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LIAM

The press of Jessica’s peachy lips to mine tries to interrupt the thoughts I’ve had during the ride to the Ice Palace, skating between how I had no intention of ever settling down. Not because I saw marriage as a set of shackles. More like I refused to be put in a situation where I might hurt someone. Again.

Now, I’m a dad and husband. I scrub my hand down my face but do my best to leave all of these thoughts behind as I head into the arena.

But Jessica’s whisper, forgive stays with me as I change … doesn’t leave. I shouldn’t be thinking about how to do that right now. But she was right. It’s like a weight, a restraint.

Get your head on, Ellis .

We have a playoff game against the Titans and while I’d like to say may the best man win, I’m loyal to the Knights, so my brother along with Valjean, and the rest of the Toronto team are going to meet The Beast tonight.

I tape my stick, knocking each of my thoughts out of my head with every turn of the roll.

Ted sits down next to me in the locker room and says, “I’ve been trying to decide if I wish I were in your skates. But they wouldn’t fit.”

“Stuff ’em with socks. Put on my uniform and helmet, no one would know the difference.”

He chuckles. “I do miss you guys.”

“There’s been some drama lately.”

He says, “So I’ve heard. Someone was in hot water with the coach after the laughing incident. But I think there was more to the story.”

True. I was exhausted, in shock, and ready to boil over, just didn’t expect it to come out as laughter. “Did Badaszek give you the details?”

“No, but I watched the game. Three times. Looks like you got into it with Valjean.”

“What else is new? He talks trash about my brother.” And I don’t mean Franklin even though in hockey, whether in high school or the NHL, we think of each other as family, especially on the Knights, which is probably why Ted is in here talking to me.

“What on earth would Valjean have to say about Hendrix? They’re on the same team. I’ve seen your brother talk plenty of trash to you out there.”

“Different rules.”

Redd slaps me on the back with his gloves. “Ellis will always go to bat for his bros.”

“Wrong sport,” Grady and Hayden say at the same time.

Redd pumps his hands. “I’m just saying, let’s all keep our cool.”

“Yeah. Great idea,” I bluster.

Jack says, “He just means don’t be so hotheaded.”

“Okay, geniuses. How should I go about doing that? Any recommendations when someone is trashing your actual brother?”

Hayden says, “Delaney.”

Redd nods his head rhythmically. “Whit.”

Pierre waggles his eyebrows. “Cara.”

Beau comes the closest I’ve ever seen him come to a smile. “Margo.”

Jack says, “The Puck Princess.”

I hold up my hands. “You’ll have to translate.”

Then, all at once, they declare, almost at a cheer, “Jess.”

My face pinches. “All right. I’m the captain, it’s time to focus.”

Ted says, “What they mean is the women in their lives soften their rough spots.”

“So, you want me to be a teddy bear?”

Ted grunts. “I’m The Bear. You’re The Beast. We mean more like a relationship can help diffuse some of that pent-up energy.”

I narrow my eyes.

Hayden says, “We laugh together.”

Redd shrugs. “She rubs my back. I rub her feet.”

“How does that help you?”

Beau lifts his hand in the air. “We do the opposite. I’m not sure what kind of sorcery it is, but it works.”

I think of the witch bride and then my actual bride, on our wedding day, floating toward me down the aisle. Never was there such a radiant sight.

“We’re not telling you to lose your edge,” Jack says.

“Keep it as sharp as ever,” Hayden, one of our wings, adds. “I need that wall of protection.”

“Ted might take my place tonight.”

The guys erupt with laughter because it’s preposterous and would result in fines, not to mention because I’d get kicked off the team, but also maybe because I made a joke.

Robo says, “Maybe Jess is rubbing off on you after all.”

It’s call time. Ted claps me on the back and says, “Whatever it is, bro. Let. It. Go.”

Badaszek says a team prayer and we hit the ice to a ballyhoo, cheering, and absolute fan chaos. Moments after the puck drops, we light up the arena with a score thanks to Jack. The Titans come back with Owen Jablonski channeling his inner figure skater and somehow whacking a shot off the boards and into the goal with a nifty little spin.

I’ll admit, I’m impressed.

Second period, Jack gets another breakaway and another goal on Griffin McGregor, but the Toronto team comes back with a point scored by my very own bro. He does a victory dance and blows a kiss to Colette.

I expect Valjean to have it in for me, however, Pierre is in his crosshairs and Sawyer O’Malley has our defensemen locked.

I tell my fellow defenseman, “I’ve got your back.”

Pierre shrugs. “He’s mostly bark.” He tips his head to the side as if accepting a challenge. “Some bite too. I can handle it.”

We continue in this scoring pattern with the Titans keeping up and we close the second period with them having a point on us. Valjean and I both camp out in the sin bin more times than Coach is going to like.

I watch the game intently, but also study Badaszek, following his gaze, wondering what he sees and what clicks in his brain to make him call certain plays. It’s almost like he can perceive things before they happen.

Forget playing 4D chess. The guy plays 4D hockey.

He has a way of pushing us right to the edge and just when we think we’ll snap, the strength comes. It comes from training. From preparation. From faith. That he knows what the heck he’s doing, but it also comes from God. The man is a believer. Me too. He also believes in me, which means a lot. I didn’t think I could pull off being captain. Not with KJ. But being forced into the leadership role somehow made me wake up to the reality of fatherhood and what it requires. Now marriage. It’s like I hit a warp zone in a video game and leveled up.

Am I ready for everything that’s going to come my way? Not a chance, but I know I have the resources to deal with whatever happens. My coach, my team, my family, and above all the Man Upstairs. Can’t let any of them down.

While regrouping in the locker room ahead of the last twenty minutes of the game, Badaszek says, “Men, this business comes with flames and flowers. You’re going to get accolades and have haters. You don’t fight back with your fists, you fight back by winning.”

Then we’re back out there.

Midway through the final period, my thoughts stray and so does the puck. Above the roar of the crowd, I hear my name. Jessica is on her feet cheering for me. KJ claps and waves his arms.

Like waking up from a decade-long dream, my focus snaps like a rubber band and I’m back, thundering down the ice, blocking shots, keeping Valjean in check, and leaving an opening for one of the most masterful shots I’ve ever seen.

In one swift motion, Pierre passes the puck to Mikey. He carries it over the line and then with a flick of the wrist, it lands cleanly with Jack. There’s no stopping him and he slaps it into the net as the final buzzer sounds, lighting the lamp.

Seeing my family in the stands cheering, something slips away, empties only to be replaced by something else that fills me in a way I never thought possible. At last, I’ve forgiven myself.

After the victory lap, I shake Valjean’s hand, hopeful the past is behind us.