Page 14

CHAPTER 14

KNOX

I’ve never felt this nervous about a date before.

When I planned this evening for Lark, I was excited about it. A romantic date, just the two of us, the way I would have liked to take her out from the beginning. Not that I minded our nights in together, playing games and cooking dinner and watching those Hallmark movies that are actually beginning to grow on me.

I’d never admit it to anyone but Lark, but there’s something comforting in the predictability of them. Of seeing the same things in each one—hot chocolate is a must, a woman from the big city falling in love with a small-town guy, and the obligatory first kiss at the end. And as cheesy as it may sound, they give me hope for the part of the movie Lark loves the most.

The happy ending.

Although our story isn’t quite as simple, I hope it ends the same way .

After years of avoiding commitment, I found the person I can see a future with.

With Lark, I don’t just want weeks or months with her. I want years. Decades, even. I want to wake up next to her every morning and cuddle with her each night before bed. I want to plan vacations with her. I don’t want staying at her house to be a temporary thing, but something permanent.

And as I watched Finn and Devin the other night, both happily married, I let myself imagine being married to Lark. Proposing to her. Seeing her walk toward me all dressed in white, her hair like fire and gold as it catches the breeze, her gaze so filled with love as she agrees to be my wife.

Yes, love.

Even a year ago, I wouldn’t have thought it possible to feel this way about someone so soon. I would hear some of my friends talk about meeting a woman and just knowing she was the one. Like my old teammate Cillian, who left the Army so he could start a family with his new wife. During his wedding vows, he said he knew Raisa was the woman he’d marry within the first five minutes of meeting her.

It sounded nice, and everyone awwed appropriately, but I had a hard time believing it. In five minutes? Really? How could you possibly know you want to spend your life with a person in such a short time?

But I knew there was something special about Lark from the moment she jumped off that ladder, covered in wet leaves from trying to clean her gutter, and she just gave me that gorgeous, dragon-slaying smile. From that moment, I knew I had to see her again .

It may have taken me months to get my act together, to actually listen to what my heart was telling me, but now I get it.

Maybe that’s why I’m so nervous tonight—because I’ve never cared about a woman this much before. I’ve always made sure the women I’ve taken out had a nice time, but this feels different.

This time, I want it to be perfect. I want Lark to feel special. Appreciated.

After everything she’s been through over the last month, I want my songbird to have nothing but happy thoughts. I want to see her beautiful smile and know I put it there.

So I planned the perfect holiday date. I hope.

First, we’re going to the Laughing Goat for their holiday-themed tasting menu, and then we’re taking a snowmobile sleigh ride through Santa’s Wonderland, which is a Christmas light show set up in the woods just outside town. After that, we’ll head back to Lark’s place to watch the newest Hallmark movie while we sit by the tree, enjoying her favorite desserts from Decadent Delights.

I ran the proposed date past Winter after the team meeting yesterday, and she said she’s sure Lark will like it. But now that it’s almost time for the date, I’m having unexpected doubts.

What if Lark doesn’t like the food? What if she gets cold on the sleigh ride? Or what if she thinks the idea of being towed by a snowmobile instead of a horse is silly? What if?—

Shit. I don’t know. I just want this to go right.

Looking in the bathroom mirror again, I give myself a careful inspection. Hair is as neat as it’s going to be, given that it’s about two weeks past when I’d normally have it trimmed. But Lark said something last week—while running her fingers through my hair—about how she likes it a little longer. “It’s sexy,” she explained, “all tousled and wavy like this.”

So I didn’t cut it.

My beard is neatly groomed and I used this special oil to make it soft and shiny, since the last thing I want to do is give Lark a rash when I kiss her. The white button-down I’m wearing doesn’t have a wrinkle on it, and I give my dark gray suit jacket a final tug at the shoulders to make sure it hangs just right.

I glance at my phone to check the time, making sure I’m not running late. But I still have plenty of time to make the short drive to Lark’s and get across town to make our reservation. Giving my teeth a final check—looks good, nothing stuck between them—I turn and leave the bathroom.

As I’m putting on my coat, I send Lark a quick text.

Hey, just about to leave. I’ll be at your place in five. Is that okay?

She must have been right by her phone, because her response comes in almost immediately.

Of course! I’m ready! Can’t wait to see you. It feels like it’s been ages.

I nod at my phone as I quickly reply.

I know. I can’t wait to see you, too.

It’s only been ten hours since I saw her, but it feels like much longer. Since she moved back into her house, we’ve fallen into a routine—I come over right after work to have dinner with her, then I spend the night on the couch and we share a quick breakfast before heading to our jobs the next morning.

Do I need to stay over? No.

Do I want to? Yes. Not just because I feel better knowing she’s safe, or that I can be here to comfort her after a nightmare, but I just like being around Lark as much as possible. So I haven’t brought up going back to my place, and thankfully, she hasn’t, either.

Tonight I came home after work instead, so I could get ready and drive over to pick her up like an official date. But even the hour less I’ve seen her feels much too long.

I never would have imagined it. Me. Counting the hours, minutes until I see a woman.

By the time I arrive at Lark’s front door, my stomach is twisted in a knot. I haven’t felt this nervous since I was waiting to find out if I qualified for Green Beret training.

Wiping my damp palms on my pants, I take a steadying breath before ringing the doorbell.

There’s nothing to be nervous about. This is Lark. She won’t care if the date isn’t perfect.

But.

Should I have brought flowers? I didn’t think of it. Shit. I have a gift for later, but what good is that now?

Why am I so nervous?

Then the door opens, and all my worries fly out of my head.

It’s impossible to think of anything other than how beautiful Lark is.

She’s wearing a simple black dress that hugs her curves and dips just low enough to show a hint of cleavage. Her hair falls in long, shining waves in rich shades of crimson and copper and burgundy. More green than gold today, her eyes sparkle as she smiles at me, all lit up with happiness and anticipation.

“Knox.” Her smile gets even bigger. “You look so handsome.” Taking my hand, she pulls me inside. “Let me just get my coat?—”

“Wait.” As her eyes widen in question, I frame her face with my hands and press my lips to hers, not willing to wait another second to kiss her.

Lark’s eyes flutter shut as I trace the seam of her lips and dip inside, tasting peppermint and an indescribable sweetness that’s uniquely her. Her hands clutch my shoulders, hanging on while we kiss. A little purr of pleasure sounds in the back of her throat.

I lower one hand to the small of her back, nearly spanning the width of it. Pulling her against me, her breasts press temptingly against my chest, and I go hard, jutting against her belly.

We keep kissing, our tongues stroking and exploring and teasing. Need is building inside me, intense and insistent. I’m not just hard, but throbbing, my desire for her verging on pain.

Holding Lark like this is the most incredible feeling.

Kissing her. Hearing her tiny moans and whimpers of need. My skin on fire for her.

Instinct is telling me to scoop her into my arms and take her to the bedroom. To peel off this sexy little dress and find each and every freckle on her body, making sure to kiss each one of them. To dive between her legs and taste her there. And once she’s ready, to plunge deep inside her, finally coming together the way I’ve been fantasizing about for weeks.

But we have a date. A special date. And besides that, while Lark has hinted that she’s ready to have sex, I’m not making any assumptions. I want to know for sure.

So I reluctantly pull away while sternly ordering my body to calm down. She stares at me, cheeks flushed and eyes dark with desire, her rosy lips curving up as she says, “Well. I like that hello.”

“Sorry.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Let’s try this again.” I take a step back. “Songbird. You look absolutely stunning tonight. I missed you. And I couldn’t wait any longer to kiss you.”

“Oh.” Her cheeks go red. “I missed you. A lot. And I’ve been so excited about our date. Do I get to find out what we’re doing?”

“Now you do.” Reaching for her coat off the rack, I slide it onto her arms. Then I grab her purse—the cranberry one, for the holidays—and hand it to her. “First, we’re going to dinner. At the Laughing Goat.”

“I love the Laughing Goat. The sandwiches we’ve gotten from there are amazing.”

“Well, I hope this will be even better.” I take her arm and lead her outside, adding as I check to make sure the door is locked, “They have a special Christmas-themed tasting menu. All prepared by the chef. I’m not sure what makes the food Christmassy, but I guess we’ll find out.”

“That sounds great, Knox.” Lark flashes me a breath stealing smile. “I can’t wait.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t know snowmobile sleigh rides were a thing.”

As we head up the path to Lark’s house, she looks over at me, beaming. “You’d think I’d have known,” she continues, “having grown up in Vermont. But it was so cool, just whooshing across the snow with all the lights around us.”

“I didn’t know it was a thing, either,” I admit. “But when I brought my truck in to get inspected, Max mentioned it. I knew he set up Santa’s Wonderland on his property, but the snowmobile thing is new.”

“It’s so nice of him to do that.” She pauses. “But do you know what made him start? Putting up all the lights, I mean. Since he doesn’t have kids.”

At her front step, Lark reaches into her purse and pulls out her keys, handing them to me to unlock the door. It’s something we started when she first came home, having me go inside first, and I think it makes both of us feel better to keep doing it this way.

“It’s his family’s land,” I reply. “And his parents did the lights for years. I remember them from when I was a kid. When they passed, Max didn’t want to disappoint anyone. So he kept up the tradition.”

“But we were the only ones there. Was it just good luck?”

“No.” Pushing open the door, I tuck Lark against my side as we walk inside, scanning the living room quickly for any sign of a disturbance. Not that there should be, her new security system would have alerted us immediately, but I still like to be sure. “He doesn’t actually open it up until the week before Christmas. But when I asked him, he was happy to run us through early. ”

“Oh.” A soft expression moves across her face. “That’s so sweet. I should bring him cookies. Or candy. Or… I don’t know. Beer? Something to thank him.”

I kiss Lark on the cheek. “I’ll get him a case of beer. Don’t worry about it.”

“But you’ll tell him thanks from me?”

“Of course.”

While I hang up our coats, she goes over to the tree and flips on the lights, filling the room with a soft, golden glow. Turning, she says to me, “It’s so pretty, isn’t it? I know I said it before, but thank you for getting the tree. And for bringing it back here and setting it up all over again.”

Crossing the room, I wrap my arm around her waist, gazing at the tree for a moment before turning back to her. “It wasn’t a problem, songbird. It made you happy. So I was glad to do it.”

“Knox.” Her eyes meet mine, an indecipherable emotion in her gaze. “I don’t know how I got this lucky. When I think about it, if I hadn’t moved away from Montpelier, bought this cabin in the middle of nowhere… I might not have met you.”

My heart wrenches, pain stabbing through it.

What if?

What if Lark stayed in Montpelier? What if that asshole Vinnetti went after her there? Would she have been okay? Where would she have gone afterwards?

Shit.

What if I had never met her?

“No.” Firming my voice, I shove away the what-ifs. “I think people come into our lives for a reason. And I think some people are just supposed to meet. So I believe we would have met. If not here, in Montpelier. Or you would have moved here another time.”

A smile curves Lark’s lips. “I like that.” After a pause, she says, “So. Now that the date part of our night is over, what would you like to do?”

“Well, it’s not over, really. I bought a bunch of your favorite treats from Decadent Delights. So I thought we could enjoy them while we watch a movie. Maybe set up a little picnic by the fire. And I have a gift for you. I wanted to wait and give it to you when we got home.”

Lark brightens. “Oh, Knox. That sounds wonderful.” She takes my hands, holding them as she stretches up to kiss me. “And after… I was thinking maybe you could stay in my bedroom tonight? Instead of the couch?”

My heart jumps. I haven’t asked, and Lark hasn’t offered. She’s suggested sleeping in the guest room, but I’ve insisted that I prefer the couch. But what I really prefer is being closer to the front door in case someone tries to break in.

If I’m in Lark’s bed, though…

“I’d like that,” I reply slowly. “If you’re sure. It doesn’t have to be anything. I’m happy just sleeping next to you.”

“I’m sure.” She pauses. That tiny line forms between her eyes. “But… I want to do more than sleep next to you. If you want it, too.”

I should be thrilled to hear her words, but her expression tells me something different.

Leading her to the couch, I pull Lark down on my lap. “Is something wrong?”

She stares at me for a second before sighing heavily. “Not wrong, exactly. But. I want to be with you. Make lo—” Cheeks flushing, she amends, “I want to have sex with you. Very much. But there’s something I have to tell you first.”

A heavy weight drops into my belly. What could she have to tell me that would make her look so somber? “What is it?”

“Maybe I should have told you before. It’s just… I didn’t want to say something too soon and make things weird. And selfishly, I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Sweetheart.” Worry pulses inside me. “You can tell me anything.”

Her gaze dips to her lap. After a few silent seconds, it rises to meet mine. “You might not want to be with me anymore. And… I understand. I?—”

“Lark. Nothing could make me not want to be with you.”

“This might.” Another pause, and then her words spill out in a rush. “I can’t have kids, Knox. The accident in high school? I had internal bleeding. There was too much damage. So I can’t get pregnant. A surrogate might work, but it’s not the same. I know we haven’t talked about children, but…” Sorrow pulls at her features. “I thought you deserved to know. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

Oh. My songbird.

My heart aches, but it’s not for me or some hypothetical children I may or may not have. It’s for Lark, who’s been carrying this burden alone.

“Songbird.” I stroke her cheek. “I’m sorry you’ve been worrying about this. And I’m so damn sorry you had to go through that. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is. How hard it was. But I swear to you, it doesn’t make a difference to me. I care about you , Lark. As long as you’re with me, I’m happy.”

“But if you want kids?—”

“Then we’ll figure it out.”

Grimacing, she says, “I know this is a lot. Talking about kids when we haven’t even had sex yet. But?—”

“It’s not too early. We’re not just dating, Lark. This is serious. I want to be with you long term. So I’m glad you told me, because I want to know all about you. But I mean it. You make me happy. And if we get to the point where we both decide we want kids, we’ll work it out. Adopt. Foster. Get a surrogate. And if we don’t want kids, that’s okay, too.”

Lark stares at me, a sheen of moisture in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to ruin our date.”

“You didn’t.” I lower my lips to hers, kissing her softly. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

“Are you upset I waited to tell you?”

“No. Not at all.” Holding her gaze, I add, “It means a lot that you’re trusting me with this.”

“I do trust you. It’s not that I didn’t. I was just… scared of losing you. Because this kid thing, it’s a deal breaker for?—”

“Not me.” My voice is firm. Adamant. “I want to be with you. I’m not leaving unless you tell me to.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” The sad look in Lark’s eyes fades as hope replaces it. “I want to be with you, too.”

“I’m sorry you were so worried about this.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s—” Lark stops. “You know. I think we’ve had enough serious talk for now.” With a small smile, she asks, “Do you think we could move on to the rest of our date?”

“Of course.” I’d do literally anything to keep her smiling. “Do you want to watch the movie? The desserts are at my place since I didn’t want to ruin the surprise, but I can run over and get them?—”

“Or we could jump ahead to the sex part?”

That, I wasn’t expecting. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Confidence seeps back into her expression, and her chin lifts. “I absolutely do. As long as you still?—”

“Yes.” It’s louder than I intended. More gently, I repeat, “Yes, Lark. I do. I’ve been dreaming about being with you. As long as you’re ready.”

“I’m ready.” She gets off my lap and walks over to the tree, tossing a sexy smirk over her shoulder as she goes. “I’ve been dreaming about being with you, too.”

And then she turns so the tree is framed behind her, the lights dancing across her hair and skin. “Something else I’ve dreamed about?”

Part of me wants to leap up and rush over there, but another part is desperately curious to see what Lark will do next. “What else have you dreamed about?”

One dress strap slips over her shoulder.

Then the other.

She brushes her hair over her shoulders, liquid fire trailing down her back.

“I’ve dreamed about being with you in front of the tree. With all the lights and the fire going and—” Pausing, she pulls the dress down to her waist, revealing a very sexy black lace bra beneath it. “I thought it would be romantic. But also sexy. Like you’re my special gift. ”

Suddenly, my pants are too tight.

The temperature feels like it just jumped twenty degrees.

“Oh.” It’s hard to speak. Hard to form coherent thoughts. All my focus is on Lark’s gorgeous body, being unveiled bit by bit. Her fair skin, dusted with pale freckles everywhere. Her slim waist and flaring hips that?—

Shit.

There goes the dress.

With an enigmatic smile, Lark pulls her dress the rest of the way off and drops it to the ground.

And oh, my.

I knew Lark was gorgeous, but in reality, I had no idea. Not until now.

Wearing just scraps of filmy black lace, all of her body is on glorious display. All the freckles—oh, I could spend hours kissing all of them—and her toned legs and small curves and… is that a little tattoo on her hip?

“Is that a tattoo?”

Lark smiles, this time a little shyly. “Yes. Do you want to see it?”

Were my pants this small before? Did they somehow shrink by magic?

I’ve never been this hard. Never wanted a woman more. But for some reason, I’m glued to the couch, just staring at her.

“Um. Knox?” Pink touches her cheeks. “Are you going to come over here?”

Fuck. I’m screwing this up already.

Jumping up from the couch, I cross the room in three strides, stopping only inches away from her .

“Yes,” I reply, in what I think Lark would consider my growly voice.

Desire flares in her eyes and her nipples go taut. So, yes.

Resting one hand on her hip and the other at her nape, I dip my head to kiss her. It’s not a tender kiss this time, but a hungry one. One that shows Lark just how much I want her.

When we break apart, both of us gasping for breath, I hold her gaze as I say, “I want to see all of you. I’m going to kiss every inch of your body. Every freckle. I’m going to show you all the things I’ve been dreaming about. Is that okay with you?”

Her breath catches. Pink flushes her chest as she breathes, “ Yes . It’s more than okay.”