Page 6 of Monochrome (ORCA #4)

CHAPTER

SIX

ETHAN

At some point, that old adage about best-laid plans often going awry had become the story of my life.

Of course the babysitter I’d booked and checked in with to confirm she was still available canceled an hour before I was supposed to leave to meet Julius.

Of-fucking-course she did.

Which was the cherry on top of the shit sundae of a day I’d already had.

The call I’d been dreading had finally come.

Ellie had had enough of the havoc wreaked by the twins and had very politely but firmly asked me to find a different child care option for them.

How bad did things have to be for her to kick the CEO’s kids out?

Bad. Really, really bad.

And I knew they were.

I swear, before Tessa died, the twins were angels.

Okay, that might have been stretching things a little, but they were certainly not driving nannies away and getting kicked out of corporate daycare.

Whatever emotions were swirling through their little bodies kept manifesting in mischief and mayhem.

The caseworker that helped facilitate my guardianship of the twins suggested getting them into therapy, but they’d only been three at the time, and for a while, things were okay—not great but a shit ton better than they were now.

I needed to make getting them into therapy a priority, but I didn’t have the first clue where to start.

But for now, I needed to call Julius and cancel our date.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Hey, Ethan. I was just walking out the door. Are you there already?”

“Uh, no. I’m so sorry to do this at the last minute, but the babysitter canceled.”

“That’s okay.” He went quiet for a second before asking, “Do the twins like pizza?”

“Definitely. Why?”

“Why don’t I pick up pizza and come to you?”

A scream echoed down the hall from the spare room I’d turned into the twins’ playroom in an effort to keep their toys contained to one space.

It wasn’t working, but I still had hope it might one day.

“Are you sure? We can just reschedule.”

“I’m sure.” Another beat of silence.

“We need to talk. I found something I’d like to show you. It’s probably better if we have this discussion away from the office.”

Julius’s voice carried a bit of an edge, and I hated hearing it.

“Oh. Okay. Yeah. Good idea.”

“Text me your address and what the twins will eat on their pizza, and I’ll see you soon.”

He ended the call without a goodbye, and I opened a new message to send him the requested information.

The excitement that had been fizzing in my veins all day had disappeared, replaced by a looming sense of dread.

What had Julius found and why did he think it was better if we spoke about it away from the office?

Worst-case scenarios played on a loop in my head as I ditched the fresh suit I’d put on in favor of an old Harvard sweatshirt and my favorite jeans.

I then went to the playroom to see what the twins were up to, but Duplo towers and missing Barbie shoes could barely hold my attention, and I damn near jumped out of my skin when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” Lily yelled, skidding out of the playroom on her socked feet, Jude hot on her heels.

They were grappling with the doorknob and each other when I arrived in the front hall a few seconds later, and I nudged them out of the way with my hip.

“Scooch over, you two. Let me unlock the door.”

“I want to open it, Unca E!” Jude smooshed in as close to me as he could, reaching for the handle.

“No, me! I was here first!” Lily’s screech echoed around the room.

“Both of you, back it up. I’m answering the door.”

They both pouted at me and crossed their little arms, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing because they looked so damn cute.

I swung the door open and gestured for Julius to come inside.

He’d opted for casual too, a pair of well-worn light-wash jeans that molded to his thick thighs and a dark gray sweater stretched across his chest. This was the first time I’d seen him in something other than a suit, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

He was hot as hell in his designer-label suits, but like this, he was irresistible, and if it weren’t for the twins squabbling behind me, I would have tossed the pizza boxes in his arms to the ground and thrown myself into them instead.

It had been too damn long since I’d had the privilege—or the time—to get naked with anyone, and my body was ready to feel every inch of Julius’s skin pressed against mine.

My eyes traveled up the length of him, from the black and white Converse low-tops on his feet to his face, lingering for a second on the patch of black skin at his neck that indicated he was an orca shifter.

For reasons I couldn’t explain, my mouth watered with the sudden desire to trace that skin with my tongue, to bite into it and mark Julius as mine.

The twins pushed around my legs to see who had come to visit, effectively pulling my thoughts away from the filthy things I’d like to do with Julius and back to the foyer, where he was still standing on the doorstep.

“Julius!” Lily beamed up at him, and his answering smile made my heart melt.

“Pizza!” Jude exclaimed.

“Hi, guys. Have you had a good day?”

“Miss Ellie said we can’t come back to school.” Lily’s tone was matter-of-fact and completely unbothered.

Julius’s eyes swung up to meet mine.

“Really?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Shi—shoot. What are you going to do?”

“Currently unknown.”

“I might have a lead for you. Let me set these down, and I’ll text my brother.”

“Seriously? That would be amazing.”

Julius turned his beautiful, wide smile on me, and my knees went a little weak.

“No guarantees.”

I shook my head.

“No, of course not, but I’ll take anything I can get.”

He lifted the pizza boxes, and I corralled the twins away from the door, telling them to wash their hands so they could eat pizza.

They ran off down the hall to the bathroom that had become theirs, and I led Julius into the kitchen.

Once he’d safely deposited the boxes on the counter, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text.

“Hopefully, Quin will get back to me tonight. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Not that beggars can be choosers, but who is it? One of your brothers?”

“No. My brother’s mate has a sister who is taking a break from art school. She plans to go back in the spring, but she’s looking for a job until then. She’s tough. Athina and Dimitri didn’t have an easy life. They lost their parents when they were young, and they only had each other to rely on. I think she’d be good for the twins.”

I swallowed around the small lump in my throat and nodded.

“If she’s interested, we’d love to meet her.”

Jude and Lily barreled back into the room, heading straight for the stools they loved to sit in at the center island.

“Whoa. Plates first.”

They climbed down and rushed to the cabinet next to the sink, where I’d shelved all their childproof dishes and cups.

As I expected, Lily picked a purple plate and cup with princess dinosaurs on it, while Jude grabbed a teal plate and the other princess dinosaur cup.

I mentally counted down from five, fully expecting what came next.

“Juuuuuuuuude! That’s my cup!”

“Lily, remember when we talked about sharing? You and Jude can use any cup or plate you want. They belong to both of you.”

“Fine.” She dropped the cup back into the cabinet and pulled out the teal cup that matched the plate Jude had picked, then, nose in the air, she marched herself to the island and climbed up on the stool, giving Jude a smug glare.

Julius laughed, but when I gave him a glare of my own, he covered the laugh with a cough and murmured an apology.

When my niece and nephew were both seated at the counter, I opened the pizza boxes.

“Okay, guys. Looks like we have cheese, or pepperoni and mushroom. Which would you like?”

They made identical faces of disgust at my mention of mushrooms and yelled “Cheese!” in unison.

I slid a slice onto each of their plates, and they dug in, Jude holding his slice upside down.

Grabbing adult plates from one of the upper cabinets, I slid them across the island to Julius, who loaded both with two slices of pepperoni and mushroom while I looked for drink options in the fridge.

“I have water, milk, and apple juice.”

“Water is great for me.”

I filled two pint glasses and brought the pitcher to the counter to fill the twins’ cups too.

“Two hands, please, Lily.” She sucked the water off her top lip as she gripped the cup in both hands.

Jude had pizza sauce from ear to ear, and I passed him a napkin.

“Don’t forget to wipe your mouth.” He picked up the napkin and smeared the sauce around even more before balling up the napkin and returning to his pizza.

Julius was watching me with a strange expression on his face.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

“No. Not at all.” He cleared his throat and leaned back against the counter, balancing his plate in one hand while he bit into a slice of pizza.

For a minute, we ate in relative silence, the only noise Lily’s happy food humming as she wiggled back and forth in her chair.

I knew Julius had something serious he wanted to discuss, but for now, I was more than content to enjoy the moment.

There was something calming about having Julius in my space, and either the twins were starving or they sensed it too, because there wasn’t a single fight until they’d both finished two pieces of pizza—except for the crusts—and hopped down from their chairs.

I wrangled them into washing their faces and hands before they took off for the playroom again.

And then Julius and I were alone together, the threat of our conversation looming.

“Should we talk now?” I didn’t want to, but the suspense was kind of killing me.

He shook his head. “When do the twins go to bed?”

I glanced at the clock on the microwave.

“In about an hour and a half.”

“This will keep until then.” A storm cloud rolled over Julius’s expression, but he blinked it away, even as my stomach sank.

“What do you normally do with the twins after dinner?”

“Sometimes we watch a movie. Sometimes we read. Sometimes they play until it’s time to get ready for bed.”

“I could be down for a movie.”

“I don’t think you’ll like any of their selections.”

“Try me.”

“Just remember you asked for this.”

Julius nodded solemnly.

“Noted.”

“Lily. Jude. Do you guys want to watch a movie?”

“ Cars !” Jude yelled at the same time Lily yelled, “ Cinderella !” They both came tearing out of the playroom, jumping onto the couch in an effort to reach the remote.

But the joke was on them because I’d stuck it up on the mantle the night before, where they couldn’t reach it.

“How about we let Julius pick?”

The twins settled down, both leaning over the back of the couch and trying to convince Julius to pick their movie by giving him the most adorable baby panda eyes.

The twins couldn’t shift yet, but they’d mastered the sad panda look anyway.

Julius pretended to consider the options very seriously before shaking his head.

“This is a tough choice since I don’t know what either movie is about. Tell me about Cars , Jude.”

My nephew launched into a disjointed ramble that only vaguely resembled the plot of the film.

When he was finished, Julius nodded.

“Okay. I like the sound of that. Your turn, Lily. Tell me all about Cinderella .”

Lily jumped off the couch and gave a similarly complex overview of Cinderella , complete with lots of twirling and dancing.

“I don’t know. They both sound really amazing. I don’t know that I can pick. I really like movies with animals. Do you like any movies with animals in them?”

“ Nemo !” they both squealed, and shocked that they were actually agreeing, I grabbed the remote and queued up the film.

“All right, before we start the movie, you have to get your jammies on.”

They were racing from the room before I even finished speaking.

Turning to Julius, I inclined my head.

“That was some very clever negotiation, sir. Color me impressed.”

He wiped a hand over his forehead, pretending to wipe away sweat.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been under that much pressure before. I’m not too proud to admit I panicked.”

“You handled that like a champ. Seriously.”

“Maybe send them in to negotiate with the board next time.”

A laugh tumbled from my lips.

“You’re right. I should. They can give them their sad panda eyes if they don’t get their way.”

“It would work on me.”

Lily and Jude stampeded back into the room, and we all found spots on the couch, the twins sandwiched between Julius and me.

I had my arm thrown across the back cushion of the couch, and Julius shifted to mirror my posture, his fingers brushing against mine and tangling together as the movie started to play.

The same shock of awareness I always felt when we touched skated up my arm, and a shiver of pleasure at the simple contact shimmied down my spine.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d held hands with someone like this just for the simple pleasure of the contact, but I loved it.

Maybe because I was starved for simple, easy affection, or maybe because it was Julius.

While the movie played, I forgot I was CEO of a global company.

I forgot about the conversation Julius and I still needed to have.

I settled into the moment and soaked it up, letting it plaster over the cracks in my heart.

A squeeze to my fingers brought me out of the comfortable haze I’d fallen into with Lily’s warm weight pressed against my side and Julius’s fingers interwoven with mine.

“I think they’re asleep.” Julius nodded to where Jude was sleeping against his side, his little fists tucked up under his chin.

I nodded. “They’re out.” Reluctantly, I let Julius’s hand go, instantly missing the contact.

“Let me get Lily tucked in, then I’ll come back for Jude.”

“I can help you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Let me help you, Ethan.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d said those words to me, but every time I heard them, they wrapped around my heart and squeezed.

“Okay.”

Julius slowly turned his body, then lifted Jude into his arms until he was cradled against Julius’s broad chest. He stood as I did the same, lifting Lily into my arms. She mumbled something and nuzzled into my neck, and I hugged her just a little bit tighter.

My heart still broke for them and everything they’d lost, but when either of the twins hugged me or made me give them extra goodnight kisses, I thought maybe I might be doing okay at filling in for my sister and brother-in-law.

I would never be their mom and dad, but I loved Lily and Jude more than anything, and I would be there for them no matter what.

It wouldn’t be the same, but it might be enough.

I might be enough.

I led Julius down the hall to their room.

I had plenty of space in my house for them to have their own rooms, but when they first moved in, they wanted to stay together, so I’d made it happen.

They each had their own twin bed, and I’d made sure to let them pick out their own sheets and blankets so the space could become their own.

Crayon drawings were tacked up on the walls with tape, and toys littered the floor.

At first, the chaos had made me cringe.

Now, it was just a fact of life and something I wouldn’t change for the world.

I knew they’d eventually want their own spaces, and when that time came, I would make it happen, even if it made me a little sad to think about them growing up.

After settling Lily into her bed and pressing a kiss to her forehead, I turned to help Julius get Jude settled, only to find he’d already tucked my nephew into his bed and was waiting for me by the door.

I gave Jude a goodnight kiss too, and silently slipped from the room, closing the door behind me.

Julius waited to break the silence until we were back in the living room. “We need to talk.”