Page 21 of More Than A Fixer-Upper (Hope Runs Deep #13)
Rosalie
The boys are still asleep at eleven. I think the laughter finally died down around four, after I threatened to toss their clothes in the deep freezer if they didn’t shut up. Their laughter after I closed the door was music to my ears.
Winnie’s been rearranging her closet and dressers all morning. I stand outside my mom’s room, hand on the knob, heart thudding. I take a deep breath and turn it with shaking fingers.
The scent of lemon cleaner hits me first. Then the pink everywhere.
I guess I know her favorite color now. The walls are covered in posters with encouraging quotes.
Trophies line every surface bowling, tennis, basketball.
The mirror on the dresser is taped with photos.
She’s smiling in most of them, surrounded by friends.
Maxine’s in a lot. Maybe she can tell me who the others are. Maybe I could talk to them.
“You look a lot like your mom,” Winnie says from the doorway. Her voice is quiet. “I look like the sperm donor. Drew’s all you. I hate it.”
“I don’t see Randall when I look at you.” She blinks, surprised. I smile. “I see your great grandmother: his grandmother. That’s who you’re named after. Winifred made sure we had a home when you were born. She loved you and Drew before you ever took your first breath.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been difficult,” she says, eyes down. “I didn’t think this move would be good. I had more friends than Drew. But I see him coming alive here. You’re smiling more. You’re not so weighed down. And I have friends who don’t care that my dad and his family abandoned me.”
I pull her into my arms. I didn’t know she was carrying so much hurt. I let her cry against my shoulder.
“Do you still want this room?” I ask softly into her hair. “I’d love for you to have it.”
“No. I like my room. I’ve got so many ideas, and Hailey’s excited to help. What do you want to do with this one?”
“I’m not sure yet. I think we need to understand who LeeAnn was before we decide. What do you think?”
“I agree,” she says, then grins. “But maybe this could be Aunt Katie’s room.”
I smile. Katie called last night she wants to visit for Christmas. “She’s going to take one look at this place and move in.”
“I think so too. What’s for lunch?”
“Burgers!” the boys shout as they thunder down the stairs.
We laugh. I send them to the diner with some cash. School starts next week, so I’m letting them roam and settle in. I want to take them shopping this weekend. Chase and Seth start on the bed and breakfast in two weeks. It’s about to get busy.
I sit on my mom’s bed and open the nightstand. There’s a book inside. I flip it open.
Mom, if you're reading this, stay out. These are my private thoughts. Let me have them. Lee
I read through the journal until I reach the final page.
Dear Future Lee, I’ve been sick for a few days.
Maxine went to Casper and bought pregnancy tests.
They’re positive. Dad’s going to kill me.
E is going to leave me. My plans aren’t mine anymore.
E didn’t want kids, but I want this baby.
I think I’m going to leave for the big city.
There are more opportunities there. Once I have this baby and prove to my parents I can be responsible, I’ll come back. I’ll show everyone I’m not the screwup.
That was her last entry. I was born seven months later. I wonder who E is. Will Maxine know? Do I want to know?
I grab my phone and call Chase.
“You okay?” he answers after three rings, voice thick with concern.
“I’m sitting in my mom’s room. She kept a journal during her senior year. My dad’s name starts with E. Maxine bought her the pregnancy tests. I wonder if she’d tell me who he is. I don’t know if I want to know.”
“Maxine might tell you,” Chase says gently. “But her loyalty’s with LeeAnn. She might say yes or nothing at all. What are you doing tonight?”
“Teenagers,” I sigh. “The boys are leaving, and the girls are coming. I’m heading to the store for junk food they wiped me out. They’re actually at Maxine’s getting lunch.”
“Want some company?”
“If it’s you, then yes.”
He laughs. “I’ll shower and head over. Should I pack a bag?”
I leave the room, carrying more journals to mine. I want to read the last three months of her time in Wyoming. I wonder if my grandmother ever read these.
Downstairs, my phone dings. It’s our family group chat.
DREW: Luke and Micah want to spend the night again. Is that okay?
WINNIE: My friends are staying. DREW: Everyone’s friends with each other.
WINNIE: It’s not fair.
ME: Hello, I’m Mom. Can I answer before you two start a war? Aren’t you together right now?
WINNIE: Yes.
ME: Everyone’s welcome. We’re having pizza. I’m heading to the store send me your snack wish lists.
Not a single empty chair at the dining table. I smile as I walk into the kitchen. Chase is opening a pizza box. I bought seven large ones. The boys will probably inhale four on their own.
Micah and Luke’s parents stopped by to meet me and make sure it was okay for them to stay another night. Winnie’s friends arrived for their slumber party and claimed the downstairs as a no boys zone.
Chase pulls me into his arms and kisses me.
“Is it always like this with kids?” he asks. “Lacy and Ward always went to their friends’ houses. They were embarrassed by our dad and where we lived.”
He tells me about Lacy showing up at the job site. She stopped by a few times, but he wouldn’t budge. I don’t blame him. He’s finally putting himself first. That’s not selfish it’s necessary.
Does he want to do this with me?