Page 20 of More Than A Fixer-Upper (Hope Runs Deep #13)

Chase

I swallow hard as we sit down. Rosalie leans against the arm of the couch so we’re facing each other. She sits cross-legged, but I pull her legs out and rest her feet on my thighs. I remove her flipflops and start giving her a foot massage. I need to be doing something while I talk.

“Chase, you don’t owe me your past. Whatever shadows it casts, let them stay behind you.” Rosalie says, trying to reassure me.

“I never want to be a father. Hailey is the closest thing to a child I’ll ever have.

” I sigh and press harder, and the moan that escapes her lips makes my dick twitch behind my zipper.

“My mom was a prostitute. Everyone knew. My dad’s the town drunk still picking fights at nearly seventy.

One of her clients was a trucker who gave her a glimpse of escape.

She took it. I haven’t seen her since. I have two younger siblings, Lacy and Ward.

My dad was too drunk to take care of us.

I dropped out of school to work fulltime and raise them.

I didn’t want them to end up in the system.

Ward’s a professional baseball player now, and Lacy’s a lawyer in New York City. ”

“You sacrificed your childhood for them, and now you’re living your life for you and only you. I understand that,” Rosalie says.

“They left and never looked back. I made sure they never needed anything. Worked nonstop before school, after school, after bedtime. I gave them everything I didn’t have.”

“I’m sorry, Chase. But you can’t keep dragging that weight behind you.

If you’re stuck in the past, how do you ever step into the present?

” I watch her as something softens inside me.

“I’ve learned a lot through my hardships.

I could live in the blame game, but what good would that do?

I’ve asked myself the same questions. If LeeAnn hadn’t given me up, would I have died in that crash with her?

Would I have missed out on foster care, scholarships, Randall?

I used to live in what ifs. But they don’t change the now.

” I’ve always played the what if game growing up, but I’ve never looked at it like that.

“You think the kids need a father figure?” I ask her.

“They want one. But they don’t need one. Randall gave up his rights they’ve never known what having a dad feels like.” She exhales slowly.

“What do you want?” Rosalie talks a lot about what the kids want but never about her wants and desires.

“What I want is a partner. Someone who sees me. Most days I feel like I’m holding the world together with duct tape and coffee. I’m tired. But I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything even when they make me want to scream into a pillow.”

We both laugh together, the tension softening. “They’re good kids. Even when they’re chaos.” I squeeze her foot one more time. “I’d better get going. I need to get home.” We stand, and she slides her feet back into her flipflops.

“Thank you for a great day.” Rosalie kisses my cheek, but I wrap my arm around her waist, pull her into me, and kiss her.

“Damn, Chase. You know how to kiss.”

“I’m going to miss having this body next to me tonight,” I whisper against her lips.

“You’re welcome in my bed anytime,” she smiles.

We walk out together. She heads into her place, and I climb into my truck. As I drive home, windows down, classic rock pouring through the speakers, my mind roars with emotion. I pull into my driveway, and Seth’s waiting for me with a sixpack beside him.

“Hey, man,” I say as I shut the truck door. “Waiting long?”

He holds up two empty beer bottles. “Sorry. I was with Rosalie and the kids.”

“I heard,” Seth smiles, and I roll my eyes.

“Ellen’s a gossip,” I mutter as I unlock the door. Hailey’s sitting on my couch. “So it wasn’t Ellen who squealed.”

I glare at Hailey, who just laughs.

“I couldn’t keep it to myself. Uncle Seth thinks you look great in a towel.”

“You took my picture? I was paying attention I didn’t even see you move.” I flop onto my recliner and pull off my steel toe boots. “Delete it,” I demand, rubbing my hands over my face. I feel suddenly tired.

“What happened?” Seth asks, handing me a beer.

I explain the talk with Lacy and then the one with Rosalie.

“She has a good perspective on things. What do you think?”

“I think I want to explore a relationship with her. I don’t want to live in the past. I just don’t know how not to.”

I stare at Seth, then Hailey.

Hailey leans forward, smiling. “I think you’re doing it.

You’re opening yourself up to new things.

You were whistling as you came down the stairs today.

I’ve been the only kid in your orbit for years, but you didn’t blink twice at having Drew help with the assessment.

It’s usually me. Winnie told me you offered to help her rearrange her bedroom and even volunteered Uncle Seth for furniture building. ”

“Is nothing secret in this town?” I grunt.

The doorbell rings, and I stiffen. Who the hell is here?

Hailey stands and stalks to the door. She swings it open and crosses her arms. “Who are you?”

“Does Chase Keaton live here?” Seth’s eyes widen like a cartoon character, which makes me snicker.

“Who are you?” Hailey repeats, slower this time, making me laugh.

“I’m Lacy Keaton, his sister,” Lacy answers with the same attitude.

Hailey looks her up and down. “You don’t look like you have a board stuck up your ass.”

I stand behind Hailey and cover her mouth with my hand. Lacy scoffs.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

She stares at Hailey, and I move her aside to step into the doorway. A fancy rental car sits in my driveway.

“Staying in Casper?” I ask, since there’s only a dingy motel until I get the bed and breakfast up and running.

She nods. “Dad wouldn’t stop calling me, so my boss gave me time off to deal with the family drama. Can I come in to discuss things?”

I block the doorway as she tries to enter.

“I told you I’m out. It’s on you and Ward now.

He still lives in the same house we grew up in.

I’ve spent more than twenty years sacrificing everything for everyone, and I’m living in my selfish period.

That means I’m dating and putting myself first. Ruth’s doing the same. Uncle Randy’s on his own too.”

“I don’t understand why now. Is this about getting your dick wet?” Lacy snaps.

“If you think that’s what this is about, then you don’t know anything!” Hailey yells from the living room. “Get a clue.”

“Your daughter is rude,” Lacy says.

“Not my daughter but she’s right. Go see Dad. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.” I close the door in her face.

I pull out my phone.

ME: Lacy is in town.

RUTH: Is hell freezing over?

ME: I think so.

Hailey and Seth stay to watch a movie with me. No one talks about Lacy. My phone buzzes on the end table.

DREW: Is it cool to take tomorrow off?

ME: Sure. Enjoy the time with your friends.

DREW: Thanks.

I send another text.

ME: How are you doing?

ROSALIE: I’m okay. The boys are in the room playing a game. The trash talking is hilarious. Winnie’s lying next to me, showing different ideas for her bedroom. After she asked you to help her, she came to me about redoing her room. I couldn’t say no.

ME: I can help with anything she needs.

ROSALIE: I’m going to try going into my mom’s room tomorrow. I want to get to know her. I know Winnie wants that room.

ME: I didn’t know there was a mom’s room.

ROSALIE: My grandmother kept it the same after my mom left Durden Park.

ME: I’m finishing up a project tomorrow. I’ll be about twenty minutes away. If you need me, I’ll be there.

ROSALIE: Good night.

Seth and Hailey leave after the movie ends. I climb the stairs, lock up, strip down to my boxers, and crash. My last thought before sleep: I’m taking Rosalie on a date.

How the hell do I date at my age when I’ve never been on one before?