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JESS

In the morning, I wake up alone. Liam must’ve snuck back down to the TV room, yet his comments remain with me in his bedroom and transform into questions I cannot answer.

I may as well be KJ’s mom ?

What if it were the truth ?

Yeah, there must be something in the air or water here or both, making him delusional—me too for entertaining, even for a minute, that these people would accept me.

I scoot to the bathroom to get ready. From downstairs comes a lot of activity along with the aroma of coffee. Ingrid’s voice filters to me about the promise of blueberry pancakes and seeing KJ again.

He and Grandma Dolly stayed with Grannie Bell and Aunt Goldie on Peppertree Lane, which is where we’re going for breakfast.

Even though I just woke up and that sounds wonderful, it’s like I already need a moment to catch my breath.

While I brush my teeth, someone knocks on the door. This place is huge, and there are more bathrooms, but maybe it’s a kid with an emergency. In the homes where I stayed as a child, it was inevitable that someone would interrupt to use the toilet.

I slide the door open a few inches, looking down at a pair of bare feet. Big ones. Size fifteens. Toothbrush in my mouth, I can only imagine my current look—fit for neither man nor beast.

However, Liam’s expression is the gravest I’ve ever seen it, sending a shockwave of anxiety through me.

“Is KJ okay?”

He nods. “Got a full report this morning. Happy as a clam.” His tone is low, dry.

“Are you all right?” I ask, considering what I learned from Ingrid and how returning to certain places can dredge up emotions.

“We have a problem.”

I knew better than to let myself fall asleep beside Liam. “But you snuck out of the room before anyone woke up.”

He shakes his head. “Not that.”

I wave my free hand, nervous with anticipation. “Please explain.”

“They’re planning the wedding while we’re still here in Canada.”

“Who? What?” I ask, while white foam from the toothpaste drools from the corner of my mouth.

From the foot of the stairs, Mrs. Ellis calls, “Liam, Jess, honey, we’re heading over to Peppertree Lane. You’d better hurry up if you want pancakes.”

“I do. I really do.” Realizing how that sounds in the context of the bomb Liam just dropped I say, “I mean, breakfast.”

Lifting his voice, Liam replies to his mom, “We’ll be right behind you.”

He shuffles me into the bathroom and leans against the counter while I rinse my mouth and face. His gaze never leaves me. In this small space, it’s a small space and hard to ignore him, sending a blaze across my cheeks.

“How do you know this?”

“The grandmothers got it in their heads that we’re going to get married here, now.”

“Even Grandma Dolly?” In the mirror, I pale. She knows it’s all a sham, so why would she encourage it?

“She’s already having the kid practice how to carry the pillow with the rings on it using a pair of chocolate-covered pretzels.”

I cover my laughter with my hand and because I’m in shock. Then my palm slides up to my forehead and I pace the three steps in part of the bathroom not taken up by Liam.

He lassoes me in his arms.

Whoa. Swizzles.

His eyes pin me in place.

I swallow.

He says, “Naturally, my mother was concerned about the short notice. Aunt Goldie was worried your family wouldn’t be able to make it in time.”

“I don’t have any other family.”

“That’s what Grandma Dolly told them. What you said last night about mine ...” He lets out a long breath. “I want them to be yours.”

“Until we tell them we’re splitting up.” Because that has to happen eventually with a fake marriage. My thoughts race with what it will do to KJ. Who will he live with? Liam may be a brute, but his family will see that he married a monster to agree to something so wrong and lie.

Liam says, “Listen, I know that this is a lot. But I’m willing to sign on until KJ is grown.”

“That’s like fifteen years.” And sounds like a business deal. Which this is.

Him: custody.

Me: legal assistance.

“I’m loyal, Jessica. It’s hockey and family. That’s it. There won’t be anything else in my life.”

“You mean anyone else? You don’t know that. You could meet someone tomorrow and fall in love.”

“I won’t.” His tone is firm, final.

“You can’t be sure.”

“I can.”

Silence stretches between us.

Liam adds, “If between now and the kid’s eighteenth birthday, you find someone else, you can leave me. I won’t hold it against you.”

“But your son might.” My shoulders drop. I won’t find someone else either. Somehow I know that with absolute certainty. There’s no sense in me even looking for love. I’m a romance and relationship wrecker. I walked away from one almost-marriage because my lot in life is loneliness, but maybe not alone …

I spin in a small circle as if winding myself up like an old mechanical toy. I may as well try a fake one and see how I fare.

Liam asks, “Can we do this?”

I hold up a finger. “They need to know that I’m not KJ’s biological mother.”

“Ingrid figured it out. They were discussing it last night. My parents are so embarrassed. My mom wants to apologize to you.”

“No, I’m the one who is humiliated. I let them think?—”

His expression hardens. “You are the mother the kid needs. End of story. You’re his mom.”

My chin wobbles because I love that little boy as much as I love Grandma Dolly. Maybe more.

“So you’ll fix the issue with the Coogans?” I ask, bringing us back to the nuts and bolts of the matter.

“Money is powerful and so are legal documents, so yes. It will all go away.”

“And we’ll go on with our lives. But I was going to move to Colorado.” I gasp.

“I can’t leave Cobbiton.”

“I know. I understand. I just thought—” I force away the building sadness of my failures, stacking one on top of the next. It’s easier for me to pretend they don’t exist when I can report back from a faraway place.

But that means I’ve been lying to myself … and everyone else. I let out a long exhale because I don’t want to hurt anyone or lose their trust, but a marriage of convenience would be the biggest lie of all.

I think of Cara and how badly I want her to be at the wedding if we’re really going through with it. I promise myself I’ll tell her the truth. Grandma Dolly must not have understood when I told her about the marriage of convenience.

“Does anyone know?” I ask.

“About our arrangement?” He shakes his head.

“Can I have one lifeline? One person to tell?”

Liam’s throat bobs on a swallow. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I owe it to my best friend.”

Liam’s eyes bulge. “Cara? My coach’s daughter?”

“She’s good at keeping secrets.” Probably. Maybe. I have no idea because I’ve never needed to ask her to keep one.

“It’s a terrible idea.” But he doesn’t say no.

“What about us being best friends?” I ask with a happy little bounce.

He grunts.

“Can we have a secret handshake?”

The corner of his lip twitches. “Can I touch your Bundt?”

I tip my head back in laughter.

Liam moves close, smoothing my hair behind my shoulder. My eyes lift to his. His gaze lands on my lips. He leans in until we’re a breath apart and asks, “Can I do this?

“For practice?”

Instead of answering, he presses his lips to mine. For practice, I’m sure.

We end up practicing a lot—missing out on pancakes, sneaking away to closets, taking long walks in the woods. We kiss so much that I lose track of time until three days go by and I’m in Mrs. Ellis’s master bedroom with sweeping views of the water and a well-appointed dressing room, getting ready to say I do .

The driveway is full. The dress is on. The smiles are wide.

Is this really happening?

Belinda, Aunt Goldie, Grannie Bell, Grandma Dolly, Ingrid, and a slew of hockey friends somehow orchestrated what’s shaping up to be a beautiful day.

From what I’ve seen, the scenery combined with the décor is nothing short of enchanting. Towering pines, wide oaks strung with fairy lights, and paper birch border what Belinda now calls the wedding barn, previously known as the ice hockey hang-out where we’ll have the reception. Artfully arranged wheelbarrows, tin planters, and hanging baskets of wildflowers add splashes of color. At the water’s edge is a small platform under an arch composed of evergreen swag, flowers, and ribbon which is where we’ll say our vows.

Rows of chairs backed with sprays of cedar, white roses, anemones, and peachy ranunculus and dahlias, wrapped with bows, matching my bouquet, fill in as a live string band plays and birds sing.

High over the lake, sunshine bathes the scene in soft light and everything glows. I have an upside down and inside out déjà vu feeling … I have been in this situation before, dressed in a wedding gown, about to get married. But not like this.

With friends, family, and neighbors bustling around, coming and going, everyone comments on how lovely and happy I look. It could be that I’m not under the threat of a lizard cult curse. But I should be a ball of nerves, because the more I think about how we’re fooling everyone, the deeper the guilt goes.

It’s phony and I need to tell someone that’s not Cara. She was so excited to be my maid of honor, I don’t want to burst her bubble.

Biting my lip, I excuse myself to the laundry room where I stashed my bag. I dial a number I jotted down in my bullet journal when I stopped at a gas station somewhere between California and Nebraska.

An enthusiastic recorded radio voice says, “Hi, you’ve reached KLUT, Central Utah’s number-one station for daytime hits and nighttime chats. If you know the extension you’d like to reach, please dial it now. If not, please listen carefully as our options on the dial do change, but be sure not to turn yours and tune in to KLUT day and night.”

I listen for DJ Melody in the directory and then press the numbers. I hear another recording this time of her inviting callers to leave love notes or call back during her Love Lines After Dark hour. Even with the time difference, I can’t delay what’s about to happen. But I need someone to know.

Drawing a deep breath, I decide to leave an anonymous message, “Hi, Melody. I heard your show right after I was left at the altar. I’m about to get married again. Not to the same guy. But not exactly for love. More like, well, like . I like him. A lot. Okay, maybe more than like. But we have a business arrangement. Kind of. I mean, I think. We’ve kissed. He’s my boss. Saying this out loud, so scattered and vague, makes it sound crazy and maybe it is. I guess I just needed someone to know. I’m sure you’ve heard some wild stories, but thanks for listening.” I click my phone off, conflicted.

I don’t feel relieved nor did I receive a clear sign that I should call off the wedding.

I gaze out the window. Liam, in a tux, stands below with his brother and dad. I’m in the land of giants—tall people, big personalities. Lots of love in this family.

Maybe I don’t belong. But perhaps I could.

Catching me alone by the window as I survey the scene unfolding below, Cara asks, “Are you okay?”

Letting out a breath, I answer, “I was his assistant, then nanny, and now I’ll be his wife. If he shows up.”

“Uh, Jess. We’re looking at him. Waiting. For you.” She takes my hands and squeezes, knowing what happened with Rexlan and likely that I’m feeling as delicate as the lace on my gown.

“But what if he decides he prefers his assistant?” I realize how ridiculous that sounds because I am his assistant.

She laughs as if I’m joking. More like tangled up with the lie we’re telling and the quiet little truth inside along with my ex’s family’s threats, which is part of the reason Liam and I are going through with this whole thing.

“What if Rexlan crashes the wedding?”

Cara squawks a laugh. “My father, half the Knights team, and countless hockey legends are out there ready on defense. Plus, Liam wouldn’t let him. Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

Like he can’t figure out how this happened? How he ended up with someone like me? How he wants to run for his life?

Grandma Dolly interrupts and signs that KJ wants to see me really quickly.

I wander into the hall and wearing a wild grin, he rushes toward me and then stops short. Because of the gown, he can’t hug my legs. At risk of popping a seem, I crouch down because I sure could use a hug right now.

But before I’m able to wrap my arms around him, he signs, “You look so pretty, Mommy.”

My heart leaps and the truth within rises up with sequins and a smile.

I wish this were real. Is it?

The bridal party gathers at the foot of the stairs, the ladies do last-minute touchups, and holding hands, Grannie Bell leads a prayer. My breathing comes quick and the words are little more than a hum in my ears.

I’m sipping air through a straw.

Smiling but not hearing anything being said.

God, if you’re there, lead my feet where you want them to go. Please lead me to love.

When we get outside, Liam is at the altar, waiting for me. Dressed in a dark gray tux and freshly shaved, he looks more handsome than ever. Who knew I had a thing for giant athletes … with abs.

Some people might think working out that much makes him vain and others might think I’m shallow for admiring them. While both might have some truth, what I realize now is that when Liam does something, he goes all in. He doesn’t say he’s going to work out and then drop off after a few sessions. When he commits, there’s no turning back.

Even though I am surrounded by the swarm of my bridal party, including Ingrid and Colette, his gaze finds mine in the crowd. The swizzles inside get all swizzly.

My pulse thunders and I blink because I don’t think I can go through with this.

Then the corner of his lips lifts ever so slightly. He discreetly mouths and signs the word wow . Or he could’ve been shooing away a fly and said ow , but it’s enough to keep me from running—not that I could get far in these high heels.

It’s probably silly to think this, but perhaps like his dedication to staying fit for hockey, we can provide KJ with a loving home … which is much more than I ever had and I’m ready to give it my all.