Page 27

Keltania

The transfer is underway now. I don’t need anyone to tell me—I can feel it. Slight waves of vertigo come and go. Every once in a while, a spike of nauseous and painful pressure builds in my chest and at the base of my neck, but other than that? There’s nothing that resembles what happened when Valen was given panashere. That nearly killed me, so shouldn’t this be just as bad—if not worse? Other than a whisper of uncertainty, there’s…nothing.

An hour later, there’s a knock on the door, and Delkin pokes his head inside. “Everything okay in here?”

I sag back against the wall. Aside from being a bit tired, I’m fine. “Is it over?”

Delkin studies me for a moment before nodding. “You seem…all right.”

I am—which makes me wonder if it even worked. “Is Valen okay?”

I haven’t felt anything from him. There was a brief whisper of uncertainty, of fear, then…nothing. Zana warned me it was a possibility we’d lose our ability to communicate, too, and that it should be temporary.

“Zana walked him back to his room,” Delkin says. “He’s waiting for you.”

I nod and head to the window.

But he grabs my arm. “Where are you going?”

“I can’t let someone see me walk into his room.” I gesture to the open window. “This is what I always do.”

Delkin shakes his head. “No one will think twice about one of the Winter Lord’s most trusted friends looking in on him.”

“Won’t they?” I sigh. The weight of it is crushing all of a sudden. The mistrust, the hushed accusations—the hate. “Remember—to them, I’m the enemy. Most of them still believe I’m part of this whole mess. For all I know, they’ll believe I’m sneaking in to kill him.”

I should appreciate the look of sympathy in his eyes, but all it does is make me feel worse. He claps a hand on my shoulder. “The important people know the truth.”

I don’t correct him. They’re Winter Fae. Valen’s people. They’re all important.

And they all still want me gone.

Carefully, I pad down the hall to Valen’s room. When I push through the door, he’s on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

“You okay?” I close the door behind me.

He looks up. “Are you?”

“I’m fine.” I settle next to him. He’s paler than normal, and his posture is stiff. I still can’t feel him through the link, but it’s obvious he’s in some amount of pain.

He nods. At least that’s what I think it is. It’s more a circular motion, a weird shake of his head. “Zana says we won’t know right away if it worked.” He snorts. “In fact, she said it could take days—or weeks.”

“ Weeks? Is she sure?”

He shrugs. “There’s only one recorded instance of anyone doing this, Tania. And the information is patchy.”

“How—how did it feel?”

“Like Zana was ripping out my very soul.” He drops his head down and shudders. “It was like she pulled the chill from my body.” He laughs, but it’s a broken sound. One that makes the acid bubble in my gut. “It was…it was so much worse than when Liani took donations .”

I stand and smooth a stray lock of hair from his eyes. He’s sweating. That never happens. “You should rest. Do you need anything before I go?”

He scooches back to the middle of the bed and draws his knees in close. “I need you,” he says softly. “To stay here with me.”

“Valen, no—”

“Please.” When he lifts his head and our eyes meet, something tears straight through me. “The transfer hollowed me out. It sucked out the thing that makes me…me.” He stretches toward me, takes my hand. “I need you close. Just for a little while. Because she might have pulled out part of the thing that makes me who I am, but the other part? That’s you.”

I let him tug me onto the bed, then snuggle in close as he wraps his arm tight around my waist. A single tear slips down my cheek, and the link inadvertently opens, letting everything rush into him. All the longing, all the love. Fear that we’ll never again have what we do in this single, stolen moment.

He shudders at the sudden onslaught of emotion, then takes a shaky breath. “I need to make sure you understand something, Tania.” His voice is strained, sleep pulling him under. “I need to make sure you know that no matter what happens, you are my heart and my soul. Everything good that I am—that I might one day become? It is all because of you.”

I cover his hand with mine, biting down hard to keep from replying. If I speak, there’s no coming back. Lying here with him feels right in a way I never thought anything could. It’s heaven, and it’s home, and it’s not something I want to give up. This is making it harder for both of us in the long run, yet I can’t make myself stand and leave the room.

His exhaustion hits me, and my eyes drift closed. He’s whispering. Soft, mumbled words I can’t quite make out. I don’t need to, though. Just the sound of his voice is enough to lull me to sleep.

…

When I wake, I slip quietly from Valen’s bed, creeping from his room as he sleeps peacefully. I’m edgy, so I head to the courtyard for some fresh air and discover I’m not the only one who had the idea.

“Tania.” Gensted straightens and sheathes his sword. “I found it odd you weren’t at Valen’s side during the transfer.”

“I had to redo some of the wards on the estate.” I hold up my hand to show him the glittering white druid sigil in the center of my palm. “How are you feeling after the whole thing? Any different?”

“No.” He settles on the larger stone bench near the pond.

“It might take some time.” I sit next to him. “Do you know anything about your ancestors’ power?”

“Aside from not wanting anything to do with it? I’ve heard stories—tales of destruction and chaos. But nothing is written. All of the recorded history from my court was lost in the war.”

“We lost a lot, too.” Lunal still has records, but all the things outside of our village are long gone. “We looked at it as a clean slate, though. A chance to start over. Fix our mistakes.”

“And did you?”

“Remains to be seen. Things are definitely different now.”

“Indeed.” He studies me for a moment before resting his hands in his lap. “Might I speak freely?”

A chill skitters up my spine. “Of course.”

“If I regain my court’s magic, it will be fire.”

“I know.”

“That doesn’t…concern you?”

“Should it?”

“Didn’t Aphelian mention your Omen of Ice embracing fire?” He frowns. “What if by embracing fire, it means what we’ve done here today? Aren’t you worried I’ll turn on you?”

Like Valen, I’m worried about Wren. And Suveo…that’s another issue. But Gensted? Since the night we fought together in his village, I’ve had zero doubts about him or his motives. Maybe I shouldn’t, but… “I trust you.”

The declaration doesn’t seem to faze him. “As I trust you. But what if it’s unintentional? What if something I do causes…”

“There’s a lot we still don’t know.” Is it a possibility? Yes. But, if something were to happen, I don’t believe Gensted would be at fault. “We’re still trying to figure things out.”

“If there’s anything I can do to help…” Gen tilts his head to the side, and the scrutiny makes me shift uncomfortably.

“I appreciate it.” I stand and gesture for him to follow me, then start down the path toward the main gate. I tug on a low-hanging branch to grab a handful of hilpberries and send a puff of featherlight snow scattering into the air.

The rare trees line the path coming up to the estate. Most of the Fae here take them for granted, but when I first arrived, they’d made one hell of an impression on me. I offer one to Gensted. “Try this. It’s delicious—”

When we reach the gate, it’s swarming with Winter Guards.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“We’re collecting the debris left by the enemy,” one of the guards says. She’s young, and I’ve never seen her before.

Flarion, Celpin’s former second-in-command, is behind her. He slaps a hand against the fence and snarls. The sound reverberates down the path. “You don’t owe her an explanation, Fawn! She’s beneath you.”

Gensted stiffens beside me. “Excuse me?”

“She’s Lord Valen’s advisor,” Fawn says. Her gaze bounces between Flarion and Gensted, and she takes a step back. “She’s just—”

“Just what?” Flarion stares at me. The level of hate in his eyes is almost enough to make me back away. “Just coming to inspect the chaos she helped create?”

Fawn gasps. “Flarion! Bite your tongue.”

“It’s fine.” I turn to leave, dropping my head down in hopes that Gensted won’t see the flush of embarrassment in my face. I should be used to this by now, but it stings every time. “Gen, let’s go.”

Gensted doesn’t move. “How dare you?” he says, seething. He’s staring Flarion down like a hunter eyeing a tasty meal.

“They’re entitled to their opinions,” I tell him.

“I doubt their monarch would extend that entitlement to disrespecting one of his court,” he says, but Gensted is new here. He doesn’t know the chilly treatment I’ve gotten used to. “This woman risked her life to fight back the forces that threatened this estate, and you dare disrespect her? She nearly killed herself trying to save that village!”

“She’s an Aphelian,” Flarion says, then spits on the ground. “Just because she has Lord Valen brainwashed—”

Gensted snarls and grabs Flarion around the neck. “I am a guest here, so excuse me if this goes against your social norms, but in the Autumn Lands, disrespect of a hero comes with harsh punishment.”

The other guards drop what they’re doing and rush to Flarion’s side, but none of them dare get between the two. This has the potential to get way out of hand. But Gensted is hypnotizing. Fierce and uncompromising and heated. He reminds me a lot of the druids in Lunal. Not to mention it’s amusing to see someone put the cocky guard in his place.

But as much as I’d like to see exactly what the Autumn Fae plans to do with Flarion, I can’t let this continue. “I appreciate the gesture, Gensted, but Fae like Flarion aren’t worth your time or anger.” I wedge myself between the two.

He stares at the guard for a moment longer before letting go and stepping away. He spits on the ground. “Feel lucky you aren’t one of my men.”

Gensted storms past the gate, and I hurry to catch up.

“I appreciate that, but it wasn’t that big a deal,” I say. “I—”

A rush of cold barrels through me, and I stumble away from him. My legs go numb, and I drop to the ground, vaguely aware of Gensted’s confused cries.

“Tania! Tania, what’s wrong?”

The chill gathers at my core, spreading out and collecting at the tips of my fingers. The pain that comes with it is greater than anything I’ve ever felt. Breathing becomes difficult. “Valen,” I manage to croak out. “I need to get to—”

He doesn’t ask questions. Gensted gathers me into his arms and rushes for the house.

The trip from the courtyard to the main wing is a blur. The halls pass in a haze. Faceless forms are everywhere, staring, but we breeze past them as if they aren’t there. I’m vaguely aware of Gensted cursing, stumbling and readjusting, then crashing through a door.

“What the— Tania?”

“We were in the courtyard,” Gensted says. “She started to…freeze. She’s cold as ice.”

In an instant, Valen hovers over me. A moment later, Gensted’s face appears across from him. The pain is fading, and my fingers are starting to regain their feeling again.

“This is a delayed reaction to the transfer, isn’t it?” Gensted sinks onto the bed across from Valen as I pull myself up into a sitting position. I bite down to keep my teeth from chattering, but there’s nothing I can do to hide the whole-body tremor that goes through me. Wrapping my arms around myself does nothing, so I grab the corner of Valen’s blanket and pull it over my shoulders.

“That would be my guess.” He looks from Gensted to me, then nods slowly. “Did you tell him?”

Thank the Goddess, I can hear him again. No, I didn’t tell him.

Gensted folds his arms, his expression unreadable. “The two of you are bound somehow, aren’t you? I suspected as much back in my village. Then, at the Spring Court when you created that wall…”

“How—” Valen starts.

This is the last thing we need right now! What are we going to do?

“Gensted is all about honor, right? Loyalty? You saved his life. Make sure he remembers that.”

That’s your plan?

“It’s all we’ve got…”

“You hide it well,” Gensted says, gaze bouncing between us. “Not nearly as well as you hide the feelings you have for each other, though.”

Valen stares at him, wide-eyed. “I don’t know what you—”

“Oh, please. Give me a bit more credit. The moment she said she was spoken for, I saw the look in your eyes. You’ve been wonderful here, at the estate. But out there? It was impossible to miss.”

“You have to understand the risk this puts us in. The danger. You saw how the Winter Fae hate me—Valen’s connection to me jeopardizes his position as monarch and puts the entire court at risk of collapse.” I narrow my eyes. “I saved your life, and now it’s your turn to repay the favor. You cannot tell a soul.”

Gensted doesn’t say anything, and my stomach drops. I thought we had a stronger connection between us than with the others. Was it all in my head?

“This is a secret I’m willing to kill to keep,” Valen says, helping me to stand. While Gensted is intimidating, Valen, in this moment, is more so. “We need you for the fight, but I’m prepared to—”

“I will tell no one what I know.” He shifts his gaze to me. “Keltania, you have my friendship, my loyalty…” He bows. “And you have my support .”

The way he says it makes my stomach flutter, and as he holds my gaze, something sparks between us. It’s not romantic. There’s no physical attraction. No. This is something that runs deeper. Older. It’s warmth, and it’s filling, and on the surface, it’s comfortable. But beneath that? Beneath that, it scares me…