Page 10 of Melt For Us, Daddy (Big Daddy Energy #4)

“After our talk, you will decide if you need to be punished. If you say no, then we won’t speak of it again. You will have the same clean slate with me as always.”

“If I say yes?”

A hint of a smile played on Cordelia’s lips, though it didn’t touch the sadness in her eyes.

“A spanking. A very painful one at that. And for the next week, you will ask my permission for everything. Even when you are at work. You will ask permission to eat, to use the bathroom, to go out with your friends. Every single move you make will be at my discretion. And why do you think that is, Ivy Mae?”

“Be-because I belong to you.”

Pride flashed in Cordelia’s eyes. “That’s exactly right, little girl. But first, we need to talk.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

With a soft sigh, Cordelia ran a hand over Ivy’s hair. “You were right. I lied to you. I broke your trust, and worse, I made you feel like I don’t trust you. But I promise you, baby, that has never been an issue.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me? Please, Dee, help me understand. I want us to be able to fix this but right now it just feels so… huge.”

“I know, baby. And I wish I had an easy answer that would make it all better. But I don’t.

All I can say is that it was never about not trusting you or not wanting to tell you, specifically.

I think…” Pressing her lips together, Cordelia shook her head.

“No. I know I just wanted to leave it all behind me. Pretend it never happened. And I found the less I talked about it, the less… real it all seemed. Until it just became something like a bad dream.”

Understanding began to dawn, the light of it burning away some of the anger sitting heavy in her chest. “That’s why you panicked so badly when your mom came to visit us that first Christmas.”

“Partly, yes. That was the first time in nearly a decade I had to face the fact that it hadn’t been a dream.

It was real and it happened to me and it was horrible.

But then mom left and I wanted to tell you everything, I swear I did, but every day that went by without talking about it made it feel more and more like a dream again. ”

“Oh, Dee. What about therapy? You said you were going, that you were talking about things with your therapist.”

“I was. But I think because it was so far removed from here, it was easier to compartmentalize, I guess? It could still be a bad dream because I never talked about it here . And some part of me hated the idea of bringing any of that home, letting it touch you, taint you. You’re like this bright light in my life, Ivy, and the thought of any part of that darkness touching you was just more than I could bear. ”

“You were shielding me.” God, wasn’t that just like her woman? “Trying to protect me from the horror you went through.”

“I suppose I was.”

“Well, you need to stop,” Ivy snapped, and to Cordelia’s credit she didn’t even raise a brow at the sharp tone.

“I’m not some fragile little flower who can’t handle the realities of the world, Cordelia.

I don’t want to be protected. I don’t want to be shielded.

I want to be with you, down in the darkness and the muck.

If that’s where you came from, then that’s where I’ll be.

Dragging you back up into the light with me if I have to.

But from this point forward, you don’t hide things from me.

I may be your submissive, but I won’t be kept in the dark anymore. ”

“No. No more, baby. I promise. It—it may take me some time, to be able to tell you all of what happened to me. Especially the worst of it. But I promise I will tell you everything.”

She wanted to trust that. To trust her. But how could she?

Shifting slightly to ease the growing ache in her thighs, her gaze landed on the strap Cordelia had laid beside her on the couch.

There is nothing I could do she wouldn’t forgive.

How could she accept that kind of grace if she wasn’t willing to give it herself?

Yeah, Cordelia had fucked up. But she’d admitted it, explained why, and promised to do better.

If the tables were turned, she would forgive Ivy, even before any punishment she might have earned.

A punishment that wouldn’t be about any kind of revenge on Cordelia’s part, but solely for Ivy’s benefit.

The kind of cleansing only a hard, painful spanking could give her.

So yeah, as hard as it was, she owed Cordelia at least a fraction of the love and understanding she’d been shown for the past two years.

Forcing her gaze back up to meet Cordelia’s, she nodded slowly.

“You’ll tell me everything? Not just the parts you think I can handle?

All the deep, dark shit you’ve been keeping from me? ”

“As long as it’s mine to tell, yes.”

Part of her wanted to push for more. To demand more. But another part of her recognized that just the promise was costing her woman in ways she couldn’t understand. So for now, she would have to be okay with what was being offered.

And hope it was enough.

“Okay. I believe you.”

Relief flashed in Cordelia’s eyes. “Thank you, baby. I know that’s not an easy thing to do, after… everything.”

“It’s not.” It was, in fact, the hardest thing she’d ever had to do as Cordelia’s submissive. “So please don’t make me regret trusting you, Dee.”

“I won’t, baby. I promise. Come here.”

Practically vaulting herself up from the ground, Ivy curled up in her woman’s lap, wrapping her arms around her neck with a sob. “I love you. I love you so fucking much. I don’t wanna fight anymore.”

“Shhh, baby. It’s okay. We’re okay.”

They sat just like that, wrapped around each other for what felt like hours. With Cordelia gently rocking her, assuring her they were okay and everything was going to work out and that she was loved. And with every tender word, the rock in Ivy’s stomach broke apart a little more.

“I think it’s time for bed, blossom,” Cordelia said softly, pressing a kiss to Ivy’s hair.

What remained of the rock in her stomach grew heavy again. “Oh, but… Um. You still owe me a spanking. Ma’am.”

Pulling away slightly, Cordelia cupped her face, her eyes full of worry. “Are you sure, baby? You’ve got a get out of jail free pass for this one if you want it.”

“No. I-I need this. I feel awful for losing it on you like that, especially at the club. I don’t think I can go back there, look everyone in the eye if I haven’t been punished.”

For a moment, she thought Cordelia might back out on her. But then she sighed and nodded her agreement. “All right. Go change into a pair of pjs and then meet me back out here.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”