Page 4 of Needed in the Night (The Fortusian Mates, #2)

With a curse, Ergin stopped and turned to face the Erotovo and his entourage. She planted her feet, braced herself, and began firing, sending the Erotovo and his men scrambling for cover. “Go!” she shouted over her shoulder at us .

The finality in her voice turned my stomach to lead. Oh, no. No, no, no . I couldn’t let Ergin sacrifice herself for us. There had to be another way—there had to be.

I got Novee to the ship’s ramp and shoved her as hard as I could toward the crew members coming down to meet us. “Take her,” I shouted as Novee stumbled into one’s arms. “And throw me a weapon.”

The rest of the crew continued firing back at the Erotovo and his guards. But instead of giving me a plasma rifle, the two Ymarians who’d met us grabbed Novee and me and dragged us up the ramp.

The engines powered up, sending a blast of energy and displaced air across the landing pad. The sound of the engines drowned out all other noise, including the weapons fire behind us.

My rage and panic gave me strength despite the agony of my wounds. I fought to free myself. “No! Let me go back for Ergin!”

“She is gone,” one of the Ymarians grated, tightening their grip on my arm. They were far stronger than they looked. “There is nothing to go back for.”

I twisted around to look behind me.

Ergin, or what was left of her, lay in a heap on the landing pad. Anger and grief sliced through my insides like a scythe. The cry that came out of my mouth was so guttural that it didn’t sound human.

“It was fast,” the other Ymarian crew member said, their voice strangely distant as if they were speaking to me down a long tunnel. “She did not suffer.”

A last volley of plasma fire drove us back from the open door as the ramp retracted. Brae darted into the cargo bay unnoticed by the crew and slipped into the shadows on the ceiling.

With a roar of thrusters, the carrier lifted off the platform. I lost sight of the Erotovo, his guards, and Ergin’s body .

Every ounce of adrenaline and determination that had kept me on my feet and allowed me to all but carry Novee to the ship evaporated. As Novee let out a cry of alarm, my vision grayed and my knees gave out. No one caught me before I hit the deck.

Merciful darkness swept me away.

I woke to full-body aches and the sound of sobs.

Once my vision cleared, I found myself on a bunk in a tiny crew cabin smaller than my closet in the palace on Ngara. Novee had curled up with me, her face buried against my unburned arm as she cried. I didn’t have the strength to find something comforting to say.

At some point while I’d been unconscious, our half-burned coveralls had been cut off and our boots removed, leaving us in bare feet and what remained of our bodysuits.

I was shivering. The ship was colder than I expected, or maybe I was in shock.

Or both. At least they’d given us a blanket to share.

Someone had put analgesic patches on us so our pain was muted. Whatever drug was in the patch was strong. My stomach churned, my brain felt cottony, and my thoughts echoed inside my skull.

Brae? I asked, blinking up at the ceiling as it faded in and out of focus.

I frighten Novee , my shadowbat replied, his voice quiet—or maybe that was a result of my brain fog. So I’m keeping watch on the ship and its crew to make sure you’re safe. Rest.

I wanted him beside me for comfort and reassurance, but it did help to know he was monitoring what the crew was doing since I was in no shape to do so myself. Thank you , I told him.

Through the bunk and the bulkhead next to us, the steady thrumming of engines told me we had left Ngaran space and were now traveling at hyperspeed .

I had no idea what our destination might be, when or if someone might come to treat our injuries, and whether the way we were all but ignored meant the crew hated or resented us because Ergin had died.

What I did know was that I ached from my soul outward. The gutting memory of Ergin’s ruined body lying crumpled and still replayed in my mind in an endless loop. Every mission, whether it ended well or badly or somewhere in between, contributed fuel for my never-ending nightmares.

Unbidden, the Erotovo’s rage and roar echoed in my head: I will hunt you down across the galaxy for this crime!

I took a deep, shaky breath that hurt my ribs and back. Where would I go now with him hunting me, hells-bent on retribution?

My false identity as Halena offered some assurance, but nothing was certain.

Not only did the Erotovo’s vast wealth and connections put me in danger, but they infinitely complicated future missions because if he or his agents found me, he’d blow my cover and possibly endanger the Web’s operations.

My handler might opt not to use me as an agent anymore, or at least until the furor over Novee's rescue died down and the Erotovo lost interest in me—however long that took. Whether my churning insides were the result of those fears, my wounds, or both, I couldn’t tell.

By the time a grim crew member came with a medical kit, Novee had cried herself out and fallen asleep, my painkillers had mostly worn off, and the air in our little cabin had become thick with the odors of burned hair and flesh.

Two hours later, the medic departed, leaving us bandaged, mostly healed, and acutely nauseated from intensive muscle, tissue, and dermal repair procedures.

We would have some scars on our backs, but not as severe or extensive as I’d feared.

We’d also gotten new analgesic patches, so at least we weren’t in pain anymore—at least, not physically .

Just as my nausea began to lessen, I received confirmation from my Web handler via long-range transmission that I had been deactivated as an agent indefinitely. I was too numb and sick to my stomach to feel much at the news except hollowness and the sensation of being adrift.

The brief message stated that when this ship arrived on Fyloria, I would be given assistance with altering my appearance.

I would also receive a new identity, one-way transport to a world of my choosing, and a small stipend to tide me over until I found work.

I was not to reach out to my handler under any circumstances.

At least I wouldn’t be cut off completely. Once I chose my destination, I’d get the name of a local agent who’d be my contact there. They would help me if I found myself in danger.

And just like that, not only had I lost my job but my identity and sense of purpose too. The enormity of it all hadn’t sunk in yet. It probably wouldn’t until after I got my new identity and boarded a transport for some world a long way from Ngara.

Everything about who I was now was tied into my work for the Web. Who was I without my mission? I didn’t know.

When Novee asked to share my bunk for the night rather than move to another cabin, it didn’t occur to me to refuse. I needed comfort too.

As the crew went about their business outside our closed door under Brae’s watchful eyes, Novee and I lay in near darkness, watching stars and planets streak by at hyperspeed outside the window. Our heads lay next to each other and her cool hand rested on mine.

The crew had given us spare uniforms to wear, food, water, and a bottle of Probytian moonshine, which was now open and two-thirds empty. We’d lost the cork somewhere in the bedding.

“I am sorry,” Novee said, her gaze on the window that slanted over us above the bunk. Starlight reflected on the blue tears rolling down her face. “You have lost everything because of me.”

“Nothing that happened today was caused by you. It was the Erotovo’s doing,” I stated, my voice quiet but firm. “And I haven’t lost everything. This is only temporary. I’ll be an agent again as soon as it’s safe.”

“If that is what you want, I hope it comes to pass.” Her long fingers curled around mine. “Your work is never really safe , though, is it?”

“No.” I couldn’t pretend otherwise. “But it’s worth it.”

“Damn the Erotovo.” She trembled. “If he finds you…”

“He won’t. It’s a big galaxy.” I’d keep telling myself that until I believed it.

“He’ll lose interest after a while. People like him always find a new obsession.

This is like a furlough, or a vacation.” I took a breath that was shakier than I wanted it to be.

“Maybe it’s for the best. This was my fifth mission in a row. I’m tired.”

“Then you are due for a rest.” She squeezed my fingers. “Halena, how do I live knowing Ergin died so I could be free?”

This wasn’t the first time someone had asked me such a question.

My own extraction had gone smoothly, so I couldn’t claim I knew how Novee felt.

Time and experience had granted me insight, though, and I’d come to understand what survivors needed was honesty—and never to offer empty platitudes.

As such, I had a better answer now than I’d had in my early days as an agent.

“Every day you live as a free woman, you honor her,” I said.

“Every happy moment you experience, every milestone you reach, even every perfectly ordinary day you have in whatever life you choose to live after this—they’re all a blessing on her memory.

” I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat and said the hard part.

“You won’t get to the point that you accept and believe that for a while, and you’ll have hard days.

Dark days. Sleepless nights. But there will be happiness, Novee. I promise.”

“I think you were once in my place.” When I didn’t deny it, she asked, “Are you happy?”

“Not at the moment,” I admitted. “My heart hurts. But overall—yes, I am happy. Because I’m free. And now so are you. Give yourself time to adjust and be kind to yourself. You’ve been through a lot.”

She nestled her head closer to mine. “I will try.”

Her natural scent was sweet. I hoped my own wasn’t too off-putting. The ship only had sonic cleansers and neither of us had any scented toiletries. At least we no longer smelled of smoke and our own burned skin.

“After tomorrow, I will never see you again?” she asked.

We both already knew the answer, but she’d phrased it as a question, so I replied, “No. It wouldn’t be safe for either of us, especially you.”

“All right.” Her voice wobbled. “Where will you go? What will you do?”

For better or worse, I’d made those decisions after a talk with Brae and three big gulps from our bottle of moonshine.

I couldn’t tell Novee exactly what my plans were since that would undermine the security of my hiding place, but I could answer in broad terms so she knew I had something good to look forward to—something more than months or years of hiding from the Erotovo.

“I’m going someplace beautiful,” I said. “It’s a planet I’ve always wanted to visit. And I think I might try to be a singer there.”

“A singer?” She’d started to reach over me for the bottle of moonshine, but paused to look down at my face. Her eyes lit up with real interest and excitement for the first time since we’d met. “Oh, Halena, do you sing? ”

Despite my heavy heart, I smiled, at least for a moment. “I do.”

“I did not know.” She took a drink from the bottle and offered it to me. When I shook my head, she returned it to the table and settled back in beside me. “Will you please sing for me?”

I thought of how beautifully Novee danced and grimaced. “I haven’t warmed up, and my throat is scratchy?—”

Her cool fingertips caressed my arm in a very pleasant way. “Please.”

I relented. “What would you like to hear?”

“Anything you like.”

I sifted through the list of songs I knew and settled on a simple tune from Havel Prime that was wistful but not sad, and not particularly vocally demanding.

Thanks to my injuries and smoke inhalation, my voice was rough and shaky, my vocal range was limited, and my lungs were unable to get the full breath I needed for long notes, but I sang for her anyway. Novee stroked my arm and listened.

My voice had once been the reason for my captivity and had belonged to my owners. Now my voice was my own. When I sang, it was my way of being free. And if Novee danced in her new life, I hoped it would be for herself, on her terms. It was the very least she deserved.

When I finished the song, Novee kissed my bare shoulder very lightly. “Thank you,” she said, and pulled the covers over us. “Gods grant, your beautiful voice is what I will remember of this day and the rest will fade from memory,” she murmured, and tucked herself against my arm.

I leaned my head against hers, closed my eyes, and listened to her breathe and the engines hum until sleep claimed me.