Page 13
Story: Mrs. Brown and the Christmas Gift (Dazzling Debutantes #5)
He stepped back, his eyes widening with irrational fear at what she was to show him this time. She walked in, shutting the door and approaching him at the counter. With hazel eyes twinkling, she gazed up at him and asked, “Why are you working on Christmas Day, William?”
“I … that is … there is no one for me to spend it with.” As he said the words, he wondered if it was true in light of Caroline’s appearance once more in his dreams. Revelations from the earlier nightmare had proved that his philosophy about tamping down his emotions had been an error.
Was she to reveal another aspect of his life to question?
Caroline held out her hand. Once again, it was clean, delicate, and perfect. His own were covered in soot from drawing near the forge, and he was certain he bore smudges on his cheeks and forehead, but there was no point in balking. He held out his dirty paw to clasp it.
“Chatternwell is a good town filled with good people.”
“Yes, I do not argue that point, but ? —”
“Close your eyes.”
William obeyed, shutting his eyes with the knowledge that it was futile to fight whatever was to come. The quiet of the smithy disappeared into a melee of merriment, and he could hear Dr. Hadley. Opening his eyes, he found that he and Caroline now stood in a dining room observing a Christmas feast.
Dr. Hadley sat at the head of the table, with his sons and their wives. Mrs. Hadley sat to his left, instead of the customary distance at the foot of the table. She was dressed in a fine velvet gown, with a lacy fichu draping her décolletage and matching the mobcap adorning her fair hair.
Through the door, William could see a second table in the hall where children sat eating their Christmas pie.
The tables were loaded with plates, serving dishes, and gleaming silver. Wine had been poured, and a large Christmas goose had been carved. Hadley’s eldest son finished telling an anecdote, and both men and women burst into laughter.
Caroline squeezed his hand and nodded her head to Dr. Hadley and his wife. They had their heads bent together, and Caroline drew him forward so he could hear what they were saying.
“You invited the blacksmith, and he declined?”
“Yes, Martha. I practically chased him down the street to deliver the invitation.”
Martha was a cheerful, buxom woman who took part in charitable works about town.
Her blonde hair was now streaked with gray, but her blue eyes were still lively with humor and intelligence.
She had been a friend of William’s mother, who had died when he was a boy, and she had always made a point of seeking him out to ask after his well-being.
Shame at his lack of interest in the generous woman suddenly presented itself, to William’s dismay.
“I worry over little William.” William nearly snorted—he was twice the size of Mrs. Hadley.
“He has not been the same since he returned from the war. I fear his mother would be most disappointed in me for allowing such aloofness to develop in her sweet boy. It is high time he finds himself a wife. A friend. Anyone.”
“I quite agree. But what am I to do? Every holiday I invite him to join us, and every holiday he declines.”
Martha peered over her shoulder toward her grandchildren, who were eating the feast with gusto, smiles on their little faces as they chattered together.
“I just wish he could experience the joy of family. He was such a happy boy before he left to fight Boney. He never smiles anymore. It quite distresses me to think of the change in him. William is a good man.”
Dr. Hadley nodded. “That he is. He runs an honest business and has created work for our men and boys.”
William turned away. Why was Caroline doing this? He had finally rediscovered his living essence, but now he was to be confronted with the consequences of his self-imposed isolation. He tried to pull his hand from her clasp, but she would not let him. She broke off from her low humming.
“Close your eyes, William.”
He did so emphatically, not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation, nor to ponder his inadequacies.
Inadequacies such as being alone today while Dr. Hadley enjoyed a feast with loved ones.
The doctor was building a veritable legacy with the sheer number of family and the seasonal elation to be found in this home.
William thought they would return to the smithy, but the sound of festive merriment was replaced by a crackling fire blended with the distant sound of waves crashing on rocks.
His eyes flew open to discover Uncle Albert and Aunt Gertrude sitting at their dining room table with a small feast laid out.
A third place had been set, but there was no evidence of a guest.
Just as before, Aunt Gertrude appeared sad. She had appeared sad since learning of the death of Charles, her only child. William had not seen her cheery in some years.
“I had hoped that this year he would come. He is all we have left.”
Uncle Albert exhaled deeply. “Perhaps it was a mistake to leave Chatternwell.”
Aunt Gertrude nodded. “It was. William has not been the same since …” She struggled to a halt. “We should have stayed for his sake. Do you think … he knows we love him?”
“I do not know, dear. You told him he was invited, I presume?”
“Every holiday. I told him there is always a place laid for him, if he ever changes his mind and finds the time to join us. I … I just want him to be happy again.”
William was stricken. He did not mean to cause his last remaining family any more pain than he already had.
Once again, he felt his eyes moisten, admitting to himself that his conduct had been selfish.
He had not stopped to think that his beloved aunt might need him, that he had a responsibility.
His life had been spared, while Charles had sacrificed his.
It was William’s duty to be there for his relations, to bring them some peace and not to be a cause of concern.
It was hard to stomach that his uncle and aunt had retired to Cornwall three years earlier, and William had yet to visit them.
Turning to Caroline, he pulled her firmly around by the hand so she stood in front of him.
“Why are you doing this?” he demanded.
“No man can live alone, William. You must cherish the support of your friends. You must cherish the family you have left. You must accept that they are there for you, and you are there for them. You deserve to be loved.”
William shook his head. He had not meant to cause any pain.
This dream had left him with more questions than answers.
His ankle was throbbing when William woke up. To his surprise, the clock on the mantelpiece proclaimed it was only eleven o’clock. This was turning out to be a very strange evening.
Near him, Caroline gave a little snort in her sleep and then, slowly, her eyes opened.
Noticing he was awake, she sat up, throwing her blanket aside to swing her feet down to the floor.
“Are you in need of something? Tea? Privacy for …” Caroline gestured to where the chamberpot rested under the settee.
“No, just your company.”
Caroline used both hands to smooth her hair and then straighten her wrap. “Oh.”
“I was thinking about what you said. How Chatternwell is a good town, filled with good people.”
She nodded, reaching over to take up her neglected cup and sip on its cold contents. “It is.”
“It made me realize I have not appreciated what I have the way I should.”
The corner of Caroline’s mouth quirked up in a crooked smile. “You failed to count your blessings?”
“I did. It must be hard for you.”
She frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You said you have no family. I am afraid I have not appreciated that I do. I cannot imagine being entirely alone, with not one relation left.”
Caroline’s eyes flittered away. “It … is difficult,” she finally admitted in a thick voice.
“You have no one?”
William felt a pang when he noticed that her eyes now glittered and suspected that he had drawn tears to her eyes. What a bleak holiday they were sharing.
“I had some friends … but I made a horrible mistake and lost them. I have learned to be self-reliant.”
“And count your blessings?”
She chuckled, and William observed a flash of her usual optimism return. “And count my blessings.”
“What blessings do you count tonight, Caroline?”
She inhaled a deep breath and thought.
“I have my own shop. I live in a lovely town and work with wonderful women. I must be viewed favorably because the doctor entrusted you to my care. I was to spend Christmas alone, but instead I am spending it … with you.”
“I am a blessing?”
She cocked her head to the side, regarding him with a serious expression. “You are a good man who climbs his neighbor’s roof on Christmas Eve to undertake secret repairs at his own expense. You are not … not a blessing.”
It was William’s turn to chuckle. “Thank you.”
“You seem more cheerful than before?”
“Before?”
“Forgive me. You appeared to be a rather grim man. Tonight you seem … different.”
“I have had time to reflect this evening, and it has made me aware that I may need to change my ways. My mood. It might be time for me to embrace life more fully than I have done.”
“To build a better future?”
He bobbed his head. “The future is vast uncharted land, and it might be time to explore it with a mind to make some changes.”
“I find when the present is difficult, planning for the future can assist one through trying times,” agreed Caroline.
William turned his head and contemplated her across the table. She truly was an intelligent and remarkable woman. One had to wonder why such a fine young woman was all alone in the world. Caroline should be married to someone kind, and be increasing with child.
She deserved to have all that she desired.
Her business, a family to replace the one she had lost, and many wonderful friends.
Here she was, taking care of him on the eve of Christmas and risking her reputation in order to be kind.
He had no intention of ever growing as close to someone as he had been to Charles, whose absence was still a physical ache.
Otherwise, he would pursue this fine woman for himself.
William shook his head slightly. A woman like Caroline would mean falling in love, and he could not bear another loss, such as Charles. Nay, he would need to stay away from her once this holiday was over, but he appreciated that she had shown him the error of his ways.
He could build a better future, allow for closer connections than he had these last few years.
Appreciate the community he lived in and allow some emotions back into his life.
This evening had changed him for the better, and he looked forward to the days ahead, now that he had time to think about the revelations of the evening.
It was high time he took some time to visit his uncle and aunt at their seaside cottage.
As soon as his injury improved, he would do so.
Caroline shifted and sat on the table. She felt his leg with gentle fingers.
“I am going to apply a fresh poultice. Would you like anything?”
“Warm water and cloths? Perhaps you could collect my nightshirt?”
“You would like to wash up?”
He nodded. “I was working in this shirt all day.”
Caroline made a sound of assent, taking up things from the table and leaving for the kitchen. Soon she returned with the bowl of warm water and cloths, laying them out on the table. Once she left the room, he pulled his shirt off and took up one of the cloths to bathe himself.
The fresh, clean water was refreshing, and he felt considerably more comfortable when she came back in with his nightshirt, careful to avert her eyes from his naked torso as she handed it over.
Quickly, she cleared the table once more, and he could hear her tidying up in the kitchen while he pulled his nightshirt on.
Leaving his buckskins on, he straightened up the settee pillows to settle back into a reclining position.
This brief interlude of domestic bliss was a pleasant change in routine, especially given the time of the year.
He was fortunate the doctor had found such an excellent companion to nurse him back to health.
Spending the night with the wrong person would have been torturous, and Caroline’s presence had brought a much-needed reprieve from his bad dreams. For the first time in years, he had slept without dreaming of war and bloodshed, a minor miracle in itself.
All in all, this Christmas Eve had been something of a success despite the swollen, bruised appendage.
Caroline returned to apply a fresh poultice, quietly affixing it to his leg with a bandage. Then she cleared the room and once again could be heard moving around the kitchen.
William drifted off to sleep in the darkened room, his body fatigued as he gradually slipped back into another dream.