Page 19 of My Orc Contract Husband (Eastshore Isle #9)

Before he could catch me again, I slid my palm downward to cup his cock, then wrapped my fingers around it through the cotton of his boxers.

It was large and ridged and perfect, and I was so enthralled by the feel of him beneath my hands that I almost missed the way he gasped, eyes closing on a whimper as his face twisted into something like… Sorrow?

I kept my gaze locked on his face as I stroked him slowly. Up and down, my mouth watering and my thighs pressing together. His expression—pain, regret—should make me pause, but I was touching my first cock, and I couldn’t stop myself.

“Thank you, Tarkhan,” I whispered. “It feels incredible. I’ve been dreaming of your cock.”

With a groan, his face tipped to one side, away from me, and I pushed.

“Does it feel good? When I touch you like this?”

“Yes,” he rasped, then squeezed his lips together as if he hadn’t meant to admit that.

I could tell from how hard he was, how his cock jumped beneath my hand, that he did like this. I wanted to pull aside his boxers and see all of him…but he was miserable.

My hand stilled.

“I want you, Tarkhan. We’re married, and you’ve made me come about a thousand times. Can I—is there a reason I can’t do the same for you?”

I don’t know if it was a word I’d uttered or just the concept of me making him orgasm, but whatever it was, Tarkhan abruptly sat up, pushing my hand away from his cock and swinging his legs over the bed.

“My cock doesn’t need to get involved,” he blurted, not looking at me. “I enjoy bringing you pleasure, and that’s enough for me. Why can’t it be enough for you? ”

Was this our first argument? I rose up to my knees and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my chin against his back. “Because I want to do the same for you. I would enjoy myself more if you let me bring you pleasure too.”

With a groan, he dropped his head into his palms, elbows resting on his knees. “Sami, just…” I saw him swallow as I moved to sit beside him. “Just leave it be.”

A good wife would likely follow his instructions.

I wasn’t a good wife.

“No,” I said gently, reaching for his wrist, wrapping both hands around it. “We’re married now, Tarkhan. Please tell me what’s wrong with the way I—why don’t you want to…” I swallowed. “Why won’t you fuck me?”

His head jerked up and his eyes met mine, angry and…and the spark of green I’d seen earlier was now brighter. “I fuck you every night, Sami, with my fingers and my tongue. You come over and over again?—”

“Yes, I do.” I pulled his hand toward me so I could wrap my fingers through his. “ But you don’t. ”

He stared at me, shoulders heaving with his heavy breaths, eyes flashing. But I held my ground, unafraid. He would never do anything to hurt me.

“Tell me, Tarkhan,” I whispered. “Why don’t you want?—”

“Because I’m ashamed, alright?” he blurted, his face turned away from me. “I want you, Sami—the gods below know it. But… ”

My shame. He’d hinted about it that day in the barn, but it was related to his cock? No, to sex in general?

“Whatever happened to you,” I whispered, pulling his hand against my stomach, curling around it as if I could comfort him. “The reason you had to leave. It was because of sex, wasn’t it?”

He didn’t answer, but I could tell from the rapid rise and fall of his chest that he was fighting with himself. So I pushed again.

“I can be happy with what you’re willing to give me, Tarkhan. Really, I can be—I am . I love the way you bring me pleasure. But you’re not giving me the truth. I don’t need your cock in me to be complete?—”

The way he groaned and dropped his head back, almost in surrender, made me pause.

“Please, Tarkhan,” I whispered.

With his head in that position, I saw him swallow. Saw the moment he gave in.

“Where I grew up, young males experimented with each other.”

Experiemented? “Sexually?” It made sense, if there were limited females, but was that what he was ashamed of? I gripped his hand. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

His lips curled wryly, and he didn’t open his eyes. “I was good at it, Sami. Very good. I liked it, I liked bringing others pleasure. I liked the way they thought of me, like I was someone special.”

You are special . I wanted to blurt it, but instead I tried to be reasonable .

“That’s not a reason to be ashamed.”

“No, it’s not.”

He suddenly stood, pulling his hand from my hold, and crossing to the window that looked out over our backyard. As if he still couldn’t meet my eyes.

“When I reached my seventh year, my mother had a daughter. Torrah was her second daughter—my older sister was Mated when I was still a boy—and cause for great celebration. My mother was honored for helping to secure the future of our clan. So few females had been born these last centuries that two in one family must be a gift from the gods.”

It was the hollowness of his tone which told me what was going to happen.

Oh no .

I pulled my heels up on the mattress and wrapped my arms around my knees, gaze locked on his back.

“She was ten,” he finally said, beginning again.

“Torrah was ten, and I was a young man, assigned to watch her. I would’ve rather spent time with my friends.

Abydos and I…” He shook his head, his hands lifting to grip the window jamb, knuckles white.

“I didn’t realize Torrah was playing in the river while I was coming in his hand. ”

His head tipped forward to press against the windowpane, and his voice lowered to a harsh rasp.

“It wasn’t until we found her body downstream that I realized I’d betrayed my family—betrayed my little sister—for pleasure.

” His shoulders hunched. “My mother made it clear she could barely stand to be around me after that, since I was responsible not just for the death of Torrah but the future of the clan.”

Dear God in Heaven . “That’s horrible,” I whispered, slowly unfolding my legs to stand. “Tarkhan, it wasn’t your fault that she drowned.”

Without hesitation, he shot back, “Yes it was. I should have been paying attention.”

Maybe if he’d been watching her, Torrah wouldn’t have died, but I didn’t know the situation. All I knew was that my husband—this wonderful male who’d done so much for me—was still torturing himself more than a decade later.

Chin up, I padded naked across the room. I saw him tense as I got closer, and reminded myself how much better orc senses were than mine.

My hands slid around his middle, and I pressed myself against his back. “And if it was?” I whispered as my fingers splayed across his chest.

I felt him shudder. “If it’s my fault?”

“You think you don’t deserve happiness?” I kissed the tense muscles in his back.

“You don’t think you deserve pleasure, because the last time you allowed yourself to feel it, tragedy struck?

” Another kiss. “You’ve spent your entire life bringing pleasure to others, haven’t you, as a sort of punishment? ”

His head tipped back. “I don’t deserve pleasure, Sami, but I can bring it to others. If I hadn’t been focused on myself that day?— ”

“You were focused on someone else,” I corrected him, my lips against his skin. “Did you love Abydos?”

A pause, then I felt him sigh. “Not the way you’re asking. Not the way I—” He shook his head. “He’s my best friend. He came with us to Eastshore, because his processing plant is only a few hours from here, but he mostly stays in Colorado.”

“And do you and him…?” I let the question trail off, and he answered with a rueful sort of snort.

“He’s a grumpy bastard and barely wanted anything to do with me back then. But since we’ve come to the human’s world, since we’ve been lucky enough to find females…he and I have only been friends.”

Now I was stroking his chest, and I took a deep breath, knowing he could feel all of me pressed against his back.

“Listen to me, Tarkhan. You are my husband, and I’m telling you this as your wife. You are a good male. A lifetime of deprivation can’t make up for one mistake. You don’t need to keep punishing yourself.”

“You don’t understand—” he choked out.

But I’d decided words weren’t going to be enough, so I tugged him around. “I think I do.”

I pulled him toward the bed. “ Sami ,” he groaned, half exacerbation, half surrender as he turned to me.

Using his movement, I reached for the waistline of his boxers and pulled them down even as I pushed him backward. I wasn’t strong enough to think I made him fall on my own, but he went anyway, his dark eyes still flashing green as his ass hit the mattress .

Planting my hands on his shoulders, I leaned forward until I knew I had his full attention.

“Listen to me, Tarkhan. I’m your wife, and you agreed to share your life with me, right?”

His lips formed the word yes , and I nodded firmly.

“And I’m telling you, you’ve been punished enough. Oh, we’re going to therapy to deal with all this shit, but for now, I’m tired of you depriving yourself over some weird chastisement.”

When he opened his mouth, I frowned fiercely and got into his face. “You’re mine, Tarkhan, and I get to say when you’ve had enough pain.”

With that, I sunk to my knees between his thighs.

Before he could realize my plan, I reached for his cock with both my hands. Good Lord, it was even more wonderful than I’d imagined. I lowered my mouth to the head, the way I’d practiced with my dildo, and heard him groan.

“Sami.” His whispered rasp was half a plea, half a blessing.

I wasn’t going to let him pull back, though.

This was my first time seeing—touching, tasting his cock, and I wasn’t going to waste it.

I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock, tracing the ridges that made him uniquely Tarkhan.

I felt him tense, his hands dropping to grip the bedsheets as if he was trying to hold back.

But I wasn’t having it. I wanted him to lose control, to experience the pleasure I was determined to bring him .

I took him deeper into my mouth, inch by inch, relaxing my jaw to accommodate his size. His cock was thick, a challenge to someone who’d never done this before. I heard him growl, a sound of reluctant pleasure, as I slid him out again.

“Sami, you don’t have to do this,” he ground out, even as his hips lifted slightly, seeking more of the warmth of my mouth.

I tried to smile—part in pleasure, part in victory—but I couldn’t. Instead, I stroked his cock with both hands, spreading my saliva along the shaft, imagining what it would be like to feel him inside me. Between my legs, I felt my pussy throbbing, and heard his sharp inhalation.

“Sami,” he rasped, his hand going to the back of my head.

Yes ! I wanted to crow.

Risking pulling him from my mouth, I rested my jaw as I peered up at him. “I see why you do this now.” Still stroking, I pulled his cock forward to rest between my breasts, smiling up at his flashing green gaze. “I understand what you mean about bringing others pleasure.”

His tongue flashed out to brush against his tusk, but he didn’t speak.

Holding his gaze, I leaned forward to drag my tongue across the head of his cock, licking a bead of spicy pre-cum from its tip. “Cinnamon,” I breathed happily. “You taste like cinnamon, Tarkhan, and I’m beyond aroused.”

“Then—” He tried again, even as his fingers tightened in my hair. “Come up here and let me pleasure you. ”

“It’s my turn. Just give into it, husband,” I commanded, as I bent over him once more.

He let out a shuddering breath, his resistance crumbling.

I took him back into my mouth, determined to make him come.

I used my hands to stroke what I couldn’t fit into my mouth, twisting slightly as I moved.

His cock was slick with my saliva, the ridges creating a unique sensation against my tongue and lips.

This might be my first practice with a cock, but I’d had weeks of my own experience to call on. When his breaths began to come in short pants, and his hips rocked in time with my movements, I guessed he was getting close to losing control.

But he was still holding back, still resisting his release. I redoubled my efforts, taking him even deeper, my hands working him faster, my tongue teasing him. This wasn’t just a battle of wills, but me fighting against more than decade of pain and hurt and deprivation.

I would bring him pleasure.

Not because of what Tarkhan had done for me, but because he deserved it. He deserved pleasure in his life, and I was blessed to be the one to bring it to him.

I hummed around his cock, the vibration making him groan loudly. I could taste his cinnamon, a promise of what was to come. I wanted it, wanted him to lose control, to give me everything.

In my enthusiasm, I accidently grazed my teeth along his shaft and winced in apology, even as I felt the shudder that ran through him. His second hand finally left the bedsheets, cupping my cheek, his thumb brushing gently across my skin.

I looked up at him, my eyes meeting his as I swirled my tongue around the tip of his cock, stroking him with both hands. His eyes were wild, his tusks glinting in the soft light of the room. I could see the battle raging within him, the need to let go warring with his guilt.

Still stroking, I pulled my mouth from him and held his gaze. “You are worthy of pleasure, Tarkhan. You deserve happiness,” I said, hoping he would understand.

It worked.

He groaned, a deep, guttural sound that sent shivers down my spine as I stroked. This was it. I had won.

“ Dkaar ,” he rasped, his body tensing, and I barely had time to lower my tongue to him.

He came, his cock pulsing against my lips, his release hot and spicy, the taste of cinnamon filling my senses. I swallowed eagerly, but it wasn’t enough, and his thick cum spilled from my mouth, down my chin to my chest, coating me in Tarkhan .

It should have been disgusting, but it wasn’t. It made me feel powerful and sexy and honored, all at once.

My hands still stroked him—slowly, softly—as I rocked back on my heels to meet his eyes.

They still glowed that strange green, but as I watched, they closed gently. I moved my hands to his thighs, ready to stand. But then two tears slid from the corners of his eyes, rolling down his cheeks .

“Oh, Tarkhan,” I whispered, my heart breaking at his display of surrender.

His sharp inhale sounded more like a sob, and I thrust upward, wrapping my arms around him as we tumbled backward onto the bed. He pressed his face against my shoulder, and I stroked his back, whispering praise and promises as—at long last—he allowed himself to feel .

Feel remorse, feel guilt, feel pleasure.

Feel pleasure .

I’d brought him pleasure, and I understood now what a great responsibility it was. I’d broken down his defenses, and now it was up to me to help him rebuild again.

Except this time, I was going to be on the inside with him.

With my Tarkhan.