Page 73 of (My Accidental) Killer Summer

“You don’t count,” I say. “You’re like a freak of nature.”

“Okay, okay,” she says, her voice dropping to a reassuring whisper. “Let’s look at this logically. Doug is in your car. There’s no reason for Noah to go in your car, right?”

I nod rapidly.

“And, we haven’t started to dig the hole yet, so there’s nothing there for him to see.”

I nod some more.

“So, right now, everything is fine.”

“Right now, everything is fine,” I parrot.

“Exactly! You’ve got this.” She gives me a reassuring nod, but I can see the briefest hint of panic lurking behind her eyes. “Remember, a few minutes of distraction, then send him on his way.”

“Distraction, send him off. Got it,” I say.

“Cool. Back soon.”

thirty-six

. . .

Elle

I'm standingin the kitchen, the air thick with tension and the scent of something burnt lingering from dinner disasters of the past. Noah leans against the counter, arms crossed, that infuriatingly handsome face of his set in a serious expression. I can feel my heart racing, a mix of anger and something else I refuse to acknowledge.

I told him we needed to talk. At the time, it seemed the smarter solution to distracting him than sex. Now I’m not so sure. No. I’m sure. We do need to talk. I was right the first time. This is long overdue.

“Noah, you can’t just saunter in here like everything is normal and expect it all to go back to the way it was. It’s not fair. Especially not after all this time,” I tell him, my breath shallow.

Because, shit, I forgot how damn attractive he is. How could I forget that? The way his dark hair falls just so, the way his eyes seem to hold a thousand secrets, and that smile—God, that smile. And the way he makes me feel. It’s all so… so fucking unfair.

We were finally getting back to some semblance of normal, the kids and me. Now he’s back and one kid is suspended, theother is disappearing further into themself every minute that passes, and last night I killed a guy!

Though, I guess in his defense, most of that happened before we knew he was here.

“What do I need to do? I’ll do anything,” he pleads, his voice low and earnest.

“Nothing,” I say, my tone sharper than I intended. “There’s nothing you can do. You left us and nothing you do will change that.”

“I left you to save you.” He steps closer, boxing me against the kitchen counter. My heart races, but not just from anger. There’s a heat radiating off him that makes it hard to think straight.

“It doesn’t matter why you left, Noah.” I put my hands on his chest to push him away, but somehow, they start roaming the muscled playing field of his chest instead.

Get it together, Elle! You’re stronger than this. You’ve seen this man belch and chew with his mouth open. He has morning breath, and he farts. There’s probably skid marks in his boxers right now.

And he never,everthrows the freaking beer cap away like a normal person. Always just leaving them on the counter for the cleanup fairy to take care of. Plus, he spells commitment incorrectly, adding in that second “t”. That’s some irony right there, I tell you.

He’s nothing special.

He has no hold over you.

I nod in affirmation to my thoughts and back away, creating space between us. “You were still gone. It’s been over two years. A lot has changed in that time. Especially me.”

He looks at me, confusion flickering in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “I mean I’ve had to learn how to be a single parent. I’ve had to figure out how to keep everything together without you. I’ve had to be strong for our kids.”