Page 111 of Meet Me In The Dark

I want to be angry.

I want to scream because this was supposed to last longer.

The surgery was supposed to help.

Another cramp knives through me, stealing everything else. Sweat beads along my hairline as my body curls in on itself.

I need to move.

Julian’s expression darkens as I force myself up.

I swear this pain feels like it’s going to split me in two.

“Celeste, talk to me.”

I can’t.

I can’t because if I do, if I let one word slip out, all the pain and all the fear will follow, and I’ll drown in it right here in front of him.

I reach for my robe and wrap it around myself with shaky hands.

The smile I throw him is paper-thin. “Just… give me a sec.”

I make it to the bathroom, shut the door, and grip the sink until my knuckles ache. Shaking two painkillers into my palm, I swallow them dry despite the lump in my throat.

I look in the mirror and wince.

God, look at me.

Hair wild from Julian’s hands, face pale and tight with pain.

Another wave hits, buckling my knees. I bite down hard to keep the sob in.

“Celeste?” Julian’s voice comes muffled through the door.

Inhaling, I force my body upright even as my muscles scream in protest.

There’s no blood yet, but I feel it lurking. I know the signs too well.

With an effort that costs me every ounce of strength I have left, I straighten my robe, school my features, and swing the bathroom door open.

Julian is already dressed, but his brows are furrowed with the kind of worry that makes my chest ache.

I brush past those feelings and press a kiss to his cheek. “Women’s issues.”

“Women’s issues?” Julian repeats slowly.

“Period,” I say, ignoring the tremor in my voice.

He stares at me for too long. If I let him keep looking, he’ll see everything—the pain, the panic, the way I’m hanging on by my fingernails.

I can’t have him here right now. I can’t let him see me crumble.

“I just need a shower and a hot water bottle.” I give him a weak smile. “I’m exhausted. See you tomorrow?”

“Fuck that.” He steps closer. “I’m not leaving you like this.”

“Julian, please. I just… I need space tonight. Honestly, I’ll be fine. I’m tired.”