Page 37 of My Return to the Walter Boys (My Life with the Walter Boys #2)

Yeah, uh-huh. To my knowledge, this was Cole’s first time bringing a donation despite working on the basement for two weeks and Tony’s being only a few blocks away from the community center.

“Well, you missed the drop-off spot.” Which was in the lobby he’d walked through moments ago and marked with impossible-to-miss signage.

“If you head back upstairs, I’m sure you’ll find the table with a huge sign taped to the front that says ‘All Donations Here.’ If not, you can ask Gabby for directions,” I said, pointing her out.

“She’s a community center employee, so she knows her way around. ”

“I don’t see her,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. “Why don’t you show me instead?”

If he was going to be difficult, then two could play that game. I set my jaw. “I’m really busy right now. I should get back to work.”

Cole’s gaze flicked down to the dishes, then back up to me. “I’m sure those will still be here when you get back. Plus, I don’t plan on leaving until we talk.”

I exhaled through my mouth, blowing the breath up into my bangs. “Okay, fine. Follow me.”

After leading him back to the lobby where he delivered the bin, I headed for the front doors.

Hopefully, we could slip outside before Katherine saw us.

Cole removed a Tony’s Auto Repair snapback cap from his back pocket and pulled it on as he stepped out beside me.

The rain had stopped, but the sky was still overcast, and mist clung to the ground in swirling, wispy ribbons.

Two volunteers chatted quietly as they took a smoke break.

Whatever conversation we were about to have required privacy, so I gestured to a paver walkway that meandered through banal landscaping toward a grove of pine trees with a wooden gazebo at the center.

Neither of us spoke as we followed the path away from the building, and I spent those minutes arranging my thoughts.

I knew I couldn’t keep avoiding Cole, but how was I supposed to tell my maybe sort of boyfriend that we had to break up because I didn’t want to be kicked out of his family in the event we didn’t work out? The mental gymnastics was draining.

When we reached the gazebo, Cole motioned for me to step inside first. It had built-in benches, most of which were wet from the rain. I found a small section that looked dry, brushed my hand over the wood to make sure I wouldn’t spend the rest of the day wearing damp jeans, and sat down.

“That was a pretty slick move you pulled this morning.” Cole leaned back against the support post opposite me, tucking one foot over the other with a casual grace that was annoying and attractive at the same time. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“What move?” I asked.

“Offering my mom help with the rummage sale to get out of your chores,” he replied, flashing me his dimple. “I’d watch out if I were you. Isaac is furious. He thought he was done mucking stalls for the foreseeable future, and you ruined that for him.”

“First off,” I said, which made Cole’s smile bloom in full, “I told your mom I’d do my chores when we get home.

If Isaac hadn’t opened his mouth, then she never would have paid him any attention, and I’d still be responsible for the stalls.

Second, how is Isaac being pissed at me news?

In case you missed it, your cousin has been angry with the universe for months now. ”

He chuckled. “Fair. It’s kinda hard to miss when he’s being arrested.”

“Any idea what his issue is?” I asked since we were on the topic. “Alex and Nathan said it started after your uncle visited, but they—

Cole didn’t let me finish. “I didn’t come here to talk about Isaac.”

Down to business, then. “Okay.” I calmly crossed my legs. “What would you like to talk about?”

“Don’t do that,” he said with a frown.

“Do what?”

“ That. ” He gestured at me vaguely. “Don’t talk to me like I’m a kindergartner you need to placate while acting like everything is fine.”

“I’m not acting—”

“Yes, you are.” Annoyance was creeping into his voice, so he paused and slowly inhaled through his nose.

“Listen, I’ve tried giving you space, but it’s been over a week, and you won’t even look at me.

You know that makes me feel like shit, right?

I get that you’re not used to being reprimanded, and that freaked you out, but come on, Jackie.

My mom won’t send me away if we spend time together. ”

“I’m sorry,” I said, wincing at his pinched expression. “You’re probably right, but…I don’t think we should risk it.”

The notch between his brows deepened, and he straightened up. “Risk what?”

Your family .

When I didn’t answer, Cole added, “Is this an excuse because you’re still mad about O’Brady’s? Or is it because I walked out on our conversation in the barn? I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I was ticked off and didn’t want to snap at you.”

“I’m not making excuses, I just”—I took a deep breath—“I don’t think this is working.”

A taut silence stretched between us as Cole stared at me, his eyes narrowing.

“What do you mean, ‘this isn’t working’?” he finally asked in a carefully controlled tone. “This, as in our three-week-long relationship?”

My throat constricted. “I—yes.”

“No shit, Jackie,” he said through clenched teeth. Even from five feet away, I could feel the frustration pouring off him in waves. “You haven’t given us enough time for it to work.”

“Exactly how much time do I owe you, then?” I said as a tiny flame of resentment kindled in my chest. “A month? Three?” It was an unfair question, but there was a defiant look in Cole’s eyes that said he wouldn’t lie down and roll over so easily.

If I had to resort to fighting fire with fire, so be it.

“When I came back in August, I warned you that I’m not okay yet.

So I’m sorry our relationship isn’t at the top of my priority list, but my entire world imploded, and I’m just starting to put the pieces back together.

I wish I could snap my fingers and be all healed up for you, but it doesn’t work that way, Cole. ”

“That’s what you’re going with? The you’re too broken spiel?” He shook his head. “Give me a break, Jackie. Neither of us are stupid enough to believe that.”

I bristled. “So you think I’m pretending to be upset?”

“Of course not! Anyone with eyes can see that you’re still struggling.” A vein pulsed in his temple as he spoke. “Do you honestly think I haven’t noticed that you struggle to breathe when something reminds you of your family? Or how you’re up at the crack of dawn each day because you can’t sleep?”

“What’s your point?”

Cole yanked off his snapback and carved his fingers through his hair, gripping it at the roots before letting go. He jammed the hat back on. “Remember when I took you to the Rift?” he asked. “We were having a really great time, but then you found that teacup.”

“I remember,” I whispered as the memory coiled around my chest like a vise.

“I could tell you were on the verge of spiraling, but that didn’t happen, did it?” The floor of the gazebo creaked as he walked over and crouched down in front of me. “You pushed through the pain so you could stay in the moment with me, and that means something, Jackie.”

“Oh really? Like what? That being with you will heal me?” I scoffed and rolled my eyes even as a thread of doubt wove its way through the cracks in my psyche. What if he was right? What if being with him helped, and he was exactly what I needed?

No, stop! I couldn’t start second-guessing myself.

“Well, I wouldn’t put it like that, but…

yeah,” he admitted, his familiar cocky smile flickering to life on his face, then dying just as quickly.

He reached out and put his hand on my knee.

“Living in Colorado, spending time with me and my family, all that is good for you. You’re doing way better than this summer, and don’t try to deny it.

Danny told me how bad things got. It’s only been two months, but now you’re running election campaigns and being a big sister to Parker and worrying about Isaac even though he’s turned into a raging asshole.

Don’t push me away because we got into a little bit of trouble. ”

He said this all so easily, with his whole chest, like if he spoke with enough conviction, it would changes things. It made my heart hurt, knowing that even if he was right, my mind was already made up. He had no idea what was at stake for me, how much worse off I’d be if I lost another family.

“Cole…”

“No, listen. This is gonna sound cheesy, but being with you makes me feel right in a way I haven’t felt since playing football,” he told me, his voice rough with emotion. “I know you’re still grieving, but let me support you through it. I don’t want to lose this feeling with you.”

The expression on his face was so soft, his eyes so blue.

“That’s not fair,” I said, shrinking away from his gaze. The tender way he was watching me was overwhelming, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. “You can’t put the pressure of your happiness on my shoulders.”

Time paused for a single, breathless beat, but that was all it took for his mood to shift.

“Are you shitting me?” He rose out of his crouched position so he was standing over me and clenched his fists. “That’s not what I’m doing at all.”

“Really? Considering your whole life right now, and then you tell me I’m the only good part of it…” I lifted my shoulder in a half shrug.

“What do you mean?” he snapped. “What are you saying about my life right now?”

“You know exactly what I mean!” I exclaimed, losing my patience. “You decide to defer school, then start brooding because you feel left behind, because all you’re doing is working at your jobs and have nothing going on—”

Cole reared back as if I’d struck him. “Is that how you see it?”

Crap, that came out wrong. “No, I—”

“What?” he spat. “You think I’m some loser because I don’t have a bright, shiny future at Princeton lined up for myself like you do?”

I looked down at my hands in my lap. “Those are your words, not mine.” This wasn’t how I’d wanted our conversation to go, for Cole to believe I thought so little of him, but how could I fix things now when the final outcome would be the same either way?

“Well, you’ve obviously been thinking them if you feel like I’m putting the pressure of my happiness on your shoulders.”

“Cole, please,” I said, trying to tell him he was getting things twisted, but he was done listening, done talking, done with me.

“No!” He slashed his hand through the air to cut me off. “Just forget it, Jackie. You don’t need to concern yourself with my feelings anymore. Clearly, they were never a priority for you to begin with.”

Then Cole walked away just like he had that night in the barn.

The difference was this time, it felt like for good.