Page 37 of Merry Fake Bride

I want to debate with her, but she gently uses her body to push me away from the stove as she makes up her own mind, so I place the phone back to my ear.

“Sorry, Amanda. My night just freed up. Where do you want to meet?”

Two hours later, I perch on a pink satin bar stool with a strawberry mocktail in one hand while Amanda nearly falls off her own stool from laughing.

“And then!” She gasps for air. “And then Hannah comes running out of the bathroom with her underwear at her ankles yelling for a condom! I’ve never seen anyone so desperate for dick!”

Hannah, with her curled auburn hair scooped to one side and a dress so sparkly that I see stars every time I look at her, slaps Amanda on the shoulder and squeals. “You didn’t need to tell her that part!”

“It’s the best part.” Amanda laughs.

“I mean, true. When you know, you know, right?” Hannah giggles. “Anyway, nine months later, Adrian was born and I locked that sexy linebacker into a marriage that lasted all of fiveminutes. He’s not a bad guy. We’re just not life compatible, but we’re both still single so…” She winks at me. “The bedroom is always busy!”

“And yet you’re out here trying to pick up anyone who even looks at you,” snorts Maria, the last of the group as she returns to us with more drinks in hand. “Honestly, you need to come with a warning sign.”

“What warning?” Hannah gapes. “That I’m old enough to know what I want and confident enough to ask for it? These days, you need to be obvious, otherwise you’ll end up going home to a trusty plastic dick that lacks the warmth of a real man.”

“You can keep your plastic dicks.” Marie snorts. “Once you’ve felt the touch of a real woman, nothing else compares.” She smirks at Hannah and dances her fingers up her bare arm. “Experimentation is the flavor of life, darling.”

“Oh, please.” Hannah knocks Marie’s touch away with a giggle. “I’ve seen the dildo you keep in your bedside drawer. You crave dick as much as the rest of us.”

“Just not the man attached!” Amanda manages to get out around her laughter.

They collapse into giggles and it’s infectious.

The hours pass much the same, old stories shared ranging from sexual conquests to budding family life.

It’s nice to see how they’ve all blossomed in their own ways in the five years I was absent, but there’s sadness too.

I missed a lot of their milestones such as marriage, children, and birthdays.

I learn through a sad toast that the fifth member of our childhood group was lost three years ago to a mugging gone wrong, but despite the sadness piercing through the air, we focus on the good times we had with her while sneaking out of class or dodging the cops down by the docks.

“I gotta say.” Marie loops her arm around my neck and thankfully, everyone is too drunk to notice my recoil. “I never thought I’d see you back, Devon. I thought L.A. was it for you. Fancy state, fancy job, fancy man…?” She wiggles her brows.

“No man,” Amanda corrects for me. “It’s just a coincidence that Frank vanished the same day!”

It turns out a guy she knew moved to L.A. at the same time I did and everyone thought my silence was because we were together.

Her story brought more relief than I could express because if Axel knew anything about my hometown, this safe bubble would burst.

“A shame. What about the guy who helped you with this?” Marie taps my cast. “Is he a catch?”

“No,” I reply after draining my glass of water. “He’s just another rat.”

The conversation dives into old exes and terrible lovers after that, and we talk for so long that I don’t notice the time until the bartender’s calling for last drinks.

As much fun as this has been, I quickly excuse myself from their last order and head outside.

A brisk, sharp wind forces me to huddle inside my thin coat, a choice that didn’t seem important on the Uber over here.

Now that I’m outside getting some fresh air, it definitely wasn’t the right choice for this kind of weather.

Tapping quickly through my phone, my heart sinks as the battery flashes its last warning while I try to access the Uber app, but just as it alerts me to a driver in my area, my phone stutters and dies.

“Fuck.” Stamping my foot against the cold, I hold down the power button repeatedly, but there’s really no juice left in my device.

I should have charged it before I left.