Page 13 of My Secret Duke
H e was formally dressed, although he had removed his tailed coat. He had also forgone the cream breeches worn on formal occasions for a pair of pantaloons, which displayed to advantage the shape of his legs. His fair hair was pomaded into a Brutus, but the plain style suited him, and his face was cleanly shaven above his perfectly tied cravat. There was a jeweled pin in the snowy white cloth which twinkled in the evening light.
He was very handsome.
And she must be in shock, because this was not the moment to be cataloguing Ivo’s attributes when she was meant to be meeting Niki. Unless…
“You did this!” Olivia shouted furiously. “You want to ruin my life!”
She moved toward him, not realizing she meant to strike him until he caught her wrist in a firm grip. His eyes blazed into hers.
“Ruin your life? You invited me here. Seven o’clock at the archery targets. A rematch.”
She stared up at him, trying to make sense of it. “I didn’t…” she croaked. “ You sent a note to me .” Or at least Prince Nikolai did.
It was Ivo’s turn to stare.
“Didn’t you?” she whispered in confusion. As soon as she’d seen him, she had immediately jumped to the conclusion that this was Ivo’s doing. But if it had been he who sent the note, he wouldn’t lie about it. And he would have boldly signed his own name. No, reckless he might be, but this was not the sort of underhanded thing Ivo would do.
Ivo drew in a breath. He was still holding her wrist, but now his fingers had slipped down to her hand. Their fingers interlaced as if it was natural for them to do so.
“I sent no note. I was surprised when you changed your mind and wanted to meet me, after you had made it clear to me earlier that you weren’t interested. I respected your wishes.” She went to object, but he cut her short. “Yes, I know I haven’t always respected them. You called me thoughtless, and I am, but to accuse me of ruining your life? Olivia, I won’t do that.”
Olivia tried to order her thoughts. There was complete sincerity in his face and in his voice. She believed him. But if he hadn’t sent the note, and neither had she, then who had? “I don’t understand why someone would try to bring us together.” She looked about her as if expecting the culprit to step out of the shrubs and declare themselves.
“A joke from one of your sisters?”
That was a possibility, she supposed, but it seemed too malicious, too spiteful.
Ivo said in a low voice, “Whoever did this, I’m glad they did.”
Olivia lost track of her thoughts. “You’re glad ?”
“I want to talk to you. Every time I try to talk, we argue or are interrupted.” He gave her an intense, searching look, awareness in those green depths. “I do not agree with your motives when it comes to the prince, but I will accept your choices. I understand, Olivia. I just don’t…” He lifted her hand and to her surprise brushed his lips across her knuckles. His voice deepened when he spoke. “I don’t like it.”
Olivia found it difficult to breathe. The light was fading, and the world had gone still apart from the birds calling softly as they settled for the night. “Why? Why don’t you like it?”
“Because he is wrong for you. He’ll make you miserable. So miserable that all the furs and diamonds in the world will not remedy it. I know you, Olivia.”
“These days, I hardly know myself,” she whispered.
“You need someone who can make you smile when you have the megrims. Someone who understands you can’t be sensible all the time. The prince is…” He paused, his shoulders straightening, his face taking on a familiar, haughty expression.
Laughter bubbled up inside her, along with a connection to him she struggled to resist. He made her feel as if she was caught in a tidal rip, being dragged in his direction despite all of her resolutions. “Don’t,” she said sharply.
“Why not?” His mouth twitched up into a wry smile. “You used to find my impressions amusing.”
“Yes, but now I need to be sensible and serious. I need to think of a future that will benefit my whole family.”
“Rather than one that will make you happy?” His eyes searched hers. “Do you know, you hurt me when you rejected my offer of marriage.”
She was softening toward him, and she must not. “Ivo, please—”
“No, let me say it.” He shifted awkwardly, and she realized he was feeling uncomfortable. “Afterward, I was hurt, and I wanted to hurt you too. Childish, but there it is.” Why hadn’t he spoken like this to her the day of his proposal? Honestly and frankly. “But I do understand why you think Prince Nikolai is the right choice. You see happiness as a small price to pay for all the good his wealth and prestige will bring to you. You have five sisters. I understand, I really do. I have only two sisters, and I find the expense of supporting them and keeping them in bonnets keeps me awake most nights.”
He had made her laugh despite herself.
His voice became serious again. “But you cannot live your life for your sisters, Olivia. It would be such a waste.”
That hurt. There was a hollow ache in her chest, and she found herself wrestling with the longing to throw herself into his arms, and that would never do. “Nikolai might have hidden depths,” she managed in a voice that tried to be indifferent.
“Ask Leopold. If anyone knows about the prince’s hidden depths, then it is his stallion.”
This time, she shook her head and covered her face with her hands. “Olivia,” he murmured, the wretch, and drew her into his arms.
She could feel the steady beat of his heart and smell the vanilla scent of his pomade. She felt dizzy. He lifted her chin and gazed down at her, and she felt helpless to resist him. The pull of him was drawing her inexorably closer. How did he do this to her? What was it about him that meant that all her good intentions could be overturned in a moment?
He cupped her cheek in his palm, and his warm breath touched her lips. “I want to kiss you,” he said, his voice deep with longing. “Will you let me?”
No , she thought. Definitely not. And at the same time, Olivia stood up on her tiptoes as she slipped her arms around his neck and brushed her lips against his.
He froze, as if her forwardness had surprised him, but it was only for a moment and then he capitulated. Ivo leaned in, pressing his lips to hers more firmly. His tongue slid along her bottom lip, and he tugged gently with his teeth. She gasped, and he moaned, as if he were as powerless as she. His mouth caressed hers, and it felt amazing. A million emotions swam up inside her, while her blood caught fire, and her legs trembled so that she wondered if she would fall without him holding her up. This was like nothing she had ever experienced before, and yet the warning signs had been there. Some part of her had known from the moment they first met that he could be her downfall.
“I want you,” he said, nuzzling against her, peppering her with little kisses, as if he would cover her entirely.
“I want you too.” And right now, she did want him.
The words were barely out of her mouth when there was a shout.
“Olivia!”
Gabriel came striding from the shadows so suddenly that Olivia struggled to understand exactly what was happening. The heat and the desire that had her head spinning received a dash of cold water, and common sense came rushing back.
“Gabriel,” she managed to speak as he reached them. She had not seen her brother this angry since the night of the billiards match. For a moment, she was seized by a cowardly urge to turn and run, hide herself in the lush foliage that surrounded the clearing, and wait until this was over. It was a lily-livered impulse, and Olivia was never that, so she stood her ground. Her fingers were being crushed in a viselike grip, and that was when she realized she and Ivo were still holding hands. With a wordless cry, she pulled away, putting distance between them.
Ivo cleared his throat, giving Olivia an apologetic glance before he spoke. “It isn’t as you think, Grantham.”
“What do I think, Northam?” Gabriel glared at Ivo, disgust in every line of him. “That you have indulged in another of your ridiculous wagers? What was it this time? Ruin Olivia? Oh wait, you already tried that.”
Ivo straightened. He sounded as if he was trying to keep his anger under control. “Someone sent us both notes with a time and a place for a meeting. Mine was signed Olivia, and Olivia’s…?” He looked to her as if realizing he did not know the answer.
“Prince Nikolai,” she said.
Gabriel waved a hand to dismiss their excuses. “You were kissing!” he roared. He seemed to recollect himself and took a breath. “You were kissing,” he said more quietly. “Don’t you realize how serious this is? Anyone could have seen you. What a wonderful piece of gossip it would be. Word would spread like a spark in dry kindling, and before we knew it, you’d be utterly and completely ruined.”
He was right. Olivia knew he was right. A vision flashed into her head, another of those dreadful cartoons depicting herself and Ivo, clasped together. She had tried so hard to be good, to do as she knew she ought, and in a single, rash moment, all of her efforts had been consigned to oblivion.
“I am sincerely sorry,” Ivo said, and his voice sounded shakier than she had ever heard it. “This is my fault.” He shot a glance at Olivia, and she had the awful feeling he was going to ask her to marry him. Again. And she would have to refuse him. Again.
Gabriel barely gave him a glance, his voice gruff with restrained fury. “I wish to speak to my sister alone, Northam. Perhaps you could escort Georgia back to the house and make an appearance at the ball before everyone notices you’re both missing. I will deal with you later.”
Georgia.
Of course! Her most disliked sister. That explained the sensation that someone was following her through the garden. Georgia would have loved running to fetch Gabriel and tell him her tales. Olivia peered into the gloom and saw the girl, hovering at the edge of the clearing. “You will be sorry—” she began.
“Stop it,” Gabriel barked. “Georgia has done nothing wrong. Unlike you.” Then, with barely a glance at Ivo, “Are you still here?”
Anyone else would have left immediately, and yet Ivo remained. “Olivia, do you want me to stay?” he asked quietly.
She supposed it was courageous of him, but it would only make matters worse. “No,” she said. “Please, go. The ball will have started… What if people wonder where we are?”
There was no answer to that. Ivo gave a somber nod, and set off toward the path, where Georgia waited.
Olivia spoke before Gabriel could. “Did… Do you think anyone noticed?”
“Of course they did! It was your mother who drew everyone’s attention to the fact you were missing.”
Olivia stared back at him. Her mother had drawn attention to her absence. In normal circumstances, one could assume Felicia was worried, but Olivia did not think that was the case. Mischievous was more likely. Manipulative. Olivia could well be ruined because of it. But no, Olivia had done this to herself. All of her hard work, all of her promises, and after a few moments alone with Ivo, this was the result.
“Well, have you nothing to say?”
Olivia’s voice broke. “Gabriel, I truly am sorry. So sorry. I don’t know what… why… Is it over? My last chance?”
He shook his head, then looked to the heavens as if he could find an answer to her behavior there. The stars twinkled down in silence. Gabriel held out his arm to her. “I don’t know,” he said, “but we need to get back.” She slid her trembling fingers into the crook of his elbow. “Don’t despair yet. I’ll make up some nonsense,” he went on as they walked back through the garden. “I thought you had learned your lesson, but Northam seems to bring out the worst in you.” They took the path to the side of the house, farthest away from the chatter of the guests and the music from the orchestra.
“I don’t understand it either,” she said in a bewildered way because she truly was bemused by her behavior. It was as if that fire Ivo had lit in her was impossible to put out, and no matter how hard she tried, it kept reigniting. Was this her life from now on? Would she become an outcast from the society she had so longed to inhabit? Her spirits sank with each step she took.
“My advice is to stay away from him.”
He wanted to believe this was all Ivo’s fault. She would have shown him the note, but it was in her room, and besides, he’d probably think Ivo wrote it to deceive her.
Gabriel had stopped. “Well?” he said bleakly. “This really will be your final chance, Olivia. I don’t have the time or the patience to keep digging you out of these holes. You have five sisters who need my help. Your actions reflect on them. You know this.”
“Yes. Please. I promise never to do this again. I’m so, so sorry.”
He nodded, but his expression didn’t soften. “Unfortunately, your mother made her concerns about your absence known to Prince Nikolai. She didn’t exactly say that you and Northam were an item, but one could easily draw that conclusion. As you know, the prince is a stickler for the rules, and to be embroiled in scandal would send him off on that stallion of his at a gallop.”
That was too much to take in. Her mother had spoken to the prince, and Olivia may well have lost her chance to win him.
“Look, Vivienne seems to think you want to marry the man, Olivia, but if you don’t, you have only to say. Don’t let our grandmother bully you into doing something you don’t want to do. I know how that feels. But no more scandals, do you hear me?” He had turned to her, and despite the shadows, she knew he was watching her keenly.
If anyone knew about being pressured into marriage against one’s wishes, it was Gabriel. For a time, he had believed it his duty to ignore his heart, but thankfully, he had woken up.
“It’s not as simple as that,” she said.
“Olivia, it is. Something I have learned the hard way. It is very simple—you just have to make the choice that is right for you. As long as it isn’t Northam. I draw the line there.”
She found her voice again. “I do want to marry the prince. I’m sorry, Gabriel. It will not happen again.”
He raised his eyebrows as if he didn’t believe her, which in the circumstances was understandable. “If you genuinely mean it, then you will need to repair the damage your mother has caused. Perhaps it was well meant.” But he didn’t sound as if he entirely believed that.
“My mother hates you,” Olivia interrupted urgently. “I saw her watching you during dinner last night and… Don’t trust her, Gabriel. I think she is up to something.”
He frowned. “Up to what, exactly?”
But Olivia didn’t know the answer. Had her mother been responsible for the notes that had brought Ivo and Olivia together? Was she intentionally trying to obstruct the Ashtons’ bid to return to their rightful place in the ton? A bitter revenge for all she had suffered? They had reached the side door into the house, and Gabriel opened it. The noise grew louder as they approached the ballroom, which was brightly lit, with guests whirling, fine clothing rippling, and jewelry twinkling. They looked like actors on a stage, and Olivia felt anxious and on edge. She had to join them and play her part. Her very last chance, Gabriel had said, and she had to take it. Gabriel paused just beyond the reach of the candles. “Ready?”
She managed a feeble smile. “Will you dance with me?”
“Of course I will,” he said, and led her into the ballroom.