Page 61 of Most Likely to Deny Love (Yearbook #2)

MIA

I drove down the winding path toward Cassidy and Harle’s lakeside cabin, my knuckles white on the steering wheel.

The half hour drive out from Esperance should have soothed me, but instead, it had given me way too much thinking time.

Now I was in a worse state than when I’d texted Cassidy from home, asking if I could visit.

After a week of radio silence from Jack, broken only by that cryptic note with the flowers, I couldn’t pretend anymore.

Whatever was happening between us had long since crossed the line from convenient arrangement to something that kept me up at night, staring at my ceiling and wondering where he was, what he was doing, and when he was coming back.

I parked in front of the garage and sat for a moment.

It was all so peaceful here, with the pines swaying gently in the breeze, the lake’s surface rippling in the winter light.

Somehow, it made me feel even more shit.

I was a headcase, that was for sure. Hopefully I could get a bit of Cassidy’s practical advice to help me figure out what the fuck was going on with me.

Heaving a sigh, I dragged myself from the car and walked toward the front door. There was a note taped to the glass;

Mia—We’re out back by the fire pit. Come around through the side gate. -C

I followed the sandy path around the cabin, the scent of woodsmoke growing stronger as I approached the back deck.

When I rounded the corner, I spotted them immediately.

Cassidy and Harle were curled together on a double recliner, a thick blanket draped over them both.

Harle’s arm was wrapped around Cassidy’s shoulders, her head tucked perfectly against his chest as they gazed out at the lake.

Something sharp and hollow expanded in my chest at the sight. They looked so... right together. So at peace. The casual intimacy between them spoke of a relationship built on solid ground, not the shifting sands of a fake engagement and mind-blowing sex.

“Mia!” Cassidy’s face lit up when she saw me. She nudged Harle, who immediately disentangled himself and stood.

“Hey, ,” Harle said with a warm smile. “You look like you could use a coffee. Or something stronger?”

“Coffee would be amazing, thanks.” My voice sounded strained.

Harle nodded, pressing a kiss to Cassidy’s forehead before heading inside. The casual gesture made my heart ache. Like I said, I was a total head case.

Cassidy patted the space beside her on the oversized recliner. “Come on. I’ve got a blanket with your name on it.”

I sank down beside her and she immediately threw half the blanket over my legs, tucking it around me with motherly care.

“So,” she said softly, her eyes searching my face. “Are you okay?”

The gentle question, asked with such genuine concern, cracked something inside me. To my horror, tears sprang to my eyes, blurring my vision of the peaceful lake.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, my voice shaking on the admission. “I really don’t know anymore.”

Cassidy didn’t rush to fill the silence. She simply reached over and squeezed my hand, her grip warm and steady.

“What can I do?” she asked finally.

I swallowed hard, fighting to regain control of my emotions. “Can I ask you something personal? About you and Harle?”

“Of course.”

“What was it like?” I pulled the blanket tighter around me. “After you broke up with him. Before you got back together.”

Understanding dawned in her eyes. She turned to look out at the lake, her expression thoughtful.

“It was like missing a limb,” she said after a long moment. “Raw. Empty. I’d wake up reaching for him. I’d think of something funny and turn to tell him, only to remember he wasn’t there.” She shook her head. “It was overwhelming, really.”

“How did you handle it?”

“How do you think I handled it? You were there.”

“Uh, yeah, pretty badly.”

“Exactly.” She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I threw myself into work. Avoided all of you girls. Pretended I was fine.” Her fingers twisted the edge of the blanket. “But underneath all that, I was terrified.”

“Of what?”

“Of admitting how much I loved him. Because loving someone that much means giving them the power to destroy you.” She turned back to me, her eyes serious.

“I was letting fear rule me, Mia. Fear of being hurt. Fear of not being enough. Fear of what might happen if I really let myself feel everything I was feeling.”

I couldn’t speak, her words hitting too close to home.

“The funny thing is,” she continued, “once I finally stopped fighting it, once I just allowed myself to acknowledge how I felt about him, it was like a weight lifted. Even before we got back together, just being honest with myself made it easier to breathe.”

“And you weren’t afraid anymore?”

“Oh, I was still scared shitless,” she admitted with a wry smile. “But at least I was scared of something real, not the monsters I’d created in my head.”

The sliding door opened, and Harle appeared with two coffee mugs. He handed out the coffees, glancing between Cassidy and me with a look of understanding. “I think I’ll take the dogs for a walk along the shore. They could use the exercise.”

Cassidy tilted her face up for his kiss, which he delivered with such natural affection that I had to look away. “Don’t go too far. It’s getting colder.”

“Yes, darlin’,” he replied with mock seriousness, but the love in his eyes was unmistakable.

We watched as Harle whistled for the dogs and headed down the path toward the lake, two furry shapes bounding ahead of him. When he was out of earshot, Cassidy turned to me with a determined expression.

“I have a confession to make,” she said, setting her mug down.

“Okay.” Something in her tone made me nervous.

“When I got your message, I texted all the girls and put them on standby, in case we needed them.”

I frowned, not understanding. “What do you mean?”

“They’re five minutes away, in Creswell, waiting for the call up.” She pulled out her phone, her fingers hovering over the screen. “And I think we do need them for this, so I’m going to let them know to come over. And then we’re all going to have a talk.”

Oh. Fuck.

My stomach dropped as Cassidy fired off a text. I took a long sip of my coffee, wishing it was something stronger. The thought of facing all my friends, of having them witness whatever emotional breakdown was brewing inside me, made me want to sprint for my car.

“Don’t even think about it,” Cassidy warned, not looking up from her phone. “I can see you plotting your escape route.”

“I’m not plotting anything,” I lied.

“Sure you’re not.” She set her phone down. “They’ll be here in about five minutes.”

We sat in silence, watching the lake shimmer in the afternoon light. True to Cassidy’s word, I soon heard the crunch of tires on gravel, followed by car doors slamming and the murmur of familiar voices. My heart rate kicked up a notch.

They rounded the corner of the cabin like a small army: Emily leading the charge, followed by Poppy, Maya, Hannah, Samara, and Annie. Each carried something, bags of snacks, bottles of wine, and what looked suspiciously like a box of tissues.

“Hey, babe.” Emily dropped a kiss on the top of my head before taking a seat in one of the Adirondack chairs. The others arranged themselves around the fire pit, their expressions a mix of concern and determination that made my skin prickle with unease.

“So,” Maya began, settling into her chair with deliberate casualness, “Jack, huh?”

Cassidy interrupted, standing up . “One minute. I just need to grab something.” She disappeared into the house, leaving me to face five pairs of expectant eyes.

“This feels like an intervention,” I muttered, pulling the blanket higher.

“That’s because it is,” Hannah confirmed with a sympathetic smile.

Before I could respond, Cassidy returned, clutching what looked like an old, battered scrapbook. My stomach dropped. I recognized that book, with its glitter-encrusted cover and uneven edges.

“Is that...?” My voice trailed off as Cassidy resumed her seat beside me.

“Our very own high school yearbook.” She opened the book, flipping through pages filled with teenage handwriting and faded photos. “Remember this?”

Of course I remembered. Poppy and Hannah had spent weeks creating the yearbook for our friend group, a much more personal version of the usual thing. We’d all laughed at the time, but looking back, the damn thing had been eerily accurate.

Cassidy found the page she was looking for and turned the book toward me. There I was, smiling awkwardly at the camera, braces glinting and eyes squinting against the sun. Beneath the photo, in Poppy’s looping handwriting:

Mia Harris: Most Likely to Deny Love

“That’s not fair,” I protested weakly. “We were kids.”

“And yet,” Emily said from across the circle, “here we are, over a decade later, watching you do exactly that.”

“I’m not denying anything,” I insisted, but the words were hollow.

“Sweetie,” Poppy leaned forward, her pink hair falling across her forehead, “you’ve been in love with Jack since about five minutes after you met him.”

“That’s not?—”

“It is true,” Samara cut in. “We’ve all seen the way you light up whenever you talk about him.”

Annie, who had been quiet until now, reached over to squeeze my hand. “And you’ve been absolutely miserable since he left.”

I looked around the circle at my friends, these women who had known me longer than I’d known myself in some ways. Their faces were open, concerned, loving. There was no judgment, just gentle insistence on a truth I’d been running from for months.

“You’re scared,” Maya said softly. “We get that. But denying how you feel isn’t protecting you, Mia. It’s just making you miserable.”

Tears pricked at my eyes again, and this time I didn’t fight them. “What if it’s not real?” The question came out as a whisper. “What if it’s just the situation? The pretending? The sex?”

“Is that what you really think?” Cassidy asked.

I stared down at my younger self in the scrapbook, at those innocent eyes that had no idea what was coming. “I don’t know what to think anymore. I just know that when he’s gone, it feels like...” I trailed off, remembering Cassidy’s words.

“Like missing a limb?” she supplied gently.

I nodded, a tear slipping down my cheek.

“Honey,” Hannah said, “that’s not just sex. That’s not just pretending.”

“That’s love,” Poppy finished simply.

The word was terrifying and wonderful all at once. Love. Was that what this hollow ache in my chest was? This constant awareness of Jack’s absence? This desperate need to see his face, hear his voice, feel his touch?

“Oh god,” I breathed, the realization washing over me like a wave. “I’m in love with him.”

Emily let out a whoop that startled a nearby bird into flight. “Finally! She admits it!”

The others laughed, the tension breaking as I covered my face with my hands. “I’m so fucked.”

“Not yet,” Annie quipped, “but hopefully soon.”

I peeked through my fingers to find all of them smiling at me like proud parents whose child had just taken their first steps.

“So what do I do now?” I asked, feeling simultaneously lighter and more terrified than I had in weeks.

“You tell him,” Maya said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Cassidy confirmed. “Because, Mia, the way that man looks at you? I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one who’s fallen.”