Page 27 of Midnight Hunt (Wolves of Midnight #4)

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GRIFF

It hurt to breathe.

Worthless? The love of my life thought she was worthless?

I couldn’t even fathom the word. Couldn’t understand how we’d reached this point. How she’d come to feel this way about herself.

Had I been missing the signs all along? Had I been so blinded by my love for her that I’d failed to see how lost she was?

Worthless.

That word could never describe the woman in my arms. She was strong and capable, loyal and kind, bold and fearless. But, apparently, she didn’t feel that way about herself.

“Look at me, Vi,” I repeated, trying to keep the pain out of my voice. Trying to sound calm when I was drowning in panic. “Please, look at me.”

She finally did, and what I saw in her tear-filled eyes would have brought me to my knees if I wasn’t already sitting down.

Defeat. Pure and utter defeat.

“You are not worthless, do you hear me?” I told her, willing my voice not to shake.

She stared at me, her gaze dull and lifeless, then said, “I never should have told you I loved you.”

The words were like a punch straight through my sternum. It felt like my insides were falling out of the gaping hole where my chest had been, but I managed to say, “You don’t love me?”

Her lip quivered, and she cried out, “I do love you. I love everything about you. I love the way you comfort me and make me laugh. I love your scent and smile and stupid hair. I even love it when you freaking tease me. You’re kind, caring, attentive, and you’re my best friend in the whole wide world. Even one second apart from you is pure agony. I feel like who I used to be when I’m with you. You make me feel whole again.”

Speechless. I was speechless . She felt all of that for me?

Her words elated me as much as they confused me. She loved me, but . . . “You make it sound like loving me is a bad thing.”

“It is , because I can’t stay away from you. I’ve tried. God, I’ve tried so hard to just be your friend. But every time you’re there for me, the lines blur, and I can’t push you away.”

“I don’t understand. Why would you want to push me away?”

“Because I’m using you!” she shouted and choked back a sob as her heat flared up again, leaving her skin hot and sweaty beneath my touch.

“Vi, you need relief,” I said, both for her sake and mine. The scent of her pheromones was heavy in the air, and my body was buzzing with adrenaline, desperate to answer its call. “Let me help you.”

A crazed laugh left her. “See? See? I confess that I’m using you, and you don’t even flinch. I’m bad for you, Griff. I’m needy and clingy, and because you’re so nice , you let me treat you like a . . . like a plaything . Like my own personal security blanket. But that’s messed up. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve someone sweet and innocent like Desirae.”

“But I don’t want Desirae or any other female. I want you , Vi. So go ahead and use me. Do whatever you want with me, because I’m yours, and that’s never going to change.”

Her lip quivered some more; then she stubbornly shook her head and whispered, “You’re only saying that because of Whiskey. Because of how he wants you to feel.”

Sudden fury whipped through me. In a flash, I had us both up on our feet. Vi gasped as I yanked her against me, firmly gripping her nape so she had no choice but to face my anger.

“Violet Jane Rivers,” I said in a deathly soft voice, “I’m going to say this once and only once. I am not Arrow. I would never betray you. Never hurt you. Never leave you. What I feel for you is real, not something my familiar is forcing me to feel. So if you want me to let you go, then too bad. I’m not going anywhere. And if you walk away from this again, then you should know that I intend to follow you. I’ll push and push and push until you have no choice but to believe that my love for you is genuine .”

Fresh tears coursed down her cheeks, but I didn’t wipe them away. If she wanted my comfort, then she would need to ask for it. I was too hurt to accept anything less. Too incensed that she’d compared me with Arrow. I knew he’d wounded her deeply and had shaken her confidence when he’d so readily rejected her after discovering that Sable was a demonic spirit, but to assume that I would treat her the same way pierced my very soul.

Angry , Whiskey spoke in my mind.

I know, buddy. Me too .

Angry at us for not noticing .

That gave me pause, and I was forced to admit the same. I should have seen the signs. I should have realized how deep her pain went. I was the pack healer—it was my job to notice.

After an unbearably long moment, she finally spoke again. The words were hushed. Barely a whisper. Vulnerable in a way she’d never allowed herself to be before. And every single one of them gutted me.

“I’m poison, Griff. I destroy everything I touch. I had one job—to support and strengthen my family—and I failed miserably. Because of that failure, my dad died and my mom broke. Melanie spent her childhood without a mother. Kolton was forced to become alpha before he was ready. I destroy families. I break them. And it’s only a matter of time before I break us too. It’s why I can’t be yours. It’s why I have to deny my feelings, because if I give in to them, I’ll end up destroying the one thing I can’t live without. You.”

She might as well have shot me in the heart point blank with a silver bullet. I could barely stand under the weight of her confession, a burden that she’d forced herself to carry for way too long. I’d known she blamed herself for the fallout with Arrow, but this was so much deeper than that. She blamed herself for everything , and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Leave, Mason.”

My brother had been quiet during the heart-wrenching exchange, but I was all too aware of his continued presence.

“Griff, I . . .” he started.

“ Leave ,” I snapped, unable to focus on anything but Vi at the moment.

When I heard his car start and slowly pull away, all of my attention went back to her. Studying her distraught face, hard resolve filled me. Soft words hadn’t helped me get through to her in the past, so it was time for a new tactic, one that would either break her . . . or heal her. I was desperately hoping for the latter, but either way, I couldn’t let her continue on like this anymore, stuck in a limbo of self-flagellation.

So I did what I never did with her. I called on every ounce of my dominant nature and wielded it to put her in her place. To challenge her. She thought she could destroy us? Well, I was going to prove her wrong.

“Do you trust me?” I asked her, firming my grip on her neck so she couldn’t look away.

Fear flickered in her eyes, but it only hardened my resolve more.

“Vi, do you trust me?” I demanded. Pushed . Forcing her to face her insecurities. When she finally bobbed her head, just once, I said, “Then trust in my love for you. Trust that it’s strong enough to withstand any storm. It won’t break, and you can’t destroy it.”

“Griff . . .”

“I’m not finished, Vi. If I make you feel whole, then I want you to use that. I want you to use me . Nothing would satisfy me more than seeing you restored to who you used to be, and if I’m the instrument that helps you heal and regain your confidence, then I feel honored. Taking care of you fulfills me. Your pleasure is my pleasure, your happiness my happiness. So use me, Vi. Tell me what you need. I’m not asking—I’m demanding. I should have demanded you tell me years ago, but—”

“You.”

I blinked, certain I’d heard wrong. “What?”

“You, Griff. I need you . All of you. I’ll never need anything more.”

I stared at her, letting the beautiful words sink in.

Then I lowered my head and crushed our mouths together.