Page 12

Ersa

T he following day, Ersa found his conviction slipping through his fingers. As the pod glided smoothly along the airway, drawing nearer to the health center, a knot of anxiety tightened in his stomach. He rubbed his hands on his thighs, willing the nervousness away. The pod abruptly veered to the left, lurching with a force that sent Ersa off balance. His hand shot out, gripping the edge of the seat tightly to steady himself.

“Fuck, sorry,” Hicks said. “Are you okay?”

“I’m…” A harsh, gagging sound escaped him, followed by the sickening splatter of vomit hitting the floor. “Oh, my goodness. Please stop the pod.”

“I’m sorry, Ersa,” Hicks said, glancing over his shoulder, his eyes full of worry. “I can’t stop here. Hold on, we’re almost at the center.”

“Please, hurry,” Ersa pleaded, his voice trembling as he clenched his fists against the relentless churn of nausea threatening to overwhelm him again. By the time they arrived at the center, his body was racked with tremors, his muscles taut from his desperate struggle to keep the nausea at bay.

“Come,” Hicks said gently as he helped him out of the pod. Ersa stumbled, his legs trembling beneath him as a wave of nausea swirled through his stomach, making the world tilt and spin around him. “I don’t think you’re going to make it. I’m going to carry you.” Hicks stepped close. The alpha waited for a few seconds for him to refuse, but when he didn’t, he gently scooped him up and rushed to the double doors that led into the center. “Where do I need to go?”

“That way.” Ersa gestured down the softly lit hallway, hoping he wouldn’t lose his shit before they got there. A few minutes later, he breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw the glass doors. “I think I’ll be okay from here,” Ersa said as Hicks ignored him and headed to the reception area with determined strides.

“We need help here,” he said as soon as he reached the front desk. “He started to vomit in the hover pod. He’s dizzy, and…” He gazed down at Ersa, his brows knitting together as if he were trying to figure out what was wrong with him. The receptionist sprang into action. She maneuvered a sleek, moving bot from behind the desk and brought it to a smooth stop right in front of Hicks.

“I’ll take it from here,” she said with calm authority as she guided Ersa into the bot’s cushioned seat. Once he was securely settled, the bot hummed softly to life, gliding smoothly down the hallway to room two. “Please connect with Nora,” she called to someone as she held the door open for the bot to pass. “Can you make it to the bed?” she asked as she brought the bot to a stop.

“Yes,” Ersa replied, his voice barely above a whisper as he cautiously lowered his feet to the ground. The floor seemed to sway beneath him, the unsteady sensation making his stomach churn. Clenching his jaw, he forced himself upright and took deliberate, shaky steps toward the bed. A sigh of relief slipped through his lips as the soft mattress cradled his body, and the nausea churning his stomach eased. The door opened, and Nora entered, her ever-present smile spreading wide as she got closer to the bed.

“How are you feeling?” Nora asked. “It seems everything is going as planned.”

“You think so?” Ersa asked, his tone laced with skepticism. “I haven’t felt a single thing, no signs, no symptoms… until a few minutes ago.”

“Really? Didn’t you go through something similar with your cub?” she asked as she moved to the steel cubicle on the other side of the room and began to fill a cart with medical supplies.

“No. The symptoms started showing up three days after my heat,” he explained. “They weren’t nearly as overwhelming as what I’m experiencing now. If I didn’t know it was fake, I’d think I was pregnant. It feels so real.” Ersa laughed humorlessly.

“It will get better in a second. I promise.” Ersa watched Nora wheel the medical cart close to the bed and swiftly prepare the medication.

“What’s that?”

“This is something for the nausea,” she said as she administered the shot. When she was done, she pushed to her feet and moved the cart to the side. “The medicine takes a few minutes to work. Lie down and rest for now while we wait.”

“Okay,” Ersa said, closing his eyes.

***

Xander

“Are you ready?” Shiva asked, his fingers drumming lightly on the vacuum-sealed packages on the table before him. Xander’s gaze fixated on the crisp, sterile packaging, his pulse pounding so hard it echoed in his ears. Every fiber of his being screamed against this, yet here he was. His fingers twitched, aching to push the samples aside and go home to Ersa. He longed to hold on to him, to claim him, to make him his in a way no one else ever could. But the cruel weight of reality pressed down on him, reminding him why he couldn’t have Ersa. The omega wasn’t just any omega. He was Benjn’s nanny.

“The agency managed to secure three samples,” Shiva continued. “I’ve already asked them to keep the job listing open in case none of these scents appeal to you.” He gestured toward the packages. “Shall we begin?”

“Yes,” Xander said.

Shiva carefully opened one of the packages and handed it to him without touching the contents. Xander recoiled before he could even touch it, the scent hitting him the wrong way.

“No?”

“No,” Xander answered firmly.

Shiva exhaled and closed the package, setting it aside before reaching for a sleek canister resembling a scent spray. A fine white mist drifted into the air, neutralizing the rejected scent. They waited in silence as the mist dissipated, the sterile hush of the room pressing down on them.

With a small nod, Shiva opened another package.

Xander barely inhaled before his nose scrunched in distaste. Shiva chuckled. “Okay, that’s a definite no,” the omega teased, shaking his head.

He reached for the final package, lifting it with a dramatic flourish. “This is the last one,” he announced.

Xander groaned, already bracing for disappointment. “I’m not going to like that one either. I just know it,” he muttered, a defeated sigh escaping his lips.

“You don’t know that,” Shiva countered, his voice laced with optimism.

Carefully, he unsealed the package, his gaze flicking up to watch Xander’s reaction. Xander drew in a deep breath and felt… nothing. No warmth, no pull, no flicker of recognition. It was as if something inside him had gone completely numb, like a switch had been flipped, shutting off any possibility of a connection.

Fuck.

His stomach twisted as he buried his face in his hands, frustration settling in like a heavy weight. He’d wanted this to work. He’d hoped, desperately, that this would finally let him shake off his feelings for Ersa.

“Hey,” Shiva said softly, nudging him. “Don’t look like that. This is only the beginning. You shouldn’t feel discouraged. We’ll find someone for you. It’s just not going to happen on the first try.”

Xander didn’t lift his head, but he listened.

“The job listing is still open. There are more than a million omegas out there,” Shiva continued, his tone unwaveringly confident. “You’ll find one. We just have to keep looking.”

“They won’t be him,” Xander said.

“What?”

“Those million omegas won’t be him,” he said, raising his head.

“Who?”

“Benjn’s nanny,” Xander muttered, dragging a hand down his face as though trying to wipe away the exhaustion pressing on him. “I think I’m in love with him.”

A beat of silence. Then—

“What?” Shiva nearly yelped, his voice spiking with unrestrained excitement. Xander could practically hear the grin forming on his face.

He sighed, shaking his head. “Don’t,” he warned.

“Don’t what?” Shiva shot back innocently, but the eager glint in his eyes betrayed him.

Xander exhaled sharply, jaw tightening. “There’s nothing to be excited about. Ersa is Benjn’s nanny. I shouldn’t be lusting after him.” The words left a bitter taste in his mouth, the truth settling deep in his chest.

“Why not?”

“It’s not right,” Xander muttered, his voice strained, as if he were trying to convince himself more than anyone else. “I’m his employer. There’s got to be a law against this somewhere,” he said, pressing fingers hard against his temples. His voice softened, rough with longing. “We shouldn’t spend every night wrapped up in each other. And yet… that’s all I want to do.”

Shiva threw his hands up, palms out. “Wait… wait… hold on a second.” His eyes widened with intrigue. “ Spend every night wrapped up in each other ? As in, have sex? What exactly happened between the two of you?” He leaned forward, voice dropping with urgency. “No. Scratch that. Start from the beginning.”

“I don’t think…” Xander started, hesitating.

“No,” Shiva interrupted. “Don’t think, just spill. Tell me everything. I’m your therapist. You can trust me.”

Xander laughed, the sound ringing out and filling the space around him. As the laughter faded, he rubbed his chest, feeling lighter, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time in a long while, he was given the chance to share what had been gnawing at him, and now that it was out in the open, the burden didn’t seem as unbearable.

Clearing his throat, he began to recount everything, from his conversation with Shiva about finding a specialist to help Ersa relactate to him going into heat. “Everything would have been fine if I had found the service omega I hired attractive. And the fact that he used scent blockers, just like I asked, and I couldn’t smell a thing made it even worse,” he confessed, his voice thick with frustration and something far more dangerous—yearning. “I’ve been trying to keep my distance, trying to be professional, but it’s impossible. He’s always there—in my mind, under my skin. I can’t stop thinking about him.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I want him back in my bed,” he said, his voice rough, nearly a growl. “I want to feel his body against mine, his warmth, his kiss—God, I want everything.” He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “And the worst part? I’m jealous. Jealous of Benjn, of my own cub, because he gets to be close to him when I can’t. That’s insane, right?” His eyes were wild with frustration, his breath uneven. “Tell me I’m not losing my mind.”

Shiva tilted his head, considering him for a moment before asking, “Have you ever considered that he might be your true mate?”

Xander laughed again, but this time, there was no humor in it. “No. That’s ridiculous. If he was my mate, wouldn’t I feel it? And I think we would have recognized each other from the moment we met. Besides, true mates haven’t existed for a while now.”

“Every couple’s journey is different,” Shiva said, his voice soft and thoughtful. “Some don’t even recognize their bond right away, but the feeling… the pull… it’s there.” He chewed the inside of his cheek, his brows furrowing thoughtfully. “Don’t you think it’s strange? How you and Ersa just… clicked? You barely knew each other, yet there was something between you—something undeniable, a connection—deeper, stronger than anything you ever had with Nath. With Ersa, you don’t have to try so hard. You don’t have to shape yourself into something you’re not. It’s natural—effortless. And that’s what I wanted you to see with a companion omega. When you meet the right one, you don’t have to force it. You don’t have to change who you are. It just… fits.”

“I get that, but…”

“But what?” Shiva asked.

“There’s a lot to consider,” he said. “What if things don’t work out between us? Benjn has to come first—his happiness, his stability… that’s what matters most.”

“And you?”

“I don’t matter,” he said quietly.

“Don’t say that,” Shiva whispered. “You’ve longed for an omega for so long—someone who sees you, someone who makes you feel whole. You deserve that, Xander. This… this is your chance. I know there’s a lot to think about, but you can’t keep putting your happiness on hold because you’re afraid things might fall apart. Sometimes you just have to take the risk and see where it leads. You deserve to be happy too.”

Xander twisted his hands together, a nervous energy rolling off him in waves. “You make it sound so easy.”

“It probably won’t be easy. Trust your instincts. Deep down, you already know what you need to do. Let the alpha inside you guide you. Ersa already likes you—he doesn’t flinch at your intensity, doesn’t shy away from who you are. That’s a great start. Just go with it.”

Xander exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “Damn, don’t tempt me. I’m already holding myself back as it is.”

“I want you to try,” Shiva insisted. “Since you believe you won’t respond to another omega’s scent, then chase what’s right in front of you. See where it leads. You tried to change yourself for Nath, fought for him—don’t you think Ersa is worth that same fight? Maybe even more?”

Xander swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. “Yes. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. With Nath, it was… a bond of necessity. I forced myself to believe it was the right thing to do.”

“And you tried,” Shiva said, his voice gentler. “But now? Now, you’ve found an omega who stirs something real inside you. Someone who sees you, challenges you, and doesn’t run. Don’t let him slip through your fingers because you’re afraid of what might happen if he says no.”

Xander nodded.

Finally, Shiva exhaled and said, “For now, let’s put a hold on finding a companion omega and see how things unfold between you and Ersa.”

Xander let out a breathy chuckle. “Damn, now I’m nervous. I’ve never been lucky with omegas,” he admitted as he pushed to his feet. “But I want this. I’ll cherish every second he gives me. And if, in the end, he doesn’t want to be with me…” He trailed off, shrugging, but the mere thought of losing Ersa sent a sharp ache through his chest.

“Don’t give up yet.” Shiva’s parting words echoed in his mind, following him like a shadow as he made his way home.

The moment Xander stepped inside the house, the warm scent of spices and roasting meat greeted him. Xander followed the scent to the cooking station, hope blooming in his chest that he’d find Ersa there, chatting with Vina. The two had grown surprisingly close. But as the door slid open with a soft hiss, the warmth in his chest dimmed—only Hicks and Vina stood at the counter, deep in conversation.

“Where’s Ersa?” he asked.

“He’s resting. He got a little sick when we were on our way to the center, but he’s…” Xander barely registered Hicks’s next words as he took off in a sprint toward the house, his pulse hammering in his ears. Taking the stairs two at a time, he gripped the railing for balance, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps, worry coiling in his gut, tightening with each step. When he reached his room, he was surprised to find the bed empty.

“Where is he?” Xander muttered to the empty room, his voice barely above a whisper as he strode toward the nursery, hoping to find Ersa there. But the room was empty.

Frowning, he inhaled deeply, filtering through the mingling scents in the air—detergent, furniture polish, cooking meat, the lingering traces of his own scent—until he found what he was looking for. Ersa’s scent. Clean, soothing, familiar. He followed it like a thread, weaving through the house until he reached the guest room.

There, curled up on the bed, was Ersa, his delicate form tucked close to Benjn’s smaller frame. The two were nestled together, their soft, rhythmic breathing the only sound in the room. Peace radiated from them, an unspoken bond that made something in Xander’s chest tighten.

Drawn to the scene, he eased onto the bed, careful not to wake them, his gaze drifting from Benjn’s tiny, relaxed face to Ersa’s serene features. The omega’s lashes fluttered, and after a moment, one sleepy eye cracked open, locking onto him.

A slow, tense moment passed.

Xander’s heart pounded, not from worry this time but from something deeper, something that sent a shiver through him. Desire.

He cleared his throat and murmured, “Why are you sleeping in here?”

“It’s my room. Did you forget?” Ersa mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. His lashes fluttered as he shifted slightly, burrowing deeper into the covers.

“No.” I’m just used to seeing you in my room . Xander didn’t dare say the latter out loud. He eased off the bed, but as soon as his feet touched the floor, an unsettling wave of disappointment coiled around his chest like a serpent.

Xander drew in a slow, steady breath, forcing the feeling down. “Get some rest. We can talk later,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” Ersa murmured sleepily, his words dissolving into a soft sigh.

Xander stood frozen, his gaze drinking them in—Ersa curled protectively around Benjn, the steady rise and fall of their breathing, the peaceful aura surrounding them. A sharp longing clashed with the logical voice in his head telling him to leave, to give them space. With one last glance, he turned on his heel and strode toward his office.

Xander buried himself in work, throwing every ounce of his focus into the intricate designs of his waste bot, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about Ersa. The ache was constant, a dull, relentless throb just beneath his ribs. And seeing Ersa back in his old room earlier had been a brutal reminder of why the omega was off-limits. Untouchable. He was Benjn’s nanny, nothing more. Xander should have been grateful—relieved—that his cub finally had the care and attention he needed.

But it wasn’t enough. He wanted more… so much more.

So, he worked, the hours slipping by unnoticed, his hands moving with mechanical precision while his thoughts spiraled. The quiet hum of his tools filled the room, but even that wasn’t enough to drown out the hunger clawing at him. As if punishing himself for wanting something he couldn’t have, he pushed on until his vision blurred and his fingers ached. Only when his eyelids grew too heavy to keep open did he finally give in, dragging himself away from his desk.

But instead of heading to his own bed, his feet carried him toward the nursery. He told himself he was only going to check on Benjn—just a quick glance to settle his nerves.

The sight that greeted him stole his breath.

Ersa lay curled up in his bed, fast asleep, the soft rise and fall of his chest visible beneath the blankets. Moonlight spilled through the curtains, casting gentle shadows across his face, and Xander’s heart slammed against his ribs. He stood frozen, drinking him in, his body going wild with need at the mere sight of him.

Before his mind could catch up, before logic could intervene and demand answers, he was already moving, driven by instinct, by something raw and unspoken that thrummed beneath his skin. Xander slipped into bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight as he reached for Ersa. The warmth of his body called to him, and when his fingers brushed over Ersa’s hip, a soft moan of protest escaped the omega’s lips.

“Shhh,” Xander murmured, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to the back of Ersa’s neck. The scent of him filled his senses, soothing and intoxicating all at once.

“Xander…” Ersa whispered, his voice still heavy with sleep, and the sound of his name spoken like that sent a deep, visceral ache through Xander’s body. “What’s going on?”

“You feel it too, don’t you?” Xander whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “I’ve been trying to hold back—trying to keep things professional between us. You’re Benjn’s nanny. I shouldn’t want you. But I can’t fight it anymore. I’m not strong enough.” His fingers tightened their hold on Ersa’s waist, as if afraid to let go. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in an omega. With you, I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to be something I’m not. I’ve fallen in love with you. And I know you’ve been through so much—I know being with an alpha isn’t easy, but—”

“I feel something too,” Ersa interrupted, his voice trembling. “I don’t know if it’s love… not yet. But I want to be close to you. I want to learn more about you. And even though I promised myself I’d never open my heart to anyone again… you and Benjn changed that. You made me want more.” His voice cracked, and he took a shuddering breath. “When I came back from the health center, I thought I’d finally found my place here. The experiment worked, and I could really be Benjn’s nanny—be everything he needed. But I wasn’t happy. Because that’s not all I want to be. I want to be more. I want to be Benjn’s father. And I want to be yours.”

Tears slipped down his cheeks, silent and unstoppable. He sniffled, trying to hold them back, but the emotions were too big, too overwhelming. “I like being with you,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

Xander froze. His breath caught, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, disbelieving. “You do?”

Ersa nodded, his lips curving into a watery, fragile smile.

“But I’m scared,” Ersa whispered, his voice barely holding steady. “The thought of losing someone I love again… it terrifies me. I don’t know if I could survive it.” His eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

Xander reached for him, his touch warm and grounding as his hand closed over Ersa’s. “I’m scared too,” he admitted, his voice low and rough with honesty. “But the thought of not trying? Of letting fear keep me from you? That scares me even more. I want to try—with you.”

Ersa nodded.

An overwhelming need to be closer surged through him, and before he knew it, he’d slipped off the bed and held out his hand.

“Come,” he said.

Ersa came willingly, and together, they walked back to Xander’s room. There, Xander grasped Ersa’s chin and slammed their lips together in a devouring kiss before he carried him to the bed. When Ersa moaned into his mouth and his arms slipped around his back to drag him closer, Xander lost his hold on himself.

As if he were merely an observer, watching from afar, he broke away from their kiss, folding to his knees.

“Where are you going?” Ersa whimpered.

“Nowhere,” Xander rumbled as he roughly brought Ersa’s thighs to his chest.

“Let me take these off… oh fuck… ahh…” Ersa moaned his hands falling away as Xander dragged them off his ass and pushed into his hole in one smooth thrust. The pants around his legs locked his thighs together, reducing any movement, squeezing his ass so tight around his cock.

Oh fuck . Xander silently cried as wet heat met his cock. He was literally coming undone, every uncontrollable thrust pushing him to the very brink. When his orgasm hit, Xander tried to hold it back, but the mind-bending pleasure was too much for him. And when his knot thickened and slipped into Ersa’s hole, joining them together, Xander’s entire body convulsed, a violent tremor rattling through him as pleasure flooded his veins. His senses dulled, and the world slipped away, leaving him suspended in an abyss of overwhelming sensation.

“Oh fuck… oh fuck…” he moaned, rocking his hips as come shot out of his cock. Snatching Ersa’s pants off, Xander dropped between his thighs as all the strength left his body.

“Wait… wait…” Ersa whimpered, trying to push to his elbows. “I… I need… uhh…”

“I’ve got you, baby,” Xander said as he nuzzled Ersa’s chest. He opened his mouth and sucked on the hard nipple, his saliva wetting the thin fabric of Ersa’s sleeping shirt.

Ersa’s mouth fell open in a soundless scream. His body tensed, every muscle locked as his hole convulsed around Xander’s knot, sucking him dry of his come. Xander loved this part—the blissful oblivion where his mind turned hazy, thoughts dissolving into nothingness, his body paralyzed by the overwhelming pleasure. Xander closed his eyes and gave himself to the moment. A while later, when his knot had subsided and the pleasure that had flooded his body simmered deliciously beneath his skin, Xander pushed to his elbows to check on Ersa. The blissed-out look on the omega’s face sent a shiver through him, stirring something deep in his heart.

“Are you okay?” Xander asked.

“Yes,” Ersa said, a tiny smile pulling at his lips. “And you… are you okay?”

Xander frowned. “Yes? Why do you ask?”

Ersa’s smile widened, warm and teasing. “Because you asked me first,” he said, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “I figured it was only fair to return the favor.”

Xander locked eyes with the omega for a moment, a spark of mischief passing between them, and then he pounced. Ersa let out a startled screech, twisting in a desperate attempt to escape, but Xander was faster. He caught him with ease, yanking him down onto the bed. Laughter erupted between them as they rolled around the mattress, limbs tangling in a playful struggle for dominance. Ersa fought back, determined, but Xander held his ground, his chest rising with exhilaration. Joy bubbled inside him, pure and unexpected. He had never imagined he’d find an omega he could let loose with like this—someone who could match his energy, his teasing, his need to simply exist. It felt good.

And that feeling only grew stronger as they spent more time together, their bond deepening in quiet, gentle ways. Days slipped by, filled with soft laughter and shared glances—planting new life in their ever-growing garden, tending to Benjn with the easy rhythm of a family, and stealing moments just for themselves.

On warm evenings, they’d stretch out in their little oasis, lying on a soft blanket surrounded by a sea of pillows. The garden had transformed into something magical—string lights twinkled from the shrubs they’d planted with their own hands, casting a golden glow over leaves that swayed in the soft breeze. Above them, the sky stretched wide and endless, stars winking down like they were in on the secret of their happiness.

“I have something for you,” Xander said, breaking the silence.

“What is it?” Ersa asked, not lifting his head from where it rested against Xander’s chest, his fingers tracing lazy circles on his skin.

“Give me your wrist,” Xander murmured.

Curious, Ersa held out his wrist without hesitation, and Xander carefully clicked a cool, gleaming band into place around it. The soft snick of the lock made his heart pound, a deep satisfaction rising in his chest as one of his most primal urges found a quiet release.

The wristband was simple but striking—polished metal that gleamed in the soft light, snug against Ersa’s skin. It wasn’t a claiming mark, not yet—their relationship was still too new for that conversation—but this… this was a promise. A symbol of what Xander hoped they were building together.

Ersa’s breath caught as he turned his wrist, the band catching the light. His fingers brushed over the small padlock attached to it, his gaze softening when it rose to meet Xander’s.

“It’s beautiful,” he whispered. Then his lips quirked into a teasing smile. “Where’s the key?”

Xander swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. “Can I… keep it with me?” he asked, his voice tentative, his heart thudding a little too hard as he waited for Ersa’s reaction.

For a moment, Ersa just stared at him—and then his smile softened into something warmer, something that made Xander’s chest ache.

“Only if you promise never to lose it,” he said quietly.

“I won’t,” Xander said, pulling him close.

“I could lie here with you forever,” he murmured, his voice heavy with contentment. His fingers brushed lazily through Ersa’s hair, his heart full in a way he hadn’t known was possible.

“Me too,” Ersa whispered, his eyes warm and tender as he propped himself up on his elbows. Without hesitation, he leaned in and kissed him, slow and sweet, a promise in every touch.