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I sat awake in the living room while Mer, my best friends, and my daughter all slept soundly, and I couldn’t get over how perfect it felt.

This was how things were supposed to be.

This was where Mer belonged.

I wasn’t sure where her head was at, but I still wanted everything with her. I still wanted all of our teenage dreams. So so badly. I wanted the awkward wall between us decimated. I wanted to be able to freely comfort her and hold her without her questioning it– because I could see those wheels turning in her head, wondering if she should pull away from me. Honestly, I just wanted her to be mine again.

But if she didn’t want me in that way, if she couldn’t do this again, I’d take whatever she’d give me, even if that meant just friendship and being Lucy’s coach. I just knew that I’d never lose her again.

She was mine to protect all those years ago and I failed. But maybe… Maybe we still had a lot of good ahead of us.

But it’s almost like my subconscious wouldn’t let me move forward just yet, because in my sleep, it dragged me back to the past.