Page 46 of (My Accidental) Killer Summer (Summers in Seaside)

forty-five

. . .

Elle

“Get on your belly, baby.”

I scramble to turn over to my stomach. His hand snakes into my hair and takes hold.

My head snaps back, the sharp pain makes me moan with pleasure.

His lips move down my back as his hands pull my midsection up and back until I’m all on fours in front of him with ass in the air.

His fingers bite into my hips as his thumbs caress my butt cheeks.

He parts them slightly and leans in to lick me from front to back.

And when a growl sounds in the air, I’m not sure which one of us it came from.

I don’t want to stop to breathe for fear this won’t be real, I’ll blink, and he’ll be gone again.

His thumb moves closer to my hole, circling it slowly. My thighs clench in anticipation and his grip on my hips tightens. I’ll be bruised and sore later, but I already know that right now is worth it.

“Such a good girl,” he groans, his voice husky.

His thumb pushes inside my ass at the same time his cock thrusts into my pussy. It’s more than I can take, and I orgasm immediately, my head dropping to my hands gripped together on the bed.

A guttural noise escapes his chest that doesn’t even sound human, as he pounds into me. Every forward thrust has me pushing back against him to take it harder. Deeper. I’m insatiable. I’m starving.

He just keeps going. Faster. Rutting into me like an animal into with a force beyond our control. His thumb moving in and out at almost as fast as pace. Splitting me apart in all the right ways. Pushing through every barrier I’ve erected around my heart over the last few years.

In. Out.

Breaking down my walls.

In. Out.

Banishing my insecurities.

The bond between us growing with an intensity I’m not sure I even fathom yet.

I’m going to come again. Fast and hard.

“Noah! Noah! I can’t, ohmigod, I need?—”

“I got you, beautiful,” he says. He slides his fingers forward until they find my clit. And with one little tap, he annihilates my world.

“Jesus. Fuck. Elle, I’m going to come.” Noah’s grip on me becomes painful as he thrusts - one, two, three times before releasing into me with an unnatural sounding roar.

We drop to the bed as one and stay that way for a while, chests heaving, minds spinning, hearts overflowing as we slowly return to earth from the orbit that spun us out of control.

His weight on me feels warranted, not smothering.

Like I worked hard for it. I want to stay like this forever.

Noah rolls us to the side so we’re spooning, his cock still inside me.

Our combined juices already trickling down my thighs.

“God, baby.” Noah buries his head in my neck and clutches me to him tighter. “I fucking missed you so much.”

I want to say something like in return. I did miss him. More than anything. And I hope he means it when he says he’s back. With all my heart I hope it. But fucking isn’t going to fix the issues we’ve had. We have.

And…

Fuck.

“Noah, we didn’t use protection,” I whisper.

“Babe, we don’t need anything like that.”

“Don’t we?” My question hangs in the air between us.

“Elle—” he starts.

“I haven’t been with anyone since you, Noah.” I turn in his arms to face him and brush the lock of hair from his forehead that fallen there. I let my statement hang right alongside my question.

His silence says everything I need to know. I want to go back to that moment a few hours ago where I didn’t give a fuck that he’d been with someone else. But that’s harder to do with his cum dripping out of me.

“I… I’ve been tested,” he says.

“I need to pee,” I say, untangling myself from his embrace and getting off the bed to head to the bathroom. I need a minute to regroup. But instead of giving that to me, he follows me.

“Elle.” He pushes at the bathroom door when I try to shut it in his face. “It’s not like I haven’t seen you take a piss before.”

“That was before,” I say, closing the door gently in his face and locking it audibly.

“You are and always will be the only woman I’ve ever loved. I’ve ever wanted.”

I finish. Flush. Wash my hands. And study my reflection in the mirror.

I look love struck. And who can blame me.

I just got fucked into never-never land by my ex-husband who I’ve never stopped wanting.

I hate this back and forth I’m feeling. One second everything is fine.

The next second I’m afraid of everything and convinced he’s going to burn it all to the ground again.

I smooth back my hair as best I can and throw on a robe before I open the door and paste a smile on my face.

“I’m going to go downstairs and start breakfast for the kids.

They’ll be home from the sleepover any minute to get ready for school.

Even though Jill is suspended, it’s in-school so she still needs to go.

And, even with everything that happened, I think Jaq should go to school.

I need to tell you about the meeting with the Principal and Guidance Counselor at some point. Feel free to shower or whatever.”

“Elle—”

I move to brush past him.

“Don’t do this,” he says, fingers firm around my arm. Not bruising. Anchoring.

“Do what?” I ask, breath steady only because I practiced it in the mirror sixty seconds ago. “Be a responsible adult with a functioning bladder?”

His jaw flexes. “Pull away. Pretend that didn’t mean anything.”

“It did,” I say. “It also meant we didn’t use protection.”

He flinches. It’s small, but I catch it. “I’ll go to the pharmacy,” he says. “Right now.”

“It’s almost seven a.m. and the kids will be here any second, if they aren’t already,” I say. “And we’re not explaining to them why Mom and Dad need Plan B while serving up their breakfast.” I exhale. “We’ll handle it after school drop-off. Together.”

Relief hits his face like shade on a too-hot day. “Together,” he echoes, softer.

“But that’s logistics,” I add. “What I’m not doing is sprinting back into the thing that blew us up. I can’t… I won’t sign up for interrogation in my kitchen and secrets in your car. If you’re here, you’re here.”

His shoulders lower a fraction. “I want to be.”

“Then today, be here,” I say. “No cross-exam. No case talk in front of the kids. We try an actual day. Like normal people.”

He nods once, carefully, like he’s afraid to jostle the agreement. “One rule for me,” he says. “If I say, ‘be boring,’ you listen.”

I blink. “Is this a kink thing or?—”

“It’s a safety thing,” he says, mouth quirking despite himself. “Dino nuggets, not grand gestures. Errands, not adventures. Boredom saves people.”

“That is… extremely unsexy,” I say.

“Wait till you see my pancake game.”

I don’t want to smile. I do anyway.

He releases my arm but keeps his fingertips at my elbow like a question. “You shower,” he says. “I’ll start breakfast?

“I’ll start coffee,” I counter. “You start breakfast. Both like pancakes. Jaq likes them with chocolate chips; Jill prefers them without. And they need to be the chocolate chips shaped like hearts but tell them they’re stars, not hearts. They’re too cool for hearts.”

Noah’s eyes crease with a memory of a smaller kid who asked for extra hearts. “Got it. Hearts we don’t call hearts.”

We give each other a look that feels more like a handshake than a kiss. Terms agreed. Temporary. Precious.

I stand on my toes and press my mouth to his jaw, quick. “We’re okay for today,” I say.

“For today,” he echoes. “I’ll take what I can get.”