Page 1 of Mister Daddy

1

Abby

“Goodbye, Florida!” my best friend, Jessica, screams as the ship vibrates to life beneath our sandals. “See you in a week!”

The tiny blonde takes a long sip of her pineapple drink and attempts to drape an arm over my shoulder. She’s tipsy and too short, so she ends up clutching my waist to keep herself upright.

“Classy, Jessica,” our other friend, Caitlyn, snorts. “The cruise hasn’t even started yet, and you’re already sloppy drunk.”

“Hey,” Jessica objects. “I’m on vacation so gimme a break. I deserve to have a little fun!”

I roll my eyes. A little fun is exactly what I’m here for. Jessica and Caitlyn have been begging me to go on a cruise with them since they got back from their Mediterranean cruise last year. I made excuses left and right because honestly, I’m not into drunken carousing, although Italydoessound like a dream. But this January, my boss told me Ihadto take vacation time or I’d lose it. What? How can you lose vacation time? It seems unfair, since I slaved away alone in the office during Thanksgiving and Christmas with the specific purpose of saving up vacation time. Why was it going to disappear now?

But who knows how Human Resources works? The long and the short of it was that I either had to use my vacation or lose it forever. Framed that way, there was no question what my choice would be.

Helpfully, Jessica and Caitlyn overheard the conversation, since eavesdropping is their specialty, and figured this was the perfect opportunity to drag me onto a boat for a week.

“Come on,” wheedled Jess. “Seriously Abby, lighten up. I can practically see gray hairs already.”

I pulled at my curly brown strands.

“Well, I did notice that I had a gray hair in the back, but I’m surprised you can see it from the front,” I began.

Caitlyn rolled her eyes then.

“It’s just a saying, Abs,” she chimed in. “We don’t really see any gray hairs. Twenty-five is too young to turn all white. All Jess is saying is that you’re taking everything so seriously! I mean, this is a Caribbean cruise with hot men, island margaritas and a cool breeze over the mountains. Who knows? Maybe there will be a Keanu Reeves-lookalike on the boat and you’ll get lucky,” she winked.

I heaved a sigh. Arguing with my two best friends was pointless, even if I highly doubt that Keanu Reeves in any form was going to show himself on a gigantic cruise ship. But Caitlyn and Jess were right. I was behaving like a little old lady, when in reality, I should have been leaping to my feet with excitement.

So here I am, standing on a deck with a drunk and an almost-drunk, watching as our home state disappears. Jess and Cait are going crazy. For some reason, they brought leis in their baggage although we’re not headed to Hawaii, and draped them over their necks with big smiles.

“Are you going to say Aloha to everyone?” I asked with confusion, my brow crinkling.

Cait just rolled her eyes while taking another huge sip of a turquoise drink. If I looked closely, I could see a pineapple chunk bobbing around, but I swear, the drink was mostly alcohol with little to no fruit juice. It was probably at least thirty proof with just some apple juice splashed in as a sweetener.

“No silly, it’s just to get in the mood. Come on, you wear a lei too.”

I backed away, waving my hands.

“Oh no, I can’t. I’m not a lei person, and besides I have allergies!” Fortunately, at that very moment some pollen got into my nose and I let out a huge ah-choo!

But my friends were undeterred. Jess rummaged around in her luggage and popped back up with a sly smile and something even worse than a lei in her hand – a sparkly tiara.

“What is that?” I asked with terror in my voice.

“What do you think it is?” she said, tilting the headpiece so that the gemstones caught the light. “It’s a tiara. It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

The dazzle was so great that I swallowed, wincing a bit as the light caught my eye.

“I know it’s a tiara, but what’s it for?”

Jess let out a high-pitched laugh that frankly, scared me to the core.

“It’s for setting the mood, silly. In order to party hard, we need to get in the mood. Part of that is leis, tiaras, and who knows what else?” she asked with a sly smile. “I packed lots of junk in here that’s going to be very useful.”

I was horrified. What was in her bag? I was imagining all sorts of embarrassing things like feather boas and maybe even dildo-shaped straws.

“But we’re not at a bachelorette party,” I protested. “All that stuff is unnecessary.”