Page 56 of Most Likely to Deny Love (Yearbook #2)

“He’s always been good with children,” Nan remarked, following my gaze. “They don’t expect anything from him except to be present.”

I leaned back in the chair, grateful for the warmth radiating from a nearby outdoor heater. “He’s full of surprises.”

Nan chuckled, the sound rich and knowing. “That he is. Always was, even as a boy.” She adjusted her blanket, tucking it more securely around her legs. “Did he take you skating?”

“Sort of. I can’t skate, so he... carried me.”

“Did he now?” Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “How resourceful of him.”

I felt heat rise to my cheeks. “Yeah, he’s very, uh, capable.” Capable? What the fuck? Why did that sound sexual, when I said it like that.

Luckily, I was saved from more awkwardness by the arrival of breakfast. Martha returned with a tray overloaded with food.

Fluffy eggs, crispy bacon, toast, and preserves in crystal dishes.

She poured dark coffee into china cups, placed the jug carefully on the table and straightened.

“Will there be anything else, Mrs. Sullivan?”

Nan gave her a warm smile, the kind that crinkled the corners of her eyes. “No, thank you. That will be all for now. You may go.”

Once Martha had gone and I’d had a few bites of toast and Nan some coffee, she started the conversation I knew she’d planned since the moment she invited me to sit down.

“You know, when he told me he was engaged, I nearly fell out of my chair. Not because I was surprised he’d found someone worthy of him, mind you, but because he’d actually allowed himself to have something he wanted.”

The casual way she said it, as if Jack’s feelings for me were real and not part of our arrangement, made my heart stutter. I remembered what Jack had said about fooling his family: ‘ I don’t care what anyone else thinks... It’s Nan you have to convince.’

“He’s very private about his feelings,” I said carefully, watching her face.

“Oh, he’s locked up tighter than Fort Knox, that boy.” Nan shook her head. “Has been since he was little. But I can read him like a book. Always could.”

She turned her sharp blue eyes on me, and I had the distinct feeling she saw straight through me. “You’re good for him, Mia. I haven’t seen him like this in years, maybe ever. Certainly not in this house.”

“His family is...” I hesitated, not wanting to overstep.

“Terrible?” Nan supplied helpfully. “Manipulative? Cold as this winter air? You can say it, dear. I’ve been saying it for decades.”

A surprised laugh escaped me. “I was going to say ‘complicated,’ but your words work too.”

“No need to be diplomatic on my account.” She patted my hand.

“I’ve had a front-row seat to the Sullivan family drama for longer than I care to admit.

Victoria with her social climbing, Angus with his rigid expectations, and Jared.

..” She made a dismissive sound. “That boy never had to work for anything in his life, and it shows.”

I watched Jack lift Cindy so she could place a hat on her snow girl, his smile easy and genuine. “It’s hard for him here.”

“Yes.” Her voice softened, then darkened.

“Angus was... harsh with him. He believed in discipline. The old fashioned kind, I mean. You know, spare the rod, spoil the child, that sort of bullshit. My husband was the same.” The way she said it, loaded with pain and regret, made my stomach clench.

“Too harsh for any child, but especially for a sweet boy like Jack.”

Something cold settled in my chest as understanding dawned. “Nan...”

“I should have stepped in sooner.” Her fingers tightened around her coffee cup, knuckles white with the force of old pain.

“But in those days, my husband controlled everything. The money, the family decisions. I was just the grandmother, expected to stay quiet and let the men handle things.” Her voice broke slightly.

“I watched my own son break my grandson’s spirit, piece by piece, and I felt powerless to stop it. ”

Jesus fucking Christ. I swallowed the lump in my throat, barely managing to say, “You can’t blame yourself for that.”

“Can’t I?” Her eyes, so like Jack’s in their intensity, met mine. “I’m his grandmother. I was supposed to protect him.”

“From his own father? When you had no power to intervene? That’s an impossible position.”

“It was.” She sighed, her breath forming a small cloud in the cold air.

“But everything changed when my husband passed. Suddenly I had control of the family money, the real power. And I made damn sure Jack always had a safe place with me after that. Made sure he knew someone loved him exactly as he was.” She paused, seeming to weigh her words carefully.

“Which is why I’m so very glad he’s found you. ”

I squirmed a little, because what the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

Nan studied me for a long moment, her expression soft but knowing. “You know, dear, I’ve been watching Jack for nearly forty years, and I’ve never seen him the way he is with you.”

My pulse quickened. “What do you mean?”

“He’s just… different, somehow. I’m not sure I can explain it, but I do know it makes me happy.

” She sat for a moment, watching the kids playing in the snow.

Then she continued and what she said next damn near broke my heart.

“I know he only comes home for me. And how much it hurts him to be here. There have been times when I wished I could just kick the bucket, so he had no more ties here. No reason to come back, ever. But then he’d have no one at all and that knowledge cuts deep.

Now, with you here, everything has changed. ”

“Nan, I?—”

“Let me finish.” She smiled, but her eyes were somber.

“I’m old, Mia. Older than I have any right to be, and lately.

..” She paused, her voice growing quieter.

“Well, let’s just say the doctors are running more tests than I’d like.

Don’t know what they’ll find yet, but at my age, you start preparing for possibilities. ”

My heart clenched. “Nan...”

“Now don’t you start fussing.” She waved a dismissive hand.

“What I’m trying to say is, I can see what’s between you two.

” She glanced toward Jack, who now looked like he was having a very serious talk with Cindy and her brother about how to lay out the snow village.

“That boy looks at you like you’re a miracle he can’t quite believe is real. ”

My instant reaction was to deny, but I checked it in time. This was exactly what Jack wanted Nan to believe.

“Knowing that, knowing he has someone who sees him the way you do...” Her voice grew thick with emotion. “Well, that gives an old woman a lot of peace.”

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t find words to process what she was telling me. My thoughts were a chaotic whirlwind.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Nan continued.

“Just promise me you’ll be patient with him.

Jack has walls built so high and thick, sometimes I wonder if even he remembers what’s behind them anymore.

But you...” She smiled, patting my hand.

“You’ve already found a way through them.

And if something does happen to me, he’ll need that. He’ll need you.”

Before I could respond, a snowball flew past us, barely missing the railing.

“Sorry, Nan!” called one of the boys, looking genuinely contrite.

“Your aim needs work, young man!” she called back, then turned to me with a wink. “Now, how about we go inside and sit by the fire? These old bones need warming, and I want to hear all about your job. Jack tells me you’re quite the rising star.”

As I helped her up, my eyes found Jack across the yard. Somehow, as if he could feel my gaze, he looked up. Our eyes met, and he smiled, a private smile meant just for me.