Page 21 of Mimic

It wasn’t by choice. It was just what I knew. Years had passed since I’d had things I wanted beyond what I needed. Not since before my mother disappeared.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Not wanting to think about my mother, I held my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. Ever since Rose had come back into my life, the nightmares had gotten worse. They varied between memories of torture and memories of days when Dakota pretended to be my friend, thinking he would lure me into a false sense of safety and trust. He hadn’t realized I’d learned to play his game.

His father had though. He constantly reminded me how much I was like my father. How I would break the same way he did.

I shot up and dressed. I needed to clear my mind. Grabbing my phone, I saw that the time read three-eighteen AM. I couldslip out of the clubhouse without anyone knowing. I needed a ride to empty the thoughts that were rattling around inside me.

Making my way downstairs, I froze when I entered the main room. There sat my sister, drinking a glass of water at the bar. Her eyes met mine, and we stared at each other.

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” she asked.

“Where’s Cash?”

She shook her head, a sad smile on her face. She hadn’t missed my avoidance of her question.

“He’s asleep. The first few times he got up with me, but he drags so much the next day, I had to beg and plead for him to go back to sleep. I’m used to this.”

“Used to what?”

“Not sleeping. The nightmares. The constant self-loathing and doubt that I deserve any of this. Take your pick.”

Everything she said resonated with me. We’d been separated for so many years, yet we still led very similar lives.

“You deserve all of this,” I argued, still standing in the doorway.

Rose studied me. Her sad eyes traveled over me, starting at my face and making their way down to my boots. I was uncomfortable under her scrutiny. I never wanted her to see what lay beneath the surface.

The front door opened, and Johnny, one of the prospects, walked in. King had him sitting at the bar in town every night Grace worked, watching over her. Making sure she got home after her shift without incident. He lifted his chin at me as he walked behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of water.

“You going for a ride?” Johnny asked.

Rose’s eyes snapped to mine. Her brows furrowed as she waited for my answer.

“Yeah.”

“Give me a minute; I’ll go with you.”

“No, you just got home. Go to bed.”

“I’m good. I’ll be up for a while yet.”

I knew that. This wasn’t the first time I’d met Johnny in the main room in the middle of the night. He never went to bed right after getting home.

“No.”

“King said—”

“Did you fucking hear me, Prospect?”

Johnny’s eyes turned hard. He was older than I was and hated that I gave him orders. His eyes landed on the patch on my cut, and I knew the moment he realized that even after he patched in, he would still be taking orders from me.

“Yes, sir,” he said with a sneer. He tossed his empty water bottle into the recycle bin and turned to my sister. “Do you need anything before I go?”

“No, Johnny, thank you.”

Once he was gone, Rose hopped off her stool and stomped over to me. “Why are you being an asshole?”

I rubbed my hand over my face as I exhaled. “Just a bad night.”