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brETT YOUNG

I wasn’t going to be able to tolerate not jumping Jamie’s bones. Especially when he left himself wide open at home plate. In the Sillys’ locker room of all places. I was pretty damn sure that I actually made him cum in his pants. Just with our first kiss. That fact had my ego inflated as big as a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. And that smug bitch was in no mood to deflate in this lifetime.

It was as if every fantasy of mine came true in that one heated moment. Despite our attitudes towards each other, that kiss was flaming hot. It was going to take days to air out my downtown.

There was something in that kiss. A flicker of something deeper, something that was ready to consume my very soul. The feeling scared me to no end. I couldn’t. We couldn’t.

He’s a major league player . Which meant he was completely out of my league. No matter what sort of COCK-filled rule system he had, he could have been blowing smoke up my ass. Because there was no way the man of my fantasies had kissed me senseless, ejaculated in his pants, then asked me out to dinner.

After all that heart-pounding excitement in the locker room, I found myself staring at him in utter disbelief across a restaurant table. Jamie seemed more at ease. Did that kiss change something? Did it mess everything up? I was so sure that the man loathed me. Especially after that disastrous one-on-one practice today.

“Something on your mind?” Jamie’s voice pulled me from my tumble of thoughts as I mindlessly swirled my straw in my diet soda.

“I’m not sure which one to address first. You left me with a lot of shit to process.”

“If it's about what happened in the locker room, I’m–” I cringed. Because of course he was sorry. Shit like that was always a mistake.

“Actually, if we could pretend that didn’t happen and just get on with our lives, that would be super.”

“But Cady–”

“Just…drop it, okay?” He looked defeated as he went quiet and put his beer bottle to his lips for a sip. The moment we talked about it meant that this blissful thing that happened between us in the locker room would be over. I didn’t want to hear the words come out of my crush’s mouth. That it had all been a big mistake.

I imagined this sort of scenario so many times but on much happier terms. What would it be like during the in-between times with one’s crush? In between all the dirty, hot, delicious fantasy sex. What would the dinners out be like? The walks home? Just driving around in a car together? But now that I was kind of sort of experiencing it, I didn’t know what to do with it. Especially when I felt so wishy-washy about what Jamie really thought of me. The man had been full of mixed signals since the moment I met him .

That kiss had me feeling things that maybe, just maybe there was something there. The way the heat slithered its way from his lips to mine and fed through the tributaries of my limbs was something I hadn’t felt before. Maybe it was the surprise of the kiss or maybe I just needed to kiss him again to see if that sort of feeling was going to be an every time thing.

This was all a stark contrast to his usual self. He’d been stone-cold and stand-offish to me every moment on the field. The dance lessons and choreography only hardened his steely reserve. Except for last night at the bar. I mean, I get it. I wouldn’t be happy if I got demoted from being in the majors to a team that danced every inning either.

So, what changed?

The server hesitantly stepped up to our table. Even she could sense the tension between us. And it wasn’t the mouth-watering sexual tension from earlier. Maybe it was better that we hadn’t gone further than kissing. I couldn’t even imagine what the tension would be like now if we actually had sex.

All of this reality was hampering my fantasy.

“Cady, I really think we should talk about what happened.” I felt my stomach flip and then promptly drop like a lead stone. I didn’t want to talk. Because if we talked it was a risk of this delightful fantasy bubble being popped by the ugly bitch called reality.

“Maybe after we eat something?” Anything to stall. The last thing I needed right now was to hear that my crush just wanted to get that out of his system and move on. I prayed that the server put our order in with post haste.

“Fair enough.” There was a blissful bit of quiet as I took in the ambiance. But Jamie’s follow-up shattered the singular moment of peace. “But I do want to talk about it. Especially since I still have to get you home.”

Shit.

Right. We came here together. I must have blacked out, lost in thought over our kiss still. He had to drive me back to the stadium to get my car. Great, let's just keep prolonging the awkwardness for all of eternity at this point. Because why not, universe?

“Fine. We can talk. Just…be gentle.” I winced a bit, but Jamie’s reaction wasn’t at all I expected. There was a flash of surprise before it turned right back into that goddamn mouth-watering smolder.

“I’m always gentle.”

Dinner was such a fucking bad idea.

Thankfully the bar was rather quiet, so the food arrived swiftly. I just wanted to eat as quickly as possible and get the fuck out of dodge. Not wanting another awkward thing to come out of my mouth, I dove into my wrap sandwich.

“I know I didn’t exactly go about this the smart way.” Jamie started sheepishly. “Do you think…we can restart?” Jamie’s question came out of left field, but I was thankful for the abrupt change of subject.

The man sat there, watching me, as I stuffed a rather large bit of sandwich into my mouth. So much for not being awkward. I noted the subtle bob of his Adam’s apple as I adjusted my jaw to a more ladylike bite.

“Uh…sure.” Using my napkin, I mumbled around my full mouth. Jamie visibly relaxed and shot his hand out across the table .

“Hi, I’m Jamie.” My eyes darted from his hand to his eyes. Oh, he was serious about starting over. Like, over over.

I took a moment to swallow my food before slipping my hand into his. That jolt of electricity was still there. Perhaps, it was even stronger than the last time. His touch lingered for a moment before he turned to address his plate of food.

“You work for the Philly Sillys baseball team, huh? How long have you been with the organization?”

“Since the beginning,” It was then I began to relax too. He was right, we needed this. A fresh start. “I never thought I could combine my history of dance and my love of baseball, and well… Oddly enough it worked out.”

“I’ll say.” Jamie chuckled as he took a large mouthful of his sandwich. My eyes stayed on him; my food forgotten. He was so pretty to look at in this casual state. But I sure did love the man when he was in his uniform in his natural habitat too. “You’re good at what you do, Cady.” I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. The conversation needed a redirect before I melted into a puddle in the wooden chair.

“So, a professional baseball player? Did you always want to play baseball?”

“Yes and no, I guess. I played both football and baseball in high school and college.” He took a moment to wipe the side of his mouth, drawing my eyes back to it. “I was majoring in business, but then there were whispers of the possibility of me being drafted. I graduated with a third-round MLB draft pick. I figured if baseball didn’t work out, I at least had a backup plan.” Sitting back in his chair, he chuckled with that signature sinful grin of his that he let slip when he made a great play behind the plate. “And well, that was like ten years ago now. But…I can’t play baseball forever.”

“Yeah well, I don’t exactly think you’ll have to worry about getting a part-time job when you retire. Especially with your contract.” Shit. That was too much. It was easily accessible public knowledge, but it still meant that I kind of maybe online stalked him. Just a little. Completely innocently of course.

Jamie’s brows shot up his forehead. “So, you’ve heard about me?”

“Well, I…uh, kind of…have to research all the guys that join the team.” Smooth, Cadence. Real smooth. “I need to have some sort of uh, understanding of their background. A few of the guys are retired MLB players. Most played college ball. Some play as a hobby with some wicked ass bat or ball tricks.” I couldn’t help but let out a crazed laugh. “Sometimes I feel like I’m some sort of elementary school teacher trying to get the dirt on new students. Ninety-eight percent of them have no dance experience.”

“Including me.”

“ Especially you. Honestly, you’re the worst of the bunch.” My laugh was much more genuine that time. It wasn’t fair. He had this air about him that made me relax. That is when I wasn’t thinking about how hot he was.

“I didn’t exactly expect to have to dance to play baseball,” Jamie said flatly. I let out a hearty sigh and plopped my fry back on my plate.

“Look, I get it. But would you want to be on the bench, or worse, at home watching the games from afar? Or would you rather be on the ballfield seeing some action but at a level that’s much more suitable for where you’re at right now?”

Jamie froze, staring me down but said nothing more.

Oh no.

I broke him. He sat in stunned silence as he blinked at me.

“No, you’re right.” A heavy sigh escaped him as he sat back in his seat. “I’ve been in denial since I got here. Even ownership said the same thing as you. It wasn’t really until a few days ago that I finally came to terms with the truth.”

My heart did a flip flop to hear him admit what I knew I saw that night at the bar. Something had finally gotten through that thick skull of his. But he wasn’t giving himself enough credit now. He made huge strides. I finally felt confident that he was going to do just fine tomorrow.

The conversation had turned serious again and I needed to lighten the mood. This lighthearted chemistry between us was addictive and I wanted to keep it up. To keep his mind in a positive mindset. I leaned forward and cupped my palm behind my ear just to sass him.

“I’m sorry, can you say that again? Because I’m pretty sure that you said, ‘I was right’ .”

It was only a tease. A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth. He tried to hide it by looking away from me. His arms crossed his chest as he shifted in his seat. I felt my body flush with awareness.

“You’re lucky you heard it the first time, Cady. Just take the win.” He shot me a look as he grabbed the beer bottle and tipped it back up to his mouth. It did nothing to distract me from his smile.

Shit, were we… flirting ?

I couldn’t help my own smile as we finished up the last few bites of our dinner. So, it wasn’t entirely awful being alone with him. There was only a hint of his grumpy self, even then it dissipated quickly. And maybe, just maybe, he was fun to talk to. Outside of the pressures of work, that is.

“Do you want another drink?”

“No, I’m good. I think I’m ready to head home. I’ve had… quite enough excitement for one day.” My pulse suddenly started racing as if I’d shot back three espressos at once.

Jamie offered a nod in agreement as he gestured to the server for the check. I reached for my purse and pulled out my wallet, but he tutted me.

“No, I’ve got this. I invited you out.”

“Pfft, barely. But really, I–”

“Truly, Cady. Let me treat you.” His stern tone was back as he took the bill. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw his gaze flit back over to me as a little smirk quirked at the corner of his mouth.

“Fine.” I sighed with a roll of my eyes. Dammit, why did saying he wanted to “treat me” turn my insides into goo? “But I’m paying the tip.” I didn’t wait for any sort of acknowledgment as I pulled out enough cash to cover my half of the bill. If he wasn’t going to take my perfectly good money, then the server could have it.

Jamie didn’t offer any protest as he finished with the check and downed the last bit of his beer. He only had one that he nursed the entire time we were at the restaurant, along with a glass of water. But you could never be too safe. My playfulness was begging to be let off the leash again.

“You alright to drive, Slugger? Or do you need a designated driver?”

“Why, do you want to give me a sobriety test?” He rose from his seat with a smirk under his ball cap, turning it around on his head. Oh fuck, not the backward hat move. My heart began to palpitate.

Pocketing his wallet, he turned around to walk backward out of the restaurant, easily avoiding each and every table and chair that was potentially in his way. For good measure, he threw in alternating arms to tap the tip of his nose with the tip of his pointer finger. For fucks sake, why was this banter so damn easy?

“Alright, fine,” I said with a staged huff of annoyance over the fact that he had to show me up. “Showoff.”

“Do you want me to drop you off at your place or…?”

“Nah, the ballpark is fine,” I answered quickly. My voice cracked and I cringed inwardly. “I’ll just take my car home.”

“Well, if you don’t want to make the extra stop tonight, since it's late, I can pick you up and take you to work tomorrow. I don’t mind.”

This major player was being a major gentleman.

But that meant he’d be at my apartment and damn if I wasn’t already tempted to invite him up. Between our dinner banter, and let's not forget about that kiss , it left me feeling all out of sorts about Jamie.

We both climbed into his pickup truck and closed the heavy doors. I hoped the comfortable quiet between us would continue as he drove me back to the stadium. Maybe with the distraction of dinner, he’d forgotten all about what sultry happenings had occurred in the locker room. That maybe, just maybe, I had managed to divert that line of questioning from ever happening.

“There’s no ears or eyes around.” Jamie glanced at me as he went to turn on the car. “Do you think we can finally talk about…you know?”

I guess he didn’t forget.

Dammit.

The damn man couldn’t even wait until we got on the road. Then at least I could be distracted by the racing trees as they blurred through the darkness outside my window. Not struggling to breathe in this insufferable atmosphere inside the crew cab of his pickup truck.

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about now, is there?”

“I think there’s a whole hell of a lot to talk about.”

“Look, I already know what you’re going to say. You’re gonna tell me that the kiss was a stupid mistake that you made in the heat of the moment–”

Jamie’s hands hit the steering wheel, causing his truck to let out a strangled honk. The man was suddenly red with frustration, much like in the early days when I had to teach him a new dance move. The man was rather intimidating, especially in closed spaces. But he stayed clear on his side of the truck.

“Dammit, Cadence!” I froze. “Will you just listen to me for once?” I’d never heard the man this much at his wit’s end. And I tried to teach him a fucking step ball change with disastrous results .

“But I–” Nothing, and I mean nothing prepared me for what fell out his mouth next.

“You’re the damn reason I keep coming back . It took me forever to realize it. I want to play baseball but instead, I show up at a stadium that I loathed being assigned to, just to see what color your matching workout clothes are, to see the smallest hint of a smile from you.” There was a pause before his voice and furrowed brow softened. “You’re the highlight of my work day. I’m trying all these stupid ass fucking dance moves because they make you happy. And trust me, I’ve been at odds with myself over the stupid fluttering in my chest every time I see that smile on your beautiful face.”

I–

I just…

What in the ever-loving fuck.

My heartbeat was so loud that it was the only thing I could hear, even with my panting breaths. The words tumbled out of him with such overwhelming force that I was having trouble getting my brain to focus on any of it. Did he say he liked my smile? That…that I was beautiful… ?

“For fucks sake, please say something.” Jamie breathed out his plea as he stared at his white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel. That was a hell of an information overload. I was having a difficult time processing it all. Let alone try to find words to coherently answer him back.

Was it worth throwing my mess of feelings into all of this? What if all this was just a fleeting thing for him? How the hell could I tell him that my heart and body ached for him? That each and every day I had to see him made me hurt from the inside out because he acted so cold towards me. And despite all of that…

I still couldn’t get him out of my mind.

“The reason…” Fuck this was going to be difficult. I sighed heavily in a vain attempt to pull my shit together as I ran a hand down my face. “The reason I’ve been weird around you is, well… For the last few years, I’ve had like a… gigantic crush on you. I didn’t know how to handle it when you joined the Sillys. I tried everything in my power to be professional, but in the end, I’ve just been a pathetically awkward, grouchy mess.”

All I could do was sit there and cringe over the fact that my deeply seated secret was out in the open. A confession to the man himself, no less.

“You’ve had a crush on me…?” Jamie stared at his hands as he murmured to himself in disbelief. “It all makes so much more sense now.”

“I-I’m sorry. I was such an insufferable asshole to you. I didn’t exactly do it on purpose. It was more like…a weird protective reflex .” The silence dragged on along with the uncomfortable air in the cab of his truck. The word vomit was coming as I was unable to calm down. “I just couldn’t get the thoughts of kissing you or taking you to bed–”

“Oh…” Oh no. I fucked it up I knew– “It wasn’t just me then.” Jamie’s voice dropped down to a husky whisper of relief as he slowly turned in his seat to drink me in. The pure, intense fire in his eyes made me press my thighs together.

Jamie lunged across the front seat. He reached out, grabbed ahold of the back of my neck, and brought my mouth to his. We collided in a shower of sparks. Letting out a noise of relief, I melted into his leather seats. At that moment I knew one thing for sure.

Our earlier kiss against the lockers was no fluke.

How could this be real life? I was passionately kissing my grown-up crush, in the front seat of his truck, and it was the greatest fucking thing on the motherfucking planet. The only thing I could concentrate on was how Jamie’s lips made my body feel like a stadium full of fans cheering for their team after a comeback win. My common sense was knocking at the back door of my consciousness, but I ignored it. That was a problem for tomorrow’s Cadence. Today’s Cadence didn’t give a flying fuck.

Because today’s Cadence wanted to get fucked .

In the good way this time.

“Dammit, I really fucking want you, Cadence.” He mumbled against my mouth before diving back in for another taste. “This conversation only cemented that fact.” Goddamn if my body didn’t have its third flashover for the day. That was a new record for an actual man. Fictional men excluded. Although Jamie was on his way to dethrone them all.

“Well…let’s round the bases, Slugger.” Jamie stopped his kisses for only a fraction of a second before he burst into laughter. Of course. I had to go and fuck up the searing hot moment with one of my poorly timed, sexually suggestive baseball puns. Why couldn’t I just be normal? Why did I have to be so unbelievably cringy and awkward?

A deliciously wicked grin curled his lips.

“Game on.”

I think my panties actually spontaneously combusted.