Page 3

In just two days, we will load onto the Titan ship, a BlazeStar I have not yet seen but heard many of our leaders speak about. I’m not sure we are ready for an escape with three, soon-to-be-four, enemy motherships in orbit. But I want off this rock. I want Solcrue to pay, and I want my friends to be safe, not hunted like animals and forced to hide in dirty tunnels, even if some of us aren’t entirely human.

Shifter slinks through the passageway beside Poppy and me. His body is made of tiny metal bars that he can fold and crawl through cracks.

After I confronted him, Menace has retreated to his post in the shadows behind us. I don’t think he wants help protecting the rebels. Maybe he just doesn’t want to live. I don’t know. But what Poppy said about him concerns me.

All I can see when I look back is the faint red glow of his eyes. When he’s in stealth mode, and I can’t see his eyes because he’s relying on scanners, all I know for sure is a feeling he’s back there and that blob of pulsing blue light. I can sense him when others can’t, just like I sense Shifter, Poppy, and every human and welvir.

Tumble is ahead of Bomber in the parallel tunnel to our right. I don’t know how I know, not for sure. But I can feel them in the local area. I can count them. I know if it’s a machine, a human, or an animal by the vibration in my spine and the way the image shimmers or pulses if I can see them without rock in the way. I am a divining rod and likely the last of my people to survive.

And I will never tell a soul. It’s the only way to keep myself from being experimented on or used to track others again. Poppy just happened to know what I was.

Commander Savage of the CyberTitans seems to think our little group of outcasts like working together or because we’re the rejects no one wants to talk to. I’m still unsure. We are, unfortunately, often assigned to the same camp or patrol zone.

“Ow!”

A woman jerks away from Shifter.

“Everything’s going to be fine. We’re going to get out of here soon,”

he says. The emaciated woman huddles in threadbare clothes, shuffling along behind the group. By the bandage on her side, she’s likely putting all her energy into healing.

“Shifter, don’t lie to her.”

I snap. “And keep your hands to yourself. Everyone knows you sneak around the women’s quarters.”

Shifter slips into the shadows. “I don’t want her to be scared. She’s not doing well.”

“Fear makes us pay attention,”

I tell him. “It can save us from dangerous things in the way your scanners do because it keeps us watching what’s going on around us.”

“Too much can kill a human,”

he replies.

I sigh, knowing he’s right. It’s why I try not to show my weakness in front of those who look to me for protection. “Don’t say something you can’t for sure follow through with. Captain Forthus lied about me to get others to buy me. It’s why I’m here. I had to deal with the consequences and their furious disappointment. Forthus and every other seller told me I would be fine. But this is war. Nothing is ever fine.”

I take Horvina’s bag and reluctantly sling it over the rest of my gear. Then I hand her a meal ration from a stash I always keep on me. “Did his skin pinch you?”

“Yeah.”

Horvina quietly cries. A healing bruise tarnishes her left cheek.

I nod but am unsure of what else to say to comfort her.

Shifter has a strange body texture like many Titans—Drillbit, Thruster, Spike, Talon, and electrified Reactor—something that makes it difficult to touch humans. I sense Shifter’s loneliness as he sulks away from us, and now I feel bad for my outburst.

“Shifter.”

His radiant purple eyes watch from the cracks. We can’t raise our voices too much or it draws the attention of welvirs, so I reach for his wrist with a gloved hand.

His body ripples out of my grasp like a hundred thousand links of very fine chain mail. Shifter just looks at me with dejection. I reach again, and his body caves and splits into two shimmering waves of metal.

Menace grabs him from behind, his hands seizing the shoulders of Shifter, who squirms and wraps himself in threads around a nearby stalagmite. But Menace’s grip doesn’t let him go.

“How are you doing that?”

Shifter’s voice wavers like he’s struggling with dry gears or his engines have hit their Rev limiters.

I have the same question.

“Because of what I am,”

Menace rumbles. “Leave the females alone. Next time, I won’t let go.”

Menace releases Shifter, who immediately slinks back behind the stalagmite. I know by Menace’s tone that he intends to hurt Shifter if he does it again.

“You should’ve called for help,”

Menace remarks to me.

“I was going to handle it fine on my own.”

“One, no, you were not. No one can physically control Shifter except me, Savage, and Morbid. Two, you are too hardheaded to see that you are still mortal.”

“You’re not invincible either,”

I protest as he walks off.

Menace sneers at me. “No fucking shit. We’re stuck in this shithole on an outer rim planet because we’re all superheroes.”

I call Tumble over to us while pushing past Menace. Tumble glances between us. “Yes, Fin?”

“Horvina is shaking. Any chance you can carry her?”

“Sure.”

Tumble picks her up with ease. A smile decorates his youthful face. “Hello, Horvina. My name is Tumble. I like rolling down hills and picking flowers in the meadows. Have you ever seen a butterfly?”

Tumble is probably the gentlest Titan of all the ones I’ve met. He carries her behind the main group. Guns and blades hang from his fit body. How he’s maintained such an innocent spirit despite what he’s been through recently has me wishing I could learn his secret.

Menace glowers at Tumble, who ignores him, and then turns to Shifter. “Don’t touch the females.”

When Menace sees me looking at him, he growls. “What?”

I still can’t figure him out. He’s so angry compared to the other Titans, the polar opposite of units like Tumble. “What has you in such pissy knots all the time?”

“What’s with the impudence on your face?”

Menace sneers back.

“It’s just my face. That’s what years of torture, brewing resentment, and vengeance do to a human. You can program yourself to be pleasant.”

“And you can’t?”

he challenges.

“It’s never as clear as an on-off switch with us,”

I reply as I continue patrolling with Shifter, who is not far away. “Everything is simultaneous for humans. I can try to smile but the underlying pain will always show to some degree. You can literally block it. The difference is you choose not to switch off.”

“I’m not in pain,”

Menace retorts.

“You’re lying to yourself if you think that.”

“You don’t know shit.”

Menace stalks back into the shadows.

“Fucking asshole,”

I huff, steady my rifle in my hands, and continue the agonizing journey to the next camp spot. Nothing about this underground migration has been easy, least of all Menace’s presence.

Part of me wants to get through to him and help him heal because I know how it can hurt to be buried under memories, guilt, pain, and hopelessness. Another part of me just wants him to get it over with, whatever’s on his mind, so he can move on and stop being such an emotional drag. But I know it’s my own tug-of-war inside that’s caused my lack of empathy. So I try my best not to jerk on his chains too much.

Shifter weaves along the wall like a black metal river. After miles of awkward silence, I can’t endure the idea that Shifter’s actions might simply be misunderstood. Poppy’s ignoring him, but I know I’ve felt the same way as Shifter.

“You hang out in the women’s caves and watch them all the time. Why?”

I ask him, wondering if there’s a good reason or if I should, in fact, kick his ass for peeping.

Shifter ripples himself upright into a Titan shape again. He hangs his head, the angled planes of his face constantly readjusting. “Because I can’t touch them, but I want to be sure they’re okay. And I still want to touch them, believe they’re real, not just a corruption of my programming that has made me see what I dream about.”

“You dream of lots of women?” I tease.

“No. I just want one who will smile at me. I want to know love like the other Brothers. But I am like Drillbit. I am dangerous to their flesh. I can carry them in an emergency. But I will never get to hold one like a mate. I will be alone forever, so I simply watch and help wherever I can.”

“You speak of them like I’m not one,” I mutter.

Shifter inhales sharply. “I didn’t mean to imply such.”

“It’s okay. I’m just curious why.”

“You are human and female.”

Shifter stops in an open passageway to the left, body folding in waves of metal as he turns to look down it. “But sometimes, you do come across as Titan.”

“Titan?”

I laugh in disbelief.

“You fight like us, know about ship tech and weapons, and can carry a large portion of gear. You’re also not emotional like the other women.”

“Probably because I’m dead inside,” I mutter.

He squints at me. “You think Titans are dead inside?”

“No, I meant emotionally dead. Like some of you.”

I glance back in Menace’s direction.

Shifter glares back into the darkness behind us. “Menace does not like many of us, especially me. I think a lot of my Brothers don’t.”

“Maybe they just need to hear the truth. Tell them what you told me.”

He continues along beside me. “What makes you think anyone will listen?”

“Menace doesn’t like anyone,”

I offer. “Especially himself. I think you all need to have an ultro-to-ultro chat, especially before this final battle.”

“You think he doesn’t care about himself?”

“Takes one to know one,”

I sigh. “But that doesn’t change the fact that Titans prefer the unadulterated truth. Honest admissions are a big part of that. Give them the facts and let them decide. Otherwise, they will make decisions based on what they know now and will ignore all opinions.”

“Do you not tell your truth and care for yourself because you worked for the enemy?”

Shifter asks. He’s a bit bolder than I expected.

“Some of it is that. Bounty hunters’ enemies change from moment to moment because their alliances are based on accessing their objects of desire. That’s not who I am but who I worked for. Not by choice. None of it was by choice except surviving.”

“How did you?” he asks.

Behind us, Menace’s red glow breaks up the shadows. He’s curious.

“Played along, learned what I could, sabotaged what I could, survived to defy them and get back to my people. I was always guarding humans and Titans, mostly their cybernetic parts. I never cared what solcruean junkers and hunters did to solcruean officers or vice versa.

“Guilt is powerful, you know. It’s more the friends I tried to save but couldn’t because I wasn’t smart enough or fast enough. They turned to me for help, and I let them down. I was only able to save myself in the end. And that pisses me off. Anger is fuel when nothing else is left.”

Talking of past mistakes makes my throat ache and my headache worsen. “I couldn’t always think straight after the hunters fucked with my augments. Anyway, I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

Shifter shakes his head. “It’s not your fault. You protect your human Sisters like I protect my Titan Brothers. It’s not easy to see a human in trouble and call another Brother to help them. It feels like a cop out, like I’m lazy. I want to assist. I’m just starting to realize that I have no place among humans.”

The rejection in his voice breaks my heart. “You’re not the only one.”

He clenches his teeth so hard his jaw muscles dance. After a moment, he adds, “I was so excited to see all of you, just like my Brothers. Then to find out I didn’t comfort any of you, just hurt you—”

I nod. “Not your fault, but it still sucks. I get it. We just have to find a way to either smooth you out or make someone able to endure you.”

Then I remember a set of gloves I’d found on a Skysprinter salvage mission a few days prior and fish them out of my bag. “Here, take these. Hopefully they fit. That should help for now.”

I hand him the gloves. Shifter thanks me like he can’t believe I’d give up something so precious. But they’re far too big for me, anyway.

I shrug. “I know what it’s like to be looked at like a monster. No one wants to get close because you’re too angry, dangerous, dirty, or messed up in the head.”

“What exactly happened to you?” he asks.

The shadows thrum in my mind with Menace’s frequency. I can practically feel his breath on my neck in the shadows that hug the back of our group.

“Bounty hunters aren’t known for their morals. They knew I was augmented. Tried to turn my brain into a scanner.”

“Ah, right.”

Shifter puts the gloves on and rubs his hands together like he can’t get used to how they feel. “Is this what it’s like to have skin?”

“Not quite. But might be close to Titan synthskin. I wouldn’t really know. I’ve only handled your insides, never quite touched a Titan with synthskin.”

He hums a note of disappointment. “A few of us don’t have any, like Drillbit and me.”

“And me, lugnut,”

Poppy snorts.

“Right. I apologize, Poppy,”

Shifter says, keeping his head down.

She steadies her pack as she hikes over a boulder. The cavern rumbles. Rock pours from the ceiling behind us, shaking the cavern.

Menace stalks toward us, shaking off gravel and dust. His red eyes and badge swell the clouds with light. “They’re catching up. We need to move faster and stop talking.”

He pushes me closer to the others. I swat his hands away. “Touch me again, and I’ll cut it off.”

“I’d like to see you try,”

he growls.

Oh, his arrogance infuriates me. “Maybe I can’t, but I like thinking about it.”

Menace curls back his lips as I hurry after the group with Shifter and leave him behind. I wish I could be literally anywhere else.

Menace monitors the cavern’s collapse and turns to patrol the tunnel for any welvirs that have slipped through. He and Shifter exchange dirty looks like they’re having a private conversation.

“What’s he saying?”

I ask Shifter.

“You don’t want to know.”

Shifter snorts in disapproval and turns to me.

“I do.”

“Welvirs are coming. We need to keep going. No rest. We have to make it to the pick-up spot tonight so we can fortify it, and Drillbit can cut us an escape path under the regular network.”

As much as that sucks, I know it’s not everything they discussed. It’s in the way Shifter looks away from me. “What else?”

Shifter eases away from me. “He wants me to stay away from you.”

“Me?”

What in stars for? “Screw Menace! He hates everybody.”

“Not females. I know he doesn’t. Every Titan knows. Even Poppy.”

“Leave me out of this,”

Poppy huffs.

I offer Shifter my hand just to annoy Menace.

He hesitantly takes it. “What’s this for?”

“Because this universe is a shitty place riddled with Solcrue, traitorous Cyborg Submission Patrol, bounty hunters, and judgmental assholes who will always find something to not like about someone else. Anyone like Menace who tries to keep us from working together to survive is a virus of hatred that will rot us until we fall apart.”

When I look back at him, I watch his red lights wink out. “Either we find a cure or we cut off the dying limb. That’s how we survive.”

Shifter gives me a wild look. “You’re just as fucked up as him, but I understand your point.”

“It’s not a point. It’s experience,”

I say. “I was that part that got cut off. I hindered the missions because I was trying to help humans and Titans, not Solcrue. It’s why I got sold off so many times, kicked out of airlocks, and stabbed in the back. The pathetic hundred credits each seller profited from selling me also made me a problem for their competition. They got more out of getting rid of me than anything.”

Despite the wretched war, I want to see the universe as a beautiful place. But I guess I’m too much like Shifter, too harmful to touch what I want, and like Menace with my tainted heart. So I keep my secret desires to myself.

“Sefina,”

Shifter quietly says as we tighten our patrol. He squeezes my hand and lets go. “Thank you for the gloves. And I think you shouldn’t count yourself such a lost cause. I know Menace isn’t, even if he is a dry gear.”

I follow his attention to where Menace lurks behind us. The way Menace’s gaze travels over me makes me uncomfortable. At least he’s easy on my eyes if it wasn’t for his permanently vicious expression like he’s always planning someone’s demise.

“What makes you say that?”

Shifter takes Horvina’s bag from my shoulders along with another pack, leaving me down to one bag. “I learn a lot about others from being the quiet one. Menace hides a lot and keeps his mind locked. But many days of these cold dark tunnels, walking in fear of being eaten by welvirs or blown up by Solcrue show me everyone’s true self. It can make the best of us lose control.

“He doesn’t want to hurt you or anyone, even if he talks like it. He just expects to get hurt. It’s why he keeps a firm barrier between himself and others. Sound familiar?”

I don’t know if Shifter’s right or if he’s trying to make a point about something. The prospect of walking all night after so many long hours already has me feeling beat down.

“All I’m saying is that everyone has their problems, but we’re not the summation of those pieces. We have good qualities and wounds that sometimes don’t get healed.”

“Yeah.”

I can relate more than I want to admit.

“Let him take the last bag,”

Shifter gently offers.

I feel Menace approaching from behind. “I’ve got it, thanks.”

But before I can step away, Menace frees the pack from my shoulders in one swift move, then slings it over his back.

“What are you doing?”

I scamper away from him, desperate to keep distance between us.

“It’s a long walk,”

Menace growls.

I grab a strap and try to free it from his dense body, but he just ignores my attempt. Anger stirs with helplessness, and I lash out and punch him in the chest, which isn’t easy. I’m eye-level with his proud pecs. “Give me back my things!”

Menace doesn’t even flinch. “No.”

“What do you mean, no? Those are my things!”

Poppy joins us. “Menace, don’t be stubborn.”

“Everything is everybody’s responsibility down here.”

Menace tilts his head and intensely studies me.

“Not that bag. It has my medicine and weapons coded to only me. Don’t you fucking touch my stuff! I worked really hard to save that!”

“Medicine?”

he asks. “For what?”

“None of your business.”

Menace pushes me on with the group. “It’s a long trek with no break. I can carry it. I don’t want to carry it and you.”

I draw a gun, desperate to keep my roots, the only things that can keep my augment’s existence quiet. “Give me my shit!”

Menace is fast and swats the gun aside. He grabs me, controls the gun, and pulls me back and against him so that my ass is crushed against his hips and his rigid length.

He’s fucking hard right now? Seriously?

He whispers in my ear, “Stop fighting me. I’m trying to help you.”

“You’re not helping me unless you let me carry my bag. It’s my responsibility.”

I writhe in his grasp, desperate to be away from him.

“No.”

I break myself free, let him keep my gun, and storm up ahead of the group near Tumble and Bomber. I’m so pissed I can’t think straight. I want my medicine, but I don’t have the energy to fight him for it any longer.

Poppy turns back and walks up to Menace, looking like she’s talking to him by the dancing red light in their eyes. I hope she can get through to him so I can get some medicine soon, or I’m going to be in trouble.

Wrapping my rifle strap around an arm, I steady the gun between my hands and savor the last few hours of peaceful hunting before the migraines start.

I take a tunnel that weaves in and out of the main passageway and let the shadows fold in around me. I’ll be no help to anyone if I’m as good as bait. So when the pain takes me, at least I can draw some welvirs away and be a distraction from the camp until my time is up.

I fucking hate Menace.