Page 5

“Do not argue with me. Do not give me attitude or I will tell Savage what you have done,”

Poppy sneers.

“I was trying to help,” I insist.

She points up at me from where she crouches over Sefina. “You neglected her request. You were told she had medicine. You did not return her bag.”

“I was thinking long-term survival, her walking through the night with—”

“Look at her!”

Poppy nudges my mind over our network so hard and fast that I feel like I’ve been slapped in the back of the head. I curl forward.

“Set her bag down!”

I do as Poppy says as if Poppy is in command of my body. The female Titans have stronger cyberpsyches than us males. When I drop the bag beside her, she sighs.

“I know you were just trying to help, Menace, but you must listen to the needs of women. They are not machines. They are more sensitive and have—”

She glances back at the pile of Welvir bodies that their kind trampled over as they ran from Sefina’s cries.

Poppy chews a lip and almost looks like she’s going to cry. Then she grits her teeth. “There are many enemies out there,”

she quietly says. “They take advantage of those they think are weaker when they are capable of more extraordinary things than we can comprehend.

“Do not be like our enemies. You must accept the limitations of your knowledge as a Titan. Do you understand me?”

She is taking charge like a CyberPilot. I have missed order amid this chaotic battle to survive. I was built for one purpose. It was not the same as hers.

Sickening guilt grips me. “Yes, Poppy.”

She gets up and slings Sefina’s bag over her shoulders, balancing it on top of the rest of her gear. “Pick her up.”

I hesitate while Bomber and Shifter watch.

Poppy sighs. “Shifter can’t. Bomber still has to diffuse his gadget. Carry her.”

My ultro spools faster as I crouch beside Sefina’s limp body. She is gorgeous when she sleeps, all anger wiped from her face. But I cannot touch her like this. I’m not ready.

I am not built for this.—for handling pretty things. I’m not sure where to hold her that won’t hurt her more.

“What is with you?”

Poppy hangs her rifle at her side. “You have carried others.”

She looks at Shifter.

Menace>>Shifter: Not a word. Tell her, and I’ll rip out your ultromotor myself.

Shifter>>Local: Don’t fuck with me, Menace. Get your shit straight. We don’t have time for internal battles. Be honest with Poppy about why you kept medicine from Sefina.

Menace>>Local: I didn’t keep it from her, you traitor. I am a stealth unit. My human programming has never worked properly, not since the plant. I must judge these situations like a human, by guessing. So kindly fuck off. I’m doing my best to help the only way I know how.

Poppy gasps. “Menace…”

Menace>>Local: Shut up. All of you.

I lock my coms for a moment and study Sefina as I try to clear my head.

I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I still don’t really understand what’s going on. You were so strong just a minute ago. What happened?

Reluctantly, I slide my arms under Sefina and gather her against my chest. When I stand and look down at her, something buried in my core cracks with agonizing force. It makes me curl myself around her body and not want anyone else to ever touch her again.

Sefina is the only female I feel might be able to handle me, but all I’ve done is push her away and hurt her. I just can’t bring myself to admit what I need to her because needing anything makes me vulnerable. The Solcrue are cruel and like to use what we love against us: our Brothers, our human commanders, our ships, and human females, especially the mates of Brothers.

I adjust my grip on Sefina so that her head rests against my shoulder.

Poppy comes closer. Instinct makes me back up.

She grabs me by the elbow and stops me. “Possessive brute. Why didn’t you just tell me you care for her?”

“I don’t.”

“Sure, and I’m a human,”

Poppy sasses as she opens Sefina’s mouth and slips another bit of a soft, dark material under her tongue. “Don’t let her head roll back, or she could choke on it.”

“How long is she going to be like this?”

Poppy shakes her head and pushes us in front of Shifter and Bomber, who take up rear guard posts. “A few hours.”

“What did you give her?”

“It’s a root only found in a few places in the Solcrue system.”

“Why does she get migraines?”

“Suddenly talkative?”

Poppy glances behind us as we catch up to the other survivors. “She’s like most of the girls here, used and tested on. She grew up a descendant of augmented rebels. They practiced connecting with the energy of all things around them.”

“Sounds like magic.”

Poppy packs the medicine into Sefina’s bag.

Poppy>>Menace: Is it so far off to think that humans could not communicate as we do with the right enhancements? Where do you think they came up with the programming and tech?

Poppy>>Menace: Humans tried everything to stay in contact and keep rebel groups alive despite the Solcrue, all the way back to the original Sol system. She takes this root to shut it off because someone poked around in her head, no doubt trying to control her abilities.

Menace>>Poppy: That’s why she has trust issues? She keeps everyone at a distance because she thinks everyone wants to crack her head open?

She slides me a glance. “You two have more in common than you know.”

I memorize the softness of Sefina’s curvy body in my arms, certain she’ll punch me in the face and run the moment she wakes and sees me carrying her.

“You should tell her,”

Poppy whispers as we follow the survivors into a new tunnel.

“She is safer knowing nothing. You all are.”

“Morbid has given us the general idea of what happened to you.”

I catch the warm scent of Sefina’s hair and find myself drawn to it.

Poppy pokes me in the side. “Don’t sniff her.”

“I’m an animal, Poppy. And Morbid wasn’t in my cage. We did not all get the same treatment. He can kill with touch. I have to use my teeth.”

Poppy’s eyes flash. “Rebel wants to see Sefina. We’re setting up camp not far ahead. When she wakes, tell her the truth.”

“I’ll tell no one of what I went through. I am not a victim. I do not want pity. I want to be left alone so I can put it behind me.”

“No, you don’t.”

Poppy reaches over with the tenderness of a Creator and wipes the blood dripping from Sefina’s nose with a cloth she pulls from her medical kit. “Every Brother has known you wanted Fin since Rhee saved Diesel. You obeyed Cara’s desire to try an improvised iridithatium blast weapon on her, but you won’t let Sefina carry her own stuff?”

“It’s different.”

“How?”

“One was for the benefit of all. Now we have RID shots that will help us fight Solcrue. Sefina was only wearing herself out carrying all that stuff.”

“You took her choice from her. You took control without any regard for her concept of her well-being or independence, which is just as important to humans as it is to us despite the fact that they made us to protect them. They made us in their image. And we were once human. How would you like it if someone took control of your body?”

It was horrible, mind-numbing, worse than death.

Poppy is right, and it eats at me. I carry Sefina into the cavern where Brothers form a ring of protection around the human females in the center. They make up little beds with scraps of blankets and light the cavern with a handful of lanterns strapped to stalactites. Women huddle together for warmth and share food to make sure everyone gets a bite of something.

They all deserve better than this. I can’t give them peace. I am only capable of killing and carrying the weight others can’t.

I find Rebel busy with two other injured females. Poppy sets Sefina’s bag down beside me as I sit on the floor. She checks under Sefina’s tongue and seems to approve of how much the root has dissolved.

“Be honest with her.”

Poppy gets up and walks off.

A few minutes later, Rebel finds me and kneels beside Sefina. “You can lay her down.”

“Still root under her tongue.”

“Ah. Okay.”

Rebel examines me with his tablet before a light smile cracks on his face.

“What?”

I growl, feeling like everyone’s attention is suddenly on us.

“Nothing.”

Rebel keeps smiling and just shakes his head.

I grumble, feeling like I’m losing control of the situation. Everyone knows I want Sefina in some form or another, even though I’ve tried to keep it hidden and stay away from her. But I have to be close enough to know she’s okay, or it haunts me everywhere I go.

“I think she’ll be alright with some rest.”

Rebel pockets his scanner. “You good to hold her for a few more hours?”

“If I must.”

Rebel gets up and surveys those around us. “Morbid is available if you would like to trade out.”

“No.”

Rebel doesn’t press the matter or pester me with questions like Poppy and Shifter. “Make sure she gets water when she wakes. That root will dehydrate her. It’s very potent.”

He gets up to leave.

“Rebel?”

“Yes?”

He patiently waits for me to get up the courage to ask.

“What’s happening to her?”

He squats beside us. “She was only with a small group of people before us. Down here, the concentration of life forms is high. She has a heightened awareness of others compared to other humans.”

He slips a finger inside her collar and exposes a tattoo of a shield with a sword and a ribbon swirling around it. “She was a sentinel. She guarded augmented mediums and has scanner implants so she can see what we see.”

“That’s why she doesn’t hear our conversations but always knows where the welvirs are?” I ask.

“Likely. She tries to hide it, sort of like you hiding from your past.”

He rests a hand on my shoulder. “Enjoy the peace before she wakes up.”

I wince. “You’re a dick.”

Rebel chuckles to himself. “No, I’m warning you the way I usually warn others about you. Finally get a taste of your own medicine.”

I snarl at him but don’t hate him because, deep down, I know he’s right. And it’s a disappointing reflection of my personality. But I can’t bring myself to be anything but ruthless. It’s what it takes to survive the Solcrue. And I’ll never let myself be vulnerable like I once was again.

I can’t fall for her.

I can’t fall for her.

But as I stare down at Sefina’s sleeping face and sense the heat of her warm body against mine, I start to want something else for myself than revenge. I want more moments like this: quiet, comfortable, and with someone I care for.

I miss feeling human.

And I do respect her. I just suck at showing it because it wasn’t programmed into me to be understanding. I was designed to end life. They tortured and weaponized me against my own kind. And then I mutated into something irredeemable.

But in this moment, watching her chest rise and fall with every breath, I want a different purpose. I wish I could be what she deserves with every ounce of me. So I make a decision.

I swear from this breath on, I will do everything I can to use what I’ve become to make up for my mistakes and keep Sefina safe, whether she wants me to or not.

If she makes it.

I hope she does, or I may decommission myself for harming the only one who might understand this monster I’ve become.