some gentlemen do from time to time.”
“Did you?” she asked, and he flinched. He clasped his hands between his knees and shook his head.
“No. I never did. Your mother would not have approved. And I would not have wanted to hurt her like that.”
“I see,” Evelyn said, her heart aching. She turned to leave.
“Evelyn,” he called after her. “Pray, there’s something I need to tell you…”
“Not now, Father,” she said, and returned inside. She had to talk to Nathaniel, and she had to do it now.
Table of Contents
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