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SEPTEMBER 9, 2022

Nemo

They’d just gotten off yet another frustrating conference call with Mythos, neither side gaining any sight or sound, not even a breath of a rumor, on the location of Haskell or her alter ego, Le Chatte Noire. Nemo was starting to fear the worst.

It’s been five weeks since they told us she’d been missing, but she’d already been missing for one week by then. She’s good, but how did she disappear so completely? Even from Midas?

Scheherazade on his heels, he was storming off to the gym to work off his frustrations yet again, a place he was spending way too much time in when the emergency line rang simultaneously on everyone’s watches. Each of the team and the women had their own ringtone so that everyone would know if there was a true emergency. Everyone was in the office, so whose code was it?

Cherry’s not here!

“Fuck,” Nemo whispered. “Guys! I think that’s Cherry’s code!”

Demon snapped. “I’ve got it.” He clicked his alarm button and put it on speaker. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the café on Fifth and Rodeo. There’s a pressure-plate bomb. It’s packed here, and this is above my skills.”

“Goddammit!” Demon glanced at the other men in the hallway. “You on it or someone else?”

There was a slight pause. “A… a friend.”

Nemo swore he heard a cracking sound. Probably the enamel on Demon’s teeth as he ground them together rather than yell at their handler.

“Okay, stay calm, Cherry. We’re on our way.”

All of the men began checking personal weapons as they moved with purpose to the elevator. Nemo grabbed the sweater on the back of Cherry’s desk chair in the lobby, then he punched the down button while Waters alarmed the building except for the underground garage. Their team leader immediately began to dial God on his cell phone.

No answer.

What the hell? God always answers.

Demon snarled, “Cherry, tell him to remain perfectly still.”

“It’s a her,” she corrected.

There was a pause where obvious relief showed on Demon’s face, followed quickly by guilt. “Feck. Okay. How’s she doing?”

“She’s okay. Freaked out. Didn’t believe me at first. But she’s calmer than I would be.”

“Is she sitting or standing?”

“Sitting. It’s under her chair. I heard the click when she sat down.” There was a catch in Cherry’s voice. “Please get here and get her out of this! ”

“We’re all going to stay on the line. I need you to do something for me, okay?”

By this time, the guys were all in the elevator. Midas and TB had their keys at the ready. When the door opened at the garage level, they flew out and divided up into two vehicles. Midas went behind the wheel of his Bronco, Steel in the passenger seat, with Nemo and Scheherazade in the back. TB was behind the wheel of his Humvee with Waters in the passenger seat and Demon in the back.

“Cherry, are you listening to me? Get that tight ass of yours out of there right now, you hear me?”

There was silence for a moment. The guys in Nemo’s vehicle exchanged looks all around.

What the fuck was that?

Nemo could only imagine the looks Demon was getting right now.

“I can’t leave her, Demon. She’s scared enough.”

Waters tried to deflect. “It’s not fair to ask you to stay, Cherry. If that thing has a remote on it, and it goes off, or if she shifts for some reason, you’re both going to get blown sky-high. Please do what we’re telling you to do.”

“I’m not leaving her, Waters.”

Demon came back over the line, a little less agitated, but not by much. “Clear that café as quickly and quietly as you can. Don’t cause panic if you can avoid it. Remind her not to shift her weight in any way. Keep her breathing evenly, all right? Try to get her to a five-second pattern. Breathe in for five, breathe out for five. No deep breaths that are going to change her weight distribution. Just nice and easy, okay?”

“I’ll try.”

“Better do fecking more than try. I swear to every Irish saint, I’m going to tie you to your desk when this is over.”

“Wow,” Midas mouthed .

Steel had a little smirk going at the corner of his mouth. “Fucking finally.”

When they arrived at the café, Nemo put the sweater with Cherry’s scent on it in front of Scheherazade’s nose. While this was a true emergency, and he could see Cherry from where he stood, it couldn’t hurt to put the dog through a test run.

“Scheherazade, vind Cherry !”

Tail up, the dog put her nose to the ground and began to search. She went in circles a bit, then found a trail that led straight to the woman in question.

The outside courtyard of the café was clear except for one girl in a wrought iron chair at the far end of the garden fenced-in area. Her hands lay on top of the armrests, not gripping them, but Nemo could tell she wanted to. Nemo and Demon walked up the sidewalk toward the café while the others formed a mini-command center on the hood of Midas’ Bronco.

Nemo could actually feel Demon vibrating. “Cherry, get your ass around this fence right now and into one of the vehicles.”

Her eyes were blazing. “I am not leaving Haskell alone. I’ve already told you that. My decision is final.”

Nemo inhaled sharply. “Kitty cat?” He looked closer at the woman frozen in the chair.

What are the fucking odds?

The woman’s slight frame tensed, her fingers now gripping the arms of the chair. “Fancy meeting you here,” Haskell quipped nervously .

Nemo swallowed tightly, his mouth completely dry. He rubbed at the spot above his heart as if touching the numbers there would somehow ease the pain and tightness.

“Cherry-girl,” Nemo coaxed, “Demon’s about to bust a vein if you don’t move, and I’ve got Haskell. I’m here. She’s not alone anymore.”

“But…” Cherry darted a quick look at her.

“Cherry,” Haskell said, “It’s okay. Go.”

Nemo closed his eyes, inhaled long, exhaled slowly, and reopened his eyes.

Crossing to the other end of the table, he hopped the fence in a one-handed vault and motioned to Scheherazade to back off. “ Vryheid !” With a yip, the dog backed off her target, looked at Haskell, sniffed, gave a soft chuff, and looked at Nemo.

“ Goeie meisie ,” he praised the dog. When he looked down at Haskell, his face was sporting his patented playboy smile, looking for all the world like there was no emergency at all.

Forget “emergency.” This is a total clusterfuck.

“Hello there, kitty cat. Heard you’re having seating issues.”

Haskell’s eyes were wide, and her smile was shaky. “Yeah, I’ve been told I have a hot ass, but this is a little ridiculous.” She was trying to joke, trying not to panic, but Nemo heard the terror all the same.

“Well, I’m just going to take a look-see and give my vote on how hot that is, shall I?” He winked at her. “Just keep breathing in and out slowly for me. No shifting your weight, and I promise, I’ll be gentle.”

Cherry rolled her eyes. “Really, Nemo? Jokes? Now?”

Nemo lay on his side, his head turned up to the bottom of the seat Haskell was sitting on, and began taking a series of photos with his phone. “You’re just jealous I’m not staring at your ‘tight ass’ that someone mentioned earlier.”

Demon had Cherry molded to his chest, his head tilted down to look at her. “Nemo’s got this. Let’s get you down to the cars, or I am going to spank that ass so hard you won’t sit for a week. Move. Now.”

“Baby Jesus and all the fishermen, what is the matter with you?” Cherry groused at the medic.

Nemo barked out a laugh. “Looks like someone else has been spending too many girls’ book-talk nights with Sylvan. Midas is going to run out of board space for all the new creative swear words.”

“Cherry, I am not going to say it again. If you don’t do what I tell you to, you are not going to like the results,” Demon warned. “Let the bomb guy take care of this.”

“Aww, Demon, I never knew you thought I was the bomb.” Nemo couldn’t resist teasing the medic as he continued to take pictures of what he was looking at.

“Shut up, motherfecker.” Demon’s Irish accent got more pronounced the more upset he was. It sounded like the guy was going to implode.

“Midas. I’m uploading some photos to you now.”

“Copy.”

Nemo looked up at Cherry. “Cherry, go. Demon’s going to have an aneurysm if you don’t get out of here. Besides that, I can see right up your skirt from where I am, and I’m going to be here a while, so unless you want me drooling over your pretty blue panties, go.”

Demon growled, and Cherry squawked. Both backed up two steps.

There were chuckles all around on the comms that had now been activated.

Demon growled again and handed an earbud to Cherry. “You can hear everything and talk to her, but only if you go back to the cars. ”

Haskell spoke up again. “Cherry, listen to them. You don’t need to be here for this.”

“But—”

“‘But’ nothing. Get the hell out of here.”

“But—”

“Go!” Nemo and Haskell told her at the same time.

Cherry huffed but took the earbud. “Haskell, the boys sound like dipshits, but they really do know what they’re doing. I won’t be far.”

She stuffed the worm-looking device in her ear while Demon put one in Haskell’s ear, and as soon as it was in, he threw Cherry over his shoulder. “Don’t get dead, Nemo,” he advised, and then he took off with the team’s handler, screaming like a banshee at him and pummeling his back with her well-manicured fists.

Nemo chuckled from under the chair. “I would not want to be him.”

Haskell gave a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, he seems a bit possessive. They been together long?”

“They’re not together. They barely talk at the office, so his temper tantrum is going to make for great betting opportunities.” He gently pushed himself out from under her chair and sat up. “Well, kitty cat, you are one hundred percent goat-fucked, as my Navy SEAL friends would say. This is the hottest ass I’ve ever seen.”

“Hashtag life goals,” Haskell mumbled under her breath.

“Hey.” Nemo got serious. “I gotcha, kitty cat. Just keep breathing slow, don’t shift, and we’ll be out of this, and I’ll be able to take your hot ass out on a date.” He winked at her, then turned his focus to the dog. “Scheherazade, vind Cherry !”

The dog took off with a leap over the fence line and went in the direction Demon had gone with Cherry. Then he began a conversation with his team over the earbuds .

“Okay, boys, we have got a plate so hot here, it’s scalding. I sent Zade out of here for safety. You get my artwork, Midas?”

“Got ’em, little bro. Downloading now.”

“Your brother is still your eye in the sky?”

“Yup.”

“Is the dog that was just here yours?”

“Yep. Scheherazade. Egyptian street dog. I rescued her and her two puppies while I was there and decided to train her as a working dog.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“She is. Smart, too.”

Feet came running toward them, causing Nemo to sit up and then stand. He brushed off his ass from lying on the ground, then reached to grab the small tool kit from Waters on the other side.

“Thanks. Now get the hell back. If I get blown sky-high and you go with me, Kubrick will find a way to raise us from the dead, kick your ass for being so stupid, and kill me again for being the reason you died.”

Grinning, the man slapped him on the shoulder. “I would not bet against that. However, I wanted to see the situation for myself before I started making boss-like decisions.”

The man walked down the fence line a few steps and looked into the girl’s face. “Hello there, Haskell. My name is Waters. You doing okay?”

“As well as can be expected, I’m guessing.”

He smiled at her. “Actually, it looks like you’re doing great. Just do everything Nemo tells you to do and do it when he tells you to do it.”

Nemo grinned. “See? You have to do everything I say. That could be fun.”

Waters smacked him upside the back of the head before turning his attention back to Haskell. “Ignore his jokes. He really is very good at what he does, despite his terrible sense of humor. And timing. Do what he tells you, and you’ll be out of here in no time, got it?”

She nodded. “Got it.”

“All right, Nemo,” Waters said. “I’m dropping back. We’re all in the channel, so just yell out if you need something.”

Nemo flipped him off.

Waters double-checked the hearing device in Haskell’s ear. “Earbud check. Cherry, say something.”

“Demon is grounded from surfing for a week.”

“Good luck with that one,” Steel drawled.

“I’m being grounded for what?” Demon sputtered.

“For being a Neanderthal,” Cherry accused.

“Can a leprechaun be a Neanderthal?” TB asked.

Nemo could hear Demon growling over the airwaves at everyone.

“Okay. Hang in there, kitty cat. This will all be over soon.”

“One way or another,” she muttered.

“Hey,” Nemo said, “remember, I gotcha, kitty cat. We’ve got a date. You can’t sneak away on me after I’ve saved your life.”

She rolled her eyes at him.

“What’s the eye roll for?”

“Just… look, I appreciate the chitchat and trying to distract me to keep me calm and all, but could you just do whatever it is you need to do and try to keep us in one piece?”

“Nemo,” Midas broke in, “I don’t mean to bust your moves, but you’ve got a problem. Put the goggles on.”

Nemo shook his head and said to Haskell, “You’re not getting out of our date, kitty cat.” Then to his brother, “What’s the problem, bro?”

“Cerberus.”

Opening the tool kit Waters brought him, Nemo took out several items, then dropped onto his back again on the ground. “I don’t see anything. Where, Midas?”

“Bottom left as you’re looking at it.”

In order to see where Midas was directing him, the fit under the chair was tight. With an awkward shove to his right socket, the joint seemed to stack the shoulder on top and behind its normal placement. Now there was room for him to fit. Not comfortably, but at least into a position that was less likely to jostle the chair while he was underneath it. Using his shoulder blades and hips, he crab-walked himself back under the chair. Once he was directly under it, he put on a pair of magnifying lenses, grabbed the penlight in his pocket, turned it on, and flashed it onto the casing of the device attached there.

Sure enough, a Cerberus stamp was present.

“Well, hello there, little doggie. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Be careful, little bro,” Midas reminded him.

“Yes, big bro,” Nemo mocked. “I’m thrilled you care, but I got this.”

Oh yeah. I got this. No problem. Bastard is the best explosives guy on Earth. How the hell did Haskell get on his radar?

“Okay, kitty cat, how are you doing up there?”

“I’m getting tired, Sawyer,” she admitted.

“Well, we can’t have that. All the guys will say I was a boring date, and I have a reputation to protect.”

There was a mumble in the background. “Did she just call him ‘Sawyer’?”

“Shut it, guys,” Midas warned.

He flashed the penlight around to look for secondary triggers. He didn’t see any, but that didn’t mean there weren’t any there. Cerberus didn’t use them as a rule, and bomb makers tended to be incredibly OCD on their signatures and methods, but there was always a chance that he’d try to “grow” his skillset.

He turned off the penlight and sighed silently. Things were about to get loud. And messy.

“Waters, how far back is everyone?”

“Café has been evacuated. We’re about a hundred meters back. The blue line is likely to be here quickly, though.”

Nemo hauled himself out from underneath the chair. “I’m going to need something solid to get under and get under quickly. It will need to fit three of us.”

“Shit,” Midas breathed out over the mic.

“Relax, bro.”

“You know he’s watching.”

“I know, Midas. Relax.”

Waters broke in, “What’s going on, guys?”

Nemo started rooting around in his front pocket and brought out a piece of gum. “Focus, people. We need something that three people can dive into that’s fire retardant, and we need it yesterday.”

TB asked, “Can’t you just snip some wires or MacGyver that shit to prevent it from blowing up?”

“No, Tiny Brain, I can’t,” Nemo answered his work nemesis, TB, as he unwrapped the gum, stuck it in his mouth, folded the gum wrapper in half, smoothing out as many of the wrinkles in it as he could, and inserted it into the mechanism, being extremely careful not to touch the trigger hammer. “And even if I could, I wouldn’t dare try.” His voice was garbled around the sugary confection in his mouth.

“Okay, TB and Steel, the best thing we got right now is a dumpster in the alleyway behind the café.”

“On it, boss,” TB replied. Nemo could hear the sounds of running feet as the pair disappeared down the alleyway .

“Sorry, Nemo and Haskell, but you’re gonna need a serious shower when you’re done here,” Waters apologized.

“Been there, done that, burned the T-shirt.” Nemo chuckled, remembering how, during the rescue of Flame, TB’s woman, he’d ended up losing a battle with a dumpster.

“What’s going on?” Haskell asked.

Nemo reached his opposite hand back behind the oddly placed shoulder joint, giving it a sharp, quick yank. Now it appeared to be in its proper position. He massaged it absently as he stepped in front of Haskell and got down on one knee, his forearms leaning on the bent knee. “How are your legs feeling, kitty cat?”

“Like noodles,” she confessed nervously.

“So I’ve got the proverbial bad news and good news. The bad news is that I can’t defuse this thing. No matter what I do to it, it’ll trip the timer, and I can’t see how long we have between the click and the boom. The good news is that two of my friends went to grab a dumpster from the alley. What’s going to happen is, once they bring that dumpster here, they’re going to open it, they’re going to put one of these chairs in front of it.” Nemo nodded to the chair she was sitting in. “One of them is going to get in the dumpster and serve as our doorman. When the second guy clears the area, I’m going to grab you, throw you over my shoulder, and we’re going to do a little dumpster diving.” Nemo winked. “Nothing’s too classy for my girl on our first date.”

“Do you have a twitch?” Haskell asked.

“Huh?”

“A twitch. Your eye. It winks a lot.”

He was stunned. Then he grinned.

The laughter on the comms was almost deafening.

“She’s got your number, bro,” Midas threw out .

He started clearing chairs and tables that were in the pathway of getting her directly to the dumpster.

TB and Steel came trotting in, pushing the unwieldy container up the alley. His twin gave him encouragement over the comms. “Demon’s right. Don’t get dead.”

“No worries, bro. Not the first time I’ve done this.”

“Yeah, but the last time, you had a lead bathtub to dive into and a lead fire blanket to cover yourself with. Now you’re going to have extra weight, plus a small hill to climb.”

“Relax, Midas,” Nemo reassured him. “She’s a tiny-ass little thing. Maybe weighs a hundred pounds, and you and I both know I’ll have several seconds before the big bang.”

“No guarantees on how many, Nemo, so just be careful.”

TB was already in the dumpster, holding onto the open lid.

“I drew the short straw, Nutsack, so let’s get going here.”

“Aww, see, I knew you loved me. Together to the end, Total Butch to my Sundance.”

“Fucker. Let’s go.”

Nemo got down into a crouch again in front of Haskell and smiled into her bright blue eyes. “Okay, kitty cat, you ready for some fun?”

“No, but I’m not ready to be dead yet, either.”

“Thatta girl. When I say ‘three,’ I need you to go limp for me, you got it? I won’t be touching you yet, so you need to trust that I’m going to grab you on the number four and get us out of here. Can you do that?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“Once we get you out of here, we’ll get you somewhere safe where you can clean up, and then you and I are gonna head out on that date.”

She huffed at him.

“Hey, I’m not kidding. I’m way hungry for tacos. It’s Tuesday, after all, and I can’t let the girl with the hottest ass in town eat dinner all alone on Taco Tuesday.”

“That sounds so wrong,” TB muttered.

Nemo’s focus on Haskell never wavered. “Ready?” he asked, his expression serious for the first time.

“Yes. Thank you,” she said.

“No need to thank me. Just don’t want you losing one of those nine lives.” The words were flirty, but the expression was still serious. “Okay, here we go. One. Two. Three.”

As he said three, he watched and felt her sag forward. In the space of the second it would have taken to say “four,” he drove his shoulder underneath her falling form, wrapped that arm around her knees, stood, and sprinted for the chair in front of the dumpster. He heard the explosion and felt its impact as he leapt from the chair’s seat, diving with Haskell’s body beneath his into the garbage bags inside the dumpster, and TB dropped the lid just as the fireball was extending toward their iron box.

The concussion of the explosion lifted the dumpster off the ground a couple of feet, and it came back down hard, about ten feet back from where it had been, as well as on its side.

After the dumpster stopped moving, Haskell lay beneath Nemo’s body. He raised his head to make sure she was okay. Reassured when her eyes opened, he said, “You look great, kitty cat, but we need to talk about this new perfume you’ve got on,” he quipped.

Haskell replied, “You don’t smell any better, burglar boy. But I sure as shite look better than you. What animal attached itself to your face and died? Scruffy. Yuck.”

Nemo looked down into her eyes. She smiled. He smiled.

Fuck, I’m in love with a kitty cat.