Page 11 of Meant to Burn

Pushing open my bedroom door, I close it behind me and set my belongings on the desk.

I begin to pace, burying my hands in my hair and yanking at the strands until my scalp stings.

I feel like I need the pain to ground me, and even the one in my stomach isn’t enough anymore.

My exhale is shaky as I grab my rosary from the desk and set it on the bed.

I take off my jeans but keep my underwear and shirt on, then kneel on the mattress.

I face the wall above my headboard, reciting prayers and closing my eyes, and eventually, I press my forehead to the pillow and stay on my knees.

With my rosary gripped in my fist, I let the tears run down my cheeks.

I’m not sure how long I stay this way, but I hear my lock click and snap out of my daze.

I squeeze my eyes tighter, not daring to look, even though I know exactly who just walked in.

My fist tightens, the beads of the rosary digging into my palm painfully, and I wince.

It just reminds me of the reason I’m praying.

For being a liar. I suppose I could always ignore the instructions Father Jacob gave me, but then who would I be if I did that? I’ve already messed up beyond belief.

“Is my pretty little liar begging for forgiveness?” Azriel’s voice breaks through my thoughts, making me clench my pillow between my fingers.

I whimper, not daring to move as my tears soak the pillow. I can barely breathe through my nose from how much I’ve been crying, but I won’t be moving from this position. I refuse to.

“Elijah, I’m talking to you.” He warns, “I don’t like being ignored.”

“Go away, Azriel,” I tell him, voice muffled by my pillow. I shift my face to the side so he can hear me better, when I see that he’s climbing into bed and kneeling behind me. I stiffen. “Please.”

He doesn’t reply. Instead, he grabs me by my hair and yanks me up until I’m on my knees, his front flush with my back.

His cock is nestled between my ass cheeks, hard as a steel rod.

My nostrils flare when his free hand wraps around my throat, and I begin to shake when his lips press against the shell of my ear.

“You want to know what I think?” he asks softly, and I shake my head. I don’t want to know. I want him to leave me be. I need a night to myself. I think he’s done enough damage for a lifetime. “I think if these tears are for your God, I’m going to be really pissed off.”

Azriel’s fingers tighten around my throat until I can’t take in a breath, then release slightly. His fingers are still clutching the strands of my hair painfully, and I exhale a shaky breath as he grinds his cock against me.

“Go away,” I demand, but my voice trembles, and if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t really want him to. I want him to fight for me, but I’d never admit to it. Because at the same time, I feel like I need to fight for myself. For what’s best for me. I need to fight for my faith. “I demand it.”

“You demand it?” Azriel chuckles, and a shiver runs down my spine.

“Let me make something clear to you, Elijah.” His grip tightens on my hair until more tears spill from my eyes, and the hand around my throat shifts to the middle of my back.

He shoves me down once more, pushing my face into the pillow.

I’m on my knees now, back arched, ass in perfect alignment with his cock.

Open for him. Pliant but not. “You only kneel for me .”

“That’s absurd, and you know it,” I say, trying to buck him off.

“Stop fighting me,” he growls. “It just makes me want to turn you inside out even more.”

“You’re not doing anything to me,” I grit out.

“No?” Azriel tuts, letting go of me abruptly.

I immediately miss the heat of his body against me and almost whimper at the loss of him.

That is, until his fingers dig into my hips, tugging my underwear over my ass and down my thighs.

“I think you’d do just about anything to have me in that tight little ass. ”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why, Little Lamb?” he mocks. “Afraid your God will find out? I bet he already knows.”

“Shut up,” I growl, and I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry in my life. “Shut. Up.”

A sudden sting has me bucking forward, away from him.

He just spanked me. I groan, my balls tightening and my cock filling quickly with blood.

Just when I think he’s done, two more swats land on my ass in rapid succession.

I whimper, shaking my head, about to protest when I feel his breath against my hole.

I clench, scared yet exhilarated all the same.

I want him there, and he knows it. He knows how to play me like an instrument.

I’ve never stood a chance against him.

“This pretty ass belongs to me,” he whispers, kissing my cheek slowly, dragging his tongue over my skin until he’s close to my crease. “ You belong to me.”

“Azriel.”

“Beg me, Eli,” Az chokes out, his voice hoarse. “Beg me to fill your ass. Beg me to ruin you.”

“You’ve already ruined me,” I whisper.

“You’re going to worship me,” he says through gritted teeth, and I can hear the anger in his voice as he tilts my hips further up.

“You’re going to beg for anything I want to give you, and you’re going to do it from your fucking knees, Elijah, or lying to your priest will be the least of your worries. ”

I tremble. “You know?”

“I know everything,” he replies harshly. “I see everything.”

The cap of a bottle opening sounds like an explosion in the silence of the room, but I refuse to look. A cold container rolls toward my thigh, and this time I open my eyes and see that it’s lube. I frown, but then there are cold fingers pressing to my entrance, and my eyes widen.

“I don’t know if I want this, Azriel,” I say quickly. “Wait?—”

“Give me a good reason,” he says calmly, and my mind goes blank. “I don’t think you have one.”

“I—” I choke when Azriel’s fingers drag down my crease, spreading the lube over my hole. It’s cold and sticky, and I shudder when the pad of one of his fingers rubs a circle over my rim. “ Az .”

“Yes, Beloved?” he asks softly, and when I look over my shoulder, his eyes are intense, and his lips are set in a smirk. My eyes widen when he pushes the tip of his finger into me, and the burn takes my breath away. “Relax for me. Let me in this pretty little hole.”

I take a deep breath, forcing my body to relax, and moan when more of his finger pushes into me.

I remember the way I fingered him, rough and demanding, punishing, and almost flinch.

He’s taking it easy on me, when instead, he let me have revenge on him.

I don’t think I deserve this much softness, but I stay quiet.

“Y-yes,” I whisper, pushing my ass back a little, his finger slipping all the way in.

He withdraws it, then pushes two inside of me simultaneously.

I moan, feeling the sting all the way down to my toes, but when he begins to thrust his fingers in and out of me, my toes curl for a different reason.

One that isn’t pain. Because right now, as he curls his fingers just like I did to him, all I feel is pleasure. “Oh, yes, baby , please.”

Azriel growls deep in his chest, pumping his fingers harder. “Baby, huh?”

His fingers rub over a sensitive spot inside of me, one that lights me up from the inside out, and my eyes roll to the back of my head. I bite my bottom lip to keep my sounds in, and Azriel goes even harder and faster. I think he’s doing it on purpose. He wants to hear me, but I refuse.

“No.” I shake my head. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“You want this,” he says softly, and I can hear the smirk in his voice even though I’m not watching him. It’s odd that I can see it in my head with my eyes closed, but I can. “Admit it.”

“If I want this, I must be wicked,” I whisper.

“Then why does it feel like grace, Little Lamb?” His voice is sensual and low, doing strange things to my stomach.

The way his fingers work me deep inside feels unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, and I reach between my legs and start tugging on my cock quickly, chasing relief.

I practically sob at the pleasure quickly building up, at the way my spine begins to tingle.

My balls feel like they’re about to explode, and just as I’m about to finish, Azriel pulls his fingers out and leaves me empty.

I make a whimpering sound in protest.

“I can do this all night, Elijah,” Azriel says softly, running a hand down my spine, fingers digging into my ass cheek and parting me. My face heats. Does he like what he sees? “Give me what I want.”

I frown, confused. “W-what do you want?”

“All of you.”

I shake my head. “Not that.”

“You’ll give me what I want.” Azriel smirks. “It’s just a matter of time.”

Turning my head, I look at him. His eyes are glued to my ass, which I realize, is still on full display for him. I’m spread open, knees apart, back arched. My balls are full, my cock throbbing between my legs to the beat of my heart. I’d do just about anything to come at this point.

“Just—” I clear my throat. “ Please .”

“What are you asking for?” He smirks, raising an eyebrow as his eyes connect with mine. “Hmm?”

“God, please , just let me come,” I whimper, touching myself, wrapping a hand around my cock once more, and jerking it slowly. My toes curl at the pleasure, and Azriel’s hand lands on my ass for a hard slap. “I need to come.”

“I’m not God,” he growls. “If you’re going to beg me, at least say my fucking name.”

“ Azriel .”

“Yes, Little Lamb?”

“Please,” I choke out. “I’ll do anything?—”

“Get on your back.” He cuts me off. “Legs spread.”