Page 31

With one last murderous glare at the three of them Harrison left. The attendant nodded to Basil and walked away.

“I don’t think I like your club, Bas,” Leo said after a moment. Basil scoffed and Richard shook his head, still glaring in the direction where Harrison went.

“I didn’t even know he was a member here.” Basil drank his port.

“He may not be,” Leo replied, but he would probably check before applying for membership at any clubs, and he would definitely look into the deaths of his cousins. He knew all too well what that look in a man’s eye meant. Only one thing could have put that level of coldness in Harrison’s eyes.

“I think I’ve had enough of my fellow men tonight, gentlemen. I shall bid you good night,” Richard said, rising to his feet. “Leo,” he reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a business card, sliding it across the table to Leo. “My tailor. You’ll need new clothes and fast.”

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“I am now.”

*

Regina paced in her room, anticipation crackling around her like a lightning storm.

Soon Leo would come to her to complete their wedding, putting an end to years of waiting.

She didn’t mind it so much now, because the knowledge that she would have him as her husband was worth anything, everything.

She kept imagining what it would be like when he arrived.

Would he move slowly? Would he walk right up to her and kiss her like he had that night?

Even though she was a bit nervous about the experience she knew he would be perfect. Why waste time?

She glanced down at the dressing gown she wore over her nightgown.

It was easily the most scandalous thing she owned.

The nightgown that is, if it could be called that.

Her skin showed right through the thin green silk.

She needed something to do, something to occupy her thoughts other than the memory of his touch, or his voice in her ear.

Wait for me.

Should she be sitting patiently? Should she open the window?

It was a bit stuffy in the room. She stood and crossed over to the window, lifting the latch to allow the summer breeze in.

It sent tendrils of her hair tickling her skin reminding her of how he’d brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek.

Again, she forced herself to take a deep calming breath, attempting to wrestle her rebellious blood into some sense of calm.

Footsteps sounded down the hallway, and her heart leapt in her chest. Oh God, he’s here.

He’s come at last. What was this sudden anxiety?

She’d been anticipating this very moment all day and now when she heard him, she felt awkward.

Shy? The idea of facing him with so little on was daunting.

He would understand. She would stay here, and he would come to her, take her in his arms and ease every ounce of worry from her as he’d done many times before.

The door flew open with a crack like thunder, nearly sending Regina out of her skin before she spun around to see Edward Harrison standing in the doorway of her bedroom. An enraged flush covered his face, his hair stood on end and his eyes gleamed with malicious intent.

Regina’s stomach lurched and her entire body went cold as she stared at him in terrified incomprehension. How was he here? Where was Leo?

“You—” her weak voice cracked. “You cannot be here.” She pulled her dressing gown closed with numb hands.

“You’ve led me on a merry chase, my dear, but no longer.”

“My husband is downst—” she gasped as her eyes caught sight of the blood on his face. What had he done?

“Your husband as you call him is with the rest of the Starkley’s, and you are coming with me.”

“No,” she shook her head frozen in place as Harrison drew closer. Dead? Leo is dead? No, no it wasn’t possible. Run .

“Get over here!”

“No, I’m not going with you. I’m already married, you can’t take me.” Why couldn’t she move? You have to run . She couldn’t push away from the window, sheer panic keeping her where she was. Get away from the wall.

His hard hands closed over her wrist and her eyes stung with tears. “You mean your unconsummated marriage? I think that can be easily resolved.”

He jerked her forward and she tried to work his fingers loose with her free hand, digging her bare feet into the carpet, fighting for breath.

But her tears blurred her vision, and her sweaty hands couldn’t gain purchase on his.

She struggled, but her limbs seemed like lead, weighed down with the terror of what was happening. There was no escape, not for her.

“You caused me so much trouble humiliating me in front of everyone, running off with him at a moment’s notice.

Don’t think I didn’t see how quickly you were ready to accept him.

” He caught sight of her open robe, his eyes drifting over her barely concealed body.

“Well, well, well,” he murmured. He paused and took her in, a lascivious smirk spreading across his hateful mouth.

She felt sick. This wasn’t meant for him; she would never have given this to him.

“You’re nothing but a little slut, aren’t you?”

“Let go of me!”

“It seems there are some benefits to being your husband.”

She couldn’t break his hold, couldn’t remember how to get away from him, couldn’t force enough air in her lungs, couldn’t get her body to obey.

He was dragging her to the bed now with his cruel hands.

She hated the way she was pleading, desperate for mercy, a chance to break free.

He picked her up and threw her onto the bed and—

Regina sat up gasping for air, her body drenched with sweat, her hair sticking to her clammy skin.

Her throat was raw with tears or screams, she couldn’t tell.

Her stomach was cramping, sickening nausea working its way up to her throat, chilling her blood.

Clutching her throat, she stumbled over to the window, pushing it open into the storm raging beyond it.

The wind was harsh, the rain like cool pebbles.

She stuck her face out as far as it would go, letting it wet her face and neck.

She wanted to go out and stand still in the middle of all that ferocious energy.

Allow that heavenly water to cleanse her of Harrison’s imaginary touch, of his offensive gaze.

That was the third nightmare she’d had since she left Leo in the garden.

They were all different but with a similar theme.

In every one, she was waiting for Leo in a moonlit garden, in the study, or in her bedroom but instead of him, Harrison arrived to take her away.

In all of them, Leo was dead before she could marry him and consummate their union, leaving her, per contract, to Harrison’s ravages.

She could never run fast enough or far enough from him.

She was never able to hide or fight him off.

She was always left shaken and sickened with an ever-growing fear that this was somehow prophetic.

That the joy and relief she now felt wouldn’t last and that Leo would pay the price for her greed.

Slowly she sank to the floor, leaning against the wall and wrapping her arms around her legs.

During the day there was enough to do, but at night she couldn’t stop her mind from succumbing to her worst fears.

The idea of having to marry that man after knowing Leo was almost as excruciating as a world without Leo.

The door to her room opened and she looked up to see her mother in the doorway. She was bathed in moonlight, the dark thick curls she’d given to her daughters loosely braided over one shoulder.

“Regina?”

“Aai.” She pressed her trembling lips together. She couldn’t get up, but she wouldn’t cry.

“I heard shouting, why is that window open?” She walked towards her and closed the window firmly before crouching down before Regina. “Are you ill?”

Regina shook her head. Her mother ran her hand over her damp hair, gathering it up and away from her neck in one gentle pass. It had been so long since she had done that. So long since a touch from her was meant to comfort instead of adjust or fix.

“You are soaking wet. You need to change out of this.” She helped her to her feet and set her down on the chaise at the foot of her bed before moving over to the chest of drawers and pulling out a fresh nightgown.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Regina nodded.

“I had those too before I married your baba.” Regina looked at her in shock. “It wasn’t a love match between us. It was arranged much like yours was. But while your contract was struck when you were thirteen, I was married.”

“You married baba at thirteen?”

“Well, fifteen. Girls married young in India, and officers were encouraged to form alliances with wealthy or aristocratic families. He was twenty then, and even more uncomfortable with the idea than I was. We were not in love. We were strangers, and I had already seen what the British were capable of, as young as I was. I was terrified of what my life would be.”

“I didn’t know that. I thought you and baba were in love.”

“No. That came later. Years later.”

“I can’t believe baba willingly married a fifteen-year-old girl.”

“I wouldn’t say he was willing, but he was concerned about what another soldier would do if he elected not to marry me.

There were many British officers who thought nothing of marrying girls that young and molding them to their will.

Some of them preferred it. The girls didn’t speak English, the officers rarely spoke Hindi, so even if they wanted to speak to them they couldn’t.

Those unions produced children, but the girls who survived to adulthood, I don’t know how happy they were.

Your baba, the first thing he did was get me an English tutor, and himself a Marathi one.

“He didn’t want to be with me in that way until I could communicate with him fully.

No matter the comments or criticisms from others, your father always prioritized my wellbeing and defended me.

He gave me respect and kindness not because he loved or truly cared for me but because he was a good person.

The first time he slept beside me I was twenty.

We did not consummate our marriage until I was twenty-two. ”

“Seven years later?”

“He wanted us to know each other, and he maintained that if I wanted to leave, he would have the marriage annulled without objection. It wasn’t until those years had passed and I saw him acting in accordance with his words that I began to trust him.

That was when I understood the sort of man I had married. ”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“When your baba told me he was considering a marriage alliance with a baron for you if he could manage it, I imagined he would be more like your baba, a man of principle, gentleness and integrity, so I agreed. Perhaps your first fiancé was like that. The terms of the agreement were arranged to allay my fears of what he could do. It was intended to protect you from shame or humiliation.”

“I know that, aai.”

“I know I have not been what you would have wanted. I know I forced you to present yourself in a way that would be most appealing to your British husband without thinking of how it would make you feel. But I truly believed this match to be for your own benefit, perhaps willfully so. I believed you would make a fantastic Baroness. I never thought to use you for my own gain, Rajani, and I never wanted you to be a sacrifice. I would never have agreed to that.”

Her name. She’d said her name for the first time in years. “Aai…”

“I wanted the best for you always, but I could have done a better job of showing it. Of telling you my thoughts instead of trusting you would understand my intentions. I could have listened to you.” She touched her face, tears shining in her eyes. “Malā māpha kara priyē.”

“Aai.” She hadn’t expected an apology, but the effect of it was visceral.

She hadn’t realized how much she wanted her mother to acknowledge what had happened, how much she had lost for them.

She did realize how much she had missed her mother.

The tears Regina had been fighting back flooded forward.

Her mother reached out and pulled her close, laying her head on her shoulder, stroking her arm and her hair, rocking her back and forth like she was a small child.

Her mother almost always smelled of a combination of herself and Regina’s father.

Regina breathed her in. Pine and musk, jasmine and cloves.

“Mājhē badaka.”

It had taken years, but she was finally her mother’s little duckling again.