39

G abby lay against the pillows on her bed. An involuntary shiver went down her body as she recalled the afternoon’s events. Settled back at the cabin after reassurances from Dr. Beecham and the team, Gabby’s nerves refused to calm. A knock at the door made her glance in its direction.

“Come in.”

Claire entered her room. “Hello, Gabrielle. I wondered if you might like a cup of tea.” Patch walked in, carrying a tray of tea and cookies. He kissed Claire and gave a wink in her direction as he closed the door.

“You’ll have to excuse my fiancé. He doesn’t comprehend there’s a fine line between professionalism and friendship. He calls it bullshit.” She giggled.

“Are you here to see me professionally?” Gabby sat up, taking the tea.

“It depends on you. I can sit here and drink tea with you while you tell me about your harrowing experience, or I can dig my glasses out of my purse and put on my doctor’s hat.”

“I don’t feel like getting analyzed. Let’s keep it as friends. Bryanna left a few minutes ago. She seems to get along so well with the other women in Serenity.”

“And you feel a bit on the outside?” Claire sipped her tea and sat in the chair beside the bed.

“I met Bryanna through Knight when we decided to get married. I considered her my best friend.” Gabby set her cup down, taking a chocolate chip cookie from the plate.

“Do you not still consider her a friend?” Claire sat back and focused on Gabby.

“She’s loyal to Marcus. I discovered the hard way. Maybe I still feel a bit bitter about it. I love her and understand, yet it still makes me sad.” Gabby brushed the crumbs into her hand and dusted them into a tissue.

“When I started working here, Kassie and I experienced a misunderstanding. I watched her as she made friends with everyone on the mountain and held myself from the group because I used to see her professionally. Patch called me an idiot. When a former patient attacked me, the Serenity women showed me friendship can change and grow.”

Gabby caressed her stomach as the baby moved. “I’ve felt alone since I arrived in Seattle. Jackie became my only friend and I miss her.”

“Of course you do. Marcus said she fussed over you. Do you want to talk about today? It must’ve felt scary for you and the baby.”

Gabby picked up her cup, sipping the hot liquid, warming her insides. “It terrified me. I didn’t know if I’d ever see Marcus again and I worried they’d hurt the baby.”

Claire leaned forward, taking the tea from her and holding her hand. “The last year before he kicked me out, he seemed angrier than usual. He spun up, returned home and focused on a damn list he left on the fridge. We no longer acted like a happy couple. I became a chore for him. When I pleaded with him to spend time with me, he made excuses to return to the base. If I called him on it, he asked if I saw the list of things he needed to complete before he spun up. After a while, I stopped asking. When he missed my graduation, he came home and got in bed. I felt the desperation in him as he made love to me. I thought he finally realized the distance growing between us.”

Claire passed Gabby a tissue from the bedside table.

“I wanted him to feel proud of me. I worked, attended school, and interned to fill the empty hours. Discovering my pregnancy came as a shock. I felt excited and hopeful for us. When I asked Scott to drive me home, I never imagined Marcus returning. As soon as he noticed Scott, he made up his mind about us.”

“You must’ve felt disappointed.” Claire rubbed her hand, consoling her.

“I felt angry. Marcus left me way before then. He withdrew from our lives little by little. He complained because I planted a tree in the front yard and shrubs near the house. It led to fights.”

“What happened when he discovered you here? How did he react?” Claire handed Gabby another cookie.

She turned sad eyes to her friend. “He asked about the paternity of the baby. When he discovered my situation, he insisted on staying here. Now, he wants a relationship for the baby’s sake. He did the math, decided it must be his, and doesn’t want to spend the next eighteen years fighting with me.”

Claire scooted to the edge of the chair. “Did you ask him about his job?”

“We never discussed it. Marcus made it clear when we got engaged, he couldn’t discuss his job. The last year, he came home physically, but mentally and emotionally, Marcus disappeared.”

“It must’ve been hard.” Claire commiserated. “Have you asked him about it recently?”

She shrugged. “Why? He wanted this divorce. He took everything away from me. He hurt us.”

“Sometimes we hurt the ones we love the most. I’m not excusing what he did. You’ve spent time here with him without the stresses of his job and you’ve proven you can handle more than he thought. Communication can open up doors when we feel they’re shut. Have you thought about attending therapy? My docket’s full, but I can recommend Doctor Hill to see you professionally.”

“I never thought about it. It only works when both of us want it. If I gave him a chance right now, I’ll always wonder if he only did all of this for the baby. He never contacted me without using the lawyer. If he only reached out once…”

“I hear your concerns. Don’t you think you should express them to Marcus? He might ease some of your fears.”

Gabby stared at Claire but said nothing.

“I’ll let you rest,” Claire said. “You know Patch came here without much hope. Serenity has a way of offering a kind of peace for servicemen and women. If it can heal a hard head like my fiancé, you never know what it might do for a man like your husband.”

Gabby struggled to rise from the bed, unhooked the wires from the fetal monitor and went into the bathroom. She felt tired, and the fetal monitor provided her a sense of security. Claire’s words bothered her more than she cared to admit. Did Marcus go through something without telling her? She recalled the last year, she rarely saw him between the job, interning and graduation. When he returned home, it felt as if he never left the job. Frowning she climbed back into bed and hooked up the monitor. The steady heartbeat of her child calmed her as she lay against the pillows.

Marcus knocked as he entered. “Hey Kassie said the alarm went off, but she figured you took a bathroom break. Apparently it happens every couple of hours. Can I bring you more water or anything?”

“No. I’m exhausted and retiring early, hoping to end the day.” She turned to her left and used the pillow he gave her to support her stomach.

“You didn’t eat. How about a glass of milk? I made mac and cheese.” Knight pulled the blanket over her as she yawned.

“I don’t feel like eating. It’s too much effort to feed myself,” she explained as she wrapped her leg around the rounded edge.

“You’re in luck. I’ll put a straw in your drink and feed you. We can’t risk Little Tiger getting hungry in the middle of the night. You want to feel rested for the shower tomorrow.”

“Maybe a little,” she hedged, not really wanting to eat.

Knight disappeared and a few minutes later he reappeared with a bowl of pasta and a glass of milk. He sat it on the bedside table. First, he gave her a sip of milk. Then he scooped up the cheesy goodness and blew on it, before bringing it to her lips. She opened her mouth accepting her favorite dish. Her eyes closed as she relished the comfort food.

“You did good today. Because of you, Matthew’s pulling the records and they’re tracking shipments and Julio’s men plan to make an arrest. He’ll be charged with drugging you with intent.” He gave her another bite.

“Good. He needs to pay for Jackie. She didn’t deserve to die because of his greed and it sickens me what he did to all those people.”

“Yeah, he does. Don’t worry. The team’s gathering evidence as we speak.” He gave her another drink and another spoonful. When she finished, he helped her up to use the bathroom again. When she returned, he picked up the dishes and left the room. She climbed into bed. Even with the assurances from the doctors, fear still lingered. The panic she felt when she knew something went wrong refused to leave.

“I’ll leave the door cracked in case you need anything. Good night, Gabrielle.” Marcus stood in the doorway, with his hand on the knob.

“Marcus?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” he responded, sending shivers down her spine. She missed him calling her his sweetheart.

“Will you come lay beside me until I fall asleep? After this afternoon, I don’t think I can. You don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable.” She hid her face inside the pillow to keep from seeing his expression.

He didn’t respond, yet she heard him move about the room. The covers lifted, and he slipped inside. The bulging muscles of his forearms wrapped gently around her, enveloping her in security. She felt the warmth of his skin seep through her thin nightgown and realized he removed his shirt.

A sigh of relief slipped out before she stopped it.

“I’m here for as long as you need me. Don’t worry. Nothing will harm you or our child. Sleep, Gabrielle,” he whispered in her ear.

His warm breath sent a sense of longing deep into her belly. Her body remembered him. The way his hands stroked her body and his mouth…oh, the delicious things his tongue did to her.

Thirty minutes later, she struggled to keep from squirming against him. His hard chest pressed against her back and he seemed unaffected by their closeness.

“Is something wrong?” he asked quietly. Again, his warmth sent shivers through her.

She swallowed before turning to meet his concerned gaze. Her heart fought with her brain. “Marcus…I…I.” She couldn’t say it. Gabby’s mind shouted to resist, yet her heart yearned for him to touch her.

Marcus cupped her cheek, and his lips hovered as if giving her time to change her mind. When his mouth touched hers, she softly moaned. His tongue tentatively explored hers, and she sighed at its warmth. He sat up on his elbow and pulled her slightly beneath him, and the kiss deepened. Her arm wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

“Gabrielle,” he chanted as he peppered a kiss on her nose and along her jaw. She tilted her head, giving him access to her neck, letting him leave a trail of fire along her skin. His hand caressed her back, and despite the heat, she shivered.

His hand slid under the thin nightgown and she impatiently waited for him to continue his exploration. Her body brushed against his, feeling the hardness of his cock against her thigh, making him moan.

Knight pulled back to stare into her eyes. “You can feel how much I desire you. Do you want me? You’re all I think about and I don’t want you to regret this in the morning.”

Her breath hitched. What did she want? She wanted to feel lost in him. Gabby wanted to feel like she did when he couldn’t get enough of her and left her limp from his demands. But he didn’t feel the same.

“I can’t promise tomorrow. I need you, Marcus. I want to feel like we used to before…” she pleaded.

He sighed heavily and swallowed. “We can’t. Both of us have changed. I want nothing more than to do this. We experienced a huge scare today, and this might make everything feel better. But what about in the morning? Will you look at me with disdain and mistrust or will you trust me with your heart again?”

Gabby bit her lip. He hurt her in ways she never expected. It shredded her heart into tiny pieces and the only remaining shard held her love for their precious child. “You’re right. It’s not fair of me to ask this of you.”

He tilted her chin to meet his gaze. “Gabrielle. If I knew how to take away the hurt I caused you, I’d gladly do it. One day, I hope you’ll know how much I regret my decisions concerning you.” His mouth met hers. “Turn around. I promised to hold you and give you what you needed.”

Gabby turned, clung to the pillow and squeezed her eyes shut. He never mentioned love. As if her heart melded together with the heat between them, it cracked again, making her chest hurt.

Knight stroked her hair until her eyes drooped from the rhythm and she gave in to sleep.

When Gabby slumbered, Knight rose from the bed, put on his shirt and unlocked the patio door. Patch already stood outside waiting.

The asshole glanced at Knight and a smirk crossed his face. “Do you have a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me?” he whispered, half chuckling.

“Stow it, Patch. I’m not in the mood.” He entered the kitchen and grabbed a beer.

“Oh, but clearly you are. I’m sorry, buddy. I can’t help you there,” Patch replied smugly.

Knight rubbed the back of his neck as he sat on the couch. He stared at the bottle as if it held all the answers.

“What happened?” Patch sat in the chair.

Knight flung his body backward against the sofa. “Gabby and me. Never mind.”

“I know it’s hard. Hang in there. Claire and I circled one another before we got our shit together. Keep working on you.”

“What if things don’t get better? Fuck, Patch. She’s divorcing me in a week. She’s allowing me to stay right now because she doesn’t want me to create waves concerning the baby at court. What happens when we return?”

His friend shook his head. “Keep working the steps. You have a baby together. It’s not as if you won’t see her. I can’t promise you anything else. I do, however, have some news.”

“About Wilkinson?” he asked, hopefully.

“No. My nosy neighbor got a job offer and plans to sell her house. With Bryanna living here, Seattle isn’t far away; I wondered if you might want to check it out.”

He scowled. “It’s bad enough listening to you greet me daily with ‘Hey Asshole’ you think I want to share yards with you?”

“Serenity’s a nice place. You have the views, the schools rate high, considering Kassie and Victoria donated money to revamp it and the library. Plus, the proximity to your sister adds a bonus. It might come in handy once the baby arrives.”

Shaking his head, Knight paced the room. “I need a steady job. I blew it with the team. My sister calls me a butthead. What if Gabby moves? I want to stay close to my child…and her.”

“You’ll figure it out. The house can turn into a great project and act as therapy. Ask me how I know. If you saw how ineptly Claire handles a screwdriver and how many projects she tried fixing, you’d understand how I got my shit together. She even got the glass off the fireplace and I’m still not sure how she did it.”

Setting his hands on his hips, he considered it. “The job worries me. I don’t want to drive into Seattle every day during rush hour. If Gabby stays in the city, I’ll never be home. If she lived here, by the time I returned home, I’d get here in time to see my child eat dinner and go to bed. I want to stay involved.”

Patch scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Shit. I wonder where you might land a job in Serenity working security?”

“Come on. You know I blew my chances. They’re only helping because of Saint and Gabby’s Bryanna’s friend.”

“It seems to me you handled an op today without acting like an asshole until your wife got partially drugged. If it happened to Claire again, I’d lose my shit, too. None of the men on the team claim perfection. We’ve all screwed up at one time or another.”

“Like me?”

“Nobody’s that stupid. Seriously, you’re making changes. Trust me, Leo saw how you handled the op. If you want a job working with the team, put on your big girl panties and straight out ask him. He’s at the facility tonight.”

Knight glanced toward the bedroom. “What about her? She fought sleep for a while because she’s worried.”

A grin spread across his friend’s face. “Maybe if you stopped playing around with her, you wouldn’t have greeted me so enthusiastically.”

He punched Patch in the arm, grinning like a jackass. “Can you keep an ear out? I’m not far away. I can race back if needed.”

“Get going, asshole, before I change my mind.”

Knight grabbed his keys and wallet and raced to the door. Opening it, he turned back to his first real friend. “Thanks, Patch.”

The man sent him a middle finger, making him grin wider as he got into his truck and headed to see Leo. The idea of joining the team made him feel lighter, as if a load lifted from his back. It wasn’t about money or a desperate need for the job. It felt like anticipation. Knight focused on his future and possibly Gabby’s for the first time in a long time and he hoped.